Do you ever feel like your responses aren't appreciated?

United States
April 14, 2007 4:45pm CST
Just recently I posted on a topic about homosexuality, like most you probably did. Yet, when I went to see if anyone responded. Only to have find that 2 lesbians had "ban together" to bash me and try to make me look like an egotistical, sexest butthead. Sadly, they only made themselves look stupid, because neither of them made since. I was never rude in my response. I tryed to give my personal opinion in the most respectful manner, only to get "yelled at". Funny thing is, they did thank me for not preaching lol. Not just that, but a lot of the time I will see that there is a bunch of people getting responses and I don't get anything. Anyone else feel that mylot is no longer becoming a discussion board, but a place for people to come and mock others? I know I do.
4 people like this
19 responses
• Philippines
15 Apr 07
There are times when some of my responses are evidently not appreciated. To support this claim, very few come with odd remarks. I understand that there are some who will take time to acknowledge the responses they are getting for some reasons. This happens to me, too. Whenever I get hold of the computer, I try to make some responses to my friends' discussions first before going into mine. However, a visitor may come and cut my stay in the computer or my kids will ask to relieve me. When this happens, I can no longer read the responses I get and thus I get to them only much later still. It's odd how those two lesbians joined together to nail you during the discussions. I hope this will never happen to me. I cannot recall having responded and come across that discussion of yours. Maybe I will have to see if I really did not. You got me curious there.
• United States
15 Apr 07
Thank you for your commment. I really do not think too much on the fact that people do not response. More less the ones that are rude. This topic was interesting though. Even the person who posted said "I will regret this" and those woman went to any negative response and bashed them. I was like... "really???" are you kidding? I just really felt it was rude. Thank you again.
@raijin (10373)
• Philippines
15 Apr 07
I do understand how you feel, we do not put our best minds into a response just to have it bashed. But once we have let go of our thoughts we must treat it like parents treat a newly wed child, they are no longer in our hands. Once we have published our thoughts it will be subject to criticism, irregardless of how knowledgeable the critic might be or how valid their arguments may be. Especially when we respond to a sensitive topic where we could hit anyone's nerve without even knowing what we have done. There will be different types of people who will read your response, and that is actually a good thing, it means that your response has something in it, something that sparked an idea, whether positive or negative, in someone else's mind. These people come from different continents, different cultures, ways of life, upbringings, and experiences. They will have varying reactions and responses to our ideas as much as we think the same of their ideas. That though is the good and bad thing about mylot. Although, personally I would like to treat it more of a good thing and a necessary evil. Mylot enables a global interaction of ideas, this is where looks, age, and everything else physical will not put a predisposition to how your idea is appreciated, or in other cases, bashed.
• United States
15 Apr 07
I agree with you 100%! Best response to date. YET! There is a way to give someone your "negative response" or "bash" someone without being rude. These woman were just plain rude though. They flat out bashed "men" as a whole as if were barbariac beasts with no soul, and gave no thought of respect. They flat HATED men. So, I agree, but really?? Some people can just be plain RUDE! I appreciate you though. That was a VERY good point. Thank you.
1 person likes this
@raijin (10373)
• Philippines
15 Apr 07
Thanks for the best response. There are indeed people who let themselves be controlled by their so called beliefs, ie feminism etc, rather than be critical, rational, logical and most of all respectful of other's ideologies and idiosyncrasies. We should respond to the discussion and not necessarily to the person. Because ultimately the discussions that we write are just glimpses of who we are and does not in any way represent a person's full range of understanding of the world at large. Being rude to the person instead of making valid points or counterarguments begs them to be labeled as mediocre. Don't let them sway you. Thanks again!
• United States
15 Apr 07
Very well put. I think that when we respond to someone, especially as something as opinionated as homosexuality. We should do it in a manner that lets the person now that this is an opinion and not "the way it is".
@charms88 (7543)
• Philippines
15 Apr 07
Oh my lord, welcome to the real world of forum. I have my fair share of members attacking me. I just leave them and move on. There's no sense in trying to stoop down to their level. I'm not a confrontational bunny and I always emphasized to everyone that I respect their opinions. I recently posted a discussion about homosexuality too. When the poster marked me as best response, I tried to check my response. To my amazement, four members had attacked me and I have no idea about it. Just shrugged them off. We can't please everyone.
• United States
15 Apr 07
Very good point. We can't please everyone. The only thing that upsets me about it, is when people are rude. These people pointed out that men were "beastly, sexest lust mongars" I don't normally get upset, but really to point at men and tell everyone we are horrible people? really?
@charms88 (7543)
• Philippines
15 Apr 07
Stick to what you believe, lord. I don't see anything rude with your responses. Our mind have its own views. Happy posting.
@Stiletto (4584)
15 Apr 07
I suppose sometimes I do feel as if my response has been unappreciated or misinterpreted but that's life I suppose. Online forums are like that aren't they? I would say myLot is actually more polite than a lot of others I've seen or heard about. Most people on here are ok but there are also quite a few idiots and troublemakers which is again I suppose just a fact of life. These people are everywhere and I've found it's generally best to treat them with the contempt they deserve. I also think it's important to keep these things in perspective. I've noticed a lot of people seem to get very emotionally involved in myLot and really when all's said and done it's just another online forum. Does it really matter so much whether others on here appreciate you? Do their opinions really matter that much? Actually you hit the nail on the head in your own post when you said these people that ganged up on you "only made themselves look stupid". It's often the case that the more people try to make others look stupid or bad the more foolish they make themselves look to others. Just ignore them.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Apr 07
Exactly. I have heard a lot of people say "ignore them" I agree. I guess, for me, this is just the first time it has happened. Naturally, I felt I should try to see if anyone else felt this way. Thank you. I will just ignore them next time as you said :)
@Asylum (48278)
• Manchester, England
15 Apr 07
I have encountered this on a few occassions, but fortunately it is not a frequent thing here at Mylot. Like yourself, I would not pass judgement on others and never post derogatory or unkind statements, but there is always someone who will jump on their favourite soap box to preach their pet subjects, even if it means having to pretend that you have been offensive.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Apr 07
Exactly. As you said it isn't frequently, so we can be thankful for that. This is my first encounter of this, that's why I wanted to post on it. It just seems they are actually trying to make you look like the bad person. Luckily, it doesn't work most the time.
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
15 Apr 07
I always reply to the responses I am given on any discussion. I hate when people try to be rude just for the sake of being rude. I saw your comment and the others. I am not saying whether or not I agree with you or them, I will however say that everyone is entitled to their opinion and there is no need to bash on anyone for being honest and stating their honest opinion. That's why you see so much rear end kissing here. Best Response to whoever thinks exactly like me. No one wants to go against the grain because of exactly what happened to you. I always answer honestly, and if someone doesn't like my point of view, than too bad for them.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Apr 07
I agree with you whole heartedly. I think the one thing that got to me, was they bashed "men" as a whole. It wasn't more of an hey "some people" can be this way. They flat out where bashing men. If you bash something, don't bash it as a whole. I know some men can be that way, but I am not one of them. So, for them, to point the finger at men as whole, was very rude. That is probably the only thing that got to me. I probably shouldn't have gotten upset as I did. Yet, they could have been a little nicer about their point of view. I agree that everyone has an opinion though, that is what this site is about. Thank you for pointing this out. Very true.
• India
15 Apr 07
It happens to me most of the tie my discussion never get moer than 10 responses well thats the highest i hae ever got. And the lowest is zero. now talk about that. It feel very bad when you go unnoticed. ABut, i have got usedn to it Now dont care how many responses i get to my discussions.
• United States
15 Apr 07
I totally agree. I get "hurt feelings" when I don't get any responses to a post. This is more of pointing at a situation where I responded and some people got very rude and disrespectful to my response. Very good point though. It can be dissturbing when you post a topic and no one "cares" to respond. Best of luck, friend.
@samrat16 (2442)
• India
15 Apr 07
I think friend even you were rude expressing your thought. youdontsay and valyushah never misbehaved in their comment. I am sorry if you feel that I have got something wrong from what you were trying to say. These people were just trying to protect themself and were advocating their community . I think you should go back and have a look at comments again . http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/980928.aspx?p=2
• United States
15 Apr 07
I am sorry, sam, but in all do respect. Those woman were very rude. Maybe not, youdontsay, as much as valy. If you read valyushahs' response. She talks as if I was not going to "hear her". She even at the end, says that "people should think before they talk". Where I come from those are rude and disrespectful things to say to someone. Why don't you just tell soemone to not talk anymore. Your opinion doesn't matter to me. I am sorry, I am not putting you down in any manner. I appreciate and respect every opinion you give. YET! Those woman were very rude in "how" they said it. Where you come from that might just be an opinion, but for me, they said it as if my opinion was rude and disrespectful. The only thing I said that might be rude was the fact that I would kick the crap out of a gay guy for hitting on me. There is a long, long way between "hitting on" and flirting. Which I did go back and restate. Honestly, sam, I hope this doesn't come between us, but if anyone needs to "reread" the post you and those 2 woman need to. If you also, reread the whole post. They were bashing anyone who was negative about the question, regardless. Thanks for your opinion. I will always appreciate it :)
@maucute (980)
• Philippines
15 Apr 07
I've never thought about that even if I've been here for a month now.. :) I think it's a matter of how they understand our response in their own way, but it's quite hard if one is not open-minded and does not really understand what we really mean.. Don't think about it that much on the responses that you get, I sometimes experience that also but don't worry that much..
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Apr 07
Good point. I know I shouldn't care, but sometimes it just gets to me when I am trying to be respectful and they just blow up on me for no reason. I will really try to not let it get to me though. Thank you.
• Philippines
15 Apr 07
I can relate to you. There was one time that I replied on this post about blonde jokes. The one who started the post apparently didn't like me spoiling their fun because he/she replied to everybody except me. I don't remember being rude, I even said her/his joke is funny and I liked it. Oh well, I guess we just can't please everybody, right? Just don't let negative thoughts creep into you buddy, mylot is still a place for sensible discussions, it's just that there are people with "bad habits" no matter where we go...
• United States
15 Apr 07
Thank you for that. I really do think as people we strive on negative thoughts. It shouldn't bother us, but it always will. Reguardless of what we tell people. I am trying to not let the "hate flow through me" ( i am such a star wars geek lol) but I sometimes just blow up. It's mainly when I am trying to be nice and some just get very rude with me. Once again thank you, I will remember that. :)
@fliffy555 (1045)
15 Apr 07
I sometimes feel my discussions are not appreciated either. I always feel that mylot is a place where people do not come to discuss but more take the pi$$ out of people and throw slander than to actually rightfully earn a bit of pocket money and have a good, decent convasation. Im very sorry to hear that those girls where like that towards you but you also have to remember that you are mocking them by starting this convo (I dont mean that in a harsh way I was just pointing it out) although I too have been subjected to people having a go at me. I recently started a discussion entitled 'do you read the entire discussion or just the discussion title' I think you replied to it extremely well for me. But there was a certain person who just wrote, 'I think this is a stupid discussion I have responded to'. Obviously others had a go to asking why he/she had responded to it if they thought it was stupid. The next day though they started a new discussion saying something like - put your question in the title if you want people to respond. I was livid. Although I have done this to one other person (Id like to point out he was scum) I didnt see any harm in my discussion? People on mylot are strange (many are lovely I am not branding it as weirdlot or something lol!) But I have also noticed that if ONE person disagrees with you many will. I have learnt NEVER to express my opinion unless I back it up well. Again - Sorry this happened to you. Hope it doesnt happen again! Fliffy
• United States
15 Apr 07
lol. You make me smile. You have a very good point. I REALLY was trying to make this a good question here. I still will probably get some good response. None the less, I was "venting my anger". Those woman were "scum" and diserve none the less. Yet, no none really wants to here me whine. I am sorry, it came out that way. I didn't mean it to. I guess in the future I should not write on topics that have upset me. I will keep this in mind. Thank you. I do remember posting on that topic of yours though. Thank you for the compliment. I do try to give my best opinion possible, not just some quick, easy sentence that you can't respond to. O well, thank you agian, and best of luck to you as well.
• United States
15 Apr 07
These things happen to everyone, one way or the other. I stay away from posting controversial topics, but still see some respondents giving me surly remarks. I think it's because we don't really see each other here, and all we could do is predict what's in the mind of the poster. Sometimes, we often conclude about the point of the poster without trying to understand the whole thing. As far as responding goes, your friends should be at least responding to your discussions. Perhaps like me, some of them have problems with their notifications (mine would always be "off" even if I turn them "on"). Some people get tons of responses because they have tons of friends helping them out, too. Happy myLotting!
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Apr 07
I agree. Sometimes we don't see the whole situation. Still, I was just upset, because I responded to someones question as polite and respectful as possible. Yet, I get a very rude response. It can be mind numbing. I do understand that not everyone is going to respond to your responses though. Some people do, where others done. I just have noticed it is becoming more and more common that "no one cares" Sad really. I enjoy mylot.
@marlyse (1056)
• Switzerland
15 Apr 07
im sorry to hear that Lordgregor. i didnt see this discussion. might come across sometimes i hope. i did realize the same about no ansers to our posts. but i dont mind, because i am very careful now where i post. there are lots here, who post one discussion after another and never go back to check. they are not interested in talking, only in money. and some might have forgotten about the older discussions. i think these are the reasons why we dont get many responses.
• United States
15 Apr 07
That is true, I know sometimes it is hard to get back to all your posts. I try to respond to as many as possible. Sometimes, our responses aren't that interesting to some people as well. What interests another might not interest you as much. Good point. Thank you.
1 person likes this
14 Apr 07
Oh LordGregor, they are foolish peasants to mock a Mighty and powerful member of the Sith. As your humble servant I will race to fetch your lightsabre and you can administer swift justice to them. It surprises me that with over 85,000 members there aren't more that reply to sensible discussions. I bet this one gets lots of replies.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Apr 07
LOL. It is good to hear I still have one good apprentice. I will watch your career with much percision. Now, let us make haste to strike down those who oppose us!! Honestly, I hope this discussion does get traffic, but really I am just curious if anyone has seen rude people like those 2 on mylot yet.
@Calais (10900)
• Australia
14 Apr 07
Sometimes, I always go back and check my responses, most of the time there is a comment, but sometimes there isnt. If I start a discusion I always respond back, with some sort of comment, if there is no need for one well then I would just thank them. But I have not come across rudeness as yet, but Im sure it is out there.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Apr 07
I know there are those that actually do read the post and respond and actually have discussions on here. Just seems some people are only on here to make money, and let their voice be heard!! It is like really dude.
• Malaysia
15 Apr 07
erm... sometimes.. i do feel my responses are not appreciated by the person.. but.. we're here to give opinion isn't it? we are willing to give our opinion without being asked isn't it? so.. why should we care if they were to listen to us or not? they do have their rights to choose whose comment is the best right.. all we can do is.. try our best :) ..
1 person likes this
@thefuture (1751)
• Nigeria
15 Apr 07
No I have never felt like my response are not appreciated, but on a contrary, there have been great response to my discussions. I think for you discussion to have a good response, your discussion must have a positive heading. Thanks and have a nice day.
@toplen (335)
• Philippines
15 Apr 07
Most of my discussions get really low number of responses. I even have one discussion that still has no response up to this time. I thought maybe i don't make good discussions enough to get the attention of other mylotters. Even with this, i still strive to make good discussions and answer posted discussions satisafactorily. My advice is to not feel bad about it, and not get affected by others' opinions. We're here to give our opinions anyways and i think not everyone has the same opinions about a certain subject. Accept that sometimes we will be criticized (or mocked, for that matter). The good thing we should do is to consider it a challenge or another lesson learned. We're here to earn anyways, not mind other people's affairs...
• Indonesia
15 Apr 07
I think we dont really see each other here, and all we could do is predict what's in the mind of the poster.
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