Spoiling the Kids

Philippines
August 15, 2015 9:52pm CST
As parents we want all the best for our children. But I believe that giving all the things that they want would bring them more harm than good. I heard someone said that if you do everything for your children, you have done nothing at all. That means you are teaching them to become more dependent on somebody like you and would never learn the value of things and people around him.
7 people like this
12 responses
@katsmeow1213 (29043)
• United States
16 Aug 15
Children need responsibilities. Getting what they want is dependent on those responsibilities. That's how it works in my house. My kids have cell phones, but if they don't do their chores I take those phones away. The twins are in Marching Band and a big part of that is fundraising. I require them to do most of their own fundraising. I'll help a bit, but they do a lot of it themselves. Nothing comes free in life and it's best for kids to learn that at a young age.
3 people like this
• Philippines
17 Aug 15
This is a good training for them and I am glad that I am not the only one doing this kind of discipline.
• Hyderabad, India
16 Aug 15
my parents made me do quite a lot of things all by myself. I hated it then but today I value it coz they taught me how to manage life and set priorities. Moreover they taught me how to differentiate between something that we really need and something that won't be useful at all. Today I try and do the same with my daughter, even though she is small but I encourage her to be self- dependant.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
17 Aug 15
Your parents taught you well because you learned what they wanted you to learn.
• Hyderabad, India
17 Aug 15
All glory to God for blessing me with amazing parents and a wonderful daughter. ??
@much2say (42560)
• United States
16 Aug 15
Yep! We teach our kids to earn things if things are what they want. But we also "try" to teach them that taking care of our own things is a great reward in itself - accomplishment, pride, and self respect. I do think doing everything hand and foot for kids is a doing a disservice to them.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
17 Aug 15
That I agree too.
1 person likes this
@rusty2rusty (6762)
• Defiance, Ohio
16 Aug 15
I believe you can give your children everything and they still can learn to appreciate life. It depends on if your actually teaching your children when you give them something. Or if you just hand it over and allow them to go on their way. My kids earn what they get. They are not handed something and sent on their merry way. I give my kids choices. Which all come with consequences if they make a bad choice.
• Philippines
17 Aug 15
You have a good point here and its clearly explained. Thanks
@Rollo1 (16685)
• Boston, Massachusetts
16 Aug 15
I think we are living in an age where most children have grown up having everything done for them. I don't know what that will lead to, they have no skills for living to pass on.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
17 Aug 15
Good observation but its not too late to teach them values.
@else34 (13586)
• New Delhi, India
16 Aug 15
That's true.If you do everything for your children,they will have nothing to do and they will not be able to be independent and strong.
• Philippines
17 Aug 15
Right. It is the independence that we want to teach them.
@dainy1313 (2352)
• Leon, Mexico
16 Aug 15
Yes, it s true, but it s also true that nobody teaches us to become parents, and we can do many mistakes, missunderstanding the word Love&pamper, and I have heard that no parent does mistakes unpurpose. So? How will we be judged? As too permissive parents? As idiot parents? Or just as "human" parents? What do you think?
1 person likes this
• Philippines
16 Aug 15
I agree with that and I see your point. Who will judge us anyway as parents but its only us who can evaluate the things that we do whether it applies or not.
@Mavic123456 (18701)
• Thailand
16 Aug 15
awww so sad but true.. good realizations then. anyway, (I am distracted by miley cyrus picture here)... there is no really a handbook of proper parenting, it is like trial and error I think. or sometimes children adapt also to their environment, I don't think blaming everything to the parents is not fair.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
16 Aug 15
I agree. No parents want their children to go astray. We do what we think is best for them.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
16 Aug 15
My eldest tried that when my nephew and niece were growing up, but they almost end up spoiled w/ tons of never ending tantrums. Now, he disciplines them when ever he sees their mistake. Sad also that you can never get them to eat vegetables but my i see my niece eating a few. Wish some day they can let go of the fast food addiction. have a nice day
1 person likes this
• Philippines
17 Aug 15
That is what I hated most, the throwing of tantrums especially if the reason is not getting what they want.
• Williamsburg, Virginia
17 Aug 15
I completely agree. Our children dont understand but they will when they get older. God bless.
@Beatburn (4202)
• Philippines
17 Aug 15
We have to remind ourselves that the true test of good parenting is when our children can survive the harsh world without us by their side. In that regard we can say our children deserve us.
@sharon6345 (161989)
• United States
16 Aug 15
I did not have a manual when my daughter was a child. I just knew I wanted the best for her. I was poor and what ever I could see her enjoy was my joy. She is now 21 and spoiled rotten. She depends on me for just about everything. She will go out and get a job but she wont keep it. I love her so much and wish I did have help with her raising.