Do you always spend money on everyone else and none on you?

@jugsjugs (13046)
November 28, 2009 3:03pm CST
I do i spend all the money that i have on the house as well as on the children.I never tend to treat myself.If i get any extra money i spend that on everyone else even if i want something i always put them first.
4 people like this
36 responses
@SomeCowgirl (32273)
• United States
28 Nov 09
It is always great to put yourself last, it's rewarding in and of itself. I try to do this and tend to succeed for the most part but will not deny that in the past if people have asked if I want something I'll say yes!
2 people like this
@angelsmummy (1700)
28 Nov 09
You sound just like me. I keep getting told I need to be more selfish but I prefer to spend money on the kids and my partner and then the house, if by some slim chance there is any left over I might treat myself to a cheap pair of jeans or a cheap top and by cheap I mean a £6 pair of jeans and a £1-3 top!
@jillmalitz (5132)
• United States
3 Dec 09
Yes. For some reason I've always done that. Especially when my kids were little. I was always last on the list. I made sure everybody else was taken care of first.
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36636)
• United States
1 Dec 09
Since I've been a mother I've been exactly the same way that you are. Everyone else comes before myself. It's been a very long time since I have gone to the store to buy something new for myself and there are times that I really miss it. I'd love to have a new pair of jeans or a new sweater but then I think about the fact that the last time I bought something new for myself I was filled with guilt for it so I don't buy anything for myself. At least the positive in this is that it does fill me with great pleasure to see my children happy and fulfilled.
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17550)
• Canada
30 Nov 09
I used to be the same way. I always spend money for everyone else in the family, before thinking of myself. On the rare occasion that I do get to buy something for myself, I feel guilty because I am always thinking that I could have bought something for the kids instead. This year, I have been trying to change this. Even for just little things. I found have found that I have been treating myself to lunches. I used to bring packed lunch everyday. Now, if I don't get to bring anything at home, I treat myself to some burgers and fries. There is still guilt involved considering that I could have saved the money; and that I could have eaten healthy. I know this is a bit silly, but still I wish I don't feel the guilt.
1 person likes this
@jerzgirl (7805)
• Gloucester City, New Jersey
30 Nov 09
I do tend to spend on others before spending on myself - always have. While I love thinking of others, I wish I could put myself first once in a while without feeling guilty about leaving others out. It's not that I never do for myself, but it's more that I was raised in a way where I was considered selfish if I considered myself first. It has led to me going without something I really wanted because I couldn't bring myself to think of me once in a while. I don't advocate selfishness at all, but do think people should treat themselves the same way they treat others. That's been hard for me to do throughout my life.
• United States
30 Nov 09
All of my husband's paycheck from his part-time job goes towards bills and the very little I get from survey's goes towards Christmas. I had subbed once and that money will be used towards Christmas as well. With my husband's next paycheck we will be taking a little out so we can give ourselves a little Christmas this year. It will be hard to go see my parents since he cannot get time off from work and we can not afford it. Now that I cannot find work, I will be attending college to get my Master's in Psychology through the University of Phoenix online. SO maybe that money will help us a little. I think it is great that you want to spend the money on your kids. I know we had an extra 5.00 and bought a toy for the toys for tots drive. I know it is not much, but I figure it will brighten a child's day.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (114068)
• Boise, Idaho
30 Nov 09
For the most part I do. When I do break down and spend some money on myself I have guilty feelings. I am getting better and they aren't so bad as they used to be but it has been a while coming and something to get used to. It works the same way with the rest of my family too though. It is hard to change.
@Thoroughrob (11771)
• United States
29 Nov 09
I am very bad at doing that. We usually don't have extra and when I get a chance, I like to see them smile, so I buy for them before I treat me to something, even if I need it.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (90117)
• Marion, Kansas
29 Nov 09
Lots of moms do that. Someone needs to notice this and treat you to a big shopping spree, buying stuff for you since you will not do it yourself.
1 person likes this
• India
29 Nov 09
Hi jugsjugs,I used to spend money always on everyone else at home then i latter if anything is left out then i spend on me. I feel very happy spending on everyone at one. If any money is left out still i save it. Have a great day.
1 person likes this
@danitykane (3193)
• Philippines
28 Nov 09
hi jugs, I mostly spend my earnings on our house and family. I always see to it, that I bought the things we need at home. I rarely spend it for myself alone, unless there is something that I really need to buy which is quite expensive. I like sharing it to my family because I felt more happiness when I they appreciate what I do for them.
@drmt57 (295)
• United States
28 Nov 09
I have been spending all my money on everyone except me but that is going to change if I ever get any more. I spent all I had now they are spending theirs on themselves and I am without. My eyes are open
1 person likes this
@drannhh (15002)
• United States
28 Nov 09
It is a tendency that I fight tooth and nail. Sometimes we have to remember that whenever we acquire something it is good to give ourselves some percentage first. So sometimes when I buy something for somebody else instead of wrapping it I leave it out to look at a while and sometimes I decide I would rather keep it for myself and sometimes I do. But that does not work when you have kids in the house! I vividly remember how every birthday my mum bought me something she liked and then "shared" it with me. Grrrr! But you know something? I lived...
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29175)
• United States
28 Nov 09
Yes, I am like this too. If something is needed for the house or my kids, I will spend money on them first before I do for myself. They always seem to need something, so they get treated before I get treated.
1 person likes this
@eshaan (6193)
• India
10 Jan 10
most of the moms do that...as its their responsibility to look after the house and they think that their house and their children reflect their perfectness..so they keep spending on them...though i know that its necessary to give time and money to self also...i keep doing that..and some day i realize that i have not purchased a single dress for myself from so many days.....then i bring some together in anger ..yes but we should care for ourselves too...
@jugsjugs (13046)
10 Jan 10
This year i am planning on trying to earn alot more money as well as trying not to spend as much as that way there will be other things that i can get for my house as well as for the garden.In 6 years time i want to be mortgage free as well rather than having to wait another 11 years.
• Philippines
5 Dec 09
Yes I do. I spend all of my money to people I love and nothing will be left for me. They are more important to me than anyone else. I always on the last list. They ended up they have a new things but me I just use the old things I have. Although it sounds unfair, but I think I was born to do it. to make others happy and to forget my own happiness. I do treat myself Like i buy ice cream or chocolate for myself, I buy new ballpen. That is the only little happiness i can provide for myself.
@jugsjugs (13046)
10 Jan 10
I have always spent my money on everyone as well as everything else as well as it makes me so that i have no money left for me.It is rare that i ever spend any money on me as the way i feel is that as long as everyone else is happy that is ok with me.This year i am planning on earning more money as that way there will be a few more things that i can get for my house as well as for the garden.
• Canada
5 Dec 09
I spend money on others, but I make sure to spend on myself too, because if I don't keep myself happy, how can I keep others happy? my husband used to spend way too much on others, but not enough on himself. Then he met me, and I helped him get his priorities in order.
@vandana7 (57186)
• India
29 Nov 09
Hi jugsjugs, I am also like that. But I am reforming myself. I read somewhere that it is nice to pamper oneself once in a while, otherwise, there will be a lot of feeling of anger towards others. We sacrifice something, we expect acknowledgement for that. Therefore, if the person doesnt show such gratefulness, we start feeling, look I did sacrificed so much, but this person is not willing to do even this much for me. That is not very nice, is it? I think we shouldnt be left with a feeling of I sacrificed something for our family or children.
@lindiebiz (1014)
• Canada
29 Nov 09
It like that and its all about sacrifice, your children come first before you. Its stuff you endure for the next 20 yrs or more and remember you are not alone