If your child made a promise, would you force them to keep it?

I believe you did the right thing. I'd have done the same. Kids should learn the value of keeping their word, integrity and it's also about responsibilities, too. You're right, it was "rude, immature and irresponsible behavior." I hope that sure taught him a lesson.

You did exactly the right thing, if your son did not intend to babysit for your friend, then he should never had told her yes in the first place. As far as it goes for my children, they are still both very young, but I am trying to instill a quality of integrity in them. For example, if my almost 7-year-old says that she will clean her room after school, I make sure that when she gets home from school that is the first thing that she does. I make her tell her friends that she can't play because she has to clean first. And when I catch her lying I have a discussion with her about why she shouldn't lie.

I might as well let ‘someone’ off the hook but never my own child. Responsible behavior, keeping promises, discipline and planning are some of the vital habits that make or break a person’s future and character and standing in the world…and as parents we have to start it at home…if required, inculcate it by being adamant and strict about it. As adults if we are irked by people who don’t keep their promises and if we really wish that people were more responsible to us, we too must foresee the future when our own children will grow up and be a part of the world…what you did to your son was very very correct. Its not whether your friend could or could not have been stranded or how serious her need was…you son made a promise to her and he has to keep it! And also kids need to understand that in life they cant always just nod their heads in agreement and just walk away…you have to weigh a situation and then say Yes or No!

Of course you did the right thing! Next time he will make sure that he thinks this through before agreeing to make a commitment. do you let him down? NO. He must learn to that he can be considered reliable. This lesson should be taught now before they really face the adult world of work. Hi swanting to habg out with friends when he had made a commitment is worse thsn rude. good for you.Excellent parenting

I definitely agree with you making him honor his word. That is the only way that children understand that they should do what they say they are going to do and if they aren't sure they want to do something then they should keep quiet. I believe that 99% of people in society have no integrity, but I am raising my children to have some.

If someone makes a promise I make them keep it because it is a life lesson that needs to be learn t. I was at a seminar that taught that "your word is LAW"and how you do anything is how you do everything. So if you cant keep your promise in one situation then you wont be able to keep it in any situation. And if its someone close to you I dont think you want to see them learn the wrong lessons in life.

I think that you did the right thing in making your son keep his word. A person is only as good as his word. When committing to do something They are saying that they are being responsible and if they don't keep their word they are letting not only them selves down but those that they made the commitment to. It is always more fun to hang out with friends but still commitments should always come first. I admire you for making him follow through.

I would have made him go - no excuses. I never encouraged my children to make promises. I wanted to impress on them the seriousness involved and the ramifications of broken promises. When they made a promise, it was their word; their integrity; their character; their whole being. If, as in this case, a promise was made to babysit, this would be written on the calendar (or a notice on the bedside table or whatever form is used in the home). He would be reminded the previous day or that morning - and he WOULD be there.

I wouldn't force anybody to keep a promise, I would simply tell them the consequences of persistent broken promises - that a person who breaks promises would get a reputation of being unreliable and untrustworthy, and could even end up without friends or acquaintances who would avoid them. - Derek

You did the right thing mommyboo in making your son fulfill his promise and commitment. Maybe since I'm such a stickler for keeping promises, I hate it when anyone breaks there promises to me. Unfortunately it was a total lost cause with my mother who often promised to help out with things and kept breaking her promises. After awhile I just plain gave up on her since I knew anything she promised to me would be broken---lets just say our relationship was stormy

Hey mommyboo! I can't for the life of me imagine that anyone would have the never or balls to disagree with you! When someone makes a committment like that to babysit it is important that they show the maturity and follow through! I babysat from the time that I was maybe 11 or so years old and I always followed through unless I was really sick and would get the children sick! I babysat all through my teen years and always had 3 or more steady jobs! I never had a weekend free! I was reliable and on time and responsible and was known for being that way so I always had more jobs than I knew what to do with! You definitely made the right decision by making sure that your son followed through on his committment! Either he learned his leason not to volunteer again or he learned that he has to do what is right no matter what! Either way I do think that you got your point across and Bravo for you Mommyboo!!!

I would have insisted that he follow through on his commitment. Then I would have had a loooong talk with him about why it is important that he not make a commitment if he doesn't plan on following through. Then I would be sure to say "I forgot" that I had promised to do something for him that he considered important & then asked him how it felt when I didn't follow through. I'm sure his friends were tempting him to break his commitment, but he needs to learn what commitment means!!! I think you did EXACTLY right to force him to do what he said he would do. You might suggest that since his memory is so scattered, that he use the calendar option on his cell phone to plan his day. It's good to see a Mom who is doing her best to teach her child responsibility!!! My hat is off to you!!!!!!

Of course there are promises that children should be made to keep, or else they can grow up to be selfish and not worry about the consequences their actions have on others. I think you did the right thing. My parents were like that. If I said I would go help someone clean their yard and then didn't want to when it came time to do it, they would make me. Once you grow up you realize the importance of keeping your word and sticking to things you committed to, even if it sucks when you are actually a kid having to do it! lol So I guess in retrospect I am thankful my parents were like that. Being upset for one afternoon is better than being selfish my whole life. I recently (well it was like 1-2 monts ago) let a woman who came to pick something up at my house take some terra cotta planters that I was selling. She didn't have any money (she was picking up something for free), she said she would write my info down and send me a check. I am kind and I try to trust people, even strangers (to a certain extent) so I let her take some. She did write me the check but she wrote the wrong name on it, I sent it back, and now I am still waiting for her to send me the new one. I understand times are hard, but I write her and remind her that I trusted her in letting her take the pots without paying, and that it is her fault she wrote the wrong name on the check, so she keeps saying she will pay. If I let someone borrow money I expect them to pay me back. I don't care if it is 4 years later. I always pay people back. So certain promises, yes children, and people in general, should be held to them. Obviously some are not realistic all the time, as my brother promised my mum he would live with her until he was 50 to take care of her! lol He's almost 18 now and we hardly see him, so that isn't really a promise she is going to to hold him to! =P But yes, I think you did the right thing. There's a middle ground in parenting where you don't want to be too strict, but you can't let everything slip.

Nope, but I would constantly reminded them about it. They should have a good reason why their promise was not met. I could also make some re-assessment if the thing they promised cannot be met and make some compromise to it. Say, if they promised to have a 95% average grades in their subjects, I would make it down to 92% just to make sure that they would not be pressured about it.

I would make him go, period.

What you did was right, and I won't allow my kids to make fake promises like that. That is how he/she gonna live the life like that. If I promised someone to do something, I would do my best to follow it through. If I can't make that promise, just go ahead and tell him/her you can't make any promise at all. To be honest, and don't give people some hope to wait for.