Get Over It!

Well, "quit feeling sorry for yourself" isn't quite as bad. Yes we all have felt sorry for ourselves from time to time, but the important thing is being able to pick yourself up and continue.
As for "Get Over It", many of us (myself included) can get through the day with whatever is bugging us that makes a jerk like that say that. We may know what's wrong, but we might know where to turn to fix it. We try to fix it, but it may involve taking pills for the rest of your life, or until the pills no longer have any effect.

Well, it is true that some people really don't want to hear your problems, because some people either can't be bothered or can't do anything to help you. When I really needed to talk to someone, I found a phone number on Youngstown, Ohio. It's a suicide hotline, but it is also a talk hotline, and it helped me out during those tough times when I needed to talk to someone, but was running out of people to talk to. The number is 330-747-5111. They were there for me to talk to when I needed them most. I talked about a lot of my problems, especially to the one person there I really liked talking to, a woman by the name of Beth, and they are there to listen. I love that.

Shall we turn this into the "state the obvious" thread? LOL I donated plasma at one place where they didn't put an ACE bandage or gauze around your elbow, and expected you to just hold it down until god-knows-when. Well, I had donated so much in one arm, the skin wasn't healing as fast as it used to, and it took a good half-an-hour for it to stop so I could put a bandage on it, get paid, and leave. All this time, the morons there kept constantly saying the same things; "APPLY PRESSURE, HOLD YOUR ARM UP, ETC." Things I had been doing the WHOLE TIME, THANK YOU! I eventually quit going there.

I guess I could be just as bad to someone. I graduated with a guy who was the top male student in my class, he played the trombone in jazz band, was captain of the football team, was in the National Honor Society, the whole nine yards. One day in 1995, while his mother was in the room next to his, he took out a gun, put it in his mouth, and pulled the trigger, and that was all. I had been told it was due to something he did while in Germany during the German Club's Germany trip. I don't know what it was, and I'll probably never know, but I guess I became one of those wondering, "WTF could HE be so depressed about?!"
Compared to him, I was practically a failure. I graduated around the middle of my class, tried and failed at some extracurricular activities, and had emotional problems out the wazoo that caused me to do some stupid things like this: http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/1481374.aspx Therefore, especially after high school, I felt I had better reasons to commit suicide then this guy ever had. Therefore, I had no sympathy for his escape.
However, as we all learn as we go, there are always things that make people depressed on one level or another. Hell a woman on CSI one night killed a woman for stealing her dream lover, thus "ruining her life". Never mind she was famous, owned a thriving business, etc. Another guy can always come along.
I guess we shouldn't really judge people's depression thresholds.

Yeah, see? The jerk who last told me was being an @$$hole. While he did point out everything wrong with me based on what I had told him, it's not like I would've done it a long time ago if it was that easy.
My own mother told me to "get over it" once when it came to having a male friend around while my older brother had his girlfriend around, and when my mom wasn't around, he'd constantly make homosexual jokes to me about my friends and I...therefore I went through this absolute funk where I didn't want ANYBODY around (particularly the one friend of mine who constantly came over), and once a year or so later I actually made another friend go home when I saw my brother and sis-in-law over after we had rode from his house to mine. Also because of this, I became neurotic in a want to have a girlfriend, which continued long into my adulthood and was often a failure for me. I had often blamed my brother for this behavior and technically still do, even though it doesn't bother me as much anymore.

I suffer from both depression and post-traumatic stress disorder, and I have had people on several occasions tell me I need to "let go" of the past. Like I haven't thought of that. Like I wouldn't do that if I could. Like it's that easy. Well, I met someone in a support group who told me what she says when people tell her to let go of it is, she says, "I'll let go of it, when it lets go of me."

OMG that is BRILLIANT!! I'll have to remember that one and use it next time some heartless, witless jackarse tells me to "let it go"....

and Yea I can relate, I have Chronic PTSD, high anxiety, severe depression (just to name a few) since my childhood (I'm 38 now) and BELIEVE ME if I COULD let it go I WOULD let it go..hell I'd have kicked it to the curb DECADES ago!

Well people obviously will not target you as one to talk to if they need someone to talk to. I won't. Believe me, the guy I had mentioned who last told me to "get over it" is literally the LAST person I will EVER talk to if I need to feel better or want to get something off my chest.

I dunno if it's their "shoes" I'd want them to walk a mile in. They should have your heart, mind, and soul for 24 hours, and maybe, just maybe, they'll know how you'll feel. That's the only way.

Hell, in another response here, I mentioned something about neurotically looking for a girlfriend. When I was 21, I was REALLY in the throws of those feelings, I found myself talking about a few of my problems to a guy at the broadcasting school I was at, and when I mentioned the fact that I don't have a girlfriend or someone to love, he said "Well, you should be happy about that." I immediately looked at him and told him that I didn't think he saw it from my side. After all, he was a little bit older then I was, and his first marriage had already come and gone. Now, while I'm going on 34 and I still am not married or have kids, I know where he's coming from.

I'm occasionally the C in an A-B conversation when someone is having problems. Maybe because I want to hear it to sympathize with them or to possibly help, but never to ridicule them.

I just recently had a coworker who was upset because, I found out, she failed the test that would've gotten her her HS diploma. I asked something about if she'll get another chance to take it before graduation? She then told me she had already graduated and was heading for college. The test was just for the actual diploma. While it was going through my head that, "Why would you be that upset if you've already graduated?", it also went through my head that "she might still want the certificate to prove it." I dunno, but I did tell her sympathetically she shouldn't worry too much about it, because hell I misplaced my diploma merely a few years after HS.

How she takes it is on her, and I would never expect her to take my advice if it didn't work for her. After all, during a talk at a broadcasting school with someone (which I mentioned in a previous response over having a girlfriend), I was upset that I failed a test I know I would've passed with flying colors had a remembered to study the other night (long story why), and now I was going to have to retake the test and get nothing higher then a C. The guy told me that potential employers will never know my grades here, as they don't officially matter in that case, but I always felt that "I'LL know!" and maybe that's what mattered inside. Just like my coworker, she may have graduated, she may go onto college and graduate from there, but she'll still never have the certificate, and that may feel bad to her.

Personally I don't need to have anyone tell me whether or not their lives were better or worse then mine. Hell, I have a friend who is married to an extremely jealous woman (who isn't a whole hellova lot to look at BTW), and has two kids...BOTH with autism, and he reminds me that he's married and I have nobody. I've told him that between him, another friend of ours who went through a nightmare marriage, and another one who, before meeting his soon-to-be wife, went through a relationship any one of us would've dropped out of LONG before he did, I don't even care if I ever get married. I'm probably better off.

lol, well maybe someday you will find the right one. Always keep a open mind and heart.