My boss said I am stupid

Malaysia
August 3, 2011 1:12pm CST
She said I am stupid. When she delegates work to me, she seems like talking to herself. I don't quite understand what a word she wants to tell me. She is fast and not accurate talking too many things which one thing she did not told me what to do exactly. What I should answer back or should I do so?
4 people like this
26 responses
4 Aug 11
i am you boss ,i am very very sorry ,.the one Stupid is me ,i have no right to insult you ,don't hate me please !
1 person likes this
• China
4 Aug 11
To some degree,you are a good boss.You can understand and accept your employee's thoughts with very sincere manner,I like such kind of boss,but please be more patient with your employee, particularly while in the work,you 'd better make yourself and your instructions well understood by the person who was assigned to do that task. Then,i hope you get well along with every subordinate staff.
• Malaysia
4 Aug 11
@benmehuang You are very good boss
• China
3 Aug 11
How long have you been together with your boss? You need to give it time and work hard to communicate better with your boss. Tell him or her what's your feeling or what will be better if just something changes.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
4 Aug 11
I just been there one day. This is my first week.
• China
5 Aug 11
Just give it a little time. Good luck to you!
@yspmyl (3438)
• Malaysia
4 Aug 11
Hi! Bosses are always expect a lot of things from their employer. They always assume that the worker will know everything without needed to tell much. That is how the boss act. She said you are stupid may be because she have been used to the job and she know how to do it easily but when it come to you that are quite new to the job, you might find it difficult to understand and unable to follow up. What I will do in that situation, I will try to record down what she wanted me to do and then reconfirm back with her one by one, and finally, ask her which one is the most urgent and then give it priority. That is what you should do. And you should report the progress to her from time to time. Interaction between you and your boss is crucial, the more interaction, the better the relationship and trust will build up. So, be patient and learn more and proof to her that you are not as what she thought.
@keihimekawa (2010)
• Philippines
4 Aug 11
I suggest that you tell her to repeat herself while you take note of what she said. If you haven't caught what she said the first time she say it, don't hesitate to ask again. It's better to be clear of everything before you start doing anything. After your discussion, make a quick recap with her. Like a run through of your notes and "what-to-dos" If she gets angry or call you "stupid", relax and simply say "Ma'am, I'm just trying to get this conversation clear so that I can submit to you a job well done". Sometimes it helps to speak out and be frank. Be straight to the point but at the same time, be respectful to your boss :)
1 person likes this
@garson (886)
• United States
15 Aug 11
May I ask where this is? How does she interact with others? Generally, it is considered rude to tell an employee that he/she is stupid. It could be cultural or customs in certain countries that some boss happen to be like that. Still, it would create a hostile working environment.
• Malaysia
15 Aug 11
Malaysia.
• Malaysia
15 Aug 11
She is a private companies and a chinese.
@Hatley (164450)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Aug 11
wongchoiyee just for starters does it happen your boss is using one language and you use english as a second language? If so she is being mean as you are not stupid just because you do not understand some of her words. make her repeat it and explain it to you.If you were really stupid you would not have been hired or would not be able to write this good discussion either.Whatever is the reason you do not understand her get her to write it down so you do understand each word.Be really sweet to her and tell her you did not understand what she wanted. then write it all down in your words and keep it in case of any argument with her. You will have documentation of what she said exactly to you.
• Malaysia
4 Aug 11
She talked in cantonese mixed english so she kinda use too many word, confusing, I think.
@lampar (7597)
• United States
4 Aug 11
NO wonder you are confused with her order, she is mixing cantonese with english, i met people like that in my life, it is true that you will have a hard time understand what she said, i will be faced with the same problem too if someone can not even speak properly with one language in a persistent way. It seem like she is the stupid one, not you. Just Cheer and begin to look for other employment opportunity than continue working for this miserable boss and over craze woman that only good at dehumanizing you.
@CTHanum (8254)
• Malaysia
3 Aug 11
That's what boss do~ Instructing people and expecting others to know them very well. There are some bosses who dislike to train and give time to employee to adapt the environment. But anyway as an employee we have no right to talk back to them. The only way for you to overcome it is to asked her again for better explanation.
• Malaysia
4 Aug 11
I think she know I have depression although I don't said it in my resume. Just that she never thought to tolerate with me. I have said sorry to her before because I cannot listen to what she said but she just kept on saying non stop with non accurate or clear orders which she wanted me to do.
1 person likes this
@CTHanum (8254)
• Malaysia
5 Aug 11
That's what we need to go through if we work under the supervision of others. They tend to respect less the employees because they are superior but they expect more respect from others because they thought they deserve it. For boss like you have right now, she don't deserve that respect because she did not know what does respect means as she did not behave as that one.
@surekharathi (14134)
• India
5 Aug 11
HaahahI remember my days when my boss was also tell me you are stupid because I was sent the mail on wrong email ID. But my senior was helping nature and she helps me and talk with the boss or director and immediately call that person and tell everything. But friend you should note down which is saying your boss. Next time you will take care I know you are sincere and innocent employee. Dont worry God will help you. Thanks to comment on my photo smiley lady.
• Malaysia
5 Aug 11
@Barb42 (4216)
• United States
5 Aug 11
I may be different than most. But, if my boss called me stupid, I'd be hunting the EXIT door quickly. I believe a boss is to respect his/her employees just like the employee is to respect his/her boss. When that disappears, it isn't a very healthy working atmosphere.
@Barb42 (4216)
• United States
5 Aug 11
Thanks for best response.
@savypat (20246)
• United States
3 Aug 11
Tell her you need to write down her instructions so that you do not get confused. Don't worry about what she calls you, you know you are not stupid. Just protect yourself with written instructions, that way if she leaves something out or tells you incorrectly you will have the protection of showing just what you were asked to do. If she says she doesn't have time to write the instructions or to have you write them, ask if you can come and check with her one step at a time, the point of this is to get the responsibility back on her shoulders and off of yours. It sounds like she may be a bully, the way to handle that is to always be kind, not defensive, a bully gets no satisfaction when their actions are returned with kindness. Don't fake this, find something so that you can truly be kind about her. If all this doesn't work. Get back to us for further help.
• Malaysia
4 Aug 11
I always practice kindness towards everyone, just that she made my day upside down.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
7 Aug 11
What I would do is that I would ask your boss to make a written list of your responsibilities so you will know what you have to do on a regular basis at work. In addition to that, you should make copies of your list of responsibilities on a daily basis, that way when there is additional work that you need to get done you can keep it written down. That is what I always did when I was working and doing that made me one of the most efficient employees that my boss had.
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
7 Aug 11
Your boss lacks professionalism. How can a boss say such word to her staff. She should not offend any of her staff with words that she herself would not like to be labelled with. You have the right to tell her off for belittling you.
@chiyosan (30205)
• Philippines
5 Aug 11
well i think if you do want to keep your job, you should just explain to her and not sort of fight back. tell your boss that you did not understand because she was talking too fast for you to catch up with what she was saying.
@lydiab (33)
• United States
4 Aug 11
Unfortunately not all bosses, supervisors are good leaders and/or good teachers. Some get promoted because he/she is good at performing task however, that does not mean that he/she can lead others without further training and guidance. I suggest you use an appropriate tone to ask for clearer direction. Do not be surprised if your boss becomes frustrated believing she has already given you clear direction. Tell her what you need and put emphasis that your goal is to do the best job for her but you require clear step by step directions. Take notes as she speaks and feel free to repeat back what you have written down. I hope this helps!
4 Aug 11
i think if you don't understand her, just ask again what you didn't understand and tell her to make it clearer, and i think its better if you take note whenever she is telling you to do something then show her your take notes if that's what she wants you to do.
@06MLam (622)
4 Aug 11
Try to observe more and read her mind so as to guess what she wants you to do. Asking her again will make you do exactly what she wants but she will find you even more stupid herself even if this should be her problem who do not give clear orders.
• China
4 Aug 11
hi,wongchoiyee,from the stupid word i think your boss is not deserved for your respect,however, you have to face to face to her every day after all it's your boss though dislikes her from the heart. if didn't plan to quit you have to think about a idea to deal with it. in my opinion you should talk to her as soon as possible and let her konw what's in your mind.
@andy77e (5165)
• United States
4 Aug 11
So if I am in your shoes, and I'm working somewhere and the boss says I'm stupid. OK. Step one: Determine if you are doing anything to cause this. Are you not listening explicitly when she talks? Is there something you are doing to bothers her? Can you fix any of this? If yes, then change how you work to fix it. If no, then step two. Step two: Confront. This is the hard part. Look your boss straight in the eyes, face to face, make sure she is look at you, and then I would say: "If I am stupid, then you should fire me. If I am not, then you should shut your mouth." Step three: Appeal to authority. If she refuses to fire you, and refuses to stop calling you stupid, then talk to her boss. Knock on his / her door, and just tell him your problem, that your boss is insulting you. Step four: If everything else fails, find another job. Do not become bitter. Just don't go there. People have a tendency to get bitter and angry when their boss is causing a problem. Do not do that. Find another place to work. Life is too short to spend it miserable with a horrible boss that ruins your life.
• China
4 Aug 11
So,your boss should be a more scathing lord, but it seem to be not such bad things that you can cope with this challenge under great pressure,and you will do much better in the future working tasks.Be more confident with yourself,as well as your employer,try to understand her situation as a management and executive,most of time ,she has to get things done with fast and high efficiency.Shen may treat you with little tolerance,but you have to understand her, you may completely know what your boss ever did to you when you are a boss some day.
@skysuccess (8881)
• Singapore
4 Aug 11
wongchoiyee, In the first place, I hope that you will put your boss's comments behind you and focus on the issue here. I can understand what you are going through, but keeping mum when your boss does not give you clear instructions and/or proper delegation of work is your wrong. Learn to be calm, in control and brave to speak up when you need to. Let your boss know that she is speaking too fast and that her instructions aren't clear to you. I do not know which line of work you are in, but I do sense that it is quite a pressurizing one with a boss like that. Remember, you are not stupid but once in a while, we (including me) do commit stupid mistake or two, we are entitled because we are all imperfect. So, do be in control here especially in your area of responsibility. Take care and have a nice day.