Has anyone ever attempted to do a spot of matchmaking for you?

@thea09 (18323)
Greece
November 6, 2009 6:28am CST
Last Friday, as some of you may know, my koubara commanded the presence of my son and I at dinner in a taveran. We duly attended and I did not even notice the real intention behind it until I heard of it this morning. My koubara was attempting to do a bit of matchmaking between myself and a friend of hers, whose presence I barely registered at all at the time. Apparently said male friend is looking for a wife and had expressed his interest. This being despite the fact that I have a Greek of my own, which I have never mentioned to my koubara but it is impossible to keep anything to oneself round here. She was lying in wait for me when I went out this morning and expalined her scheming because naturally he is rich. I laughed and asked if she was crazy. She even apologised. As a final gesture she has now persuaded me to dinner again tonight without the rich man being there. So has anything like that happened to you, or have you sprung this on any of your friends?
5 people like this
19 responses
@ZephyrSun (7385)
• United States
6 Nov 09
Poor thea with her koubara. Can't you sell her?? I've never had friends do that before I met my husband I was to wrapped up with my kids to worry about a man in my life and then I decided to go to college leaving me even less time.
2 people like this
@thea09 (18323)
• Greece
6 Nov 09
HAAA sell her, I wish. Whether you want or have time in your life for a man is irrelevant round here.Does your mother in law fancy a visitor Zeph?
@ZephyrSun (7385)
• United States
6 Nov 09
I'm sure she does, she a mean, malipative old bat which leaves her very lonely on her own accord.
@thea09 (18323)
• Greece
6 Nov 09
I'll tell her to start packing this evening then, they should get on really well.
@jb78000 (15173)
6 Nov 09
boris - every woman's dream
oh dear. anyway i have the solution - next time take along this heroic figure:
1 person likes this
@thea09 (18323)
• Greece
6 Nov 09
I kid you not the koubara might run off with him, I expect old Boris can woe her with a bit of classical Greek chat up and being of the public school variety I'm sure he has a preference for large behinds. Good one rabbit.
1 person likes this
@jb78000 (15173)
6 Nov 09
lost your avatar again alice? try thinking where you last put it.
• United States
6 Nov 09
Why don't you want your avatar back, Alice? I don't mind if you choose a different avatar, but you really need to get rid of the white outline in the green box, because I do not feel right about hugging it, and I owe you a couple big hugs by now.
@PeacefulWmn9 (10424)
• United States
6 Nov 09
You poor thing, Thea lol. Only once, when I was fresh out of high school did someone try to play matchmaker for me, and it was my dad! He convinced me to meet a young man he worked with, but I didn't take to the young man, so that was that lol. Karen
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17627)
• Singapore
7 Nov 09
No offense to anyone whom adores matchmaking or don't have any qualms about it. Personally, I have a disdain for matchmaking. That's because we are just following someone's idea of the person that we are supposed to end up with or be dating. However, they do have our interest at heart; but perhaps it's just something within me. And I'm not able to sort of like go with the flow of things that they have ideas which they think we might like. Just hypothetically saying. But anyway, I used to have this friend whom loves to match-make me. I just sat through, tolerating it all. So Thea, I could totally relate to your experience there. Rich or no rich, if the personality is like a fish, no point..
@thea09 (18323)
• Greece
7 Nov 09
Hi Zed, I don't think people who do interfere like that have our interests at heart but their own. As she has now tried it again I have simply cut her out of my life, which was also my sons choice, as he's as fed up with her as I am. It's not exactly as if I'm available anyway and if I was I could certainly manage without help. We know what we like in a person and the person who interefered has now paid for it.
1 person likes this
@thea09 (18323)
• Greece
8 Nov 09
Absolutely Alice, there is always a spark which no one else can have an idea about.
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@zed_k4 (17627)
• Singapore
9 Nov 09
Thea, I doubly agree too... sometimes, in order to make people understand that we are not something is also another entirely thing altogether. Like I've watched this movie whereby the best friend falls for the friend whom is supposed to get married, and on the other hand, the friend is recommending this so called friend to another guy. I can't remember the title of the movie. Normally, in any given situation, it is sometimes a criteria of a person or a personality, which is being taken into consideration. And another thing I have seen is that whenever someone is single and chooses to be so, they would be labeled as gay for the guys, and lesbians for the ladies. That is kind of corny, I'd say. And doesn't necessarily have to be true. Very good discussion you have here, Thea..
• United States
6 Nov 09
Alright, I am confused, although admittedly it doesn't take much to confuse me. I thought you were married, so why would she be trying to set you up with anyone? Also, she must not be a very good match-maker if you hardly even noticed the guy. Then again, if you are married why would you notice him? Alright, still confused.
@thea09 (18323)
• Greece
6 Nov 09
Hi purplealabaster, no I'm divorced not married. I have my own Greek though at safe distance from the rabbid village gossips who in theory know I have a man but only a few know who he is so it can drive them mad with their gossiping. Greek gossip is endless. I suspect my koubara has been kept in the dark about who it is but would naturally disapprove anyway of anyone not handpicked by her good self, thus as far as she's concerned I'm ripe for marriage offers.
• United States
6 Nov 09
Ah, that makes more sense! I was sure you had mentioned being married before, but the divorce would have taken care of that now, wouldn't it? I think it is wise to keep the identity of your Greek a secret, especially if the gossip is really that bad over there. Besides, it is fun to have a "secret affair", at least for a while. If it gets serious, though, you might have to bring your relationship out into the open. Think of the shock and horror of the villagers, then. As for your original question, my husband's mother inadvertently played match-maker for us. She was just trying to distract him for a while when she introduced us, but her plan obviously backfired. Apparently she was a better match-maker than she thought she was.
@thea09 (18323)
• Greece
6 Nov 09
Actually the Greeks mother did introduce us but I think it was his brother who first brought up the idea. See the whole family already love me. We are not conducting a secret affair though, just not open about it in my village where his family live,and where I refuse to fuel their gossiping, but nothing is secret in Greece and if people spot us out within 20kms of his own village then they telephone all the relatives down in my village, so they all know where I've been before I even get home.
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
6 Nov 09
That woman!!!! needs to mind her own buisness. She should have talked to u about it before she tried to play cupid. I don't like people going behind my back w/ulterior motives. I don't trust people like that.
@thea09 (18323)
• Greece
6 Nov 09
Hi Aunty, yes the words scheming witch came to mind when she told me. I had the pleasure though of questioning her sanity and maybe for the first time in her life she apolgised. She apologised for doing that and apologised for telling me who not to mix with. Unfortunately she apologised so much that we are now going round for dinner later at the house, and she'd better not have anymore strange men lined up no matter how big their wallets are.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
6 Nov 09
She'll have something up her sleeve.
@thea09 (18323)
• Greece
7 Nov 09
And don't I wish I'd listened to my Aunty. I just told the whole horrid tale to Holly on the next page.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
6 Nov 09
No it hasn't and no I haven't. Rich, single Greek, you say?
• Australia
7 Nov 09
Quotes from Thea . . . "less personality than the chair he was sitting on" - "in no way breathtakingly handsome" - "failed to exude buckets of intelligence" Nah Dawn - not for you.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Nov 09
Translation of the quote from Thea ... he did not have any chest hair.
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@thea09 (18323)
• Greece
7 Nov 09
Believe me I wasn't interested enough to look. I've already got one Greek with his own chest hair thanks all the same, you're welcome to the ex koubara's misfits.
1 person likes this
• Australia
8 Nov 09
Hi Thea. I was going to respond to this before, but I saw your comment to Holly and thought you'd rather kill the discussion. It seems to be continuing . . . . . I was an absolute man-hater until I was 22 years old, and a complete loner, so no one ever tried to matchmate me. It wouldn't have worked anyway, since at 22 I had already applied to become a nun working in an orphanage. That was a long time ago. I have never played matchmaker, but I have encouraged and helped couples who had already met and found each other attractive - with the blessing of the girl involved. I never tried to matchmate for my sons - they were at Uni anyway. I think every mother at some time wants to pick their sons' wives, but I must admit each of them did a much better job than I would have done. Their wives are perfect for them. I do know a most eligible young man I'd like to see married, but I can't think of anyone who would be good enough for him anyway. Trouble is, neither can he.
@thea09 (18323)
• Greece
8 Nov 09
Hi Cloudwatcher, I was indeed trying to drop this one but we have no control over these things. Anyway having seen but a little of your earlier mentions of your younger days it makes me feel petty complaining about a thing like this anyway, but I stand firm and no one takes me for a ride like that, and we have now disowned the interfering woman, papers or no papers. It makes me wonder at the sort of person who would do that when one is already attached, just because I've kept that information well out of ears does not leave me certain that she cannot but be aware of it. In fact with mine now quite a while before I met him his mama did express a wish to see us together, and did introduce us when we were both in the same place at the same time, but not a word has been said on the subject since that day, and as she knows how private her son is has never once alluded to the fact that she knows we see each other but has mentioned to mutual friends that she is happy about it. Having seen first hand though the way that mama can interfere with her other sons marriage I think my Greek actually made the right decision to want us to keep it quiet from his family so they don't interfere at all until we have had ample time to ourselves first. I think mama has come to her own conclusion that it is all more likely to go somewhere if she doesn't interfere, knowing me very well and of course her son. So that would fit in with your theory about mamas wanting to some say in who their sons end up with. Also at some point it becomes a bit ridiculous condsidering the ages of the parties involved. Although I love his mama greatly there are certain acts of interference I've heard of now from the other side which leave me rather speechless and my man at this wits end, such as her hiring of a maid for him this summer when he he was suffering from thrombosis, without asking him, leaving him on his doorstep refusing to let the said maid in, who is apparently the biggest gossip in his village, and thrombosis or not he was determined not to allow people into his house who he is not comfortable with. The saga of his furniture and mamas dealings is to impossible to describe.
• Australia
8 Nov 09
Well, I've always thought Greeks were very emotional people and it seems that could be so. At least you are well aware of their culture. You know I wish you well and hope everything works out well with your Greek and with all the family and the villagers. "And they lived happily every after" sort of thing.
• Australia
8 Nov 09
Hi Alice. I was registered to become a novitiate January 1959. It wasn't a noble decision at all. I was a man hater so I knew I could never marry a man. I LOVED children but couldn't have any if I didn't marry. I was a loner. No one had ever cared about me, so I decided to become a nun in an order that ran an orphanage. There I could have a number of children. An entirely selfish reason, Alice - not noble. My life changed completely in June 1958 but that is a very long story. No. I did not become a nun.
@sunny68 (1327)
• India
6 Nov 09
...it seems that someone is really worried about you....better be careful....unless you wish otherwise..... here it is a favorite pass-time of the elderly ladies who seem to have no other work to do. god forbid if they come to know someone is unmarried...and then the witch hunt begins..... i had been haunted several times......
@thea09 (18323)
• Greece
7 Nov 09
Oh poor you sunny, you sound like you really have been haunted by this practice. I hadn't realised they could be so bad as to interfere even when there is actually someone else on the scene, they must see us as free until the car horns blow.
@sunny68 (1327)
• India
8 Nov 09
its more like routine and therefore taken for granted that such matchmakers are generally itching to make some recommendations. one invariably ends up disappointing a few of them...even if that is unintentional...
@thea09 (18323)
• Greece
8 Nov 09
Well you can't be expected to marry all of them sunny.
@tdemex (3545)
• United States
6 Nov 09
What a gaggle session this is! In my younger years I never needed any help! I did just fine on my own! tdemex
@thea09 (18323)
• Greece
6 Nov 09
And what exactly is a gaggle session meant to be, some strange American terminolgy there TD. Whatever it is it sounds insulting.
1 person likes this
@tdemex (3545)
• United States
6 Nov 09
No it's not insulting at all it basically is when a bunch of old hens get together and Blah, Blah Blah! like a gab fest! No offense intended!
@thea09 (18323)
• Greece
6 Nov 09
Have to say you've got a very strange with of describing non insulting there TD. Lets take a look now. OLD. HENS. BLAH. And we're all younger than a certain someone I could mention.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Nov 09
Hi thea, I read Holly's response and then your comment about what happen the evening you had to go back to dinner with the conniving koubara (that sounds like a good title to a book). I'm sorry you had to go through that experience. My experience with the matchmaking virus (someone has the virus and tries to infect me) was actually when I was in high school (many moons ago) and my mom was horrified that I was "associating" with an unsavory bunch, she wanted a nice suitable young man for me. She "arranged" for me to go to the movies with this guy, total slimy sort, and so conceited and so unattractive and so into pretentious airs about his family being with money etc. I was aghast with humiliation at my mom. I hissed to her that if she found him so suitable she should go with him. Of course that didn't earn me any extra brownies that night. I fought fire with fire and told her so innocently that I, couldn't possibly go to the movies, unchaperoned, and made my younger sister go with me. My mom was strict about "dating", meaning no dating unless she approved, so the unchaperoned thing was something she had used on me to prevent me from going out with anyone. The guy who heard that my sister was going decided to bring his little sister, (so everyone would pair off). We did, I sat in the theater first and my sister (darling girl) scooted in right next to me and then his sister wanted to sit next to my sister and him on the end. He was right ballsy though and said he wanted to move his seat, so true to form, we all stood up and moved one further down, in the same order. I could barely contain the laughter. But in the end, we all realized that this was not meant to be and my mom left me alone to find my own suitors after that. I hope this brought some laughter to you.
@thea09 (18323)
• Greece
7 Nov 09
Hi lina, I lost my response to you but I was laughing the first time, that was an amusing story and I felt a bit sorry for the boy at the end of the row of seats, until I remembered he was pretentious. Why do boys think that anyone would think they had anything to do with their family having money? Did you have a signal ready beforehand with your sister to hop into the next seat? I was cheered this morning by speaking to my Greek who knew exactly the right thing to say to me about it, which is what I'd needed last night, a laugh about it to dissipate my anger.
• United States
8 Nov 09
Good, I'm glad you are restored to your good natured humor. My sister, when she found out it was this guy that my mom wanted me to go with, was right with me in disbelief and I think if I had any attraction to him she would have done the same thing anyway. No signal needed, she was just as determined to not make this an enjoyable evening for him. Her take on it was, if this guy was going to be in my life, then somehow it would mingle in hers and she was not going to have any of that. My sister and I are very close, (she is 3 years younger, but much more mature than I am). His whole act about the money was to impress my mom (which unfortunately it did) but did nothing for me. It was high school to, I think I was 16 years old. It is absolutely funny to think about it now. No need to feel sorry for him, he made an issue out of it with his little sister and somewhat showed his true nature/personality and since he couldn't laugh it off, which is what he should have done, my mom was the type of person that did have a sense of humor and she did find it funny. She sort of realized that if he couldn't laugh about something like that then maybe I was right.
@thea09 (18323)
• Greece
8 Nov 09
I can't believe your own mother was trying to pair you off at the tender age of 16 even if she did send chaperones along. I'm most glad to hear that you have a sister you are close to with good sense. I hope the boy grew out of the habit of trying to impress girls mothers with dropping in the family assests, a trait I find loathsome.
@Louc74 (620)
6 Nov 09
Hi Thea. I have to ask, cos I'm nosy! What's a koubara??? I have a friend who's a bit crazy, and she is a member of a good few dating sites, and sees different guys all the time. I was visiting her one night, and heard her on the phone to this guy who she had been seeing, telling him to come through, and bring his single pal, who had been asking if she had any single friends! Now, earlier in the evening, she had been asking if I was interested in this guy, who sounded like a complete slob, dumped his existing girl when she was diagnosed with cancer (nice!), and seemed to change women as often as most of us change our underwear. So I had already told her, ummmm.....NO THANKS!!!! Then she was on the phone telling them to come to hers, and I only heard her accidentally! Needless to say, I made my excuses, and left very hastily! Lol!
@Louc74 (620)
6 Nov 09
Aah ok. Just read the rest of the comments, and I get what a koubara is now.
@thea09 (18323)
• Greece
7 Nov 09
Hi Lou, good for making a speedy exit with that one, why is it so difficult for people to understand that no means no and why do they feel the need to fix people up anyway.
@Louc74 (620)
10 Nov 09
Hee hee! Barsteward! Hehehe! I know. But what's even worse is her thinking he would be a good BF for me! Some friend! Luckily, I don't see her that often - she is a bit crazy!
@SomeCowgirl (32266)
• United States
8 Nov 09
Yes and it didn't work out. I was too terribly shy! Then again when I met my husband it was through a friend but no blind date so to speak, it was just our mutual friend told my husband he should message me, and he did. Of course said friend also later tried to break up up, but it didn't work! We no longer talk to this friend, and obviously are much happier just the same!
@thea09 (18323)
• Greece
8 Nov 09
Hi Amber, well you got rid of the two faced friend and you and Mr Hellcowboy are the happy newly weds so it all turned out good in the end.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32266)
• United States
8 Nov 09
Happy endings are always great! lol!
@laydee (12813)
• Philippines
7 Nov 09
Hmm.. Not really as far as I could remember. There was one though in our school days where a friend of mine decided to match me and a classmate together - not for out own interest but just for fun with her, everyone knew about it and it lasted the whole time in my primary school and secondary school. Neither one of us had an interest with each other so it remained a joke. Due to the constant matching, though, we (the guy and I) have never really gotten the chance to be friends more than acquaintances. As far as matchmaking, I have done a little of my own scheme for friends, but only to the point of 'suggesting' not really setting up something to make them meet.
@laydee (12813)
• Philippines
8 Nov 09
Oh.. Then you didn't get to see how 'bullies' most were? There were always wars of the sexes in school, most especially during classes to see who's more intelligent beings. hahahaa..
@thea09 (18323)
• Greece
9 Nov 09
No I missed all that. We knew we were more intelligent than the boys at their grammar school and they weren't on hand to argue about it. It has left me at rather a loss with speaking to teenage boys though as we only tended to see them as a kind of foreign species.and didn't get to see their more grubby side.
@rg0205 (2638)
• Hong Kong
6 Nov 09
Oh my. That must've been an experience. Well, fortunately, I've not been in that type of awkward situation but I do know a friend who has been, hehe. I hope your friend didn't do that again. Maybe next time you should turn the tables on her hehehe.
@thea09 (18323)
• Greece
7 Nov 09
Hi rg, I hope that long may you stay out of such an experience, I will be giving short time to anyone who attempts to interfere in my life again.
@rg0205 (2638)
• Hong Kong
8 Nov 09
I personally don't understand people who do that. They like to think they mean well but I think those types of situations that involve another one's personal life shouldn't be tampered with. I wish you the best. Happy mylotting.
@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
6 Nov 09
Ah, the penny dropped. She was matchmaking.I've never done that i my life. My eldest sister - (she who must be obeyed) tried desperately for me to marry a man of her choice. Simply because he liked me and was wealthy, a sportsman who is now titled. But I didn't like him. My father did it to me when I was 17 and I did not likr his choice either. So I went to college in London and made my own choice.
@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
6 Nov 09
I see her about every two years and she always at some time comes out with the fact that I could have been Lady so and so. Last time she said this I told her that I was lady already!
• United States
13 Nov 09
OMG yes. a friend of mine was insistant to try to fix me up with someone while i was not dating at the time (with good reason)..and he only proved why i needed to take a break. i don't know what he was thinking..the guy had questionable hygiene and grooming,and somehow thought he was "getting some" within a couple of hours. i never did a bathroom escape before,but that time i utilized it. i told him never try to fix me up again.
@thea09 (18323)
• Greece
15 Nov 09
Hi Scarlet woman, I've read of so many bathroom escapes in novels but don't think I've actually heard of anyone really doing it before, well done. That explains why people try to set people up, the guy with the bad hygiene isn't going to find anyone any other way. I was livid about it for days as this kind of thing hasn't happened to me before and she knew I gather that I have my own Greek anyway, we just choose not to announce it to everyone as they are all a gaggle of gossips.
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
6 Nov 09
I have a friend that does try to do this....but she is very careful after one experience where she wanted to set me up with someone and I knew somewhat who he was and I asked her if she was really my friend or what? LOL....asked her if she would go out with him.....she said no....I asked her why would she think I would then!
@wmraul (2557)
• Bucharest, Romania
6 Nov 09
I'v never been involved into matchmaking despite I had plenty of opportunities (and still are some "situations" to be avoided). I have been "targeted" several times yet I managed always to see it coming and avoid it.
@thea09 (18323)
• Greece
7 Nov 09
Good for you Wmraul, stand firm and avoid. As she's now tried it again I wish you lived nearer as I'm too small to go round punching anyone.