A Voice of A Stupid Guy
By rberon1985
@rberon1985 (5359)
Philippines
April 3, 2012 8:54am CST
I don't know how to start and express my feelings. I am really disappointed with what is happening in my life. Why there are people that they love ruining our life?whatever you do, your good doings is not appreciated. I have known a friend who used to share problems in her life especially about her family, her sufferings, her frustrtations. As a friend, your main concern is to assist her to the best effort that you can. To give the best solution that you can give. I've done a lot of favor for her even though i know to myself it would affect my financial status. There are some instances that you no longer ask her to pay the amount that she owe you due to pity. But the sad thing in the story is that you can't feel her sincerity as a friend. You can really feel that she is just playing with you.No matter what you do, she still appears to be a traitor. I don't want to judge her since I don't have enought proof. I hope someday she will realize that what she's doing is not right. I still hope that God continue to bless her and her family. I know its not good to judge other people. But all I want is her honesty. Sometimes I became rude towards her because of what is showing to me. I hope i can talk to someone who would understand my situation.
2 people like this
7 responses
@penrockerchic (1903)
• Philippines
3 Apr 12
Sometimes, it's really hard to distinguish your care and your pity especially to someone close to you. Unfortunately, some so-called friends would take advantage of your kindness. Try to be careful next time. Just be there but don't do anything rush that you might soon regret. I used to have a friend that I always said YES to many times especially in terms of financial assistance but there came a point when I had to say NO for the first time. Then, she started becoming more careful with how she handles her situation and her problems especially with her finances. But, if she needs my help, I'll still be there for her no matter what.
1 person likes this
@rberon1985 (5359)
• Philippines
3 Apr 12
All I can do now is to sigh. I can't imagine that every now then our situation and friendship is becoming terrible. I don't recall when was the last time that we talked. Maybe all we need is communication. We have to clarify things.
@penrockerchic (1903)
• Philippines
5 Apr 12
Good luck with that and I hope everything gets settled. Finding a good friend is really difficult nowadays and I'm sure that your friend also thinks of you that way. I hope you can settle your differences and get to the bottom of all your issues together and get through with all of them. Good luck and stay positive.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
3 Apr 12
So you don't know it for sure, you don't have enough proof but still your judge?
Ask yourself this question: why do you allow other people to abuse you?
Why do you accept this kind of people around you or do you attract them?
Everything you write is the opposite of what you just wrote before it. You have to change yourself, stand for what and who you are. Yes is Yes, No is No. You love them or hate them. You can't hate them and say you love and pray for them as well. Sounds to me god wants you to learn a lesson. As long as you did not learn it this kind of people will be surrounding you. Remember: after each action there is a reaction!
1 person likes this
@rberon1985 (5359)
• Philippines
3 Apr 12
This is such a great advice. I used to be a loner before. When I met real friends in life, I became afraid to lose them. i came to a point that I would not do my best just for them to stay, maybe your right, all I need is consistency for me to be respected. I want to find my old self. A person who knows how to love himself. A person who is just silent in one corner. Most of the time, i am misunderstood by other people. Maybe there is also a problem in me. And I have to work on that before I lose my friends.
@savypat (20216)
• United States
3 Apr 12
You lost tract of why you are kind to others. It's not for their benefit, it's for your own. you are the only one you have control of. So make sure that what you give to others is truly a gift. Given is the key word here. Expect nothing in return, the giving is what is important. Whatever comes back to you is also a gift, the difference is you are receiving in this case. Remember to always do to others as you want them to do to you. That does not mean expect from others, that is not within your control so waste no energy there. By givening freely you have done your part in the creation of our world, that is all you and anyone can do.
Blessings
@rberon1985 (5359)
• Philippines
3 Apr 12
I really appreciate your response. I am not expecting anything in return from her. Maybe all I want to see just a matter of respect from her.I just felt disrespected on all her acts.I felt like mistreated. I felt that she playing me in her hands.Or I am just paranoid. Before we were close. Every time that she asked me something, I always pity her. But this time, there is a feeling of like hatred and felt like don't want to help her anymore. Maybe she felt that I am ignoring her already that is why this past few days, she never texted or call me and share something about her life.
@Nightshade13 (74)
• Philippines
7 May 12
Hello rberon,
i so agree with savypat, if your giving things to someone do not expect something in return in your favor, because if that is the case then don't you think you also have a hidden agenda why you wanted to give something to that person?
if you are giving things to that girl, do not expect to have something in return from her, it also doesn't guarantee you to gain her trust nor respect. i think you are being unfair to that girl if you are thinking that she is playing you on her hands like a marrionette, don't you think so?
well i hope you and that girl would get along with each other again, i wish you all the luck...
@OpinionatedLady (5966)
• United States
3 Apr 12
When a kindness is not returned it hurts to the soul. There is helping someone and letting them take advantage, you helped it is wrong for her to take advantage of that and a real friend wouldn't.
1 person likes this
@rberon1985 (5359)
• Philippines
3 Apr 12
That is actually what I felt. She is taking advantage of my kindness. but I came to a point what she is doing is too much and will no longer tolerated. I will not make any move for a revenge. I will just let her feel my disappointment. I can say that she is a one- sided friend. But still, as I always say, I will just let those people mess my life. I know in the end, God won't permit those people be successful on whatever negative purpose they are planning for that specific person.
@ybong007 (6643)
• Philippines
4 Apr 12
Here's my one cent. If there's any person that you should talk to, it's her. You said she's your friend so that means a lot. What you're going through right now could just be a little misunderstanding. there are things that bothers you but as you said you have no proof. It's probably a hard thing to do to open up the topic and tell her upfront what's eating you but that's the only way to resolve the problem. You can always talk to another person and that person will listen and probably give you some advice but what about your friend? For all we know, she's not even aware of what you're feeling right now. Be brave, tell her everything and i'm sure you'll feel a lot better afterwards and who knows? you two could even patch things up and further strengthen your friendship.
@bonding2 (219)
• South Africa
5 Apr 12
rberon ,i believe since you don't have enough proof it is better to let sleeping dog to lye until such a time you have enough evidence ,you might just be worrying for nothing
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
3 Apr 12
You are what we call a doormat--you let people walk all over you.
A real friend will rarely ask for favors, especially for money. A real friend will hide their circumstances rather than ask a friend for money. I have been friends with one particular woman for 20 years and only once in that time did I ask for a loan and then I paid it back before promised. She has never, ever asked me for a loan or for many favors at all. I volunteer my help to her and she volunteers help to me before we ask the other. (I'm talking help as in helping with serving at a party or picking her up from work or whatever) That's how it should be.
Watch out for users. If a new friend starts asking favors, find another. Real friends will only ask if every other path is exhausted because they don't want to burden their friends.
I hope you can find better friends. It's NOT selfish not to help friends when they make it a habit to depend on you.
