Are you good at forgetting bad experiences you like to forget?

Hard to foget - How easy it would be if we are able to switch off the bad memories instantly.
By Bala
@balasri (26577)
India
February 26, 2010 9:30pm CST
Because the harder you try to forget the firmer they become and refuse to leave your memories. Is it easier for you to erase the things you want to forget?
6 people like this
19 responses
28 Feb 10
i just saw people die yesterday then i slept this day i dont remember anything
1 person likes this
@balasri (26577)
• India
28 Feb 10
That response should shake the conscience of everyone Irfan.You have explained our attitude of not caring about anything and lacking the concern for others very preciously and beautifully.
28 Feb 10
wah balasri your posts more than 9700
1 person likes this
@balasri (26577)
• India
28 Feb 10
I have been here for more than three years Irfan.This is a very cool place where I unwind myself.The numbers are happening by themselves.
• Australia
27 Feb 10
Bad experiences? I was abused in all four ways until I was 22 years old. I do not have even one happy memory from childhood. Do I remember them? Of course I do. Do I want to erase them? No! A bad memory that is erased is only erased to a certain level and can emerge again at any time. A bad memory that is faced and dealt with is defeated. It can be remembered without bad feelings, without harshness, grudges or ill will. Even though my abuse was very severe, I can now remember it all with thankfulness, because it helped to make me what I am today. Trying to forget bad experiences will not work. It might work for a short time, but will rise again in an even worse form. Take the sting out of the bad experience and it will no longer have the power to hurt.
@balasri (26577)
• India
28 Feb 10
I consider yours is the Best response.Way to go!
• Australia
3 Mar 10
Thank you balasri - much appreciated.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26577)
• India
3 Mar 10
My pleasure.
@yresh12 (3222)
• Philippines
27 Feb 10
It's not easy to forget something that you don't like. Sometimes, It could be an advantage for you or a hindrance for you to move on and make something beautiful. I think that every thing that we had gone through should not be forgotten because it molds us of who we are right now. Learning from our past experiences and make it right. As what they say.. EXPERIENCE is the BEST TEACHER
1 person likes this
@balasri (26577)
• India
27 Feb 10
Yes, as a quote on experience says“A man's errors are his portals of discovery.”
@yresh12 (3222)
• Philippines
28 Feb 10
Whhoooot. That quote is much nicer. I'll keep a note on that..hekhek
1 person likes this
@balasri (26577)
• India
2 Mar 10
It is one of my favorite.Thanks for the appreciation.
• Philippines
16 Mar 10
At first, it really is hard for me to forget bad memories, but as I grew up, I learned to just forget about it. I always think that life is too short to waste my time thinking about the bad happenings.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26577)
• India
16 Mar 10
Atta girl!That's the spirit.A great attitude.
• United States
4 Mar 10
my mind has elaborate defenses! it is easy for me to block out negative experiences my mind only lets me hold on to the good could be why I can never truly carry a grudge
1 person likes this
@balasri (26577)
• India
4 Mar 10
I know that you know how to live your life.I always do appreciate your devil may care attitude.No wonder I am happy conversing with you here.
@daliaj (5689)
• India
3 Mar 10
I am very poor at forgetting bad incidents, which really hurt me. I forgive quick, but forgetting takes many years for me. People have a tendancy to think about hurting incidents happened in life compared to the happy incidents. If you have 98 nice incidents and 2 hurting incidents, you will think about the hurting incidents more. I have a friend who decided not to go for any trips in her life becuase she had a horrible time in a trip. People take decisions like this, when they have a hurting incident.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26577)
• India
3 Mar 10
So true.
@ronaldinu (12456)
• Malta
2 Mar 10
I think that is how our mind works We tend to block bad experiences from our memory lane so that we can survive and continue living. It our spirit of survival. If we don't do that we are doomed to live our past. It continues to haunt us for all the days to come. So it is better if we but bad experiences on our shoulders and never look at them. It is a good thing to learn from them and not to repeat the same mistake.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26577)
• India
2 Mar 10
Someone said about forgetting the past.How true he is! “When I wanted to forget, it killed me to remember and when I wanted to remember, I had the good fortune to forget”
@lkbooi (16104)
• Malaysia
2 Mar 10
Hi balasri, when younger it was quite difficult for me to forget all those unhappy and bad experience especially those related to intimate relationship. The more I tried to shake it away the more firmly it stick in my mind Therefore most of the time I fell into the bottomless pit of agony easily unconsciously after encountering undesirable experience Might be during that younger period I tended to look thing on the dark side instead the bright. When age becoming more senior I always try to look thing on the bright. Yeah, I realize that we would be very philosophical about bad experience coming across if having positive thinking all the time. We won't be happy if indulging all those bad experience lingering in our mind ever now and then. Have a nice day
1 person likes this
@balasri (26577)
• India
3 Mar 10
A very positive way of dealing with those memories Ikbooi.
@paula27661 (15900)
• Australia
28 Feb 10
I wish I was! I am one of these people who tend to hang on to past events especially painful ones like broken hearts and embarrassing experiences. When it comes to matter of the heart, for example, I usually get over the person in reasonable time but tend to hang on to the pain and the negative effect it had on my self esteem. My counsellor is helping deal with those events and see them for what they were, put them behind me with the knowledge that I am worthy person just because I exist. I have a way to go...
1 person likes this
@balasri (26577)
• India
28 Feb 10
Well I am happy anyway that you got a person to help you to come over those bitter memories.
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12096)
• India
28 Feb 10
Yes, I am. Of course, I brood over the bad experience for a few months or so and then get it out of my system...forget it even happened. I'm so good at it that sometimes I'm surprised when someone reminds me about it years later. I don't associate anything that happens to me in the present to something that happened in the past...could be because I've forgotten about it.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26577)
• India
28 Feb 10
That is a great attitude Sandhya.Being able to forget the rubbish without wallowing in it is the best thing to do as brooding over the past bad experiences won't get us anywhere.It is a nice thing to learn from our mistakes and forgetting them.
@cyberfluf (5007)
• Netherlands
27 Feb 10
In psychology classes we were thought that bad experiences and bad memories had the nasty tendency to stick around longer than good memories. I am not sure why, perhaps because sometimes these bad experiences can teach you a life saving lesson and therefore nature doesn't want us to forget? However, fear can also paralize us which isn't good either. I am not so good to forget personal affairs that bother me, but I can seperate work and private so if you call that good I guess I am getting quite good at it .
@balasri (26577)
• India
2 Mar 10
Happy to know that.I tend to forget the past bad memories and try to live the present very happily with a light heart.My wife often wonders how I could do that ,forgetting certain bitter incidents.I am a kind of person who tend to revel in the happy moments alone of the past and present. I do not try to do that.Thankfully I am made that way.
@Mirita (2668)
• United States
27 Feb 10
When there is an unfinished business is hard to try to put memories behind. The best thing to do is to confront and tell people how you feel about them even if is negative and this way you can forget and move on with your life.
@balasri (26577)
• India
2 Mar 10
That sounds good Mirita.
@icesmile (7172)
• Romania
27 Feb 10
Hi, is very curious, people easily forget the happy moments, good moments, but they can never forget the unhappy moments that mark our all lives , it's easy to say, "you have to forgrt and move on". Is very difficult, it seems that memory affective, detained more difficult moments of our lives easier, but it may thirst better, because you do not repeat what was wrong in the past.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26577)
• India
2 Mar 10
Though the bitter past leave a scar that you can always as you stroke your memories it is better to get over with it as it is not going to help you in any way.Once bitten twice shy is fine.No use in getting bitten forever.
@wolfie34 (26896)
• United Kingdom
27 Feb 10
I wish I was but a lot of bad experiences are ingrained on my memory like a broken gramophone record, they play over and over and over again, it's more about the regrets I have and the stupid decisions I made and the repurcussions. I still have a very bad experience of being with my ex and giving up my beautiful flat. I wish I could snap my fingers and my past is deleted, I can't help letting the past control my future, I am ashamed to say that I am fully of suppressed anger and hatred and I am the shadow of my former self. If I am not careful I am going to end up a sad, bitter, lonely old man if I am not that already. Ho hum....
@balasri (26577)
• India
27 Feb 10
I know Wolfie,And I know that you have managed to cope up with those whatever bad memories and has collected yourself to the full.You are a brave man Wolfie who definitely know that lingering on the past is the most useless thing.Cheers.
• Brazil
27 Feb 10
Like the guy above me said, bad memories stick to your mind and come at the most inoportune times. The thing is that you have to accept and live with these memories, cherishing the bad moments not as failures but as learning experiences.
@balasri (26577)
• India
27 Feb 10
Yeah.But it seems that we never stop learning.
@zandi458 (27893)
• Malaysia
27 Feb 10
Bad memories seemed to be glued permanently in my memory. Like a case of a broken heart with my first love. Until this day I still think of him and eversince that day of our breakup there is no longer any contact with him but memory of him still lingers on. Good memories seem to fade easily with the passage of time as if it has never happened in life. Maybe the pain inflicted was too much to bear that it left a permanent scare in the heart.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26577)
• India
27 Feb 10
You are right Zandi.The bad memories leave us with a scar so thick on which we stumble upon many a times in our life's journey.The only solace is the helping hands of the pleasant memories which pick us up and lead us forward in the journey.
• India
27 Feb 10
It takes time for some and while others cant get past it...
@balasri (26577)
• India
28 Feb 10
So true.
• United States
27 Feb 10
I have tried to forget about some bad experiences. I haven't been successful, but I don't dwell on them. Last November I ran over a child on a bicycle. I never saw him. Weeks afterward I could still hear his screams and the crunch of metal under my car. The accident was not my fault. A witness told the police that he had been traveling the same way I was, then suddenly changed his direction -- right in front of me. Thank goodness I had just started going after a stop sign or it could've been much worse. My insurance covered it. Anyway, the facilitator of a support group I'm in was tremendously helpful to me. She treated my haunting memories of the accident by using EMDR. It's a little like hypnosis but different. After one session I was cured of constantly hearing the accident replayed in my mind. I still think about it, and constantly have to drive at the location since it's only a couple blocks from where I live. So...I'll probably never forget it, yet I do have peace, and have become super-vigilent when I stop, looking up the sidewalks as well as other cars.
@balasri (26577)
• India
27 Feb 10
I am happy that you came out of that trauma.It looks like not your fault as you have explained things.Anyway these kinds of freak accidents tend to occur in all our lives.Life keep going.
@bjcyrix (6859)
• Philippines
26 Mar 10
Nope, Im quite the opposite of forgetting. The thing with me is: I want to remember them. Im good with remembering details especially those events that I am a part of. I just have this knack for details and I also do want to remember them. It's my way of preserving the memories good and bad. Even though the event is a negative one, I would still want to remember them because I surely wouldnt want that to happen again, right? I would often wish to move on or get past a negative experience rather than forget them so what happens in my case is that with all the remembering and moving on from it, I would just gradually put it behind me. I may seem to forget it but I dont think so, I just need a bit of reminder and everything that came from that experience will also be remembered.