Should plural marriages be legal in the US?

United States
November 13, 2010 8:02am CST
I know in alot of countries a man can have more then one wife. Here it is not. In the Fundamentalist Mormans it is part of their religion and alot of them get way with it! I bring this up because of "Sister Wives". The guy has four wives and the first wife agreed to let her husband marry the other 3 women,or wives! I think it is crazy,selfish and insane! I can see it if s man wants more children but I believe a marriage should be between only two people! Not this plural thing! I also believe if you want to cheat on your partner,you should not be married in the first place! This is my opinion. What is yours?
9 people like this
17 responses
@JayJay45 (157)
• United States
13 Nov 10
Why NOT? If everyone involved agrees to it, and it is not behind the previous wives' backs. Why not? Everyone should be free (in this so-called free country)to do what makes them happy and works for them. With the ratio of women to men in this country it makes sense. Also it's 'free' daycare, 'free' help in the home, etc. While the working mothers are away they don't have to worry about their kids, etc. etc. I saw these women on the Oprah show and they explained how their home lives work and the splitting of chores, and housing. It didn't look like such a bad deal to me! I don't think it's cheating if everyone has agreed and knows about it before going in.
2 people like this
• United States
26 Nov 10
It just seems like cheating and alot of religions don't like it! If it was legal I wouldn't care but it is illegel and Fundamentalist Mormans get away with it. Mainly because it is part of their religion. It was outlaw in the US like 1890. Anyway I wouldn't like it or go for it if it came my way!
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
13 Nov 10
Hi blue65packer, The only way there should be plural marriages is if both sexes are treated the same. If a man can have more than one wife, than a wife should be able to have more than one husband. The Mormons believe that a man is superior to a woman but I don't think that western society will go back to that ridiculous idea. I agree with gay marriage, and if a couple wishes to live together outside of marriage, that's their business, but all marriage should be between two people. Blessings.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Nov 10
I believe in marriages between two people. Gay or straight. I know the Fundamentalists Mormans believe in it and it is a shame they believe men are superior then a woman! I agree if a man can have more then one wife why not woman having more then one husband? There is a tribe in South America that I saw on like Discovery where a woman has more then one husband! It was strange but it was part of the culture! I just wish i could remember the country this was in!
@inedible (768)
• Singapore
13 Nov 10
As long as all involved parties consent to it, I don't give a crap what they do. If they want to have multiple wives and all of those women are happy with it, I'm not going to try to force them to live by the rules of my religion. Honestly, it's doesn't seem much worse than regular adultery - at least polygamy means acknowledging each partner as being important. It seems weird that cheating is legal but multiple wives isn't. By the way, "cheating" implies deception. It's not really cheating if your partner approves of it, even if it is still wrong according to some religions.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Nov 10
Fundamentalist Mormans believe in plural marriages. It really is not legal but alot of them get away with it! Mostly because it is part of their religion! I think it is wrong,selfish and insane! If someone wants to do it,they can! It isn't for me and I will never understand how some ca deal with it and want it!
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
13 Nov 10
Hi Blue, Well, it wouldn't be for me. I kind of like the idea of monogamy and don't think I'd do well sharing my man with other women. That being said, there are many people who could and live very happily. If they are all in agreement and jealousy and rivalry are not a part of the equation then I really don't see the harm in them all working together to raise the children and keep the household going. I think a set up like this would be far more loving and honest than a person who gets married and then cheats and tears apart the family. There are many different types of family structures that work for the people in those families. It would not be fair of me to say they are wrong just because such a set up would not be something that I would want.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Nov 10
It would never be for me either! I can't believe there are families with plural wives! Some deal with jealousy and selfishness but somehow deal with it! If everyone is in agreement it could work. I still think it is wrong but alot of Fundamentalist Mormans do it! Most work! It is crazy!
@tammytwo (4303)
• United States
13 Nov 10
I believe that God intended marriage to be between only two people. I don't think a man or a woman should love more than one person in the way a husband and wife should love each other. The love I feel for my husband is one that I could never feel for another, just as the love I feel for my children is such that would never be given to another human being. It is selfish of a man or woman to feel they should have more than one lover and more than one spouse. This world is so selfish and could benefit from more people putting their own desires and needs aside to put those of others first.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Nov 10
I believe in two person marriages,too! I think anyone who practices plural marriages are selfih and out of their minds! Legally they aren't even married to more then one! At least in the US! I am talking about Fundamentalist Mormans! They somehow,at least alot of them,get away with it! I can't believe a wife would put up with more wives! that is nuts! Really nuts!
@gunagohan (3415)
• India
13 Nov 10
This is not legal in my place...If the first found that her husband is having any affairs, then the matter will be taken to legal courts !! We don't appreciate such practice of having more than a wife!! This is completely insane !! moreover, with my current knowledge scenario, i haven't seen anybody having more than a wife in my place !! It's quite difficult to maintain a single wife in the current economy status
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Nov 10
It is not legal her where I live. Unfortunely it is practiced by Fundamentalist Mormans. Alot of them do get away with having more then one wife! I think it is insane,too! I don't know how someone could marry more then one woman and afford them! It is nuts!
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
13 Nov 10
I believe in one marriage at a time. I don;t think that plural marriages should be allowed. How can you have a lasting relationship when you are married to more than one person at a time? I don't see how it can be done.
• United States
21 Nov 10
I believe in a one marriage at a time,too. I just wanted to hear people's opinion on this subject. I thought of this discussions thanks to "Sister Wives" which is about a Fundamentalist morman who has 4 wives. I can't believe there are woman who put up with this!
@academic2 (7009)
• Uganda
27 Nov 10
Polygamous marriage is a source of great marital distress and if i were an American, i would do whatever it takes to keep it away from the American people. Just imagine that one wife is already a problem to manage, how much more headache will come to your family if you have two wives all crying out for your attention and you seem willing to give your full attention to only one of them? I have seen many acid attacks in my country on co-wives usually carried out by the one who feels left out in a polygamous marriage and I wish Americans could save themselves of these troubles!
• United States
28 Nov 10
In America it is illegal to marry more then one wife! Unfortunely the Fundametalist Mormans do it even though it is not legal! Polygamous marriages have not been legal since like 1890! They get away with it because alot of them keep it secert. Some live in their own little towns or communities far away from other non Morman people and basicly live in their own little world they created themselves! I believe alot of these plural marriages are arranged and that is all thes woman know! They have no chose! That I don't like that and I wish that could be stopped!
• India
26 Nov 10
Hi blue Here in india hindus can have only one wife legally, muslims can have more than one, i just wonder how a man can manage with more than one? The wives will surely quarrel with each other and drag the husband in to it, regarding more children , he can make one every year Thank you so much. Professor. . Cheers have a lucky day ahead. God bless you. Welcome always.
• United States
28 Nov 10
I don't know how a man can handle more then one wife! I can't see there being quarreling between the wives and feeling jealous! I hear some plural marriages by Fundamentalist Mormans work and they make it work! How I don't know! I think these people are crazy!
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
18 Nov 10
I tend to think that arrangements like that between consenting adults ought to be legal. Problem is, in a lot of those arrangements, there's coercion involved, and I have a huge problem with that.
• United States
28 Nov 10
Some plural marriages are agreed on but I have heard some are not! With Fundametalist Mormans both of those sitauations happen! I could never share a husband and I would not let him have a plural marraige if he wanted one! It isn't for me!
• United States
14 Nov 10
I never thought a one on one marriage would ever work for me Unless both of us could have lovers after I bore the heir. But that's me. I think in a way we already have a plural marriages. There are many men who sleep around , and have many kids with many different women. The only difference, they are not in the women's or the children's lives
• United States
27 Nov 10
I never looked at this topic like that before! I hear all the time of a man being married and have a girlfriend/mistress on the side with kids! I work with a guy at work who's father was married 5 times and always had a girlfriend on the side! My friend Jessie has can't keep track of all his siblings and I believe he has not meet all of them either! That is crazy! Crazier then plural marriages! Yikes!
1 person likes this
@youless (94716)
• Guangzhou, China
14 Nov 10
Although Islam allows a man to marry four wives. But today even in some Islamic countries, a man can allow to marry only one woman. I like this change. It is not fair to marry more than one wife. Love can't be shared and it is a selfish thing. I don't think a man can treat all of his wives equally and wives will lead to many problems. As to a good country, a marriage can only between a husband and wife and no more. It should be the same all over the country. I love China
• United States
27 Nov 10
I thought all Muslims men were allowed to have more then one wife! I just learn something! I think it is selfish for men to have more then one wife! I also don't like it that some Fundmentalist Mormans get away with it and it shouldn't be that way! If the country law is one husband and one woman,then it should apply to everyone! Everybody!
• India
14 Nov 10
Blue, I agree with your last but one line of the argument. In Islam, in the pre-historic days, more than one wife was allowed legally to save the excess woman population from going astray. This is to be done only when a man meets following conditions: 1. He must be wealthy. 2. He must be healthy. 3. He should maintain justice among all the four, meaning, give them equal sustenance, residence and sleep with them in equal turns. When the man misses any one of the above, God, The Almighty has commanded him to be satisfied with only one (The Holy Qur'an) A man having more than one in the present day world, is sure to cheat himself and his partner. As every body has stated, love cannot be divided for more than one wife. It's all a matter of flesh and blood only. Hence, as you said, he should not be married in the first place, and enjoy a playboy life which will never give him a family life.
• United States
27 Nov 10
When I started this discussion I got it from the Fundamentalist Mormans who marry more then one wife even though it isn't legal. I had forgottan Muslims are permitted to have mor ethen one wife. I don't know if that is allowed in the US but I know it is in other countries.I would never go for it but it is was legal and all parties agreed on it I probaly would not mind it! Even with Christians!
@vangie26 (449)
• Philippines
14 Nov 10
I believe in other religion or beliefs, they are allowed to have more than one wife. But as Christian, no. Because basically if you have more than one wife, there would be no faithfulness and the love. It is not allowed in most of the society. Probably, many men are doing this but definitely, they are illegal and if brought to court, wife can sue for concubinage.
• United States
26 Nov 10
In the US it is illegal for plural marriages but Fundamentalist Mormans get away with it! At least most of the time! If they do get away with it is because it is part of their religion! I think that is wrong! No man should have more then one wife if it isn't allowed! Simple as at! So many countries it is alllowed,mostly with the Muslims. If it is legal, no pro!blem! I do have a problem if it is legal but I don't like it when people get away with it!
• Philippines
14 Nov 10
As far as I know, there is divorce in US so after undergoing the proper procedure of nullifying one's marriage, one can re-marry. There are various laws in marriage from different countries. Basically the religion governs in classification and practice of marriage. Like in the Philippines. It is a Christian country wherein majority of the citizens are Roman Catholic. Multiple marriage for Catholics is not permissible but it is very common in Muslim faith. Here in the Philippines, Muslims can marry and re-marry countless of times. Provided, the man can support all of his families EQUALLY. On the other hand, some Filipino's are pursuing legalization of divorce rather than legalization of multiple marriage. In conclusion, I must say that some people would want to cut the connection with others rather than continue it and remain living in distress.
• United States
26 Nov 10
I know Muslims do marry more then once. I don't think they can in the US but I know they can in other countries. Plural marriages in the US were banned in 1890,I believe. It doesn't stop fundamentalist Mormans from doing it! I know in African countries,I think all, a man can marry more then one wife if he wants to. Christian or Muslim! I know some Malawi students attending the college I work at. Some of them would like more then one wife but can't afford it! They mostly would do it to have lots of children. Divorce is a real no no over there! Especailly with the Catholic church (no surprise there!). So if a couple can't divorce they just seperate and the man can marry someone else if he wants to! It is strange and something I could never do!
@entengo (70)
• United States
14 Nov 10
No, because one could get jealous and one might love the other more so leave it just one.
• Philippines
14 Nov 10
hello blue65packer! i have seen a man who has 5 wives, two of whom are sisters. They all lived under one roof, with the man but they occupy specific rooms or quarters. The man is quite wealthy and pulled this scheme without much fuss from his women. When i first heard of this arrangement, i was quite flabbergasted. I don't know how could this women accept this kind of life. Well, they are well-provided for along with their children, but to share one's husband with others? under one roof? it's simply crazy. The first wife has a lot of say in the big family, or so i was told. Her husband could only remarry upon her agreement but in all other things, all the 5 wives have equal rights and claims to the husband. Sometimes, a fight ensues between siblings but there was never any real fight amongst the wives. They were too afraid to earn the ire of the husband to fight one another. Personally, i don't think i could live with such a situation. I would rather give up the man i love should he opted to live like this, than share him with many other wives. Just doesn't have that in me, the sharing thing. lol.