Friend has a problem...

hi lovingmybabies the bext way is the honest way as she has to tell him she just is not ready yert for another child so he has to agree with her or take off for a baby making woman whose always ready to produce another child. If the men had to carry and deliver babies we sure would have a lot smaller populations for sure. There is no easy way to tell him she is not yet ready for another child.Men need to be educated more on the nine months of pregnancy and what women go through and then perhaps they would be more understanding.

Since I am a biatch, I would say it up front. Sometimes guys even girls need a smack of the truth, and it may hurt at first but they get over it. My ex (we didn't date long), would accuse me of cheating and to the point calling me 25 times a day in a row, drivin to my house, and sitting outside. He kept saying he wanted kids, and we should have kids to be perfect. I didn't want kids and told him nicely explained went right over his head, I then made a big scene at work infront of everyone (as we worked together).

I guess I'll put my two cents in even though everyone basically said what I would say. She just needs to tell him and be honest. If it's something that is suppose to work out, it will. I take it she has kids already? She just needs to explain that she's not ready to have another child, period. And, I have to add, good for her. At least she's not going to have a baby just to please her man. That she has going for her! If he loves her, he'll wait. If it's not meant to be, she'll find someone else even though right now she thinks she won't probably. I had a similar problem only just a little different. I married someone who didn't want kids, which was fine with me because I was 39 and he was 26, and I was still raising my youngest daughter who was 12 at the time. (Yes, I was married a few times). I did not want any more kids so heck yeh, that was great. We lasted almost 10 years and then divorced. He ended up marrying someone who had 3 really little kids...go figure. You just never know what exactly is in people's minds really.

The best way to deal with it is to be honest with him and tell him that if he truly loves her, he will respect her decision. If he forces her into being in that situation, I do not think that the woman would be happy with the relationship when she knows that she isn't emotionally prepared to have a child soon.

Personally I don’t really know what to say, because I don’t think I would give up a potential life partner just because we don’t really agree on what direction we want our life to go at the minute. What happens if she tells him this, and ends the relationship, only in a months time to realise she made a mistake?

The key to maintain a relationship is to be honest with each other and respect each other, if there's a problem then they can talk and discuss about it through first. No need to be rush in making decision such breaking up. Sometimes because couple has nothing in common then they can learn from each other. :)

Of course honesty is the best policy, he probably won't like it or accept it, but in the long run both needs to know where they stand so they can make a decision of whether to stay together or to cut their losses and for him to find someone that can give him a child. Whatever way she does it she will still hurt him, but what's the alternative, lie? Protect his feelings at her cost?

I have always believed that honesty is the best policy....and saying what she has to say in a kind gentle manner is the best way to deal with it....otherwise I consider it just playing games!

I don't think that she should be so worried about hurting his feelings. For one thing, it does not sound like they were really in a relationship ("Hanging out" definitely does not sound like they were in a serious, committed relationship.). For another, no decent guy would be jumping to put the "carriage before the marriage" like that; if he really wanted her, he would be looking to make a commitment to her and build a life together--and, eventually, having a child together if that was something they both wanted.

The two must talk over this matter. If she doesn't want to have a child- he must understand her reason. If he badly want to have a kid- then she must listen to his reason as well... this is a matter of lifetime commitment and only these two people can settle.

It's really difficult to give an advice on something like this. You see, whatever she would say to him, he would still get hurt. I think there's no easy way out or words that could somehow lessen the pain. If she's really decided, I guess she just have to pour out her heart with all honesty. Whatever way she would tell him, he would still end up getting hurt anyway be it less or more.

I think her best approach is direct and to the point, so that he won't be able to pressure her. I would say I am no ready and I am not sure when I will be ready. It's her body and she would have to go through all the discomfort of pregnancy, plus after the birth the primary responsibility would likely be on her. If she isn't ready she should gently say, that she is committed to him and lives him, but she isn't ready to have a child. If he persists she may want to stand firm in her decision and suggest that they go their own way, so he can find someone to have a baby with.

Just tell him straight that she is not ready, after all she's the one who's going to get pregnant and carry the baby for nine months not him:) If he really loves her then he will respect that.

Try to be honest and sincere. Just tell him her real thought, like I am not ready to have kid. Maybe we will have on ein future. Hope this words will not hurt him. have a nice day.

There is no way to Not hurt him. All she can do is sit him down and tell him the truth.

She just needs to tell him straight out that she does not want a baby right now. If he truely is into the relationship, he will wait until she is ready. If not, hit the road, Jack, and don't you come back. Its her body, and her choice.

There is no other way except to just tell him. What she can do is sit him down and explain to him why she is not ready to have another child. Also have her tell him that she understands that he wants another child, but now is just nit the right time. And who knows, she might change her mind sooner then he thinks. Thats the best I can come up with.

Hi friend, it is really a critical situation, if she is not interested in giving birth, then no one have the ability to force her. She can talk with her doctor and need her help by telling she is very week and don't have the ability to carry a baby at present. This idea will help her to avoid this problem