I think I have reached my limit!

Oh, I know how you feel dear, I am like that too. I always let the happiness of my loved ones first before my own, but there are just times when I definitely could say 'enough is enough!'. It's not easy to always make them happy, most especially if it's on my behalf. But I guess that's how we as 'women' are. We tend to let the happiness of our man be the first. Hehehe.. I guess you've reached your limit, I have gone through such too when I was too tired of pleasing everyone and when I did declare that enough is enough! They all seemed to understand and just let me be. As for him making his own happiness. I could remember someone very dear to my heart telling me that happiness should not be from other people, it should start from you own heart. If you can learn to be happy by yourself, then you could well be happy with others as well. Good luck!

I used to be the one who always pleased others. Then one day I woke up. It's not always about everyone else being happy but about being happy yourself and with that comes others happiness. If their happiness is at YOUR expense, then it's just NOT right, period! I am honestly the happiest I've ever been right now and it's all because I've made a very conscious decision to do what I want and not always what OTHERS want. Loving yourself is a must before anyone else can love you and I believe the same applies with happiness.... being happy yourself is a must before you can truly make others happy.

H**l no but iwould do things to make people laugh didnt have to work on any one to be happy as I smile they smile!

yep its not worth it.. i mean i dont go around wanting to like upset people but i try to make everyone happy or at least happy with me (with out me having to be some one else.. i would never do that) and thats stressful enough but to really try to make everyone happy all around?! nope not even gonna try!! it took me a long time to realize that some people are just never gonna be happy and that some people are always going to hate me for no reason and i just gotta care about what i care about and no one else

Other's happiness is beyond my control, especially adults, I can only make myself happy. This does not mean that I cannot contribute to others lives with concern,kindness and thoughtfullness.

I usally did, but i also have put my foot down. I may not be the most important person in the world, but i have feelings to. And to always satisfy everybody is not my idea of fun anymore. TATA.

well sometimes I like that . the only source of my happiness is when my family is happy. I know I will reach the point that I had enough and I will be thinking of myself more but now i can still endure the pain that sometimes my family is happen and I am crying inside because certain things is not approved on me, like I have to sacrifice even my own happiness for them just to make them happy. That is what I am doing right now. There are certain things that have ending and just like yours you had reach your limit.

not anymore.i snapped a few years ago on that one. the more you do,the more you are expected to do,y'know. the lack of gratitude i got for helping people was just astonishing.

I'm at the same point as you are, dloveli. I have always put my man's and my kids happiness above my own. I guess you just caught me at a time when this discussion is relevant to me. My 16 yr old has lately been having this attitude where she for some reason has been taking for granted all that I do for her. She has been getting short with me whenever things don't work as she hoped and talking to me with the attitude in her tone of voice seems like constantly. Well today I just let her know that I'd had enough. Yes, I'd still continue doing things for her because I love her but let her know that it was not a pleasure doing things for her with that attitude. She said, "Your my mom and that's what mom's do for their kids, geez." I said, "ya well look around you. Not ALL mom's do these things for their kids. A little kindness in return would make us living together a whole lot more pleasant and it won't hurt her. She actually appologized to me. Usually she gets defensive. I lived with a man like yours. He had what I call "gilligan's syndrome which was like peter pan syndrome...same thing. not fun!

I used to be the same way as you...always wanting everyone to be happy even before myself. However, that didn't work for me anymore when my parents told me I shouldn't marry my fiance. I wanted them to be happy, too, but I got to the point where you described in this discussion...I had ENOUGH! I married him anyway because I knew it was the right thing to do, and I knew I would be happy - and I am. I won't let people walk all over me. I'm not rude, but I also don't want people to think they can have whatever they want at the expense of my happiness. I definitely understand how you feel, my friend! Great discussion.

I do worry that things I say or do may make somebody unhappy. But sometimes you have to be honest and true to yourself and find a way to say it anyway. My guy needs to make his own happiness too and he's too totally wrapped up in me...

I love it when others are happy. When I can, I try and help people be happy. But never to the point that I'm unhappy. There has to be a balance in everything.

hi! you are just the same with my sister, she always thinks others before herself. even though she was already cheated by someone important to her, she always sees to it not to hurt them. for me, that's a good one kind of attitude but if they abuse you even more then it's time for you to give them a lesson. then a No is a No.. Yes is a Yes..

well,it may be better,when you will alow your man to grow up!and then when he is on his own feets unite,or tell him directly why you are irritated!it may prove better for you!

This sounds only too formiliar. I allways try to make everyone happy before I think of my own needs and happiness, but sometimes people will go to far or seem to never be satisfied no matter how hard you try. The only thing you can do is stand up to it and speak your mind. I try to do so now at the time when I am actually bothered but not yet totally freaked by everything so I can talk about it more serenely. It can be a task though, as I really don't want to make anyone else unhappy.

I did try to please everyone most of the time, for a long long time. I go along that way and then suddenly fall apart and do some pretty contrary things. I also often find that if I am unhappy outside my homelife, nothing in my homelife seems to go right either. It makes even little things become big problems. Yes, I do declare myself to be on a rampage occasionally and I tell people that I intend to have my way for a change. It is going to happen again soon about a certain topic or two. On the other hand, when I am getting my way on some things, I can give in on a few myself.

I think moms are always trying to make everyone happy. Do you find that true? I think about my own mom, and how even when we were kids, she wanted to make sure everyone was happy. Smallest piece of chicken - she'd take that one. It went from something small like that, to much bigger things. Let's be real, moms sacrifice a heck of a lot for their children and husbands/partners, and they get very little support and gratitiude in return. My parents have been married 34 years. It's only been in the last ten years that I've really seen my dad change his ways with my mom. Over the last ten years I've seen him do everything he could to let her know how much he not only loves her, but appreciates her. I'd say that it was about time. lol My dad was never bad to her, but he certainly did take her for granted.

dloveli I sometimes think this is programmed into us women, make every one else happy first, after all you are a wife or wife and mom,but I finally learned that I have to make me happy first in order to be' able to make anyone else happy. Even my own husband said we cannot make you happy,you have to make yourself happy, think of yourself this way, love yourself so that you are able to give that love to other people. Even Christ taught that in order to love others you must first love yourself, meaning you must have self esteem in order to make others feel loved by you.

My hat is off to you my dear! The realization is really rather easy compared to how hard it is to be consistant and make sure you are respected and considered. Believe I know! Been there done that! Especially when it is family or close, long time friends. I even feel guilty when I go spend money on myself and then we need money later.My (expert) advice to you: This is a common problem and you need to take some time and think over what you need, expect and want from those around you. Then hold a meeting or find a time you can express to them what you expect and then stand by what you have said. Good luck! It even sounds rather easy. Hehehe

I have to admit I'm a bit guilty of that myself. Putting others (mostly my man's) happyness before my own. It cuts down on the fighting, fighting I can't take. Physical force aside of course too. Though online I'm a lot more aseritive and brave. I don't let people walk all over me and often don't care what other people think.