Here We Go Again

MoonGypsy..I am sorry you have this challenge. You are always heard and appreciated on myLot , and that is one thing that is so awesome about this site. Since he is just a boyfriend..maybe you need to look at the disrespect he is showing you since he must know how much you dislike it?? If nothing can be done, and you still want him around, maybe somehow you can learn to accept his yelling and practice patiece when he starts. That is all I can think of to do when I am in a no-win situation. Good luck to you...hopefully in time he will see the error of his ways.

Are you mad that he yells at your son like that, I wouldnt be too happy about that. Maybe, you need to tell him thats your son and he should be grown anyway why is he plating video games in your sons room. If hes grown he should get his own or wait his turn he is the adult. Please dont take this wrong but, from what you wrote thats how it seems in my point of view but, i dont know the whole story so please dont get mad.

Ouch, Moon, I am feeling you through the computer and I am feeling all worked up and ready to explode just reading this. I went through all of this with my youngest daughter's dad whom I lived with for a while. He picked on one of my daughters relentlessly and it always put me in the middle of them. First it was my oldest daughter who was 17 at the time. She just moved out saying she couldn't handle it once she turned 18. I was so angry because she hadn't yet graduated and was not at all ready to be on her own. He had two pampered teen boys who "could do no wrong" and yet they did..he just never could see it. Shortly after my oldest daughter moved out, he started in on my then, 10yr old. I tried and tried to talk to him and to make peace between them. He started getting physical...grabbing her face and squeezing her jaw when they argued. I still tried to talk to him and not in front of her. When it continued because "he was the King of the Castle and I, "the Queen" was defying him, we had it out. It was a horrible situation becasue I honestly had nowhere to go but my goal was to go. It took me nearly a year and he did all he could to make that year miserable beyond belief. I did get out though and I have no regrets at all. He now tells people that he "still loves me". Oh good grief. Moon, apply for housing assistance, do whatever you can but get out of that. It isn't good for either you or your boy.

moongypsy why are you even tolerating that boyfriend how can you love a loudmouth who even bugs your own son? look you do not have to tolerate that at all. pick upo the phone call the police tell them your boyfriend is out of control and you fear for your son then press charges against the b.a.s.ta.rd for all the turmoil that is not love, that is cruelty and you do not have to take it.You can do something, get a new kind decent boy friend and marry him do not do this silly living together. it brings out int men being vicious an women thinking they have to take it.

I do understand how people can get loud sometimes and it can become a habit, maybe a bad habit. I have a loud mouth bird that has a lovely song and chirp but if you are talking to someone and he wants attention he gets louder and louder until you end up talking loud too. Sometimes that happens. If we feel we are not being listened to or pent up because we feel are not getting attention or not being understood we can get loud because we are frustrated. It is not the way to live though. I hope things calm down for you MoonGyspy and noticed you did get some really good comments.

MoonGypsy it sounds as if you are very confused. I have been reading the posts in this discussion. It seems that one minute you are saying that your bf is arguing with your son, picking on him, yelling at him and in the next post you are defending his actions saying that he just has a loud voice. It is true that people who are hearing impaired speak very loudly. I know this because I come from a family of hearing impaired people. My mother speaks very loudly but it is not in a threatening manner. I myself have a hearing impairment, but I don't yell at people. Does your son have a hearing impairment so that your bf feels that he has to speak loudly? Does your bf have a hearing impairment that would cause him to speak loudly? If not, and there is no physical reason why your husband should be yelling, then you have a real problem on your hands and you need to seek help. Not only is he yelling at your son and verbally and emotionally abusing him, he is disrespecting you as well. It sounds as though you are in denial as to what is really happening here. You need to seek out counselling or therapy to deal with the situation.

I wonder if he just doesn't possess volume control . If he's not yelling because he is angry or disciplining, just LOUD, that's my thought. There are people like that, I know many of them. In fact, I tease some of them about not having an 'inside voice' and needing to shoot a hole in my roof so I can hear myself think. How old is your son, and what is the point of your bf arguing with him? Is your son disrespecting him or is your bf PICKING on your son? See, there has to be something going on there. If I'm provoked, I will argue, but I would never start it. I didn't grow up in a house with a lot of yelling either, and I remember once at a friend's house for dinner, the yelling between her dad and sister and brother in law and their family escalated so bad that I left the table and ran upstairs and hid under my friend's bed because it scared me so bad!! I was 19 and never had I see a family dinner come to the point where I was afraid people were going to start beating each other in front of me!

I hate yelling too. I always give in or try to reason with my kids so it doesn't escalate. At times I have to go for a walk or drive just to calm down and distance myself from them.

Hello Moongypsy, regarding this discussion, for others it sounded like he was kinda abusive with the yelling. you could have just butt in there and tell them both to lower it down since you hate the yelling already. I hate yelling too as we are used to the quiet view here but unfortunately we do hear yelling in some computer shops outside our house almost every night

Oh I could feel the tension in your house. I hate that scenario and I think I cannot live like that with the yelling. The best way is to leave the house for a while or should talk to them mildly. So you did just right. I think you should tell them to lower their voice maybe they are not so aware of what they are doing.