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Do you think its right when the Bride makes her wedding party pay...  email this discussion to a friend?

myLot reputation of 97/100. moonlitmagikchild (8089)   ranked 2 out of 442 in got married 4 years ago

for their own dresses?? to me they are usually ugly (to the wearers at least) and they will never wear them again so why should they have to pay for it?? i know with my crappy wedding it was small and i only had my maid of honor and i just had her wear a black dress she already had so there was no need for that hassle

 

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relundad (1581) response was accepted on 11/15/2008.
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tags:  bridesmaid, ugly, wedding, wedding party, bride
 
1. myLot reputation of 99/100. saundyl (4723)   4 years ago

It depends on the bride...the dress and the cost. With my sister she purchased the dresses for us and they were really nice dresses. I wouldnt have minded paying for those because they were only about 70 dollars from Sears.

However when i was supposed to be a bridesmaid for a friend of mine i actually said no after i found out she expected us all to pay 400 dollars for an ugly pink dress. I figured if she expected us to pay for the dresses she could have atleast picked out something a bit more affordable. I even wondered at the option of having the same dress made (found someone to make it and everything) But never had to because she started treating me like i didnt matter (standing me up when making plans then getting mad because i got tired of waiting for her because she didnt bother to let me know she wasnt gonna show...i sat in a food court for 2 hours waiting for her with no phone call) and i ended up telling her i couldnt be the kind oif friend she seemed to expect me to be...one to walk all over and she needed to ask someone else to be her bridesmaid because i wasnt going to do it.


myLot reputation of 93/100. mommyboo (4303)   ranked 48 out of 442 in got married  4 years ago

$400?? This is awful, I would not be able to attend a wedding if I had to pay that much for a dress. Odds are I would have to fly too, and it's impossible to expect someone to buy a plane ticket and rent a car and a hotel, and then drop $400 on an ugly dress you'd never wear again.


myLot reputation of 97/100. moonlitmagikchild (8089)   ranked 2 out of 442 in got married  4 years ago

ugh there is no way in hell i could fork over that much money for a dress.. good for you in telling her where to go!!


myLot reputation of 99/100. saundyl (4723)  4 years ago

I thought it was crazy. I wouldnt have minded paying 100 dollars for a dress but anything more than that i have issues with even when i intend to wear it again!

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2. myLot reputation of 83/100. relundad (1581)   4 years ago

I don't like that idea, though many people do it nowadays. The part I can't figure out is if you have a small budget for your wedding, then why try to have some big fancy wedding that will either put you in debt before your 'I do's" are even out of your mouth or you have to ask everyone to donate their time and money plus give you a gift.

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myLot reputation of 97/100. moonlitmagikchild (8089)   ranked 2 out of 442 in got married  4 years ago

i know its ghetto in my eyes.. like i said i knew i couldnt afford mine but mine was so small i just had my maid of honor wear a nice dress she already had and no one knew any differ.. it went with the color scheme so it was perfect.. but unfortunately if i was asked to be in a bridal party i have nothing suitable i could wear from home.. so if she didnt pay i would some how have to figure it out.. i wouldnt be able to not go.. it would make me feel horrible!


myLot reputation of 83/100. relundad (1581)  4 years ago

You're right it is pretty ghetto. And honestly I would hope that the bride-to-be would take into consideration the other's persons financial situation prior to asking someone to fork over a couple of hundred dollars for a dress. If I were financially strapped I would have no problem telling her that like her, I can't afford to spend that type of money on a dress. Seems like she should understand since thats the only reason that she would need to ask me is because of her financial status.

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3. myLot reputation of 98/100. Ruthep (7334)   ranked 37 out of 442 in got married   4 years ago

I think if they are going to have to buy their own dresses they should help choose the dress so they can wear it again.
My wedding was just a civil ceremony with two witnesses and I don't even remember what my sister wore.
That is a big reason my husband hates standing up at weddings. It is supposed to be an honor to be asked but tux rentals are not that cheap either especially when the bride decides she want designer label tuxes worn.
To tell you the truth I think I would feel bad making my bridesmaids pay for a gown they would never wear again.
So the answer would be no. Not right.


myLot reputation of 97/100. moonlitmagikchild (8089)   ranked 2 out of 442 in got married  4 years ago

i wouldnt be able to make some one pay.. to me they are already paying to come to the wedding if they are out of state..

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4. myLot reputation of 95/100. redkathy (1860)   4 years ago

I've done it a few times and wish it would be a lost tradition. It can be overwhelmingly expensive and seems to always come at a time when you are just broke. What makes it even worse, sometimes your spouse will be in the wedding too! Oh gosh what a ton of money for just a few hours... I would much rather give the newlyweds a nicer gift. I wish people could see this for crying out loud!


myLot reputation of 97/100. moonlitmagikchild (8089)   ranked 2 out of 442 in got married  4 years ago

ugh that would be horrible if your spouse was in it too.. or worse.. your kids!! its insane.. i dont really believe in weddings (the planned out huge weddings that is) so its hard for me to understand.. we werent even gonna have a big wedding (well i should say a wedding that was other than the actual marriage we had done already) but family all wanted it and stupid me decided to grant them their wish..


myLot reputation of 95/100. redkathy (1860)  4 years ago

My baby sister gt married on a boat! Picked dresses at Dillard and my son was in the wedding too!

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5. myLot reputation of 83/100. Piscesmoon (2886)   4 years ago

The way I see it, if the bride wants the wedding party to wear something in particular, she should bear the cost. After all, the bridesmaids are doing her a favour. I have known some brides who have chosen a colour scheme and the bridesmaids have chosen their own dresses. They have worn the chosen colour but in a style that suits them. IF it is something the bridesmaids would want to wear again, I suppose it COULD be reasonable for the wearer to pay but really, I think the expense should be borne by the bride.


myLot reputation of 97/100. moonlitmagikchild (8089)   ranked 2 out of 442 in got married  4 years ago

yeah to me its an honor and shouldnt come with a bill lol

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6. myLot reputation of 96/100. hellcowboy (5009)   ranked 43 out of 442 in got married   4 years ago

Me and my fiance are currently planning are wedding which is set for September of next year and we are not doing a traditional wedding we are doing a cowboy/cowgirl wedding so everyone is going to be wearing western looking shirts,jeans,and boots and we are buying all the attire,and we would not make any of our party buy their own attire,I do not believe it is right for a groom or bride to make their wedding party buy or rent their own attire,because it is not their wedding,now if they volunteer to buy or rent their own attire that is fine,and one of my groomsmen has volunteered to buy his own cowboy boots because he has always wanted a pair and this gives him an excuse to buy them,and my brother is going to be in a friends wedding in December and they were going to make him rent his own tuxedo which he can not afford it right now,but they have decided to do it a little cheaper so my brother is no longer trying to get out of it.


myLot reputation of 97/100. moonlitmagikchild (8089)   ranked 2 out of 442 in got married  4 years ago

thats good that your paying for it especially since its a theme wedding.. those would be bad to have to pay for your own and then it be a theme or something you would never wear again.. ie southern belle types

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7. myLot reputation of 93/100. mommyboo (4303)   ranked 48 out of 442 in got married   4 years ago

It depends. My bridesmaids paid for their dresses at my first wedding, but I found some very elegant matching cocktail dresses from Penneys I think, they were not the traditional 'bridesmaid' dresses. I chose them not only because they were the perfect color, they were only $35 apiece and orderable in the sizes we needed and I know for a fact that my sister wore the dress again when she went to a New Year's Eve party with her husband. I wanted them to be something nice, not something everybody would hide in the closet and roll their eyes about years down the line.

I can say that I have never minded purchasing a dress for a wedding party - what I HAVE minded is being asked to SEW A DRESS!!! I can't sew a dress! Not if someone expects me to wear it in front of 200 people! I would say if the dresses are reasonable (less than say $100), I don't think it's farfetched to ask people in the wedding party to pay for them. The groomsmen often have to pay for their tuxes, right? If the dresses are all custom and very expensive, then I might think that the bride and groom have a little responsibility toward helping, especially if they have LOTS of bridesmaids/groomsmen and it becomes an affordability problem for people as in - they can't afford the dress, they can't be part of the wedding.
I didn't have a wedding this time around, it's nice to be able to take some of what we would have spent and have a stress free jaunt to pick out rings, a nice quiet dinner and some cuddle time with our daughter. She was 14 months old when we got married lol. We had one friend there as a witness. Marriages CAN be stress free. Weddings? No, NEVER.


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myLot reputation of 92/100. rocketj1 (2435)   ranked 162 out of 442 in got married  4 years ago

Neither can be.


myLot reputation of 97/100. moonlitmagikchild (8089)   ranked 2 out of 442 in got married  4 years ago

well i liked when my hubby and i just got married at my inlaws house but both of our families wanted a wedding and stupid us decided to do it and it costed way too much.. every one fought because everyone thought we should have all this expensive crap we didnt want and were mad we didnt spend more.. it was a huge mess.. never ever again

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8. myLot reputation of 92/100. rocketj1 (2435)   ranked 162 out of 442 in got married   4 years ago

I believe that it's proper etiquette for the bridesmaid to pay for their dresses. But I believe that the bride should bear their budget in mind.

As for wearing the dress later: Who would ever do that? "Oh, Betty, where ever did you get that dress?" Betty: "Oh, I wore it in my friend's second wedding in 1995". Not happenin'!


myLot reputation of 97/100. moonlitmagikchild (8089)   ranked 2 out of 442 in got married  4 years ago

well some people do.. i havent had a dress yet i could have re-worn.. lol.. all were too ugly

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9. myLot reputation of 99/100. andalond (3375)   4 years ago

I don't think I would want to pay for a dress that I probably would never wear again also, but I think it's an honor to be asked to be in a wedding. I doubt the bride and groom can afford the extra expense of having to pay for their bridesmaid's dresses. I would think they would take the price into consideration when choosing the dresses they would need to wear because it would be courteous.


myLot reputation of 97/100. moonlitmagikchild (8089)   ranked 2 out of 442 in got married  4 years ago

yeah maybe they could like come up with a compromise.. if they went with like black then the people could wear their own clothes if they were acceptable in style

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10. myLot reputation of 99/100. ahgong (3967)   ranked 251 out of 442 in got married   4 years ago

well,, where I am from, it is never really the custom to force the entourage to buy the outfit they are wearing.
Usually, as long as they fit a general theme (ie all white, retro, all dresses...etc) and the bride will be good with it.

Rarely I see the bride force her entourage to buy the same outfit. It is usually the sisters within the entourage that are willing to go out and shop together for the same out fit cos they want to. Not because they have to.

Your maid of honor is lucky that she does not need to specially go out to spend some money to get the out fit for helping you out.
It makes me wonder, especially after watching 27 dresses where Katherine Hagel (hope I get her name right blush ) why the bride would insist on getting her entourage to dress up in those nasty looking clothes.


myLot reputation of 97/100. moonlitmagikchild (8089)   ranked 2 out of 442 in got married  4 years ago

lol funny i just saw that movie a few days ago and omg those were horrible dresses!!


myLot reputation of 99/100. ahgong (3967)   ranked 251 out of 442 in got married  4 years ago

Yeah, I totally agree with you. Some of the dresses are really hideous!
The picture I attached is one of them.
It really makes me wonder, does the bride really make her entourage wear such silly looking dresses to help her out in the wedding?
Or is the movie an exaggeration of the fact?


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