When Do You Feel "At Home"

@GardenGerty (99413)
United States
August 31, 2015 5:58pm CST
I have not moved in over thirty years and right now, honestly, I do not feel that I have a home. It has been a long time since I have felt "at home" in my old house. I am not at home yet in my new place, although the tenant is moving out this week and taking his stuff and that will help. Hubby says when he can make a meal in a house he is at home. I think for me it is getting up the kind of curtains I like. I took my main living room drapes down today. I guess they are drapes, maybe they are curtains. Anyway I left sheers up and lace panels, but the curtains are down and washed to hang in the living room in Florence. That will make me feel more at home there. It has been bugging me. I also have drapes to take down to put up in the office area. There are many other things I need to do do, like paint the entire house, but this part is important for me to start feeling "in Place".
17 people like this
22 responses
@katsmeow1213 (29047)
• United States
1 Sep 15
I don't know. If we ever get around to moving I'll let you know. I'm hoping we might start house hunting next year.. though hubby is not quite so optimistic. He thinks we have to wait a couple of years. He's also planning on getting a car loan pretty soon so at that rate we very well may end up waiting a couple of years.
3 people like this
@GardenGerty (99413)
• United States
5 Sep 15
I know you have been back and forth about the possibility of moving. We took out a car loan last year right before I ended up quitting my job.
• United States
5 Sep 15
@GardenGerty Oh dear! I assume you were able to keep up on the payments though because you just bought a new house.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (99413)
• United States
6 Sep 15
@katsmeow1213 Our mortgage paid off less than a year after that. Hubby's work kicked up to full time, when it had just been part time, just nine months after we got the loan . Hubby is "retired" that is, he receives social security every month. We sold our paid off house because it was a money pit and turned around and bought the new one for cash. My sister lived with us for a year and paid room and board that was enough to cover the truck loan.
@nonersays (2753)
• United States
1 Sep 15
I'm sorry that you don't feel at home in your home. I sort of know the feeling. I don't feel much like my house is MINE because my husband is so overbearing. Things have to be his way all the time. He doesn't like the house to be bright so curtains are always closed. He doesn't like a lot of color so there's a lot of white and brown. He doesn't like things on the tables, so no lovely plants or stacks of awesome coffee table books. And I'm relegated to a small corner in the dining room. I've told him before I feel like a roomate with the highest rent ever (my whole paycheck)
3 people like this
@GardenGerty (99413)
• United States
1 Sep 15
I have read what goes on at your place, and he does not seem to listen at all. Hubby does not deliberately run over me, but I have had a lot of other people in and out of this door.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (157720)
• Switzerland
1 Sep 15
We move in this house 15 years ago and this is where I feel at home. I have added little things over the years. I love my home.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (99413)
• United States
5 Sep 15
I think this new place will be very homey for me. Looking forward to being through moving.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Aug 15
I guess I feel "at home" when I get back to my place after work. For several years, I have felt that wherever I was, it was just a place to eat and sleep. (and be on the internet... ) It was go to work, go home and sleep and eat. Then it was go to school, then go home to do homework and sleep and eat. I don't really have the comforts of home like a nice cushy chair or couch. I don't have a tv. Just a few tables and folding chairs and my portable bed. I have window blinds. Ugh.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (99413)
• United States
1 Sep 15
Why is that? I do not know much about you I guess. So maybe being on the internet makes you feel at home? This is the first my sister has actually had her own place, and she was sort of afraid to do it. She also has had a hard time expressing preferences.
• United States
31 Aug 15
I've never really felt "at home," I suppose. That cozy, secure feeling I imagine people get when they're snug at home is what I feel when I'm around the people I'm closest to. When I'm spending time with those I love, I feel at home, no matter what I'm at.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (99413)
• United States
1 Sep 15
I have a friend who made any place she was feel really homey. I have not felt that I could do that for a while, but it is changing now. I am glad you have people you feel "at home" with.
@allknowing (65251)
• India
1 Sep 15
You will get that feel when your drapes are up. Or did you say they were curtains I had felt at home just when I had finished designing Solitaire on paper as I had lived in every nook and corner before seeing it up.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (99413)
• United States
1 Sep 15
Well, they are not as heavy as what I consider drapes, but they are full length to the floor. I am sure designing your home was an all consuming task. What a joy!
1 person likes this
@allknowing (65251)
• India
1 Sep 15
@GardenGerty I even knew where I would place my pen - it was that detailed and when the packers unpacked and I told them what goes where they just could not believe it
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (99413)
• United States
5 Sep 15
@allknowing It was truly a part of you, I think.
@BelleStarr (38370)
• United States
1 Sep 15
We bought a second home in Florida and it felt like mine when I put my Laura Ashley quilts on the bed and bought hubby a recliner. When I go in January I will do more to make it my own.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (99413)
• United States
5 Sep 15
That sounds cozy. I can imagine it in my mind.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (38370)
• United States
5 Sep 15
@GardenGerty Being from New England I have a hard time with all the palm trees and flamingos down there.lol
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (99413)
• United States
6 Sep 15
@BelleStarr My first husband was in the Navy. He was stationed in San Diego when we got married. I was thrilled to have a palm tree in my front yard and a hedge of white geraniums and lots of "exotic" plants.
• United States
4 Sep 15
I never feel home anymore sadly. I just cant depend on places..I know that sounds crazy but that is the way it is to me.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (99413)
• United States
5 Sep 15
Home should be within our hearts and minds. If you have mastered that and are not held down by things and places, that is pretty good.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Sep 15
@GardenGerty True GG on the flip side I am not tied, but I would love a place to truly call home.
• United States
1 Sep 15
We have moved 4 times since 2001 - I get bored very easily.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (99413)
• United States
1 Sep 15
I moved a lot between 1973 and 1976 and had my fill of it then. I moved again in 1985 and now this. I think I am scared of what I will find as I go through all the nooks and crannies.
• United States
1 Sep 15
@GardenGerty Moving is the best 'down-sizer'!
• Bacolod, Philippines
1 Sep 15
When my mom cooks food for me and when I wake up like 9am if its my day off :)
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (99413)
• United States
5 Sep 15
Cooking at home is a key. Having a day to stay in sounds very homey as well.
• Bacolod, Philippines
5 Sep 15
@GardenGerty Your right! It really feels like heaven when you are in your room and watching TV then fall asleep :)
@sacmom (14315)
• United States
1 Sep 15
I've lived in the same house for almost 20 years now, and I still don't feel at home. lol
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (99413)
• United States
5 Sep 15
What prevents you from feeling at home?
@sacmom (14315)
• United States
5 Sep 15
@GardenGerty Let's just say that I have my reasons! lol
@Shellyann36 (9616)
• United States
1 Sep 15
There are times when I feel as if I am not at home as well. Normally it is when life is hectic and the house is not clean. I can understand why you feel as if the home is not complete without the curtains/drapes. Once you get your things moved into the new home your feelings will start to change for you.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (99413)
• United States
1 Sep 15
I have never been good at keeping house, at least not my house. I can do for others okay. I am glad to be sorting through and getting rid of some things as well. It will help. Hubby will have a shed/shop although I have told him I want one small corner for painting and refinishing projects. It will help.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Sep 15
@GardenGerty Having a shed/shop will make a world of difference! Hubby has his own shop and he keeps his tools in there and they don't clutter up the house. I will be glad when you are settled in your new home and you feel at home.
@GreatMartin (4541)
• Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
2 Sep 15
For most of my life I have averaged a move every 5 years--for the last 16 years I have lived in one place and I couldn't tell you what makes it home except I look forward to coming here every day from wherever I might be. Never was a homebody but I think age has changed that!
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (99413)
• United States
2 Sep 15
I am becoming more of a homebody as I get older, but hubby is older than I and he is quite the socializer.
@ZHVegas (252)
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
1 Sep 15
Well, for me at least, there's no home, anywhere I can smile and be free It's where I am happy, If I am happy, I am at home, mainly if I am with my friends, they are the ones I call family afterall.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (99413)
• United States
5 Sep 15
Good to have friends to share with and be happy and free.
@Hate2Iron (7858)
• Canada
1 Sep 15
I feel that I'm finally at home when I begin to collect memories of the new house. Sadly, it seems to take a while. We have been in this house for 5 years and it's just beginning to feel like home... and now we are moving again!
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (99413)
• United States
5 Sep 15
Do you move because of a job situation? We are moving as a retirement thing.
@LeaPea2417 (20461)
• Toccoa, Georgia
1 Sep 15
Once everything is in the place that you want it, then I am sure you will call it home.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (99413)
• United States
5 Sep 15
I think when all my stuff is moved to the new place and I have things in all the rooms I will feel at home.
@Rollo1 (16689)
• Boston, Massachusetts
1 Sep 15
It's hard to adjust to a new place. Even just finding things in cupboards and drawers. So much of what we do every day at home becomes second nature, we have to learn the routine and the layout by heart, and it takes time to become ingrained.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (99413)
• United States
5 Sep 15
The house I am in has not been comfortable for a long time as it is not finished well. I hope to have that in the new one.
@SIMPLYD (79762)
• Philippines
1 Sep 15
Maybe you can start feeling at home when all that you want the house to appear is already done .
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (99413)
• United States
5 Sep 15
Well, it will be a while before things are all as I would like, but this house has potential to be what I want.
@Susan2015 (20597)
• United States
1 Sep 15
Once you get certain things in place it should be a lot better.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (99413)
• United States
5 Sep 15
I hope to get some new appliances and put them in place. Actually we will be doing a major kitchen renovation combining two kitchens into one.
@1wldngl (3991)
• United States
1 Sep 15
Bless your heart. I hate moving. We are in a little house that we are finishing as we have the money. So...it's kind of messy and things aren't as they should be yet. But...it's where my guys are and that's home to me.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (99413)
• United States
1 Sep 15
I never move. So this is a big project.
1 person likes this