Prejudice?

Well she wouldn't have asked if they wore business suits, would she?

Aw..I wish the person who advised her pointed towards the lady's attempt to be discreet. After all, she asked the girl when she was alone with her in the kitchen. Perhaps that conversation came up because the boyfriend's mother might not have had any topics to raise, and was trying to shall we say break the silence rather than break the ice? She perhaps didn't know where to begin conversation with a girl from a different cultural background. And to be frank even though I am not prejudiced towards any body from another race, I would be a bit shocked if I found a person dressed in clothes that I dont get to see out here. And curious as well. From local standards, I wouldnt consider it prejudiced. May be bordering on bad manners. Nothing beyond that. My vote goes to mother in this case.

It was racist and it can not be tolerated. The young lady did the right thing. She just walked away. Me, the new me would have said What the F!ck do you mean Mexican Cartel? And then I wuld give her my you better run look. And then I would have walked away. But this young women is nicer than I. I think the advice was ok. I agree that she should talk about how she is feeling about this b!tch to her loving son. See I would just say , this was the last time I will ever be in her presence. I know you love your mom and you like me . You can and should have us in your life but not in the same room , ever. If this thing becomes deeper , then you go home for the holidays and we celebrate my birthday but in no way will I ever be in her presence. That way it is up to him if he wants to see me again or not. See once a bigot Always a bigot is my moto and I do not spend time with bigots.

I think that it's a stereotype although I can't help but think that there's no smoke without fire. I guess that it is a kind of uniform and when worn is going to attract certain reactions. However, if a woman wears a mini skirt and a low neck top is she a sl*t. Of course not. But many might think so. Now if I were to wear a mini skirt........

Well, it would make sense that someone that dressed like that could be considered to be a gangbanger. The reason that I say that is because of the fact that gangbangers around here do dress like that. However, I wouldn't ask that question of the people simply because of the fact that they were Hispanic, instead it would be a question of asking of anyone that dressed in those kinds of clothes because gangs are not limited to one ethnicity.

For me it is for the devil action be not bad to think it and prayed to Jehovah God what was happen.

Heck, I'd be asking that if they weren't hispanic - if they were white too... I KNOW a few who are white and WERE gangstas for a while!

Neither. I'd say it's more of a stereotype about how they dress. If they were some other race and they dressed with sagged pants and wore tattoos, then they probably would wonder the same thing. I don't think that it has anything to do with race. I think it's more paranoid than anything to think that it does have to do with race. Then again, I wasn't there, so I can't really understand the situation fully. If they dressed another way, do you really think the boyfriend's mother would be asking the same question? I think probably not. At any rate, she asked if they were gangbangers, she didn't just say that they were, so I don't think that's a bad thing. Maybe she did assume that they were and asked just to hear it, but it sounds more like she was just asking. I don't see any problem with asking a question.

I just don't know enough about hispanic fashion to make a judgement here. But I am never afraid to ask and only because I love to learn about different cultures. The fact is we are most from different cultures here in the USA and we will never learn about each other without asking questions.

It seems to me, according to what I see in TV, that tatoos are "in" in the United States, whatever the race or subrace (by the way, hispanics are white as caucasian and maya natives are similar to your siux or pueblo). Many youngsters are now tatooing themselves, after they see that abnoxious TV show called "Miami ink". The first time I saw tattoed people was in the Florida highways. There were these scary (to me) people in motorcycles, dressed in black and full of leather. They were not hispanic. Prejudice is a pest. Here, in my country, there are some people that say that all americans are... JEEZZZ!!! The United States is almost a continent and the mixture of cultures and races is incredible! You can´t judge a country or a race after seeing a couple of people, specially if you just look at them.

It could be...or just be ignorance. Some people speak their mind without thinking and they end up hurting others. I once had a job at a university and my husband and I were students. My husband what an athlete who would go running at the practice field. One day he stopped by my office to pick something up and was wearing his workout clothes which consisted of a tang top, warm up pants and a bandana to keep the sweat out of his face. He had a long pony tail at the time. What shocked me is that all my co-workers were scared and thought he was a gangster. I was shocked at first and a little angry, but I realized that they were ignorant. I made a comment to them that just because someone looks a certain way or dresses a certain way doesn't mean they are a gangster. Once I made them realize their mistake, they were remorseful and actually apologized to me. Some people are prejudiced...but then there are some that are just plain ignorant and don't realize that they are stereotyping untill someone corrects them. I hope this girl is able to sit down with her BF and his mother and explain to her how she feels. The mother may not even realize that she said something wrong.

Gangbangers? Somehow, I thought that was a word that mylot wouldn't allow ... ;-) I've never thought about huge baggy pants as a way of finding out if someone's in a gang, I suppose I'm in the wrong part of the world for that. But, as an aside to baggy pants, think about retirement homes in 40 to 60 years, when the young men with too big pants are old men with too big pants. At least noone'll know if they're so old they have to start using diapers again, unless they loose their trousers. Which I suppose they will. Not to mention the saggy tattoos. I'm terified of needles so there's no way I'd get one, no way I'd wear earrings either, but earrings don't sag as you grow older. Right, another post on topic ;-) It's probably too late in the night :-)

I do not believe it is a racist comment, because there are many different types of people who choose to dress this way. However, the mother asking if they were part of a Mexican Cartel may spur some bad feelings. I do not blame her for being concerned though. If my kid were dating the girl and I saw the family, I would be very cautious for my son. The men are dressed as gangbangers, and I would immediately wonder if they were. Why would someone want to carry themselves in a disrespectful way, if they are the opposite of what they portray? Then again, they may live in a rough neighborhood and their dress is good camouflage to keep them safe. I would definitely want to know more about the family, but going so far as to ask what she did is a bit out of line. There are other ways to find out information. Maybe she is just a very straightforward person who does not put much thought into what she has to say? Did she mean to be racist, even though what she said sounds like it.

I think that yes, that is an understandable question. Unfortunate as it is, people create stereotypes for others. While that does not mean that they are a certain way because of how they dress, if they are dressing that way then, they are basically putting themselves in that category and allowing others to convey them that way. I would not expect anyone to think of me as a decent,respectable person if I ran around wearing a little bitty skirt with my bottom hanging out and my knockers exposed. I would expect people to look at me and have some rather ugly thoughts about me but, that would be me choosing to be stereotyped that way unless of course, I really was that way and then..they were right to stereotype in the first place! In some cases, it is wrong but in others, I feel it is absolutely correct. I do not think there is any harm in her boyfriends mother asking that question if she was truly concerned.

This is sad that there is still so much stereotyping like this even yet today. But unfortunately I see and hear it all the time still and it makes me Sad. So many times I have heard from people when they call for a Cab insisting on a woman, or a white person. Or people who are Black insisting they only listen to Black Music and watch channels like BET most of the time, and think I should know nothing about some of the shows and music. It can be so irritating sometimes, and makes you wonder what rock did they just crawl out from underneath for sure.

naw whites and colored wear them too

I would advise the girl to rise above the reputation her uncles have created. Her boyfriend's mother may or may not be prejudice. However, if she is, this the girl's chance to prove to her how wrong she is.

I think it is both. Sad about sterrotypes. I agree with the answer. Time to act instead of react. She was observing and asking a pertinent question. I would want to know. I would be around the woman again. I would also understand that this woman loves her son and is only thinking of his wellfare. If it were me I would curious and would have to ask. I'd be upfront with the woman and tell her that her question shocked you. If it even comes up again. Or if she felt a need to clear the air.

People who dress like that do tend to be up to know good... but it has nothing to do with their race. However it is disrespectful to ask someone if a member of their family is anything because of how they dress. There will always be someone who is dressing like that because they just like the look.

I am hispanic and have hispanic parents, and personally I don't like seeing guys or women with baggy pants. Unfortunately we are in a society in which people judge you because of the way you look. I personally don't think it's prejudice if I were a parent I would want to know as well, I believe its an understandable question considering that you are dating my daughter and/or son as a concern parent I think I would want to know. And this isn't only against hispanics there are other races that also wear baggy pants and have tattoos, I would ask the same questions as well.