It's different when the tables are turned
By 911Ricki
@911Ricki (13588)
Canada
August 27, 2012 12:24pm CST
My parents were sitting whining that they have no money, and my Dad hasnt been working as much (he went from $1,000 a week to $200.00 a week).
My Mom at work all day carries on how my Dad needs to get a real job. Well now she knows what its like for him for years while she sat at home, and he struggled with the bills.
All us kids are older, my sister and I pay to be here which is the only reason why they arnt in debt because we in the end pay all the bills with the rent money we pay.
I had enough of listening to her carry on, I told her maybe she should treat all 4 of her kids the same, and not favour certain ones my younger brother. By paying his bills, and his way in life isnt getting him anywhere but them in debt. By the age of 16 the rest of us were paying rent, bought our cars, and supporting ourselves whereas my younger brother is not going into college not paying a cent, not even working.
They just paid $600 in medication, then they just bought him a $2,000 laptop to go to school in September, plus all his bills. He has all name brand clothes, and so on. They are just stupid and I told her Im not lending them a penny I see how they throw their money away.
I just told her exactly what she tells me, when I couldnt afford my medication at 16 I was told to get another job or do without. So Im doing just that, and the fact they are off buying unneccessary item. My sister said the same thing, and both told them we had to fend for ourselves even in college so my brother should too. Now if he was working, that would be different, he cant hold down a job more than a day.
They make enough in a month to pay their bills plus a little. They are wasting it on things that my brother should be buying himself. He needs to learn and Im not leanding my hard earn money because I know I wont see it again. She tried pulling everything saying we got help throughout college, yet we didnt get a dime, and even my sister sided on me as she had to pay $10,000 for a computer alone for her program and she had to pay it not my parents. I just find it funny when the tables are turned its an entirely different problem, and everyone should pitch in.
5 people like this
13 responses
@NailTech (6874)
• United States
27 Aug 12
They treat you the way they do and then want you to lend them money in order to pay for your youngest spoiled brother's things that he doesn't work for. Now that makes no sense. I wouldn't lend them anything either. It is just that they know you have the money and will try any tactic to get you to pay for his stuff. He could very well be working and paying for at least half of his stuff. It's not right and I have that situation going on here but with different circumstances. It is usually the brother who works but he has so many other wierd habits and she never confronts him about them whereas she will harass my dad or I all day on something. I just hate the fact some people treat their kids all different in this respect. My dad isn't her kid but she treats my brother more like the husband ( sticks up for him, pampers him, makes his ":bed" which is the couch, makes him food, puts the fan on as soon as he comes home, lets him have the Tv the hour he comes home, and I think she makes dinner revolving around his work schedule here as well. Then at night will be watching alot of Tv together, my brother trying to keep her awake so he has someone to watch it with, he acts all disappointed if she falls asleep, it just gets wierder and wierder here, ha!), they even sleep in the same room at night (living room) now is that isn't bizarre I don't know what is. I doubt it will ever change, they do the same exact things day in and day out this way. My brother even acts like he owns this house and he does not. I'm glad they haven't had to borrow any money from me lately but they used to alot in years gone by.
2 people like this
@dainy1313 (2370)
• Leon, Mexico
28 Aug 12
Hi Nailtech, what you are passing through is soooo familiar to me. My mother did the same with my brother, til my mother get divorced. I had to go to therapy because it was so weird to me. Now my parents are divorced, and I had to move to another city. I let my brother and my mother live together as they wanted, and finally by brother had enough and made his own life, he got married last year. I knew my mother and my brother were wrong. But I have to take courage to make my own life away from them. Now, ten years later, they are moving to my town, my mother, my brother and his wife. I just wish that both of them had matured in this decade. It is not easy at all. Be strong! Blessings!... DAINY
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
27 Aug 12
hi Ricki now they should see what yo u have tried to tell them.,why do they pamper and spoil your brother like that when he should have been treated just like you and your sist er,. the idea of buying him an expensive computer,let him work and earn the money.why is he special ,is he ill some way or retarded as it just does not make sense to me?
I would not give your parents one red cent You needed medication you were made to work for it and buy
it yourself.
it yourself.2 people like this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
27 Aug 12
I think parents are that way really. They couldn't see that they're over-pampering and favoring one child over the others. I feel the same way because my parents are giving my eldest brother that treatment. They even tolerated him when he decided not to do anything for 2 years and just play computer games. They supported him when he said he was "depressed" and impregnated someone. They paid for everything he needed. He never gave back anything while me and my other brothers have been "sharing" a lot of things with our parents.
Worst, they tolerated him when he cheated his wife. They say that he just doesn't understand. They don't understand that he's got attitude problems because he feels he can get away with anything.
Have a great mylot experience ahead!
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
27 Aug 12
Now I understand how you feel beacuse you and your sister and I guess also your older brother weren't treated the way your younger brother is being treated. I bet even now if you wanted to ask for something they wouldn't pay it for you. Gifts is right though, atleast one child is always spoiled.
They are your parents, and you should help, BUT they don't deserve it so if I was in your shoes I know I wouldn't help either, no matter how bad it made me feel. They can't expect you to help them, basically help your younger brother. As is it seems they can pay for what they need to at the moment, and don't really need the money.
Sounds like an opportune time for your younger brother to realize what it's like to not have things handed to him.
1 person likes this
@silverfox09 (4708)
• United States
27 Aug 12
Sorry you had to deal with all that , but maybe your parents think you and your sister were more responsible and can handle taking care of yourselves . Most parents spoil the last child . My mother have only 2 children and she treat both of us differently because we are also different. I am in college my brother is in high school but she could count on me because I am more independent .
WE talk sometimes and she would say she would leave the house for my brother because she dont know how much he can take care of his self but she know I am a determine and hardworking person . But maybe its just they are younger and still seen as the baby of the family .
Its wrong how she talk about your dad in that way .
1 person likes this
@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
28 Aug 12
I agree, its just irritating when in the end something goes wrong they expect me to fix it or share my money. I had to work for what I have, and they have no respect for me. So in my opinion they dont deserve the help. My brother is lazy and not respo nsible the fact he cant budget, or hold down a job shows. I just find it irriating when things are said to me meanwhile Im working 4 -5 jobs to support myself and save up to move out.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
27 Aug 12
I feel for you, Ricki. Maybe it is time to really help your younger brother realize that he needs to do something to help himself on his way to college instead of relying everything from your parents.
Maybe speaking to your mom may seem to be useless coz she just feels the need of taking care of her "baby", but still both you and your sister should be in this together in talking her out of being too "clingy" to your younger brother. Coz in reality, your mom is not helping your brother to become a responsible person. It will take a little time before things go straight around your household. Don't give up. Help your brother cope with life without ever depending always to your parents. Smile!
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
28 Aug 12
It's funny that your mom doesn't see this and hadn't even noticed that you and your sister had to pay your own ways.
My parents, fortunately, didn't favour one of us. They do currently pay some of one of my siblings' expenses but she does a bunch of stuff for them so it's not favouritism, especially as if I needed help they'd help me.
@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
28 Aug 12
I agree if he was working it off then that would be different. But he sit in front of the computer all day, and waste their money driving him and his girlfriend around. In the end both are lossing as my parents will be in debt and my brother will not know responsibility. I told them I wont lend them a penny, seeing that they waste their money like this clearly they dont need the help.
@dainy1313 (2370)
• Leon, Mexico
28 Aug 12
Hi Ricky I know quite well how frustating can be when you realize that you cann´t trust your parents as you did when you were a kid. As we get older we can judge our parents, because we grow up. It´s completely natural that you have negative feelings because the situation is not fair. Just take care in the way you tell them the things. I agree that you don´t have to give them your money any more.
Avoid arguing with them in a war that could make you feel bad. Try to think the way you´ll talk to them about. Don´t be rude, because you may feel guilty later, and you may give them your money again just for the guiltness feeling. You have to be very wise and strong! Blessings!
@wilsongoddard (7291)
• United States
27 Aug 12
They have created the situation with your brother. They will just have to deal with the consequences. No, you and your sister shouldn't have to bail them out just because they are feeling the financial pinch of playing favorites.
If one kid has to pay her/his way starting at 16, the same should be true for all of the kids unless there is some medical challenge that prevents being able to function on the same level as one's siblings. I don't agree with not covering the cost of certain necessary things, such as medicine, for one's children, but your parents set the tone for the household. There's no reason for them to treat your younger brother differently.
@snowcat46 (2322)
• United States
26 Oct 12
You are NOT picking on him. They're enabling him. My mother-in-law does the same thing for some of her daughters. She supports the ones who don't want to work, but those of her children who moved out had better never ask her for anything!
When we married and wanted to buy some ground from her, we were told if we were late even one day with the rent she'd kick us out. But we had to let the sister-in-law and her hubby (who made $20 an hour APIECE) continue to live on the land. They had never payed a penny of rent in 15 years, but that was ok. They still got the house and we were supposed to build our own. And pay rent.
We have our own ground, and guess who isn't invited over? Me? I don't hold grudges... 
Me? I don't hold grudges... 1 person likes this
@JohnMarioW (5)
• United States
28 Aug 12
I think I understand the way you feel. I was my dad's favorite son. My dad bonded with me. I don't know why.
I cannot judge your parents. I don't know why they did what they did. My parents learned with each child they had. And they did their best for each of us.
My dad passed away in 1983. My mom passed away in 2005.
In lieu of that, here is my suggestion: Treasure your family. Put the disagreements aside and tell them often how much you love them.
You will have many different friends in your lifetime. Some will come and other will go. Some will be real friends. Some will not. But your brothers and sisters and parents -- they are family -- and you can never replace them.
@CTHanum (8234)
• Malaysia
28 Aug 12
I don't know what's make them see that they should help your brother even if he did nothing for them. Is it because he is the last child?? He is not even a child anymore. Your parents should change their way of thinking that your brother is an adult so he need to take care of himself by his own. They will not going to help him forever.
@liuyh0619 (108)
• China
28 Aug 12
My niece is the similar to your brother.She always buy something unnecessary such as iphone, ipad,laptop and so on. She is learning to drive right now and claim her parents should buy her a car after get the driver license. Her clothes and bags are almost the name brand. She believe it would be proud when she go to college with that. Her parents colud hardly afford it and always compain before us. I tell them they are responsible for spoiling so much before and should stop throwing money at her. If she doesn't know how tough the money come, she will never stand on her own two feet.
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
28 Aug 12
I wouldn't lend a hand either. Actually I think your parents were abusive to you not to see about your needs when you were still kids. You weren't adults. You didn't ask to be brought into this world. Does your mom even love you? it doesn't sound like it.
