Must learn to control mouth...

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So last night I got grumpy. I had just gotten on Dearra about leaving her plate in the sink instead of putting it in the dishwasher, and I go back over there, and R has plonked his down in the sink. So I say "g*d damn it", and he looks over and wants to know what's wrong. So I tell him that I'm constantly on the kids not to leave their dishes in the sink, and then he goes and does it, so they think it's OK. Later I play a little piano, and go upstairs to chill with some surveys and a game of Poppit. I get about 2 minutes of chill time, and he comes in all on his high horse, about how I supposedly cussed him out, and how he would have cleaned it up later, and anyway he does so much more around the house, and why don't I sweep and vacuum more, etc. Well this puts my brain in shutdown mode. I feel criticized and attacked, so I kind of get trapped inside my head, and don't know what to say. Something about the whole thing felt wrong though, that's all I can say. He comes back at me all over again, says he wants an apology because I cussed him out. Still feels wrong. Still unable to respond. Can't think. Finally he backs off, and I get a few moments to reflect back on what happened. And I realize, dad gum it, yeah I cussed, but not at him. I wasn't even talking to him when I said it. So I tell him, "I didn't cuss you out." And he says, "yes you did." "Well, no I didn't. I said that when I saw the dish in the sink. I wasn't even talking to you at that point." He acknowledges that I might have a point, and that we're both just too sensitive around each other. And then I tackle the sweeping and vacuuming thing. HE voluntarily took that on years ago because it hurts my back. So I pointed that out, and asked if it had suddenly become a problem, or did he just throw that one out at me because he was upset. Don't think I got a response there... And then I proceeded to list all of the things that I do do around the house. Including laundry, grocery shopping, clothes shopping, school shopping, social stuff, cat boxes, dishes, cooking, paying bills, picking up, getting on the kids for stuff that he doesn't, feeding the animals, etc. etc. Don't think I got a response there either. Anyway, by then it was after 10, and he had shut up and wanted to sleep. I was on the PC chatting, and he wanted me to go downstairs and get on the laptop. So, I, feeling a wee bit b*tchy, said that I had wanted to chill for the last hour, and he had to come upstairs and pick a fight over pretty much nothing. And I ignored him and continued chatting for a while. Eventually I did go downstairs, and stayed up way too late playing Poppit. But I tell you, my evil twin wanted to unplug his alarm clock and his phone, hide his stuff, leave his shoes in front of the door so he'd trip over them, etc. Wow, was I feeling hostile. This weekend, grant me the courage to tell the kids (preferably with him), and start doing things to separate finances, clean out stuff, etc. btw the papers came last week, and we aren't married any more... Meanwhile, must learn to control my mouth around him.