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My Big Gay Wedding. email this discussion to a friend?

myLot reputation of 70/100. II2aTee (797)   ranked 1,680 out of 23,344 in relationships6 months ago

I’m very excited to announce that my partner and I have finally set a date for our Commitment Ceremony! Well, to be honest, we have set a month and a year. We are still trying to decide on the right day exactly. We have narrowed it down to 3 possibilities. But no matter what, in May of 2010, we will be saying our vows in front of all of our family and friends, and celebrating our past and future life together.

We have been together for 9 years this November, and we have technically been engaged for 4 of those years. To be honest, I wanted to wait until Gay Marriage was legal in my home state before we had the ceremony, but after giving it a lot of thought I realized that life happens too quickly… and we must seize the moment. After living and working together and being in love for 9 years its pretty self evident that we are it for the long run.

My only real problem is that neither I nor my partner has ever been to a commitment ceremony or a gay wedding, so we aren’t exactly sure how it’s supposed to go. I know that we don’t want anything too “over-the-top”. We are both very low-key, average mannered young men, so we want out commitment ceremony to reflect that. We want the ceremony to have dignity, class… and maybe, just maybe, a touch of the eccentric, just to keep things slightly lighthearted.

Do you have any suggestions for us? Have you ever been to a commitment ceremony before? What was it like? Was there anything memorable about it?


Oh.. I also want to ask everyone opinion on this because I am somewhat torn. I was talking with my hairdresser about how I don’t want my wedding to some fruity, flamboyant pride festival (my roman catholic, conservative republican grandparents will be there, and I don’t want them to feel uncomfortable.) But when I mentioned to her that Brian and I were planning on both wearing white tuxedos, she said that might be crossing the queer line just a bit. What do you think?

My hairdresser also made me reconsider the idea I had of arriving on horseback… and after some thought I must say I agree with her on that point. But the two white tuxedos.. I don’t think that’s too “over the top”… do you?

 
 
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tags:  mature content, wedding, commitment ceremony, gay, commitment
 
1. myLot reputation of 96/100. ravinskye (6243)   ranked 349 out of 23,344 in relationships   6 months ago

Congratulations on your Commitment Ceremony! Well on setting the date at least lol. I've never been to a commitment ceremony. I would think if you searched on youtube someone might have posted their ceremony on there. That might give you some ideas. But I think that it's your ceremony so however you want it to go is perfect. I imagine there are some that go "over the top", heck their are planning of "straight" weddings that do that lol, but I'm sure there are plenty they are low key and really beautiful. I think the white tuxedos sound fine. I'm sure you both will look really handsome!


myLot reputation of 70/100. II2aTee (797)   ranked 1,680 out of 23,344 in relationships  6 months ago

Thank you very much, and thats a great idea. I'll search you tube and see if I can get any idea from there:)

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2. myLot reputation of 76/100. MYKLJ999_VERSION_2 (2981)   ranked 1,752 out of 23,344 in relationships   6 months ago

Well Tee, let me extend my heart-felt congratulations to you. happy

I have never been to a commitment ceremony (outside of the ones where I was commited to prison for a term not to exceed 3 years) so I really don't have any suggestions.

I personally wouldn't consider the two white tuxedos to be "over the top", but being as I have absolutely no experience with these things, my opinion probably shouldn't be counted for much.

But I just wanted to pop in and wish you and your friend a long and happy life together. thumbup


myLot reputation of 70/100. II2aTee (797)   ranked 1,680 out of 23,344 in relationships  6 months ago

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myLot reputation of 60/100. darkjedi1 (752)   ranked 814 out of 23,344 in relationships  6 months ago

But but I thought I was your most favorite straight guy in the world lol.


myLot reputation of 60/100. darkjedi1 (752)   ranked 814 out of 23,344 in relationships  6 months ago

Sigh yeah I guess so.:(


myLot reputation of 60/100. darkjedi1 (752)   ranked 814 out of 23,344 in relationships  6 months ago

Lol yeah you just might. Start forgetting the sexy mykl that they talk about all the time, not that I see it of course lol.

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3. myLot reputation of 63/100. o0jopak0o (302)   ranked 15,110 out of 23,344 in relationships   6 months ago

well good luck to your wedding. hope it will be a memorable one


myLot reputation of 70/100. II2aTee (797)   ranked 1,680 out of 23,344 in relationships  6 months ago

Thank you very much:)

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4. myLot reputation of 97/100. sarahruthbeth22 (10488)   ranked 10 out of 23,344 in relationships   6 months ago

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myLot reputation of 70/100. II2aTee (797)   ranked 1,680 out of 23,344 in relationships  6 months ago

I will be sure to try to track down that movie! And I guess you cant tell from the pic, but I'm actually a red head... and my partner is blond. We both look great in white, but we could also do black. I think we will just have to go try on some tuxedos or suits before we make our decision. You made me laugh with your "land of the precious" comment.. hahaha:) I hope you dont mind if I use that later on when my partner tries to talk me into some fru fru frills like I know he probably will LOL.


myLot reputation of 97/100. sarahruthbeth22 (10488)   ranked 10 out of 23,344 in relationships  6 months ago

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myLot reputation of 97/100. sarahruthbeth22 (10488)   ranked 10 out of 23,344 in relationships  6 months ago

Oh I see, you are a redhead and you are so fair. I think a darker tux or suit will look better. I fear we put you in white and you will be washed out in the photos. b There are so many different colors other than black or white.


myLot reputation of 70/100. II2aTee (797)   ranked 1,680 out of 23,344 in relationships  6 months ago

With a straight wedding the groom shouldn't see the bride's wedding dress.

LOL You are sooo right!! I didnt even consider that. Hmmmm....


And I must tell you, I absolutly LOVE your honesty. And I think you may be on to something here. Both he and I are very fair skinned. We may end up looking like Dr. Moreau if we go with white suits.

I'm not a huge fan of Navy blue. Maybe grey would be best if we could find it in the right shade. Yes, I think grey would work nicely, that way we can still use some white accents, like bow ties or something like that.

Thank you soooo much for your advice! Youve given me much to think about!


myLot reputation of 97/100. sarahruthbeth22 (10488)   ranked 10 out of 23,344 in relationships  6 months ago

What are friends for? I was thinking of grey but I wasn't sure you would like it. You are getting married, of course thee are many things to think about. Suggestion. whenever you get an idea, write it down, either in the blackberry or on paper and then put it in a folder marked wedding. that way all your thoughts and ideas are in One place.If you are like me,ideas come when you are busy doing something else.

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5. myLot reputation of 94/100. LadyMarissa (2714)   ranked 445 out of 23,344 in relationships   6 months ago

CONGRATULATIONS!!!! You are correct, life is WAAAY TOO FCKIN SHORT to wait!!! And they said it wouldn't last!!! wub As to the particulars, I think you should do as you dayum well please. I have a close friend that had a commitment ceremony (she called it a wedding). I was sick & didn't get to go. I'll ask her what they did to make it "special". I know she wore a white dress & her partner wore a black tux. The partner wore a red bow tie & the bride wore a red garter. I saw all that in their photo album. But for the life of me I can't remember what their "special" thing was even though it seems there was something. You two have managed to stay together for 9 years & I think you can determine how you want your ceremony to go!!! After all, It's YOUR day!!! Again CONGRATULATIONS!!! I EXPECT TO SEE PICS & lots of them!!!


myLot reputation of 70/100. II2aTee (797)   ranked 1,680 out of 23,344 in relationships  6 months ago

Thank you dear, and I love your new pic btw. Tiaras never go out of style and dont let ANYONE tell you otherwise!!

And thats funny you mention that about your girl friends. One of my close friends just had a lesbian wedding (she lives out of state and I couldnt go either) and she wore a white dress and her (now) wife also wore a suit. Lesbians are a breed of their own, arent they? LOL!

The idea of one of us wearing a dress is just out of the question. Although, I assure you, I look STUNNING in heels, I havent done drag in years... since before I even knew Brian... and I did it for entertainment purposes only. I look much better as a man.... plus, dont want to give my poor Brian a heart attack at the alter LOL.

And there will be plenty of pictures! That reminds me.. are you on facebook or anything? I have actually been meaning to ask you that for a while.

Thanks for the love, my love:)

XXOXOXO
Tee


myLot reputation of 94/100. LadyMarissa (2714)   ranked 445 out of 23,344 in relationships  6 months ago

Tee.....I think you know me well enough to know that nobody can tell me nothing!!!! I LOVE my tiara. It came from a "very special" friend & I cherish it!!!

Lesbians are a breed of their own...FUNNY you said that...she said the same thing about her male counterparts!!! I was out at breakfast when I received your response. I dayum near choked on my eggs. The thought of you walking down the aisle in a white wedding dress was just a little more than I could handle at the time. I was laughing soooo hard everybody was staring at me. wub You made my day!!!

Nope, don't do Facebook. I've heard too many horror stories!!! Your lustboy mykl can tell you how to put them in myLot. He displayed all his baby pictures. happy


myLot reputation of 94/100. LadyMarissa (2714)   ranked 445 out of 23,344 in relationships  6 months ago

Just remembered...when my brother got married, he & the groomsmen all wore charcoal gray suits. It was very classy looking!!! Plus he could wear it for years after he tied the knot. His wife pretty much insisted on the charcoal gray.

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6. myLot reputation of 97/100. 34momma (4842)   ranked 45 out of 23,344 in relationships   6 months ago

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myLot reputation of 70/100. II2aTee (797)   ranked 1,680 out of 23,344 in relationships  6 months ago

Why thank you my friend:) Yes, now that we have actually set a date I am really starting to get excited about it... its become more "real". Now if all goes right in Albany by next May, it might even be a legal ceremony. But, even if its not, we are still going to do it. We owe it to each other after this long:)


myLot reputation of 97/100. 34momma (4842)   ranked 45 out of 23,344 in relationships  6 months ago

you are so right! no matter Albany or anyone else says do your thang!!! Congrats again! how wonderful and exciting

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7. myLot reputation of 96/100. howard96h (5694)   ranked 3,294 out of 23,344 in relationships   6 months ago

Hi Papi, what exciting news, I wish you both the very best. It doesn't matter what color you choose, your going to look fierce, you can even pull it off wearing a bath towel (you sexy thang you) just make sure the opening is not in the front. Hahaha Brian is a very lucky man.


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8. myLot reputation of 76/100. kabudel (131)   ranked 21,425 out of 23,344 in relationships   6 months ago

Congratulations! It's your day, so, nope it's not "over the top". Go on and celebrate it with a blast because that day only comes once.=) Wish you all the best with your partner!

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9. myLot reputation of 91/100. cobra1368 (518)   ranked 4,685 out of 23,344 in relationships   6 months ago

This post contains content of a mature nature. You must be Signed in or Registered to have the option to view this content.

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10. myLot reputation of 88/100. trickiwoo (1931)   ranked 979 out of 23,344 in relationships   6 months ago

First of all, Congratulations!!!!! As for picking the exact date, you probably want to wait until you've booked a location before deciding on a date! I have friends who sent out "Save The Date" notices to everyone before booking the date, then found the place they wanted was booked that day and they ended up having to have their wedding on a different date!

As for what type of ceremony you want to have, it's totally up to you!!! If you want the white tuxes, wear the white tuxes! It's your wedding and it should reflect the tastes and personality of you and your partner! There's no right or wrong way of how it is supposed to go. You can be as traditional or as nontraditional as you want to be!

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