some partners are too paranoid!

It's not only possessive, jealous and distrustful... it's abusive. Emotional abuse injures a person every bit as much as physical abuse - and it sometimes escalates to the physical, as well. My older daughter, her very first boyfriend was emotionally abusive. They were not yet out of high school and he would tell her who she was allowed and not allowed to be friends with, what she was and was not allowed to wear, he nagged until she gave up her email password and he went through her contacts and erased all male names and details except for one man that he knew was a relative. If she told him she was going out, he demanded to know with whom and exactly what time she would be home. One time, she went shopping with me and we were gone longer than planned. When she came home, she discovered he had been calling her cell phone incessantly (but she had left it in her room) and, as we came in the door, he called the home phone. He screamed at her so loudly on the phone that I could hear him where I was standing in the kitchen and she was in her bedroom on the phone. From that moment, I took the phone, hung it up and told her he was not allowed to call my home EVER again, he was not allowed to set foot on my premises, nothing! She dug in her heels and continued to date him and our relationship got really bad... we fought all the time, screaming and crying, because the harder I tried to get her away from him, the harder she fought to stay with him. I believed he would eventually harm her physically. One night, I received a phone call -- it was him on the line and he told me my daughter was in the emergency room. He said she "fell down some stairs" and had dislocated her knee again (she has a problem with her knees). Anyway, I never got the truth (they both told me different "stories" of how she actually fell)... but I believe he did hurt her that night. Not too long after, she started staying home all the time and I finally realized they had broken up. She has never talked to me about it and she never will ... but I know she lives with painful memories now. No one should have to put up with accusations, demands, invasive and abusive behaviors... that's not love. It's just control.

My ex checked my clothes and that man is a complete idiot when it comes to the female anatomy so I'd be accused just for things beyond my control He watched some comedian on tv one day who was talking about signs of cheating. Most of them were off the wall, unrealistic, silly things meant for humor. He took it seriously. Thankfully I no longer have to put up with that bs. Truth is, that if your partner is that paranoid, its usually because they are the one being unfaithful. Their guilty mind is getting to them. So next time they start with "Where have you been? Who were you with?" You might turn it around on them and ask the same thing.

Am wondering if these partners are feeling guilty? Guilt makes people do and say strange things. Personally, I would have a real problem with a man who checked me over when I came home from being out. If he couldn't trust me, we shouldn't be together. Have been married almost 44 years and have not had any kind of "search" or my husband checking my cell phone. I have absolutely nothing to hide but would find this to be extremely bizarre. A big part of our marriage has been based on trust. Some people are jealous by nature and may have a valid reason for this jealousy.

My ex husband was like that. Calling a billion times a day asking what I was doing. Was not even able to take a shower. I was not allowed to call or to visit my family etc. My ex bf was kind of that too, always reading my post, peeping into my computer etc. Personally I would never do a thing like that. I don't feel the need to do so but I also learned my lesson. While I was thinking the ex payed of his house and debts at the bank he did not. I found out months later. In the end he left (I did not know) plus left me behind with his debts and broke (while he started all over again with someone else). My present husband has that habit too to peep into my stuff or read messages at my phone. I won't allow him since he is not allowing me to do the same to him. To be honest I think most men are like this, my friends say exactly the same. Although they are not all that obsessive or paranoid. Even the husbands/bf's who are not really that interested in their wifes/gf's seem to have that habit.

This is too extreme. I wouldn't want to marry a man who will treat me like a prisoner. I want my freedom. I used to have a jealous boyfriend though. But he did not behave like this at least.

For me, people who are like this have trust issues.. Perhaps they've experienced something in the past that made them difficult to trust someone again. These trust issues make someone anxious that something horrible might happen the second time around and they're afraid that they might get their heart broken again.

Those men would be happy under sariah law. I probably didn't spell that word right. What I was getting at was that they sound like Muslims.

i don't know in which country is this, but in spain is any of these women goes to the police the men in question goes directly to the jail ( and because the law we have, some harpy women use this to get rich at expenses of good men that didn't do nothing) but i'm totaly for that against a bad treat to your partner tolerance 0

Paranoia, i think, is a very dangerous behavioral process with simply unexplainable and overwhelming oversight of things, lol! Sometimes even the mere senseless and irrational reasoning in such cases of paranoia really makes me kind of just smile and wonder rather than get mad or else it would be the other way around, lol!

I'd say CRAZINESS! My husband used to check on my cellphone. And when he didn't find any messages, he said I just have deleted it already. Then he would check the phonebook and delete all numbers from male friends. And because of that, I no longer feel fine going out of the house on my own. I have to take any of my kids wherever I go. So even if i were to meet my best friends, i tag along my eldest son.

That is mistrust definitely,and those husbands is not right,but at the same time,why their hushand do not believe their wives?I think that is the point,so I think both the husband and wife will have the responsibility.

That's really sad and what's even more sad is that its happening a lot. I'm so thankful that my husband is not that crazy nor paranoid. Trust and loyalty have never been issues in our relationship even from the very beginning. I think people who are that paranoid probably did the vey same thing that they are scared that their partners would do to them. They created their own ghosts and now they're too chicken to man up.

I've been through that same dilemma in my married life way back. My husband used to check on my mobile phone for messages, ask many questions regarding my whereabouts the whole day even if he knew I was in the office, and used to set time that I should be home at night. It was kinda stifling so to speak so one time I had to put an end to that attitude he had towards me so I said "let's call it quits if you don't trust me enough to be faithful to our vows and there is no respect for my being your wife, there is no point in prolonging this relationship!" It was really humiliating for me being checked on from time to time but I had nothing to hide. In the end he changed his ways and learned to curve his jealous instinct but up to now I always have to be careful whom I get to talk to.

Mistrust is not fair before we are sure that the situations look the true. But positif thinking must be in front of our mind. Because everytime we are in his condition we will feel sad or mistrust. Just believe what contiditon, then make sure it true or not. Make any conclusion to back up our mind what we will do to handle this situation.

I could not live with a man who was so controlling. Yes, it sounds like paranoia to me too. The partner must have been attracted to the guy in the first place though. I wonder why they chose to marry such men. Or maybe he changed once they were married. Then too, a lot of people judge their partners by their own standards.

I know of one worst case here wherein the husband really checks and smells her knickers to check if she did anything suspicious. I think this is crazy.

Yeah all that is really awful and ridiculous. I feel bad for individuals who are in relationships like that. It is awful that someone feels they have the right to treat others that way. That is too much for anyone to have to deal with. I haven't known of anyone that has had a relationship like this that I know of.

I'm the one who's checking. It began when one time he asked me to check his phone because we were expecting my mother to send a message then he thought he heared his celphone. When I checked, I read messages of I love you's and got so mad and cried and the drama began. Then he tols me, it's from years ago if you noticed the date, I feel so stupid, so to cover up my stupidity I just said why he didn't erased it.