WOO HOO! Hubby is out of town for 5 days!!!

Thanks, Pam. I intend to. I've spent the morning just cleaning around here. The weather is weird, first rain, now strong winds with thunderstorms predicted for later this afternoon. So, I'm staying in today. Tomorrow, though, I'm going out. I'm going window shopping. I'm going to have lunch in a restaurant. I might peruse the second-hand shops. I'll come back when I feel like it.

The rest of the week, who knows? I know I won't spend the rest of the week here at home, that's for sure. I may just stay up extra late listening to music. The world is mine!

Go crazy!

That's VERY true, thea! I'd love to know how they lose certain knowledge as soon as the vows are taken.

Unfortunately, my husband is a snorer from way back. His nieces gave him a mug for Christmas before I met him. It says "World's Loudest Snorer" on it. So, yeah, he's had this problem awhile. He did promise me he'd have it taken care of and got as far as seeing a doctor about it (he also has sleep apnea) but, when they wanted to do a sleep study on him, he conveniently had too much work. Uh huh. Sure.

But, I know that he used to cook for himself. Oh, he ate a lot of frozen meals before we met, but he knows how to cook. He just "forgot" once we were married. And what's up with his inability to throw trash away? He'll open something and microwave or bake it, and leave the carton or baggie, whatever the food was wrapped in, on the stovetop or counter. The trash can is only 2 feet away from the stove!!! Unbelievable. I've spoken to him about this countless times to no avail. I think I'll have to do what I thought of doing: putting all his trash on his side of the bed so he'll HAVE to deal with it. Moron!

But, I am married so I'll make the most of his being away.

these are all the reasons why I don't want to marry or live with someone..This says you are not married and My man is perfectly capable of running his own place,this again says you are married. I am confused. .

Whatsoever the case once we are married all are not set to be each other's liking and hence there lies the question of adjustment. We have lived life with a lot of adjustments and compromise and I feel these are the parts of our lives and they make life worth living unless things are at the extreme. What say?

What say indeed Krajib beyond the fact that you've clearly strayed into an amusing little discourse and seem not to have the slightest notion of what we speak, nor do I need,last time I looked, a lecture on compromise. Maybe there's some teenagers over in the 'dear aunty agony advice' interest who would like to listen to you. Us adults tend to know our own minds.

Hi again Marti, didn't see that little hijack coming along. Sorry were you making a serious point perchance. So tell me if it was the other way round and you went away for a week, how bad would it actually be when you returned? The smell alone would have him taking the rubbish out one presumes.
Personally I have no idea how you could live with a snorer without killing him, just leave the trail of mess from the kitchen to the bedroom and stick a tennis ball in his mouth and I'm sure you'll get away with justifiable homicide.

YES! That would be justifiable, wouldn't it!

Krajibg, I am not being serious here. I mean, sure, I'm enjoying my time alone, who wouldn't? I'm enjoying it a lot! I don't get this too often. This is a lighthearted discussion, not a therapy session. If we can't laugh at life, it would get awfully dull.

Hi thea,

Your account on my response was a little too harsh. This is not that what you put is beyond comprehension. I was simply stating the contradictory words you put. As on one hand it read as if you were not married and again it said you have your man. What does it mean. Where from sprouted the Agony Aunts issue here. This is to be borne in the mind while commenting on a fellow lotter that if you are too smart in your command over the discourse others are just no body. This is violation of the mylot TOS and I feel bad to remind you. There could be confusion sometime but this does not invite an insulting comment. You got my point I guess.

Yes why not compromise? Life is not an impregnable rock that you have no option left for any issue. In such case if needed be we have to bend if we are keen on pulling the life wheel.

Hello thea,

well again. I did not read your second comment. Yes might be I had failed to see the humor aspect in the post. Why not we sure need fun time from time to time or else life would turn into a boring burden.

If my above comment feels hurting take it in the lighter vein. A misunderstanding again I guess. Of course Martis' post itself was an indication of implicit humor and might be I felt I needed to try my therapy lol.

Hi krajib, well I hope you caught my humour before you reported me for my many abuses here but your first response did indeed trigger a reaction of annoyance, as really I forget that other people do read responses to the poster (sometimes). My views on people not reading other responses at all were formed by a previous dicsussion of mine where I received 35 almost identical responses, showing that none of them had read any of the responses before their own.
This is not a digression just a reminder to myself that sometimes someone will come along and read something I have written, and whilst I might have disclosed something to Mentalward I probably wouldn't otherwise have disclosed it, as fully aware that our ways over here would indeed be frowned upon by other cultures, but it is how we are. So I will say I am happily divorced and have a man in my life who I do not live with but stay with some times as he stays here sometimes. But never forget there is a large mountain or two between our respective homes. To further muddle the situation there is also an ex who is not the ex husband who unfortunately happens to live nearby, which is why I now prefer to have a mountain in between relationships.

Just immediately after signing in to mylot your comment caught me attention and for some time it left me stunned. How come good friends comments in such a way. I just had cup of tea and I felt my anger boiling up. Me too unfortunately lose temper at the slightest of the cause. Controlled myself and though why to make this tiny aspect a big deal and wrote those lines. and I caught another comment and I realized my mistake.

So thea you to Brute? I mean you too have a sharp reactionary veins. They spoil relation sometime. Its all settle and we are the same as we were before and i loved your idea of the mountain. lol

Well of course all is normal again and how could it not be when you have just introduced a phrase which I will now be using often. No longer will my temper boil for a moment (and then simmer back quickly into place) but instead I shall blame it on my 'sharp reactionary veins'. I love that one.

You were did indeed incur the brunt of my sharp reactionary veins, not long after I discovered on here a blatant anti semetic loser, followed by a German who delighted in his racist comments about Greeks, a people I indulge my sense of humour with but defend totally against insulting remarks. Now don't read this as you being either of the two.

However this morning my sharp reationary veins (please don't tell me you have copyright over this phrase as I am going to be using it all over mylot) are unriseable as I am in indulging in a good mood as just received my 100th best response. And my mistake, it's actually two mountains.

i dont agree with you thea09... will you avoid eating throughout your lifetime just for a fly you see in the food once in your life..? then why saying due to these reasons which the creator said, you are not willing to marry anyone...

A fly in a food? That's gross!

I only wish my husband had more of these trips! Actually, he's supposed to go to Canada sometime this winter for another seminar but I want to go with him for that one. I've never been to Canada and I've made many friends here in myLot from Canada so maybe we could meet. Of course, my body probably won't like Canada in the winter... it gets SO COLD up there!

Very true, savak! I'm going out tomorrow for the day. Today the weather is strange; first rain, now strong winds and later, thunderstorms. So, tomorrow I'll be out seeing what trouble I can get into.

I may even drive into Baltimore (where I'm from) and see some friends. I can't stay long because of my dogs but I it's only a 2 hour drive there and I think the dogs can handle things while I'm gone. (They're Maltese, very sensitive to heat, cold, sun, etc. so they use training pads instead of going outside so no messes in the house except for the pads I'll have to change when I get back.)

Yep, I'm going out and doing things I wouldn't normally do. I plan on taking full advantage of my free time.

Good for you!

I can certainly understand the way you feel, ravinskye. I was a single mom and it got awfully lonely sometimes. Now, it's just my husband and me here and, although I can generally do what I want, I tend to feel guilty if I'm out too long. This is also his first business trip with this company. He just got this job last April. He'll be going to Canada, I believe he said at the end of this year. I thought I'd like to go with him because I've never been to Canada but, well, Canada in the winter? I don't like the cold we get here in northern Virginia in the winter! I doubt strongly that I could handle the cold in Canada.

I'm older now so feeling "single" is especially nice every now and then. Besides, I'll still have my Wednesdays with my kids. They're adults now but come over every Wednesday to spend the day with me. We always have a lot of fun but it's tense none-the-less. My husband has a very warped concept of "family" and doesn't want anyone to come here. He's an extremely private person. I never feel completely comfortable when my kids come over because of his attitude, although it has gotten better since I talked with him about it. This Wednesday should be great!

Now, for your sake, I hope your husband doesn't have to spend too much more time away from home. It sounds like you have a wonderful marriage. I bet he doesn't snore! Well, at least not as bad as my husband does! He can crack windows with the noise!

Yes, exactly! I think it's more that I feel like his maid when he's here and only having to pick up after myself will be a very nice change! I hope he has many more business trips in his future.

He is supposed to be going to Canada this winter and I had thought about going with him but, after more thought, I think I'll stay here. When he can go to Canada in the SUMMER, I'll go with him. This time, I'll just enjoy his being away.

Yes, I'll probably be happy to see him after this trip... or not. LOL I just wish I could train him to be less of a slob like he was when we were dating.

I plan to do whatever, whenever, wherever!

Well, there are some deep issues that need to be addressed but he has refused so far to go to counseling. He is an alcoholic and, although he is not mean when he drinks, I still can't communicate with him when he does. I do not drink at all.

He also has a very bizarre idea of "family". He thinks they should all live very far away and never visit. I love having family around me. He just gets quiet and goes off by himself whenever my sons come to visit. It makes it rather tense when he's like that. I feel like I have to choose between him and my sons (his stepsons).

But, for the most part, we do get along quite well. I just get tired of picking up after him. I have disabilities that make even simple housework hard to do and he just makes it worse by not picking up after himself. Also, there's the snoring issue that he refuses to address. I've told him that I'm going to be moving into another bedroom so I can sleep and, although he said he doesn't want that, he still won't do anything about his snoring and, believe me, it's LOUD! It hurts my ears sometimes and always wakes me up.

I'll enjoy my week without him but will be glad to see him come home again. So far, I have felt free of all the extra chores. It's a good feeling and I'll enjoy it whenever it happens.

Yeah, got them now. your husband and you are made of different metals but fortunately or unfortunately you got united and there are these problems. Well I being myself of my wife I do not make issues like those. If I am to do picking job for myself i do not say no. I am not alcoholic but my wife is quite understanding natured.

Coming down to your problem, can not you convince him of his responsibilities? And as far as his not liking family members around ins not unnatural. Some people really do not like.

Hope things would wear a better look in future.

When he and I first met, he told me that "family" was a big issue with him. He said he loves his family. He acted much differently then than he does now with my family. He changed once we got married.

Yes, we are made of different metals but I make the most of it. I am not terribly unhappy when he is here, I'm just enjoying my alone time. And, no, I have tried to convince him that he is capable of doing some things around the house but he seems determined not to do them. I have been able to compromise and clean up after myself. My things are all in their places while his are scattered everywhere. When he cannot find something that he wants, he has only himself to blame. I do not worry about that anymore. If he really can't stand it, he'll learn to start being a little neater like he was before we were married. He is not incapable of it.

As I am disabled, I am not physically able to do everything around the house. Since he obviously does not care, I just take care of my own things.

But, I am enjoying the quiet at night without his snoring and only cooking for myself for awhile. I'm getting the house cleaned without him constantly making more messes. He is enjoying his trip because he loves his work. We're both happy.

Hi Marti,

First of all i did not mean to counsel you through my response as thea ( amusingly I guess ) put that way. I was taken aback at the very first glance on the post as to how come one feels the taste of freedom when his/her SO gets out of the house. Now I feel I was mislead and to some extent was correct too. After all it depicted a problem for you in the humorous way though.

Well he possesses a good many positive traits as well. Say when he fails to locate anything of his he does not blame any one but takes it on his own which is otherwise in many men including me. lol. That he changed a lot after your marriage can be accepted as normal unless it becomes an issue. Now he is careless and who knows he does all these staff knowingly and would bring himself to the man you would love to see.

Grrrrr! I had typed a response to you and clicked on "submit", but the page wouldn't load and I lost what I had written! Grrrr!

Anyway, I'm glad I could give you a laugh. We have to make the most of life whenever we can, right? I'm just taking full advantage of my 'alone' time.

By the end of this week, though, I might be convinced that I should turn my husband in for a better model. One that does NOT snore! I don't mind cooking for him because I love to cook. He likes much spicier foods than I do so I always have the "hard" spices within his reach. (You know men... can't find anything in the kitchen. )

I like cleaning and washing dishes. I just can't do much of it anymore. It hurts to stand or bend over too much and I get so tired. That's probably the main reason why I wish he'd learn to pick up after himself. But, he is a man so that's most likely wishful thinking.

Yep, sleeping through the night without waking to his snoring, eating whatever I want whenever I want (I like lots of salads and fruits... he just likes meat and beer), going out without explaining where I'm going or when I'll be back, ahhh, what a week I'll have!!!

You enjoy it! I am sure you will, the sleep will be a blessing, NO snoring, what a joy!;))

Btw, i copy my replies, then if the page goes, you can just paste it, its less stressful than having to re type it all, especially if it is a long one...makes you wanna scream! LOL..
Enjoy your chill time!;)
( i want the smileys!) lol