The 1950's Woman...

My grandmother is 90 and was one of those woman who kept a very clean home and worked outside the home because she had to to keep a roof over her head and her two kids head. She married at the age of 17 and never stopped working. She is now in a board and care facility and needs lots of care.
She lived in the days when she did not a lot of convinces. She never was a great cook but she cooked enough to get by.
She never graduated from high school, but she is a smart lady and has invested his money wisely.
She married to alcoholics and ended up divorcing them. She then marring a very nice man that treated well until he got dementia so bad she could not take care of him. He is the one I called Granddad.
Now on the other had Granny had two daughters, my Aunt and my mom who where not worth their weight. Neither one could keep a job nor take care of themselves. My cousin took care of her mom until the day my Aunt died. My Aunt died of bone cancer about 5 years ago. Finally my cousin is free to live her life.
My mom lived with me for 13 years until I could not take care of her and now she is in a nursing home. I still have responsibility of her care. I have been taking care of mom for almost 17 years.
What happened to that middle generation. My sister's and I, and my cousin work and have raised our family and do not expect any one to take care of us. We stand on our two feet.

Well, my Mom has a limp and she's kinda as messed up as the rest of us are 'cause she's had a hard life. So she is home all day, but she doesn't do much other than scrape for pennies on mylot -- and she's not working now.

Me? Heh. I had to raise my little brother, look after the farm, and take care of the house when I was eleven. Both my parents had to work, we were living in a house that was barely standing, and we were struggling financially.
On top of the fact that Mom was at a mental breaking point, Dad was depressed...and I was dealing with my own mental problems at the time because that's alot to take at such a young age.

Being homeschooled, that was the point where I had to handle my own education as well, without any help. For three years I worked my a$$ off. The house wasn't great but it wasn't as filthy as when I started cleaning everyday. By time I was fourteen I'd worked so hard on my education, I was close to graduating early by time my fifteenth birthday!
And at that point, we were marginally better off. Getting back on our feet...
And then our second housefire happened, and we moved here to the city house we're renting now when I was supposed to graduate.
Because of the financial crap that comes along when you lose practically everything, my education got put on hold..and back I was working my butt off working again.
This time, mom was injured and working part time, dad full time and my brother just having turned a teenager...well.
I cleaned the house, I cooked dinner everyday, I worked a job with insane hours...while working like mad on mylot and other money sites for however many dollars I could get, while beginning my activism.
And that's how I was able to afford to give my family christmas that year -- we wouldn't have had presents OR christmas dinner, if not for me...at age 15!

Now I only have a year left until I'm an adult, and things are better...but its still up to me to look after the house, and often my little brother. I'm trying to get my education back on track, and it looks like I'll graduate when most of the other kids my age will graduate now.
No idea about if college will actually happen, so hopefully I'll figure out other ways to learn the things I would've otherwise -- 'cause to me, it's not the degree that matters, the diploma...its the knowledge.
I'm still scraping for dollars wherever I can to try to support my family.

And let me tell you; I don't think there WAS a secret. From all my experiences its mostly a mixture of sweat, blood, determination, insanity, and insomnia lol.
(I guess my example says this: When you're poor, you might as well have been living in the fifties lmao)

I had four years of hell since I was eleven.

And I am technically a work-a-holic. After all this, I really don't know how the heck not to be busy lol. But I don't regret or look back on any of it negatively, because...because now, I feel I can take on anything.
I'm still pretty messed up as a person, but I guess everyone's pretty messed up when it comes down to it.

I think what it is, is knowing when to turn down conveniences. Because sometimes conveniences really aren't so convenient and doing things the old fashioned way is FUN sometimes. There can be alot of joy in hard work...and that's really the only things that makes the stress and tears manageable some days.

So..if this makes me strong, then okay. Cool. Lol.

I have 5 young children, the youngest just a few weeks old and the oldest is 5, and our house looks like a storm went through it. Doesn't help that there isn't enough space for all our things. We have a four bedroom house, but realistically, it is in floor space terms, the size of a large two bedroom house.
Having so many children, I do struggle alot, but getting up to feed every couple of hours during the night means I have little in the way of sleep. Catnapping during the day is hard too, because my other half usually wants a nap as well, which means I have to let him and watch the girls.
We aren't big on having a house that looks like it came straight out of a magazine. They look to unlived in and have no warmth or character to them. We prefer having a more relaxed home, with second hand furniture (got kids remember)things where we can find them easily.
My mum had to have a totally neat and tidy house, and heaven help anyone who brought a speck of dust in with them! If there was a tiny bit of string on the carpet, the whole house had to be vaccuumed (by me) and there were other silly little things like that as well.
My grandmother was the same. Everything had to be in its place. The washing had to be done a certain way, and look out if anyone else did it wrong. Sure, they were strong women, but how much time did they spend with their kids? Not enough.

Energy was the key factor in it all for them and a strong will to keep things in order. My grandmother had a list of things that needed to be done on a daily basis. Cooking, house cleaning, laundry. She taught me how to do the laundry. She would do it in stages. Monday was wash day. She'd take what was around from the weekend to wash, as well as the previous week, hang it up to dry, fold it and then have people take their laundry to their rooms. From Tuesday thru Saturday was gather day from the rest of the week. Sunday was all day cooking day and then we would be back to Monday for the laundry.

For larger projects like changing curtains, cleaning the fireplace (yes, she played Cinderella), washing windows, she would do according to the season. To conserve energy she was strict on getting the family members to pitch in. If they wanted great dinners then she expected the day to day stuff be done by someone. She didn't care who. As long as the trash was taken out, toys picked up, books put away, newspapers put in a corner by the chair, she promised to make us a meal that we would drool over.

She had a flower garden that she tended in the evenings before the sun went down. I think she liked to dig in the dirt just to ease the stress and tension from day to day stuff. She had a beautiful garden and that's what I miss.

My mother carried those habits with her to our family, Granted things were becoming more easy to do as far as the appliances and little gadgets were concerned, but routine was what made it all work.

DCMerkle

I have no idea how they did it. I know MY mom was seldom sick, I, on the other hand have serious allergies and fibromyalgia. I barely can get thru the day and I don't have a husband or children.

I'm always in awe of women from that kind of era! They managed to do all of that and still look fantastic in those beautfiul dresses and cute little pumps! I know i couldn't do it, if i spend a day doing housework i am wearing jogging bottoms and a baggy t shirt, and although i have a husband if he did, he certainlywoudln't be greeted at the door with a cocktail! I've never been overly houseproud, i spend a lot of my day keeping things clean and caring for other people at work, by the time i get home i'm exhausted and just want a bath and bed! My mother always managed to keep the house looking immaculate, look after two kids and put my father's meals on the table, but she never had to work. I wish i could juggle it all better, i think they had some secret weapon that they;re just not sharing, either that or i'm just not designed to be a domestic goddess!! hehe xxx

Yup but they didn't have to go to work and work all day and then go home and cook and clean like 95% of the women do today

Hi twoey,

I love this post! Great one! I have a mother whom I would say is my idol for being a tough woman! She is a full time housewife with 2 kids to take care and a husband to take care also, a farm to maintain, a pets like pigs and goats, dogs and cats, then no washing machine that time! She gracefully handle everything perfectly without any complain and always have a smile and have time to play with my sister and I! I grew up having her routine and at a young age, I always learn doing things manually like washing the clothes, ironing, cleaning, feeding the pets and all! I can say that I am strong, though I have no kids to take care but I know I can do things household chores without relying on machines or whatever we have in the house, but, I know I can't beat my Mother! LOL!

Life is too easy for us. That is why we wouldn't last a day in our grandmother's shoes. We have it so easy that it doesn't take long to run us down. I am both a stay at home mom and a worker (I'm a substitute and don't always get to work everyday). I get tired during the day when there is nothing to do. A house can only get so clean and a yard can only get so clean. I'm not saying my house is perfect by any means, but there is only so much I can do with the little room I have. But I think I am pretty strong for today's time. I take care of the house, the kids, cook, and still have time to enjoy the rest of the day.

Back then women were also given hysterectomies as a treatment for hysteria, many had nervous breakdowns, and many more were on lithium.
The modern image of the 1950s women comes from Hollywood and doesn't mention the Rosie Riveters who suddenly had to go back to the kitchen, the glass ceiling in the work place for those who didn't, nor the soaring divorce rates that "weren't talked about".
My grandmother was a single Mom in the 1950s. She was the first female editor of a major paper and her kids all knew how to clean the house perfectly. Saturday mornings were the only times to relax all week. Otherwise the kids pulled their own weight and pitched in to help around the house.
I don't think that much has changed (except maybe the amount of chemical by products in our foods), just now we spoil our kids more and expect ourselves to be able to do it all without help. Back then the women were more connected to each other also; communal stitch-n-*itches weren't that uncommon.