Mummymo Gets Angry!
By mummymo
@mummymo (23706)
May 13, 2008 11:41am CST
Ok anyone here who knows me knows that I always try to see the good in people and look for the bright side of any situation, anyone who knows me at all knows that my 2 children are the most important and wonderful things in my life and that they are the main focus of my life, just as with any mother.
Today Niamh (6) came home from school and got changed - she put a skirt on as the weather was really nice and as she was bouncing around all over the place we noticed a deep ling scratch on her bottom just below her panties. It turned out that at lunchtime one boy in her class had held her whilst another was grabbing up her skirt, she tried to get away but couldn't and this boy of 6 had left the scratch on her! I felt sick and so, so angry. When I asked why she hadn't hit them to make them leave her alone she told me it was because she was at school and didn't want to get in trouble! My poor baby is very brave and also very strong and could have defended herself but didn't want to get into trouble!
I have been to the school and spoken with the Deputy Headteacher, she had already spoken to one of the boys parents but didn't know the whole situation and was going to have to get both sets of parents into the school to sort this situation out and she couldn't have been more understanding. These boys are going to have to be kept indoors under supervision whilst the other children are out playing. They did not even question Niamhs side of the situation as she is well known as a very good student who is helpful and kind to other children and very rarely complains about anything! I am struggling to understand how boys of such a tender age would think to have one hold a girl while the other felt up beneath her skirt!
Sorry I disappeared so suddenly from certain discussions but I know you understand that my family comes first! I am off to spend time with my kids but hopefully when my daughter goes to bed I will be back - as long as I have calmed down enough as right now I am very angry and feel sick! Have you ever came across anything like this in children so young? What would you have done in my situation - I did tell the headteacher I have told Niamh that if anyone EVER tries to do anything like that again or if she is in danger at all then she will use violence to protect herself - I expected resistance or argument and met none! In fact she backed me up by telling Niamh she knows that she wouldn't do anything to hurt any other pupil but if she was in danger and needed to protect herself then she must do whatever she needs to to stay safe! Some common sense there then! Sorry for ranting but I had to get this off my chest my friends! Thanks for listening and hopefully see you soon! xxx
17 people like this
33 responses
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
13 May 08
GO MUMMYMO! Kudos to you and your brave little Niamh too. Both of my kids are non-violent, but they know how to defend themselves when they have to. Like you, I made sure of that when they were starting school. We live in an increasingly uncivilized society I'm afraid mummy. So I'm glad that your daughter as well as the school authorities agree with your teaching her to defend herself. As long as she understands that force is to be used only for self-defence, then I see no problem with teaching her that.
Boys of that age are curious, nasty little beasties at times, and girls like Niamh will put them in their place soon enough. Let's hope the boys learn from this and don't carry this behaviour into adolescence.
4 people like this
@mummymo (23706)
•
13 May 08
I just hope that they never do anything like this again! I think it is more that they worked as a team to make sure she couldn't get away that freaked me out too! Isn't it ironic that in a play fight with Older and bigger people Niamh'll defend herself but when she needs to do so she doesn't want to risk getting into trouble at school! I am sure when she starts Judo in August her self defense will get even better and more disciplined - specially with my brother teaching her! xxx
3 people like this
@mummymo (23706)
•
14 May 08
My brother runs a judo clubs park honey but he likes the children to be 7 before they start - he feels it is hard for a lot of children to understand the discipline and self discipline involved if they are younger - Niamh can't wait to get started but she has less than 3 months to go!
I wish I could make sure they wore dresses for a week! Niamh has just left for school and my heart is breaking - I have never felt like that before. I know she will be fine and I will stop whinging at you now! xxxx
1 person likes this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
14 May 08
She's getting Judo lessons? Good for her! There's no better power base against boys/men than a girl having complete confidence in her own body! Well done.
And yes, boys acting like this as a team is a very scary thing. I hope their parents tan their hides and make them wear dresses for a week!
3 people like this
@Angelwhispers (8978)
• United States
13 May 08
Mo, this made me sick to my stomach just reading it. Raising boys is one thing, but when something like this happens to a little girl it sets my hackles on end. I have a grand daughter now, and I think I would absolutely blow a major gasket if she were to be treated like this. I am dreading it. Emily starts kindergarten this next fall. If the teacher and principles thought I was a tough cookie with my boys they have seen nothing yet.
Mo girls must be equipped to handle any situation that gets thrown at them. Kudos MUM! You did good! You don't worry about it go play with your children.
4 people like this
@Angelwhispers (8978)
• United States
13 May 08
I would never slap you! lord no but I would make you sit down take some deep breaths and have a cup of Tea and give you a chance to talk about it.
3 people like this
@mummymo (23706)
•
13 May 08
Thanks Angel - they are both in bed now and I won't be far behind! I wish I had had you here with me today sweetheart - not for the toughness I had that but just to give me a slap or something to stop me feeling shaky and sick! If your Emily is anything like Grandma she will be awesome! xxx
2 people like this
@wolfie34 (26770)
• United Kingdom
13 May 08
At least the situation is nipped in the bud and hopefully sensitively dealt with, as you know I have worked in a primary school and have seen how children young as 4 can start bullying others and some are really really sly and crafty they wait till your back is turned, unfortunately you cannot watch them 24/7. It sure did open my eyes up, it was like bullying at 4? You start to get a sixth sense about what children are capable of bullying from a young age and those that are liable to be bullied. You want to protect them but they have to learn to fight their own battles and yes in this situation it's the devil and the deep blue sea because if Niamh didn't strike out they would continue but if she did, she feels she'll be punished and you can understand that. I got angry reading that after seeing Niamh and hearing this, well that got my talons showing, sending you hugs and hopefully it can be sorted xxx
@mummymo (23706)
•
13 May 08
Oh my lovely darling brother Thank you! I wish I could have a real wolfie clinch right now! I always thought Niamh wouldn't be bullied but she doesn't want to hurt kids her own age and I guess it isn't so much the fact they bullied her but the way it was done! The school have been very supportive , they usually always are so I am hopeful they will sort this out! xxx
5 people like this
@Shaun72 (15959)
• Palatka, Florida
13 May 08
I don't blame you a bit. I can't belive kids are that sick at this age to want to mess with another child of there same age. I don't blame you a bit for telling her to do what she has to do to protect herself from danger of this sort. That is sad what this day has came to. I almost want to tell my sister to warn her. My little 5 year old neice starts school this year and reading this really worries me.
4 people like this
@mummymo (23706)
•
13 May 08
You know Shaun I have worked with children a lot in the past and I have seen a lot of name calling and bullying in children this young but never anything like this! I am sorry if I worried you with this but I just had to vent as I was and am so upset by it - wish I was as strong as my daughter! I know a lot of people don't agree with me but I am a great believer in educating our children in what is inappropriate and how to defend themselves if they find themselves in a bad situation from a very early age but I never really thought I would have had to worry about 6 year old boys! xxx
2 people like this
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
13 May 08
Now Maddysmommy is angry - I am sorry to hear this mummymo and would of reacted the same way, maybe more. I too would of marched myself down to the school and probably screamed at the headmaster and told them what the hell are they doing? where is the supervision for when they are in the playground playing? are there no teachers around? They better get in touch with the boys parents because if they don't, I know I would, and make sure those boys are reprimanded.
I think you did great in that situation as I know I may of lost it. My son means everything to us and if anything happened to him at school,they will be seeing the one side of me that none of them have seen in me before. Not only that, they have his father to answer to and I know that will not be pleasant.
I'm glad that the headteacher was very sympthetic and is doing something about it. Keep us updated please and I hope Niamh is ok after that horrible incident.
HUGS and prayers :)
4 people like this
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
13 May 08
I'm sure she would of knocked some sense into both of them if she wanted to. I just can't believe six year olds would do that.
3 people like this
@mummymo (23706)
•
13 May 08
Oh Honey thank you so much! I know the school are definitely going to have both boys parents come into school and they will be encouraged to implement their own punishments as well as the school punishing them! Niamh is doing really well. she is a brave little trooper really - if the boys had been older she would probably have defended herself but she doesn't want to hurt kids her own age and especially didn't want to get in trouble with the school! I am sure that now she knows she won't get in trouble she will defend herself if anything like it happened again and to be honest I am sure they would both come off worse for wear ! Thanks for the Hugs and Prayers they mean a lot as I am still a mess! xxxx
3 people like this
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
13 May 08
How could you be anything but livid, mummymo? Those boys need some real punishment, so they learn that what they did is NOT acceptable in any circumstances and that kind of behavior will not be tolerated. Actually, they should probably be suspended for a day or so, but they might like that, being off of school, so never mind about that one. I guess that having to stay inside while the other kids are getting to play outside is sufficient, if it's enforced for long enough to really hurt. Poor Niamh, she must have been so conflicted. She clearly wrestled with what to do - fight or not get in trouble. I'm so glad that the school backed you up like that - that's crucial! It's got to give you at least a bit of comfort and ease, I guess. And don't worry - we'll all still be here, waiting for you. For you, I don't know what we wouldn't do.
4 people like this
@mummymo (23706)
•
13 May 08
Aww shucks Nova I got this far without breaking down and I don't know how you did it but now i am gone! lol Exclusion from the school was mentioned if this was repeated but I don't think it would do much good either. i am very reassured that the school are being so supportive but they are very hot on any kind of bullying and this really upset them too! Thank you for your friendship and support nova Hugs xxx
2 people like this
@weemam (13372)
•
13 May 08
well sweetheart you know how we feel about Niamh , When I told faither about it I think he would have quite willingly gone with you up to the school , I am so pleased you got it sorted as I knew there was something wrong whenever you answered the phone , I am so glad she knows where she stands with bullies , she is a wee sweetheart and we love her like our own , all of you xxxx
@mummymo (23706)
•
13 May 08
I do know Mam and we love you all too! If only she did to them what she does to Ross eh? She is fine but I am still vvery shaken and exhausted - I just wanted to thank everyone here befoe I turn in for an early night!
Wolfie Darling I don't think our little family could be complete without you now!
Love you both - Hugs xxx
4 people like this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
15 May 08
I dont think it matters what age boys do this they will be men later right.
I used to have to black many and eye for them to stop trying to do things to me like in 1,2,3,4th grade finally got it across they arent to fool with me and I nevr ever told any one before
2 people like this
@mummymo (23706)
•
15 May 08
Lakota sweety I am so sorry that you had to fight to be left alone by these awful boys and so glad that they finally got the message. If Niamh grows up half as well as you I will be over the moon! Thank you so much for sharing this with me honey - I do hope it hasn't dredged up too many bad memories! Hugs xxx
1 person likes this
@minnie_98214 (10557)
• United States
13 May 08
That would have pissed me off also. My son was 7 and once had some kids hold him and kick him over and over again. I went to the school and you know what they did took the kids recess away for two days thats it. I was so mad so I know how ya feel. Hopefully it never happens again.
3 people like this
@mummymo (23706)
•
13 May 08
Oh your poor boy! I would have been mad too! From what I understand the boys playtime and lunches will be indoors and supervised for at least 2 weeks - I think that should at least let them see that this kind of attack is not going to be tolerated! Thank you sweetheart! xxx
2 people like this
@laglen (19759)
• United States
14 May 08
How awful for your child! And I too feel bad for the boys, what have they seen and how do they live that they think that is ok. Thank goodness your daughter has a safe and loving home and good for you giving her permission to fight back! I feel so badly for you and your family, but I'll bet that your sweetheart will bounce back just fine and move on. Good job!
@mummymo (23706)
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14 May 08
Thank you for such a balanced view laglen - I really appreciate! I normally see all sides of a situation before I make decisions but when my daughter was the 'victim' I am afraid I couldn't do that! You are right she is bouncing back and she is much stronger than her Mum - Thank you for the support and kind words sweety! xxx
@cyntrow (8523)
• United States
14 May 08
The very title of this discussion set my hair on end. My youngest is the same. She doesn't want to get in trouble. I've told her, as you did yours, that if she is in danger, she can kick butt and she will not be in trouble at home, regardless of school. I've told all my kids this. I have a girlfriend who was molested in elementary school by another boy. She was afraid to tell anyone. This was 30 years ago. I'm so glad that we live in a different time, where kids are not afraid to tell their folks when something happens to them.
I think you showed amazing restraint. Your little one will be just fine and so will you. Thankfully, you are the fantastic mother that you are.
Take care.
3 people like this
@mummymo (23706)
•
14 May 08
I am so sorry for your friend - this must have been a very heavy burden to carry on her own - I would hate if either of my kids felt they had to do something like that! Thank you for the support cyn honey - it means a lot! BTW your future son in law lost his temper when he found out what happened and has been so sweet with his little sis - even this morning and he is not a morning person! lol xxx
@makingpots (11915)
• United States
13 May 08
My dear, you did exactly the right thing. I commend you for keeping your wits about you and seeing to it such that it was nipped in the bud. I am so glad that Niamh is okay. I would have been seeing red and can only hope that I would have handled it as well. I hope that your family time together this evening will help to calm you down a bit. You should rest assured knowing that you are a marvelous.......... the best in the world.... Mum for your kids.
Huge hugs my dear Mo (((((((HUGS)))))))
3 people like this
@mummymo (23706)
•
13 May 08
Oh my darling makingpots thank you! I don't know how well I think I handled it as I was absolutely shaking and nauseous - more because of the manner of the attack than because she was bullied! We had a good time together tonight and she is a trooper - I on the other hand am a nervous wreck! Thank you sweetie and hugs straight back at you! You have no idea how much those hugs and words of yours mean to me! xxx
2 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
13 May 08
Mummymo I agree with everything Wolfie says here. I cannot abide bullies and let's hope that the school sort this out. They seem to be taking a sensible line. These boys need to understand that their behaviour is not acceptable. Their class needs to know that it won't be tolerated either. I hope that this hasn't happened before. You did the right thing going to see the teacher and telling Niamh to not accept anything like this in the future. Hopefully these boys will be so shocked by the reaction to their "horseplay" that they will never ever try something like this again. Hugs to you all. XX
3 people like this
@cinderella2007 (2662)
•
13 May 08
Must have been horrible for Niamh to be attacked by two boys like that!! Hopefully it wont happen again (not til shes older any how! lol)
Glad you have ranted, I bet you feel abit better aftert that ranting. I would have thought the headteacher would have said no to violence unless it was extremely necessary and to tell a teacher!!
Does make you wonder why boys are fascinated with girls skirts!! I think they find it funny to go round lifting up the skirts to annoy the girls but not sure about them doing it at 6!!
4 people like this
@mummymo (23706)
•
13 May 08
You know sweety I don't feel better - just different - I think I am emotionally exhausted! I was ready for her to tell me that Niamh was not allowed to fight back but she did say that there are situations where you have to do what you need to protect yourself and she totally agreed that if there was ever a situation like that again she was to defend herself - it is not as if she could get a teacher when one was holding her - and their playground is huge! xxx
2 people like this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
14 May 08
I would have been angry and upset too!
I would have done the same thing you did....but I would also tell my child to let me know about similar situations in future.
Though my son is taught not to hit back....I also had a situation wherein I had to tell him that he could hit back if it was to protect himself....he's 7 now and I think he knows the difference.
I find that the boys (most of them not all) are very violent and love to play violent games where they hold each other down and one punches the other (in fact, I got the teacher to change my son's class due to this).
I've also seen boys the age of 5-6 who put their hands on the seat when a girl is about to sit...and most uniforms here are skirts. I couldn't believe a child that age doing it! That's the age where they are innocent. I have no idea what this world is coming too.
You have a wonderful daughter....and don't you worry about myLot...we can wait. I'm just so sorry that your daughter had to go through with this kind of a situation.
2 people like this
@mummymo (23706)
•
14 May 08
My daughter loves to play fight with bigger older people and she is very strong - it broke my heart that she didn't want to do this as she hates getting into trouble - well she hates the thought of it , she has never actually gotten into any trouble at school! I do think it is sad that we teach our children right from wrong and then we have to say to them no sweetheart in this type of situation it is ok to use violence to protect yourself! I hope your son is ok now and he has no more problems! Thank you SViswan xxx
1 person likes this
@kamran12 (5526)
• Pakistan
15 May 08
I now read the details of what happened to your daughter, mummymo, (as I am coming from your other discussion) and I am so really sorry about it and feel angry about the situation. I really don't understand why on earth boys that young would do such thing? Have they watched such things happening? Are their parents in knowledge of what their boys are like? I don't know but it's a disturbing behavior and one that can not be accepted at all.
I think your daughter's school is really helpful or at least that's what appears. They are dealing it the way I think it should be dealt and I am glad that they are listening to you carefully. Probably a proper punishment to boys like one suggested may help them understand that what they did can't be accepted.
I hope it works out in best possible way!
2 people like this
@mummymo (23706)
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16 May 08
Thank you so much Kamran! The school have ensured that the parents of the boys know exactly what has happened and how serious it is! There are other agencies involved with the families and I am sure they have been informed also. Luckily my Niamh is a really strong little girl and is dealing with it really well - she leaves me in awe of her strength of character! Thank you so much for your support kamran sweetheart! xxx
2 people like this
@kamran12 (5526)
• Pakistan
16 May 08
mummymo, I am impressed by your composure and how you have dealt it in a proper manner with school and your girl. You did the very right thing, in my opinion, by telling Niamh that she can defend herself and hit back in such a situation. That would be a boost in confidence for that young innocent little soul who didn't do it out of her polite and nice nature. I wish you all the best.
2 people like this
@faith210 (11224)
• Philippines
16 May 08
Hi mummymo! I have just came across this discussion just now. I thought that Niamh was being bullied by other students but these one is beyond bullying in my opinion. I know Niamh to be a very sweet girl and I just fell in love with your daughter when you have shared a story about her being in the tub while reading, "Just like mom" as her dad put it. I am so angry now and I felt terrible that her schoolmates will do such a thing to her. I hope that by this time, everything is resolved for I worry about your little girl. I would hate it too if the same thing happens to my beloved nieces. I might raise hell to the school authorities if that will be the case. Again, I pray that those boys will be scared to do the same thing again to Niamh or to any other girls in their school. Please tell Niamh to take care of herself always and kick those boys if they try to harm her again.
Take care and God bless!
@mummymo (23706)
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16 May 08
Aww thank you Faith - for your support and friendship - you are always so lovely! Niamh is coping with it all - as you say worse than bullying - much better than Mum is, I am very proud of her for the strength of character she has shown! I think I would have raised hell if the school had not been equally as angry and shocked as I was and had they not taken it very seriously! Everything seems fine now but I shall be keeping a very close eye on things! Hugs to you and your hubby xxx
2 people like this
@faith210 (11224)
• Philippines
16 May 08
Hi mummymo! Thanks for updating me. I am really worried about Niamh and I am so happy to know she is fine and that everything is fine. I will always be praying for Niamh's safety. Sorry, I am a worrywart when it comes to children. Take care and God Bless! 
2 people like this
@sid556 (30953)
• United States
18 May 08
I would have been more than a little furious had this happened to one of my girls. I do know boys are curious and even at a young age but this one goes beyond curiosity!! My first question in reading your story is where is the supervision in the school? How did something like this happen and no one noticed it at all? Of course the head deputy was kind to you....sounds like you have a potential law suit on your hands. After dealing with the school I'd be knocking on the doors of those boys myself and talking to their parents. I'm sorry this happened to your little girl. Let's hope this is an eye opener for everyone.
2 people like this
@mummymo (23706)
•
18 May 08
Well sid I don't think furious covers the way I felt - I cannot put it onto words though! There is a massive playground at my daughters school which goes all around the school, some of which is at weird angles and though there are staff supervising the children out there it is impossible for them to see everywhere at once - I know I used to help there years ago so I cannot blame them! I so wanted to go to the parents too but at first I was too angry and knew I wouldn't be able to control myself and then I realised that both families are involved with the social work department and that they had also been informed - If I went to their door it night grow into a total brawl! I know that all staff are very aware of the situation and the boys are being closely monitored! Thank you for your support! xxx
2 people like this
@sid556 (30953)
• United States
19 May 08
Sounds like it is time for more security at the school. Lets hope the boys get disciplined at home as well as at the school. I think you handled this really well and much better than I think I would have. I felt myself getting all fired up just reading your story. Good luck and please keep us posted on how this all turns out.
2 people like this
@cortney09 (1345)
• United States
18 May 08
Oh my gosh. That is terrible. The sad thing is that kids are doing things at a younger and younger age. I wonder also why they would think to do this. I hope that your daughter is doing okay and that those boys are dealt with harshly. If they aren't then it could get worse. I also hope that you're are doing okay, as I know that this is probably hard for you.
2 people like this
@mummymo (23706)
•
18 May 08
Oh cortney you would be impressed with how my daughter has dealt with this and not so impressed with me I am afraid! The boys are being dealt with by other agencies as well as the school so hopefully a well as learning just how serious this is as well as receiving any help they may need! xxx
1 person likes this
@fury2525 (139)
• United States
14 May 08
I think you have every right to be outraged and i would be livid ...especially since it seems the boys got off scot free. Makes you wonder how far those boys have to go before the so-called school system will do something other than just a slap on the hands. I was a sub teacher for a 1 1/2 and was very disgusted by many things I saw done by teachers to students...I reported one thing to the parent i knew that something was done by the asst. principal to her son. And I was told later i could not go back to that school anymore to teach. And the parent went to the board and nothing was done so she did what she had to do to protect her son, she took him to another school.
I worry what will those boys be doing in another few yrs when they are older and stronger. Makes me feel like some kind of charges should be done or something.
I am sorry this happen to her.
Lish
2 people like this
@mummymo (23706)
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14 May 08
First of all Lish I want to say welcome to mylot and thank you for responding! I am shocked to hear what happened when you reported the asst principal and that instead of congratulating you and giving respect that you were instead shunned and prevented from teaching there again. I don't think I would have just moved my child - I would have moved heaven and earth to make sure that teacher was prevented from doing it to any other child! I am lucky in that the school is backing me up on this! Thanks for the support and sharing your experience! xxx
@mummymo (23706)
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14 May 08
OMG Lish that is dreadful! It is so different here in Scotland, if a teacher laid hands on a child they would have charges slapped on them - it has got to the stage where they are scared to tend to injuries in case there are untrue claims made! In fact I would go as far as to say that there are teachers that are terrified of their pupils as they have no protection from them and they cannot retaliate , even in self defence without risking their careers! It seems like we need a happy medium between the 2 and we would all be a lot better off!
I am so sorry that your son was treated in this way Lish, my nephew has just been diagnosed with dyslexia - my sister asked for tests 3 years ago after I noticed the signs whilst he stayed with me when she was on holiday and were told there was nothing wrong! He was treated as being naughty and hard to teach for years so i can understand where you are coming from although I know it doesn't make it any easier!xxx
@fury2525 (139)
• United States
14 May 08
well it was a asst principal who pushed a child and yelled in his face and humilated him in front of my class.
I thought you messed up lady, you touched a child, but nothing was done except to me. This is in Kentucky maybe it's not the same other places. I remember when I was in high school a boy smarted off to a teacher and she smacked him in the face and me and the whole class sat there shocked but nothing was done to the teacher.
My son had a reading disability and since the elementary school was made to feel he was stupid and worthless, the teachers would make him sit outside the classroom while he heard his teacher and other teachers talking about him. When I went to the meetings it felt like the spanish inquistion. I took my mom with me to another one and i asked her is it just me or does it feel like them against me.
I wrote a poem a few years ago about how i felt about the school systems were treating the kids.
1 person likes this
