I always think that fretting fuming about a person who has not been good to you

That depends on how much that person affects your life. When you're harassed by your boss day in and day out and you're not in an economic situation to leave, that is easier said than done. But if a person is just being a pain, you can just walk away and treat yourself to something fun or even a better life. So someone you seldom see and has no control of your work or family life, yes, I agree.

You need to care for that person to hate him! I think that tells it all. Fretting, fuming and losing our sanity only would prove that man's worth and ability to succeed in his motif. I would rather ignore him, in all ways I can. Thanks bala. Nice to see you here. Hope you are fine.

I agree wholeheartedly with you that we should just forget it by getting on with our own lives. Even if we have no intention of making them lose or ourselves win this will help preserve our peace of mind.That is why there is a proverb in our regional language that we should 'stay away from people who are evil'[here this may not necessarily be evil but they torment us and make us lose our peace of mind.So, it is better to stay away from such people.

I definitely agree with you... if we fret or show our anger... we tend to look like the fool... so it is best that we keep our cool and be silent about what they are doing... because in the process... it is them who will look like the loser... and we end up being the good guys... which we really are...

Yes, I agree with you because talking about the bad things that people like this do to us only brings anger and more anger to our lives. The best thing to do is to ignore them ,and pretend that they don't even exist and continue with our lives like if nothing ever happened.

Absolutely agree. That's how I advise my friends too. Getting angry uses up a lot of energy. Such people are not worth it. They wouldn't bother whether you are angry, sad, or happy. So why not choose to be happy?

I do agree with that and anod most times conciously try and do it. It's at those mindless states that i may get into sometimes that the loser become me.

Ah if only I can do that, I have great trouble with people getting under my wolfie skin Bal my friend! I try and let it run off but it is very difficult at times, especially when you have to work with the person, you cannot escape them, it's different with strangers because you will probably never ever see them again and they don't matter, they are insignificant but when it's a work colleague, friend or even partner dare I say then it is very hard to not get angry, or feel torment or feel you need to get even or stop fretting! Why do you think I had to get away from my ex in the first place! No this for me is very difficult!

I totally agree with your discussion. And try to follow it. I say 'try' because I start off with it affecting me...and then I think logically and then have to consciously make myself put it out of my mind and thinking that I won't let them affect me. Then I can behave like it doesn't affect me and go on with my life. I've learnt it the hard way by letting people get the pleasure of affecting me negatively and winning. Now they are the losers and by keeping my composure, they end up looking bad in the eyes of the others who know the situation.

Thats one thing I always do..if they torment me or try and make me angry somehow it always works the other way and the other person normally ends up getting upset...or much to their annoyance I don't take the bait to let them upset me or if they do they never see it..littleowl