Why Must a Friend's Message Stop at the First Friend? (Not Going to Theirs etc.)
@mythociate (21437)
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
January 25, 2011 11:12am CST
This is a message for the friend I may never know---the friend-of-a-friend, or the friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend, etc.
That's how you know if your friends are true; if your messages get that far.
I'm sorry, but it seems that most of my "friends" are too 'self-involved' to be good friends (oh, "honorably" self-involved--husband, wife, kids, grandkids, employment, studies, and all the other 'honorable involvements' they describe with the word "my").
And I admit that I may be "calling the kettle 'black'" here (because it seems that no one wants to be involved with what affects me unless it affects them as well).
So, naturally it seems to me that I have to guilt people into 'of a friend'-friendship---the ol` "as has been done unto me, so shall be done unto you (by Higher Powers)"-approach.
4 people like this
7 responses
@owlwings (43915)
• Cambridge, England
25 Jan 11
It's not at all clear what you are referring to. If you are speaking of expecting email messages to be forwarded, either the messages don't seem to your friends to be worth forwarding or all your friends are (sensibly) aware that the "Please forward to all your friends" type of message is one of the prime ways that spammers use to harvest email addresses.
Using 'guilt' as a means of getting someone to do something is bad practice because it is threatening and tantamount to blackmail.
6 people like this
@mythociate (21437)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
25 Jan 11
Are your 'sensibly aware' friends aware that it was sent by 'you?' If they suspect that your account was stolen from you, why do they not try to get it back for you?
4 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
26 Jan 11
I have friends who are also fri ends with me and each other so we send messages and pass them on and on and sometimes I make some new mylot friends as they get back to me.a message can go on and on as long as we all leran to know each other and are friends.You idea has merits alright
and I guess I have understood what you said. At least I know ihave friends who are also friends with each other.5 people like this
Thank you
@mythociate (21437)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
25 Jan 11
Right, it's kind of like Chicken Little, except the sky REALLY IS falling - just not for anybody but you.
"You're making the sky fall on me!" you say. 
, they reply, "So?"
, they reply, "So?"5 people like this
... 
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
26 Jan 11
If they are "honorable involvements"..well..what can we say about that really? I have a couple of friends that I would love to spend more time with and miss very much, but we are all doing things that keep us on our toes and on the go. The thing is with us is that if the other needs us...we have invested enough time in our "honorable involvements" where we can drop those for just a while...lol..
1 person likes this
@mythociate (21437)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
26 Jan 11
Like a tree on the river-bank, it constantly must nourish it's own roots but is also mindful to keep the riverbank from falling into the water!
3 people like this
@CynergyDiva (805)
• Canada
26 Jan 11
I don't believe that true friendship is measured by how many people you pass messages on to. Sometimes I get forwarded messages; I read them, appreciate them or not, but I don't necessarily spread them to my entire mailing list. I might send it on to someone I think might appreciate it, but I'm not into mass mailings. I don't feel it's my responsibility to make someone else popular. And anyway, how much is anyone really thinking about me when they send me a message that was mass mailed to a hundred other people? I think the true measure of how much a person is really thinking about you comes in the form of a message meant only for you.
xoxo
Cyne
1 person likes this
@CynergyDiva (805)
• Canada
26 Jan 11
Thank you, I appreciate your compliment. Sometimes I think people are more into the popularity contest than they are in making true genuine connections with people.
xoxo
Cyne
@mythociate (21437)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
26 Jan 11
Right, but a friend's idea ought to carry more weight ... enough to compel friends to pass-it-on by itself (on Facebook, I think you can 'X' the "Via"-line if you want to).
3 people like this
@2004cqui (2812)
• United States
26 Jan 11
I call this "extending the friendship circle artificially". Using guilt doesn't keep a friend in the fold, rather sends them running for shelter: The unanswered phone, or the "I'm busy" answer comes to mind. True friends like my company and if not I let them go. But then, I keep my circle of friends is very small.
1 person likes this
@mythociate (21437)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
26 Jan 11
Right.
Just focus on the Awesome of what you do at the link; the Awesome will compel the friends to spread it to their own friends (to show how Awesome it is to be a friend of Awesome).
3 people like this
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
25 Jan 11
I do know what you mean my friend and I have been struggling with this for an exact year. My 328 close, and I mean close "friends" are no where in plain view, unless of course they need something. So I began to carefully review exactly what type of friendships we actually had. Then it hit me, oh yeah, unless I guilt them some way I would never had met so and so, so I finally figured out that unless I was to guilt them then I would not be worthy.
So basically I decided to allow them to continue their busy lives and YES, I can certainly be amicable if they ever have the time for me, but until then I am trying to strengthen my sanity.
1 person likes this
@mythociate (21437)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
25 Jan 11
I heard it explained (I think in one of those "TED Ideas Worth Sharing"-videos) that some friends are what-TED-called Diamond-friends ... friends who will introduce all their friends to each other.
I like to think of each of my discussions here as 'part of me,' and thus want to introduce all my new 'parts' to all my friends 
4 people like this
