I need some help with my son

I have been reading your responses, yet I'm stuck for an answer to your problem. I have two sons (both grown up now, 25 & 21 years of age). I just had to tell my older son something and he would obey. My younger son was just the opposite and I used to really get angry. I did show it without yelling. Moreover, he would put his foot down for many a thing. That's his nature (even now to an extent). What I can say, let it be. May be you have to sacrifice. As they grow up, they get to be fine. Just be friends with him. By the time he is 18 years of age, you will look back and wonder at everything. Just keep an eye on him on his outside activities. Otherwise this is all very normal with most children. Enjoy his childhood and don't be too rigid. He will change.

Turn off the TV, eat at the table and that is it. If he argues about it, he loses all TV privileges for a week for each time that he makes a fuss about it. No questions, no bargaining, what you say goes.

If a child is disrespectful, there should be consequences that will make them unhappy to have. Find a book called, Parent Power by John Rosemond. I highly recommend it. You can find it in the library, Amazon.com or Ebay.

If it alienates him, for a while, so be it. That is not your worry right now. You are in charge, he is not. Parenting is NOT a popularity contest and sometimes you have to be more like a drill sergeant and less of a friend.

Get the book it is excellent advice.

Hi Sudipta, long time.
You know what I think? I think you should tell him exactly what you told us when he is NOT watching television and in a mood to listen to you. Talk to him how you would to another human being. He's almost 10...he has his own identity.
Tell him that you understand how he feels about watching his television shows and not thinking about anyone else wanting to watch the 'idiot box' but that's not how a family works. You 'share' things. Sometimes one needs to give up some things one likes for the happiness of another person....and one might get more satisfaction from that than they would have got with whatever they were doing. At this point, you could throw in some examples where you give up some things you like for the happiness of your husband or child (or whoever).
Now, the important point. Once you've put your point across, LEAVE him. Let him get his mind to do some thinking. He'll come up with his own solution. Don't think he will do it the first time he gets an opportunity. He might want to test you. The next time you ask for TV time and he shrugs...just give him the look and walk off. If he doesn't get the message after a couple of times of doing this....you might need to have the talk with him again...and also put it across that he doesn't seem to have understood what you said. If that fails...then get your husband to do some old fashioned firmness...and 'You don't have that attitude with your mother!'talk.
All the best.....and don't feel frustrated. I'm going through the same thing (in other areas) with my almost 9 year old son! I know what to do...but don't have the time or patience to do it...what with the little brats tantrums thrown in!

....you send him to his room WITH dinner? I'd send him without, make the hunger thing really question his behavior, and none of that, "I promise to be good, just let me out and have some food please." My response to the kids when I did that to them? "Well it wouldn't be a lesson if you didn't live through the punishment. And what does you promising mean? You already lied. Now stop complaining and suck it up, because either way, I'm not listening to you, AND it doesn't work with me, so stop wasting your energy."
Harsh, MAYBE, but how else will they learn that when they get a punishment, just because they WON'T shut up, and holler and put up a stink, just because they promise something, oh well, if they PROMISE, they must be telling the truth. No. They stay and be punished. I don't care that they don't like it.
Also? TV during dinner time? Not so cool, turn the tv off, and say that it's impolite, not "selfish", because it really is impolite if he's demanding you guys to not say a word so he can hear the tv. Put news on insted or something, what YOU want to watch, and if he complains, remind him how he acted. And if it gets to a point where it's unbearable, then make a tv schedule for the dinner table, some night it's cartoons, the other it's news or something else you guys wanna watch.

To be honest he sounds like he is taking over or trying to he sees the tv as a way of getting your attention,my son was the same,it was brushing his teeth would not do it,I got in a state about it,then I did not he brushed his teeth without any trouble.Tell him straight then do what you want and ignore his protests, once he realises you are not taking any notice he will stop,but then he will move on to something else.It will be a constant struggle with something or rather,when he is good go crazy,say well done,arn't you helpful.arn't you clever.He is trying to get your attention and will go to any lengths to get it.What ever you do don't argue with him that will add fuel to his fire,send him to his room if he does not do what he is told.It will work after a while,you won't get any common sense from him for a while just bear with it,this is what I did,I walked away from a row so many times,sent him to his room,made myself stay calm.When all else failed I smacked him around the back of the legs, he soon got fed up with that,just a short sharp slap just to make him realise you are the boss and not him,I only smacked my son twice warn him first if he does not comply follow through,the shock will be enough to bring him round,kids develop far greater than we ever did.Don't for goodness sake hurt him or mark him just a little wake up call,remember he will soon be a teenager and you don't want him running the home then.

Hi Dear,

I am late to respond and I hope that you got plenty of good advises by this time. Of course I don’t have any solution for your problem because I am already fed up with mine (lol). Today is the last holiday for my son and his school is reopening from tomorrow (July 8) and we ended up his holiday home works yesterday only. It was really a tough time for me especially we spent one month in our native place where he enjoyed much and I struggled much to get his work done. This time his holiday homework needed everyday works including diary writing etc so I pushed him to do some work but much other works were pending when we back. After my return I become mad with hot weather, office work and house hold chorus then spending time with him was really tough for me. Anyway I got a relief from yesterday night as we finished it off.

Now coming to the problem, these boys are always like this especially for single kids there is a chance to become selfish. My elder son is also showing much selfish attitude sometime with his small brother (2 years old). But I observed in between them, the younger is so caring to his brother but the elder is least bothered. Now your son is 10 years old and he may need his own individuality. Let us hope once they become grown ups they will be perfect.

i think let your child have what he wants then after that just pull the plug from the tv. if he still doesn't want to join you in family discussions so be it. you are the one running the household not him. in due time he'd talk to somebody when he gets bored since the tv is off.

50 50. let him have what he wants then have what you want. however, interacting with people, even if family, is not something that can be forced on anybody. it's like liking somebody...

kids having hurt feelings because of parents is a natural thing. i've been through it. and i know as a child you've been through it. with genuine love no heart of steel wouldn't melt. no eyes wide shut wouldn't see the light of day .