At the end of a relationship, would you rather be the one being left behind or

I have been in both cases before and its not easy being left behind or the one leaving. Either way is painful however I did find that leaving was the hardest for me. I was in a 7 year relationship and it was one of the hardest decisions I had to make and finally had the guts to leave something that was never going to be. It is always hard to start again, but I did!

It's never any fun to be the one left behind even if the ending is for the best. It's almost always painful for someone to leave another even if it's a friendship.

The ending of a relationship for me would be the discussion we two adults would be having deciding it be best to go our separate ways. Coming to an agreement and moving on in a healthy manner. Perhaps the occasional phone call but definitely not responsible to each other any more. Fond memories and a peaceful parting of the ways. Much preferable to the fighting and accusations and evil thoughts and such. Can be done.

a relationship is a two way street if it will end is because someone will leave and someone will be left behind. and no matter who will leave it is hard to say goodbye. specially if the relationship lasted for so long already. people change and sometimes we need to grow or move alone. there are a lot of reasons too why a relationship have to end. my cousin was married for 30 years and her husband left her, for what reason i dont know. it was a shock for us but there is nothing we can do but pray for her to be strong and to get on with her life. no matter who left or who was left behind, you need to be strong and to learn your lessons. go on, move on. life has a lot to offer.

It never hurts as much to be the one leaving as to be the one who has been left behind. Being left, sometimes leaves you flaying for answers, for ways to change your whole life and looking for someone new. I'd much rather be the one that is leaving.

For me I wouldn't want to be either but I have been on both sides of the fence I have had someone leave me..That was my husband years ago when we split up for awhile and in the in between I was with someone else And I chose to leave I found it just as hard from both sides..A little harder being left because I was so much in love..but the one I left I loved him too it was hard but I bounced back alot quicker because that relationship was all together wrong...

In both my long term relationships I have always been the one to leave, it is far easier and less painful that way, besides my first partner was able to buy me out which made a lot of difference and the second one was mentally abusive both through control and manipulation so I am more than glad to leave!

I think I've experienced being both. The thing is, there are so many reasons why a relationship would fail. You can't predict it. Being either one would be possible no matter how you feel right now. Best thing to do is just enjoy your current relationship and love one another. Then you should have no regrets no matter how it turns out. Good luck!

I do not really think that it matters to me. I think that it is hard from both sides. I know that i broke up my last relationship, and i am pretty sure that it was as hard for me as it was hard for him.

Hello Zelmarq! I have loved only one lady and she happens to be my wife. It may sound strange but, I never loved anyone as such before my marriage, not even my wife. In fact I didn't even know her before two months of our marriage. In our culture, still marriages are by far 'arranged' with the consent of the concerned individuals i.e. boy and the girl. I am glad that my parents searched a wonderful lady for me and I am all in love with her. Our relationship got stronger and stronger with the passage of time. I can't believe or don't know if we can ever leave each other. If however, such a chance arise somehow (in fact it is difficult for me to even think that it is possible), I'll be the last one to end the relationship. I know she has brought bliss, happiness and joy in my life. Whatever happiness that I now have seems to be because of her. How can I leave her? is something impossible for me especially given the fact that she is so wonderful. I'll however, accept, for her happiness, if she would ever like to leave me. I can't end this relationship which is valuable to me even much more than my own life. Simply impossible, at least at this point in time and space!

Hello there Zelmarq! At this point in my life with all the experiences that I have been through I would say that I would rather be the one leaving, rather than left behind. In both situations the pain is often more that we can imagine but to be left behind can sometimes feel unbearable! I think it is the constant questioning in myself such as what did I do wrong? Was I not good enough for him? It is questions like that which come from within that makes things harder for me to handle. I would rather be the one leaving because I would be full aware of my reasons and intensions. If there was any blame to be placed it would be on me, because I chose to walk away. In my recent situation my kids and I have been the one left behind. It has truly been hard and I would often wish that the tables were turned and I was the one who decided to leave because maybe then it wouldn’t hurt as much mentally but only in my heart, which I feel, would be much easier to accept. If I had a choice I would choose neither but the fact is, it is a part of life that we can not change no matter how much it hurts us.

If the relationship has to come to an end, I will try my best to keep it. But if I cannot retain it, then I think that it is better to leave without letting both party feel painful. Anyway we will have to face the reality.

I am the one left behind. I really don't like the feeling of being left behind. It hurts a lot but there's nothing I can do. I have to accept it and move on with my life. When I enter a relationship, I don't want it to end. To answer your question, I don't want any break up to happen, but I don't want to get left behind again.

too bad for me.. im such in a situation like it,, i dunno actually what id choose.. for i dont want any of the two to happen.. everyone knows leaving is never easy.. sometimes, there are some reasons where you're left with no choice but to leave.. and there are times that you chose to leave because you're just causing the other pain, where as it'd be better to call it off than to let your partner suffer over and over again.. but there are times, people just want to leave because they want to, they seem to be never contented with what they have or rather they havnt found happiness yet.. on the other hand, being left behind sounds like you're so much into aching, suffering, but if you'd look at both in every angle they're just the same.. painful.. when you're left behind, you seem to wanna hold him back, the feeling of you wanna ran after him and ask for chances and blah blah.. but again, something holds you back of not doing so, because you know you're better of separated.. sometimes, destiny change base from circumstances, we have to love ourselves to0.. but between the two, id rather not choose any.. for as long as i can handle things that are in my hands, i wouldnt want any of the two to happen.. have agood day my friend!;p

I make sure that if I am in a relationship and its not going the right way, I am the one who leaves...I could never see myself being left behind by the people I was with..I would've really felt like something was wrong with me...

I had a bad Marriage for 21 years I will not go into details but then after those 21 years I could not take anymore the Ex Husband once again started a row and then walked out with his bags I was so relieved after a week he wanted to come back and could not understand why I had not phoned and begged him to come home like I used for all those years well he got a shock I did not take him back so I think it was a bit of both

Well I would definitely want to be the one ending the relationship rather than the one being dumped. Like most people I have been on both sides of the fence and both are hard in their own particular way, I think the worst, most painful thing to go through is when one partner meets someone else and unexpectedly and suddenly finishes the relationship. This has happened to me and it was quite hard to get through, especially as I hadn't got a clue anything was going on. But then again I did something similar to someone else which I still feel guilty for. I would still rather be the one doing the dumping though.

Relationships end for many reasons, and you are right it does hurt, but if I was put in the position you spoke about I would want to be the one that leaves. And the reason for this is it was my decision, where as if some one leaves me I would feel that I was a failure in some way. We are famous for going around living with the "should of's, could haves and what if's. At least I am famous for that. and it kept me in a relationship for many years because I felt that if I left I some how given up. But my ex husband was the sort of person who never never took responsibility for his family nor his actions. he believed that the world owed him a living, and he is still waiting for it to happen. I gave up after 27 years. I understand your not wanting to hurt, someone but you also have to protect your self. if you keep putting your self last, that is where you will end up. I know I did that and you want to talk about pain.

I just don't know pal. I cannot make up my mind up to now. I've been thinking a lot about your post as to where should I make my stand but somehow, I realized that we can really never tell what will happen next. We can be both be involve in the 2 situations you've mentioned and one thing I know is for sure, It'll be really hard for us to adjust and let go and accept the fact if that thing will soon happen to us. (I'm crossing my fingers that It won't.) Well, let us just all be strong when this crisis in life comes our way. Everything has it's own reasons why It should happen anyway. Right friend? ;)

some relationships end up with a heart, i mean both of you are not growing in the relationship and both of you decide that it is time to move on. so neither of you are the leaver and the one left behind. It is painful to end relationships since we people are possessive and we want good things to last forever, but they are things that we should leave behind so that we can grow. I have experience both, I was once been left behind and I end up the relationship sometimes too for reasons which I am the one who could only understand. to love somebody is to be vulnerable to pain, pain is present and always there. but if you end up with a heart, then perhaps there would be less pain.