Am I being Unreasonable in Refusing My Ex's Family into My House?

I do not think you are unreasonable. H should have taken everything when he came with the cops. If he felt he had to bring the cops that time let him bring them the second time.

Well I think he should respect the fact that you do not want them there, he should bring a Friend or someone to help him and I think you should have someone there from your Family or a Friend to support you on all of this

Absolutely not! I would NOT have anybody in my house that will not speak to me and nor should you! I don't care what the reason of them being there, no way would I let them inside my home! Besides, you don't know what they might do to you. That's like a gang up type of thing and I would not any part of it. I applaud you for standing your ground in this. What two faced butt heads these people are! Now if they'd give you the time of day to explain your side, providing you'd even want to, then maybe I'd let them in but since they won't, hell no!! I would not let them inside my home, especially with me there alone. Oh hell no!!

They were your own family for however long you knew your husband before marriage, and after marriage. I think that your ex husband should respect that you do not want any more emotional damage and that you would prefer that his family did not help him, maybe asking if he can have his friends help instead, or if nothing else offering him other people to help him that you know. It's not fair that he is bringing people around you that you at one time felt so dearly about, and now are devastated to know they have believed your husband without any inkling of asking about your opinion or your side of the story.

well i think it comes down to how much do you want your ex's stuff out of there? i mean yeah i know EXACTLY what you mean about inlaws that hate you (got some myself) and they are not allowed in my home but if i was breaking up with hubby and i lets say hated him (i havent read your other post due to time so i dont know if you hate him or not but just saying) i would not want them in my house HOWEVER if that meant it was over and he would stop coming by and i would be done with him forever i think i might make an exception! but otherwise i wouldnt let them in.. if he has other people that could help and he is just being a jerk in choosing his family then refuse and try to arrange some neutral people maybe to help.. mostly comes down to how much do you want him gone and done with? if you want him gone bad then a few hours of misery for a quicker start at a future of happiness may be worth it

The question is: how else will he get those things out of your house? If you can come up with helpers for him, then I would let him know that and that you would prefer his family members to stay away. But if you can't provide him others to help him, then it's not fair to him to have to do it alone. The faster he get the things out, the better off you will be. So, maybe it will be awkard for a couple of hours, but I am sure you can muster up some guts and bear with it for a little while. Then you won't have to deal with them ever again.

Personally I would think he should respect your wishes, or if this is going to have to happen this way, then make sure you are treated with Respect since it is your House, and also have Cops standing by if need be. I know many times situations like this can be quite difficult and it is Sorry to hear things like this happened to you. But I do Wish you the Best in this and know in time things will work out for the Best.

You are not being unreasonable at all. My boyfriend's mother was in similar situation to yours, and what she did was she had her friend, my boyfriend, me, and another friend help her move her things out. We did it all under the radar because her husband is insane. He's even threatened to kill people. It is so bad that we are eventually going to have to move out of state. Here is my advice, because you want him and his things gone, allow one or two family members to help him get his things out, because he is gone. He is now your ex, and you want him and his things out of your life. They are never going to be friendly because they do see you as the enemy even if they don't know the whole story, or know that you are not the enemy. My boyfriend's father's family see his mother as the enemy now, and they see her as the cause and problems for his actions. We know this not to be true, but you have to remember the old saying that "blood is thicker than water". Meaning his family will stick up for him no matter what. He could be Saddam Hussein, and his family will stand behind him because these people don't want to see the person that he really is. If it makes you feel any better, tell him to have the police with him, this will insure that he does not do anything stupid, that goes for the one or two family members as well, because you want this man gone, remember this. Again, the two of you are now ex's. Whatever the reasons may be, you are EX'S! Even if you were once okay with his family, you know that it will not be that way any longer. This is how things are. This will be my boyfriend's first Christmas where his mom and dad live in two separate apartments. This will be his first Christmas where he will spend one to two hours with his father, and then high tail it out of there. He cannot be around his father for too long with problems arising. My boyfriend wishes it were not this way, but he knows it is. His father wanted it this way. He wanted it this why when he threatened to kill people and he when decided to abuse people. You know how it is, clearly, you know how it is. Just let him get all of his things, and get him out of your life. You are so much stronger, you are so much better, and you are so much more of a better person than your Ex is. You would be amazed as to how women and men on this website have been in your situations or similar situations. Just about everyone on here have been victims of abuse of some kind. They will all tell you that your Ex has to be out of you life for good because he will do nothing, but drag you down. Again, just let him get his things and leave. That is all you have to do. Now, do you have any friends or family that you can talk to? I am sure you must. If you want to. You can also have them, your family and friends, help your husband get his things out of your place. You can work things out that way. jennybianca, you are a very smart women, you are intelligent, you know this situation is bad, you know that you have to get him out of your life, do what you have to do, and turn to the people who will be there for you.

Yes I kind of do think you are being unreasonable. It would also give your ex something to use against you in any later dealings. It seems they cannot hurt you anymore than they have already done. I would take the opportunity of giving back some of their own medicine by showing a cold and unfriendly reaction to them. If I were you I would have a couple of my friends there and make it obvious that you and your friends are watching them all very carefully to make sure they do not take/steal anything that does not belong to your ex.

i'd put all his stuff in one room and lock the rest. they do sound like jerks,but i'd see this as one of the last times i'd have to deal with them.

I did that, let my ex's family come into the garage to get some tools that belonged to my ex and his dad. A lot more than just tools disappeared that day. These people didn't like you before, why would they be respectful of you or anything in your house? Can you watch all of these people at one time? If your ex is at all angry with the divorce, he isn't going to care what they say or do or what of yours might disappear. Unless you can get some of your own family and friends to be there when they come over to pick this stuff up, I wouldn't do it. He brought the police with him, and the police would have protected you as well, but who is going to protect you when he brings his friends and family? He should have brought a truck when he brought the police and got his stuff out then. My ex had one day that he set up during court to come get his stuff. He never showed up. I sent things with my kids to him that belonged to him, but I won't let him in to get anything else unless he wants to set up another court date to do it.

I would explain that they have not treated you kindly since they announcement of the divorce and that you do not feel comfortable having them around. I'm sure your ex is going to continue to be angry but he is your ex so I wouldnt worry about it, maybe it might be easier if you weren't there when they came that way you could avoid both them and him at the same time, if you dont trust him just to take what is his you could ask a friend or even the sheriff to monitor the situation.

Maybe it is a good idea if you let other people help instead of your ex's family. What you are feeling is totally understandable. They have not been very good family members, weren't day. The least they could have done is listen to you first, get your story before believing everything your husband said. Support from family and friends can be a good factor for a marriage to work successfully. In this case, it seemed that they are not interested to even lift a finger for your marriage. I can understand why you do not want them in your house.

by the relation with your husband, your husband's family member was your relatives but now the relation is broken, so they may stop talking with you. but its not would be loyal and gentle behavior, they did before. other hand, if you don't allow them to entry your home, your husband my bring some another people, who are not relatives, may labor or other unknown to you. because he need help to get and carry his goods from your home. anyway, i think you need to take it easy at the time being. wishing you good good luck.

hi,jennybianca. I believe you have full right to decide this problem in your owm house.no hosts are glad to treat rude guests.and I don't think it is proper for your ex husband to disturb your life like that.in additon,if his family are reasonable people they naturallly find it unsituable to go to your house to help your ex husband to carry stuff.after all,it is unnecessary for a man to ask some helpers to carry stuff for him,unless he means to embarrass you. above are my points... hope you have a nice day!