Would you turn in your child?
By gemini_rose
@gemini_rose (16264)
June 21, 2008 5:38pm CST
Just recently in the news and in other daytime programmes it seems that a lot of stories are coming out about parents who are turning their children in for crimes that they have found out they have committed.
If you found out that your child/chilren were carrying a gun or a knife and heard that they had the intention of using it, or you found out that your child/children were responsible for a vicious beating of someone for little or no reason. That they left the victim for dead all for no reason. What would you do?
Would you protect them and say nothing, letting the crime go unsolved or maybe someone else be blamed?
OR
Would you turn them in, knowing that there was a good chance that the rest of your family, including the child/children who committed the crime may never want to talk to you or have anything to do with you again?
There are no right or wrong answers here, I just want to hear what you feel you would do, honestly.
5 people like this
17 responses
@ZephyrSun (7381)
• United States
21 Jun 08
I would turn them in. I couldn't teach them anything by keeping their secrete and allowing their bad deed go unpunished. I have seen parents that have bailed their children out of jail and do everything possible to keep them from getting in trouble for the crimes they have committed and the child just goes on to committ more and more crimes. It really doesn't teach them anything and I am a firm believer in tough love.
1 person likes this
@kaleegirl45 (1515)
• United States
22 Jun 08
I know what you mean, years ago, my brother was caught driving under the influence. Well, he was arrest and book and thrown in jail. I had gone out that night, and when I got home, my mother asked me if I had any money to bail him out. I told her no, (I did,but I was not going to contribute to him being release)I told her, let him stay there, he knew what he was doing. Of course she didn't listen to what I said, at 3am she went to bail him out. He was not realized until maybe noon I believe, she miss work, had my uncle take to LA COUNTY JAIL. I think that's a bunch of bulls%$T. he kept doing and she always bailed him out. He finally gave up drinking and now like to tell us not to drink. (please)
@albert2412 (1782)
• United States
22 Jun 08
i myself have absolutely no respect for anyone that turns in their own child. There is such a thing as love and family loyalty. These two qualities are missing in people that turn in their own children.
Most people who commit crimes have endured some kind of poisoning in teir brain or lack some sort of nutrient. We need to help people who commit crimes to become normal. Also, We should take our children to church to learn about Jesus and to become good Christians.
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
22 Jun 08
I have been thinking about this discussion throughout today and wondering about it. Wondering that if it really happened how would I feel, truly. I say that if they committed a crime I would turn them in, yet I am their parent and my instinct as a parent is to protect them at all costs. How would I really react if faced with this situation, I honestly think it would be the biggest battle I ever had with myself. I see your point completely, as I see everyone elses, it is a tough call.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Jun 08
gemini rose if my child had done a murder or other horrific
crime yes I would turn him in as shielding a murderer is
actually aiding and abetting the criminal. for a disameanor no
I would shield my child but not for a criminal act like
beating up on someone or stealing large sums o money. these
I would report knowing I might not be liked by the rest of
my family. you do no favors to shield a crininal that is
your son or daughter.
1 person likes this
@kaleegirl45 (1515)
• United States
22 Jun 08
I wouldn't care if noone liked me if I turn my daughter in. They are the one who is living with that person, nor will they be around to help you out. I rather have them hate me, but at least I know that another person will be in harm way.
@dragonfly242 (1060)
• Bahamas
22 Jun 08
Hi gemini!
This question really got me thinking.
If i knew that one of my children committed a crime, i would advise them to turn themselves in, and if they dont then i will.
Sometimes as parents we are faced with some tough discisions,and it will boil down to what we stand for.
I'm trying to raise children that will obey laws, and respect others, and in this case they will have failed to do both.
So despite the fact that it may happen to be my child i'd have to follow that principle and turn them in..no matter how hard the outcome may be.
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
22 Jun 08
It made me think too, I could not handle the thought of knowing that any of my children had committed a serious crime and not do anything about it.
At the same time how could I go and turn them in, it would just be so awful.
1 person likes this
@ruby222 (4847)
•
22 Jun 08
If I truly thought that one of my children had intent on harming someone in a serious manner I wouldnt hestitate to turn them in...it would be in their best interests as well...if they mean to do great harm,then there is something very wrong with the balance of their mind.Whether or not its anything they have ever discussed with you or not...their mind cannot possibly be functioning as it should do.Plus I couldnt live with myself if I let it all go ahead..my conscience wouldnt stand it...If they chose not to speak or relate to me in any given way afterweards then that would be their choice,but from my point of view there would be a darn sight more to lose by not turning them in...
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
22 Jun 08
I feel the same way as you, it is horrible to think about though.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
22 Jun 08
I would like to think that I would turn my child in if it was something severe, although when it comes to your baby, that's a very tough call. I'd want them to pay for their actions, and if it were something as serious as an attack or murder, with or without reason, I'd like to think I'd turn them in.
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
22 Jun 08
It is a tough call you are right, I have been trying to imagine myself in the position all day and the protective side of me keeps popping up and saying "yes but..." Hard.
1 person likes this
@lingli_78 (12821)
• Australia
22 Jun 08
i will... if my child commit a crime, i will willingly turn him or her in... i always been taught to be responsible for my actions and i will do the same to my children too when i have one in the future... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
@saivenkaat802003 (4823)
• India
5 Jul 08
I would like to say an incident that occured to my 5 year old niece,when she was in her class room.
A boy of her age, suddenly got up.. and punched her straight in her eyes.. gave her three or more punches.. for no reason.. saying that he is Batista the super star of WWE.
Now, as the teacher watched this, she summoned the boys parents, next day..for his behavior..
The parents ..just was protecting the boys action.. and never willed to correct the boy, and did say nothing.
The parents of the boy left the school.. saying that its all in game.
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
5 Jul 08
Gosh, that is terrible I really hope that your niece is OK. This is why some children turn out so bad, because the parents do nothing, if my boys ever do anything like that they would be in BIG trouble.
@kbourgerie (8780)
• United States
23 Jun 08
It would be a hard call, but if I truly loved my child I would want to do the best thing for him or her. So yes, I would turn them in even if it meant losing contact with them. I could only pray that they would eventually understand my actions. I would not be doing them or anyone else any favors by letting them get away with a crime.
1 person likes this
@ellie333 (21016)
•
22 Jun 08
I would like to think that if the reality of something like this happened I would. No one knows how they will react or respond to something until they are placed in that position. These are crimes are very wrong and people shouldn't be allowed to get away with them and sometimes as parents we have to give tough love to help them longterm so yes I really think I would and they would realise that it was done out of love and nothing else for their sake eventually even though I would be outcast from friends and family initally, maybe. Ellie :D
@tessah (6617)
• United States
22 Jun 08
id be the first to narc them out.. and they know it. my elder didnt beleive me on it.. thought i was bluffing. i found some emails shed written on my computer threatoning another girl thinking she was all tuff n chit.. i called the police, turned the letters over, and she got hauled off to a pstche ward for evaluations. she will think twice next time before making threats to anyone ever again..;nods..
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
22 Jun 08
I bet she did not think you would turn her in. But I guess most kids would not dream that a parent would, they seem to take our love for granted to cover everything.
@SomeCowgirl (32189)
• United States
21 Jun 08
I would turn my child in. I know that a lot of people will feel that it is wrong to do that, but if you continue to let them hold that knife or behave in that way then you are only helping them eventually commit the crime or hurt themselves. A mother and father who does not do anything is condoning the behavior The child may think that their behavior is okay because mom didn't ground me, or dad didn't lecture me.
Have a Great day.
1 person likes this
@kaleegirl45 (1515)
• United States
22 Jun 08
It's true, if you let your child run wild and he/she causes harm to others I would call the cops on he/she. They have no business carrying any kind of weapons.
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
21 Jun 08
I would give my child the opportunity to turn himself in and, if he wasn't willing to do that, then I would have no choice but to do so. I have to live with myself and I couldn't sleep at night knowing that my child committed a serious crime that I was keeping quiet about. As far as the feelings of my child and/or the rest of the family...I have to live with myself, they don't.
@kaleegirl45 (1515)
• United States
22 Jun 08
It's hard to think that your own child could cause serious harm to other. (not yours). for example the guys and girls that belong to gangs. the thing they do in order to be accept. they have to kill someone to prove themself to the rest of the members. And the parents know that actually happens, but will keep quite. I beat my daughter if she even join a gang.
@nana1944 (1364)
• United States
22 Jun 08
Oh. I definitely would turn them in. Especially for the violent things. My dad always told us kids (there were nine of us. Poor dad and mom.) that if we got in jail he would get us out the first time (that depended on how bad it was) but the second time it would be for us to figure out how to get out. To the best of my knowledge, he stuck with it. My child is a girl and she is 44 years old and has not been in jail.
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
27 Jun 08
Yes I would. Even children have to be aware of consequences. If they committed an adult act then they should pay the penalty. Unfortunately the courts are quite lenient on children and I can understand why to a certain extent. Unfortunately an easy or soft penalty teaches the child that they can pretty well get away with things.
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
22 Jun 08
I would definitely turn my child in. I do not condone violence at all. I would want my child to get help before they mess their lives and others lives up. I would have to take my chances and make sure to do the right thing even if it was my very own child.
