My 3 Year Old Son Said The "N" Word Today...
By singlemommy
@singlemommy (2955)
United States
May 16, 2010 1:54pm CST
To my surprise this morning, my 9 year old daughter and my 3 year old son were playing. My 3 year old son(who I might add is biracial) called my daughter the "N" word. I told him that it wasn't a nice word to call people and I asked where he had heard it, but being 3, he wouldn't tell me where he had heard it. I'm not sure if there is someone that he has been around that has said it, or called him it or what the deal is but I really hate that people have to use such words to put others down or make fun of them. To me, it is a word of anger, one that is said without any thought. I really hate that word, I don't care who says it or who they are saying it to. Have your kids ever said words like this and you have no idea where they heard it from?
3 people like this
24 responses
@karen1969 (1779)
•
17 May 10
There are nasty racist people around and kids pick up on lots of words they shouldn't hear. Just be consistent and say it is a bad word each time he uses it, that it is a word filled with hate and upsets people if you use it. I have had this before with my youngest & her eldest half-sister is mixed race too.
@TheCatLady (4691)
• Israel
21 May 10
When we were kids, that was one word no one was allowed to say. It was so deeply ingrained in us not to say it, I still wouldn't use it today. There were a lot of other "bad" words we were told not to use, but somehow the N word was at the top of the list and in a category all it's own.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
19 May 10
Hi, singlemommy. I am sorry to hear this. I wonder if your child could have picked this term off of the T.V. Or maybe he heard someone say this term somewhere. It is not an acceptable word. I would inform your son of this. To me this is like a hate word. And I would be mad if anyone of my kids used this word around their siblings or other people. Does is an very offensive word and many people have been shattered emotionally from having this word used. I am sure that your child just happened to pick this word up from hearing someone else say it.
1 person likes this
@walijo2008 (4644)
• United States
18 May 10
There's no telling where kids hear things, they probably hear things from other kids at school. I don't like that word either, and I don't like hearing people calling each other that, I think its rude too. I don't have kids but I do have several nephews, sometimes they'll say something that makes you wonder where in the world they heard it, especially the younger ones, I have one that is 5, and there's no telling what's going to come out of his mouth next.
1 person likes this
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
18 May 10
my 3 year old son has a lot of moves and acts and words that you cannot believe doing and coming from a 3 year old kid. we suspect he has ADHD which i guess is related with his sleep apnea for some sort. but the acts and the words, i can say was influenced by the movies he watches on TV. i can say that TV is really a great influence to kids of this age.
1 person likes this
@birdlady41465 (223)
• United States
17 May 10
Yes kids are repeaters so someone has said it in front of them or even to them. Not right to teach hate or name calling but it happens. I try and teach my children to respect and love each other as if we all are one color gender and family. Well at least until someone hurts them then all bets are off. I know my children are leaving the nest and they have seen so much of the hate out there that one has even come home to get away from it and they are white to look at but really have Indian and other races running through there blood. My oldest has really curly hair and gets called Afro Joe a lot and 4eyes. It is not fair or even right.
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
17 May 10
He has heard it somewhere. They pick up on things easily. I would just make sure that he knows that it is not a nice word and we don't say those things. My son has, he said the b word. I asked him where he heard it and he told us, from grandma. I was horrified. After we told him that, I never heard it again.
1 person likes this
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
17 May 10
My son came home from daycare when he was about 5 and he used that word, but only to tell me that the daycare lady's son got in trouble for saying it and asked me what it meant. He has not said it since. My daughter has spit out a few cuss words, but I know where she heard those from.
1 person likes this
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
17 May 10
neither of my ever said that word or they wouldnt be playing for the rest of the day, they have said other words which they werent allow to play.
but yeah its sad people still use that word or specaily use it in front of kids. it teaching them wrong
1 person likes this
@renitaperrone (547)
• United States
17 May 10
Well, the good news is that he is 3 and therefore, can't possibly understand the meaning of the word. It has given you a good opportunity to explain to him why it is NOT acceptable. It also gives you the opportunity to be more aware of who he is around and who is saying what. Obviously he's heard it somewhere...now to try to find out where. Could be he just overheard it in a store or something. What I've never understood is that, as a white person, if I ever called a black person that, I would be thought of as racist, mean, horrible, etc. But why do I hear so many black people calling other black people that, and that's OK??? Doesn't make sense to me.
1 person likes this
@savypat (20216)
• United States
17 May 10
I wish I could give you advise on this. There are so many bad words used today, I think that I would ask him what the word means? He may very well had no idea what the word means and has only seen how people react to it. If he does know then
ask him why he used it and what he hoped would happen when he did? If you can somehow make him more aware of words and their power without giving him a weapon
then you will have done a good thing. Blessings
1 person likes this
@daliaj (5674)
• India
17 May 10
That is sad. We should be careful while talking infront of little kids. Kids in this age grasp a lot of things. They think that what the elders do is correct and try to imitate that. So, we must be very careful especialy during the days of character formation of children. I have seen parents laughing when children use bad words. It is an encouragement for children. The way you handled the situation is good. It is not advisable to punish the child in this case.
@1anurag1 (3576)
• India
17 May 10
i think we are living in civilized society but still some people are not like us. They are uncivilized. And they don’t want to see the generation mannered and civilized. They just do bad things for their fun only. But they don’t care what effect this will have on other. Whatever we can do is to educate our children and to choose them what is good and what is bad.
1 person likes this
@oldchem1 (8132)
•
17 May 10
Children are picking up so many bad words all the time at school - even pre school.
I remember when my son was in hospital and I stayed with him, there was a child of under two in a nearby bed and his language was awful - he knew more swear words than I did!!
I think as parents we just have to try to make our children understand not to use these words and explain how much they can hurt other people.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157915)
• United States
17 May 10
When my kids began hanging out with other kids, that is when they developed habits, words and attitudes I did not like. It is hard to avoid. If you have a big reaction to any word, your son will use it more, to get a reaction from you. What I would tell him is that a word is not really anything, but how people feel about a word is a big thing. That word makes lots of people feel bad, so he should not use it, because it is not good to make other people feel bad.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (160064)
• Boise, Idaho
17 May 10
How terrible! I bet he heard some kid say it. I hate the word too! It should be outlawed. My grandson went through a time when he was about that same age that he swore alot. He grew out of it. It is a word of anger but kids go through a stage of pushing buttons and checking out what works and what doesn't.
1 person likes this
@smartie0317 (1610)
• United States
17 May 10
As a teacher, I hear students say this type of thing all the time. Usually, I think it's the parents. As you've shown, it's not allways that way. I think it might be as you say the community. Or maybe even the shows you watch. On the radio you hear it a lot.
1 person likes this
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
17 May 10
Well your son heard someone say it. They copy everything they hear at that age. My girls who are grown now are biracial too and I have never heard them use that word. For me its the ugliest word in the english language along with the F word in my opinion. I don't like to hear anyone say it either in anger or has a friend, like some guys do. I just wish people would let the word go disappear from the english language for good.
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
17 May 10
Oh my gosh, that is one word that I never want to hear my children say and it is a word that really isn't a part of my vocabulary. I absolutely hate that word. There are times that my children will pop up with something that I have no clue where they got it from and most of the time they are honest with me and tell me where the learned the word and I explain to them that they are never to use it again. And, this works with my three year old for the most part. I think that there are times that a child can inadvertantly hear something when you are in public that will come home with them.
1 person likes this
