Do you know someone like this?

United States
July 9, 2010 7:38pm CST
My mother in law always complains about EVERYTHING! I mean everything. She complains if it rains, she complains if she doesn't like what your wearing, she complains if you look at her the wrong way. My father in law was on his death bed and he asked her for a drink, she told him to get off his butt and do it himself!! She was complaining to everyone else about how lazy he was, he was on oxygen and in really bad shape. I wanted to cry, I felt so bad for him! Do you know someone like this? Does it bring your mood down when your around them? Have you ever told them to think about the Blessings in their life and stop complaining? How do you tell them in a nice way? Thoughts please =)
3 people like this
13 responses
@GardenGerty (96659)
• Marion, Kansas
10 Jul 10
Whether you tell them in a nice way or not, they are not going to listen. I talked on the phone with someone like that this morning. Not good. Even worse, after talking to her, I was mean and tense and hateful to those around me. It is like a virus. Keep your kind personality, and maybe try to imagine what has made her this way. I actually think, though, that it is a bad habit. I do try to talk about positive things and do what I can in the situation, but it does not always work.
2 people like this
• United States
10 Jul 10
It makes me in a bad mood too just listening to her sometimes. I have to keep telling myself to just ignore it. I try to talk about nice things and good things about other people but it doesn't usually work either. It's terrible and I hope I am NEVER like that! =)
2 people like this
@Hatley (164755)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Jul 10
lilangel I have wondered with this Alice at our table. she says our place is not spiritual but is it Christian and spiritual to complain not stop when she has only been here a short time.As for spiritual she doesn't even know that a lot of our residents are Christians and very good people. And judging others unseen sure is not Christian to me.she has got me being nasty and bit@hy too and I hate that. I am usually good tempered and easy going.
• Australia
10 Jul 10
My father's wife is like that. She complains all the time. My dad was sick in hospital and she complained that she had to ring me and let me know, then she complained when I drove for 10 hours to come and see him. She complained again when I went out of my way to see her and keep my sick dad happy. She said that I was only visiting her because my dad, who was still in hospital, told me to. That was when I told her she was right and that my dad was probably in hospital because of her and her complaining. Well as you can guess that did not go down well, so I guess I was not very nice about it but sometimes there is no way to be nice to people like that and the only way to deal with it is to just be honest. Lets face it people like that are usually too self centered to understand any critisism said nicely.
2 people like this
• United States
10 Jul 10
I am sure that did not go over too well at all! I agree, it's hard to be nice to people that act this way. All I ever want to tell her is do you have anything good to say about anything? OR weren't you ever taught, if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all? I mean I learned that in Kindergarten, maybe even before that!! Thanks for the response =)
2 people like this
@Hatley (164755)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Jul 10
and how about having to listen to nonstop complaining while you are trying to eat , and not being able to sit someplace else.It makes my tummy knot up.
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
10 Jul 10
What a drag!!! I work in a unionized manufacturing plant. I can say that there are a few people on the floor who are like that. As if having a job is not enough. They have to complain about everything else. We keep butting heads to get jobs done. Unfortunately, they are high up in seniority that's why they feel they are untouchables.
2 people like this
• United States
10 Jul 10
Thanks for your response =) I bet it's hard to work with these people every day! =)
1 person likes this
@funorb12 (459)
• United States
10 Jul 10
Yes brother! Or um...sister? Amen to you! I have a mother who is like that. She is very close-minded on things. She is what you call the gossip queen. She'll gossip about anything. Also, everything that happens, she'll repetitively scream the same thing over and over again. She'll complain and moan over and over and over! I get tired after hearing it the first time. She once complained about something about 300 times the same day! She complained to me, my brother, my sister, my friends, her friends, my sisters friend, my dad, my grandmother, you name it. My mother is a headache! Ughh!!!
2 people like this
• United States
10 Jul 10
That's how my mother in law is! She is always complaining and gossiping. She will even complain about my husband to me... Hello? This is your son your talking about to his wife. She doesn't seem to care at all. As long as she is complaining and gossiping she is happy. I don't understand how that makes anyone happy! =)
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164755)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Jul 10
oh my goodness yes, lilangelspreschool oh yes indeed. I am in a retirement center for the time being.okay we are seated four p eople' to a table in the dining room, and our seats are assigned to us, so 'damn no way for me to move to a different table. So two miserable'long days ago the empty four seat was given to this Alice. I have been so upset with t he woman I did not even remember her last name. the first day, she goes,"when do we get served, ive waited long enough, thats white bread, I only eat whole wheat, I dont like ham, no I do not like macaroni. Why have we not got a salad. we are supposed to have salad with our meals. " this was the first time we ever met her. We just sat there wondering if she was ever going to stop complaining.Then she started in on the beverages.she asked my table mate "why do you have fruit juice? I want fruit juice,anyone going to bring me fruit juice?" She came a half hour late and all the beverages had already been served.We are all asked to come at the set time for meals. they have one hundred people to serve in that hour. And yesterday it was more of the s ame.So finally I was fed up; and I snapped, ou t,"Alice this is not the Waldorf Astoria" that shut her up for ten minutes anyway. She complains about the food, the people working there, the fact its not a spiritual place whatever she meant by that. I tried to tell her that there are worse places than Gold crest and it sure as hell beats being homeless and on the street with no place to sleep or eat.Tonight at dinner I refused to even listen, she made my stomach knot up.One of us was missing but Perla and I ate quickly and left .we had had it up to over ou r heads. That Alice must have been born complaining. whew. I dread breakfast and listening to her bit@h again.
• United States
10 Jul 10
Thanks for your response =) I am so sorry you have to listen to that every day! I would go NUTS! Thank God my mother in law I don't see that often. I'm sorry, I hope somehow it get's better for you =(
2 people like this
@Hatley (164755)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Jul 10
Hi lilangelspreschool surprisingly she only complained once, something about we pay enough,and we don't get butter. the demon in me came out them, I yelled,as she is deaf, margarine is actually better for you than butter. butter has cholestrol and saturated fat. well she came baxk with but its natural and most people can handle it, a nd I with my demon still inforce said,"but if they give a damn about their health they should not be eating butter". I will be darned, she shut up and never said one other word. So getting sharp works with her. My sweet tempered other tablemate said,She only complained once.Good." I had to laugh as I am developing a mean streak I did not know I had.
• United States
10 Jul 10
That is awesome that she finally shut up!! Good for you =) That is funny, :)
@Memnon (2173)
10 Jul 10
I know someone who is like this often enough to be a real pain. She is in a bad way herself (diabetes, previous stroke means that she is wheelchair bound for the most part). But she demands constant attention, will not make decisions- nor allow others to make them for her, and moans that things have not been done! I know that some of this is a result of her own condition, but it is very depressing for her husband, as he can never do the right thing. Poor guy spends all his time looking after her for no thanks. There is no pleasant way of dealing with this. telling her the truth only brings on more depression, and hence dependance!
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Jul 10
Thanks for the response =) That is really sad. That must be really hard on him too. =( Poor guy. =)
1 person likes this
@jennbart (1333)
• Philippines
10 Jul 10
I am more feeling pity to your mother in law than your father in law. Why is that? Because your mother in law is not having a good life. She keeps on complaining. What a scrooge! She might die not because of old age but of hatred and anger in life. Which is bad. Your father in law, may still have you or any of his sons and daughters to care for him if your mother in law complains. But if she irritates everyone.. who will take good care of her when she gets weak? Her loved ones will also get tired of her around because of her negative outlook in life. While all of you wishes your Father in law live and pray that he may be granted by God some extension in life, she might not be wished the same. Fortunately, I do not know someone like this.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Jul 10
Thanks for your response =) He is in Heaven now so I know he's happy now. I just feel bad that his last days on earth he was treated so badly. Your lucky you don't know anyone like this, it is terrible. And, your right everyone is getting sick and tired of being around her. She made it that way herself though. It's hard to feel bad for her when she acts this way and talks about her own kids like their scum. =)
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
10 Jul 10
It sound like my boss, he always complain about everything. Everything is so wrong in his eyes, and when he do that his energy will be bad and became worst. I am very sorry to read your situation, its so hard situation, even I am in your situation may be I am in very bad confusing situation. I only give you a suggest, the storm will be gone and may be you can get out of there somewhere with a peacefull place, may be your grandma's place or another family.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Jul 10
Thanks for your response =) Sorry to hear you have a boss that is like this. =)
• China
10 Jul 10
I am sorry to hear that . The actions of your mother in law are so crazy that people can not understand her behaviors . I think she can not change her thoughts for everything , if you tell her about her wrong thing . So I suggest that do not contact with her so much, and keep a distance with her .
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Jul 10
Thanks for your response =) I do try to stay far away from her because she would bring me down to much if I didn't... =)
1 person likes this
@FellJune (12)
• China
10 Jul 10
My uncle's family also have the same trouble , and a doctor save the family. Everyone has troubles , and everyone needs help. If you don't like it ,you must try to change it. I think they have some psychological ploblems. Calm down , communicate with them , find the same interesting , and do something they both like. Maybe both of them need to see a doctor .
1 person likes this
@bird123 (10481)
• United States
10 Jul 10
People can get themselves in a habit and not realize what they are doing. Next time you see her ask her to tell you something good. If she complains, tell her that isn't something good. Insist until she comes up with something. Maybe she will catch on. You might just have to have a nice private talk with her. Even if she gets mad, it will get her to thinking. Give lots of hugs when she does good.
• United States
11 Jul 10
Thanks for your response =) You might be right. I have never tried to talk to her about it. I have always just said something nice in return about whatever or whoever she was complaining about hoping she would catch on but she never does! I will try that. Thanks =)
@sru2n9 (94)
• India
10 Jul 10
More or less my grandmother and my aunt is like your mother in law. But my aunt irritates me. She always find fault with me. But I don't know how to tell her in a nice way to keep her mouth shut.
• United States
11 Jul 10
Thanks for your response =) That's my problem. I want to say something but I want to say it nicely, how? =)
@ladyhope (377)
• Canada
10 Jul 10
One of my coworkers complains about everything, all the time! The weather, the customers, the boss, the way the phone rings, the number of times the doorbell rings...you get the point! She is the biggest pessimist ever and every time I tell her she shouldn't complain or she should be happy for the good things, she responds by saying something like "that's just how life is. Don't go on thinking life is all nice and good."
• United States
10 Jul 10
Thanks for your response =) Yup, sounds just like my mother in law. You can't win!! It stinks!