What if you found out that your boyfriend is a gay ....?
By mobhomeir
@mobhomeir (7558)
Philippines
October 7, 2009 5:51pm CST
Hello again guys, I have a friend who has a problem of her boyfriend. She asked for an advise what she would do. I posted this here for us to help her.
TO start with, their (boyfriend/girlfriend) relationship is already four years 'til now. What she told me, her boyfriend is working abroad for already three years if I am not mistaken..They have already plans of getting married until she found out that her boyfriend is a gay...in fact her boyfriend confessed to her that he really is..
If this is your boyfriend would you still continue to marry him?
What would be the risk if the girl continue to marry him?
What's their future ahead specially in the case of their children?
Sorry I am not really offending any one specially on the side of our fay friends.
I just want your honest opinion on this matter cause, who knows this would happen to you or to your relatives..what will you do?
Mobhomeir
4 people like this
13 responses
@irene3184 (898)
• Philippines
8 Oct 09
Well, if she discover that his boyfriend is a gay before she get married she should be thankful because she discover it as early before marriage. The answer is very obvious, don't marry him because you will not be happy for your marriage. Let go and move on with your life. If I were in the situation, I better give up the relationship.I don't care about the duration of time.
2 people like this
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
2 Nov 09
Yes my friend that was also the advice I gave to her...if she cried now I think that would be just for now the next time it would be gone and you could start again...thanks for responding...
@daliaj (5674)
• India
8 Oct 09
I will be shocked to find out that my boy friend is a gay. I can't take it. I am not looking forward to marry a gay person even if I have loved him for many years. In this case it doesnt' make a big difference because the guy was working abroad for a long time and they didn't get to spend a lot of time. I will drop for him for sure. I don't know about what others will do.
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
2 Nov 09
Yes my friend that was the advised I gave to her..I think she did it though the "gay" refused to break with her..I think right now she started already to move on after all what had happen in their relationship///..thanks for responding...
@rsa101 (41005)
• Philippines
8 Oct 09
Well it depends on the gay person. Is he still willing to push through with their plans to get married? If not then much better for the both of them since they will be happy where they belong to. I guess for the girl side I really do not think she would not be happy as well living with a gay person if the guy would not be interested in her.
I think for the happiness of both sides they should separate so everybody is free to express their feelings to other people. I think that forcing themselves into a relationship that is not fit for them would not work in this case.
Although I have seen many gay and normal girl marriages that are successful too. So I would not close the doors if both of them decides to get married and be happy with one another.
1 person likes this
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
2 Nov 09
I got your point my friend. Well it would be their live they would build not ours. What concerns me much are their coming children if they could have??? Thanks for your respond anyway//
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30953)
• United States
8 Oct 09
I would break it off. i know couples that this has happened to and I really think that it's best for both of them to just end it. I am sure that he cares deeply for your friend but he will never be entirely happy. When gay men date or marry women it is almost always because they hope to cover up their homosexual feelings....even from themselves. They fear rejection I think. In fact, I have a good friend who is gay that dated a girl for years before he finally admitted to her that he was. He has moved on and in a very happy relationship with a man now. He and his girlfriend are still the best of friends.
1 person likes this
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
2 Nov 09
Yes my fried. Well said. I am contended of what you said, should I read your reply earlier I think you're the best of my responder this topic...thanks for that...
@cupkitties (7421)
• United States
8 Oct 09
Well there is nothing to work out. Why is there a question of still marrying him? HES GAY!! That means he is attracted to other men and not to females. I could see maybe being his friend but that's about it. I mean there really is no working anything out after hearing that.
1 person likes this
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
2 Nov 09
Yes. If that would push through, your husband might be your rival in admiring men...lol..thanks for your respond...
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
8 Oct 09
Well..it wouldn't really work out for them in my opinion if they go ahead with it. I think that sooner or later that they would want to be happy with their partner. Wanting someone else is never good for a relationship no matter what the situation. I don't think it would be healthy for either one of them. That's just my opinion though.
1 person likes this
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
2 Nov 09
Yes my friend, majority of you here goes that advise. NO and NEVER would they like it...thanks for that my dear...
@LilyoftheThorns (12918)
• United States
8 Oct 09
Well...I dont think that your friend should marry him...how is that even on the table any more after he confessed his sexuality to her? He still wants to marry her??
I don't think that it would be a healthy thing for EITHER of them to go forward with...of course they could still be friends and keep that relationships. But marriage? I don't think that is right at all.
A marriage like this...neither of them would get their personal needs...I mean, even if they cheated on each other (even if they both knew and were ok with it) it's STILL cheating in a marriage and not right...
I think the best thing for your friend to do would be break off the relationship, tell him (if it's true) that she still wants to see him as a friend...and let him know that she still cares about him and does not judge him for who he is.
1 person likes this
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
2 Nov 09
Yes I think we have the same thought of my friend's problem. Thanks for that share..
@saundyl (9783)
• Canada
8 Oct 09
IF i was engaged to a man and he came out and said "I'm gay" I don't think i would be able to marry him. I'd call the wedding off. Marrying someone who is interested in someone else is just asking for an unhappy marriage - almost saying yes dear its ok to marry me then cheat on me.
I would be VERY glad that he told me before we made the commitment to each other. I would be VERY VERY hurt to find something like that out after the fact and even then i still wouldnt stay with him.
Do they already have children together? If not i cant see them having kids together unless in reality hes actually bi not gay.
1 person likes this
@lelin1123 (15594)
• Puerto Rico
8 Oct 09
If my fiance came forward and told me "I'M GAY" No I would not marry him. That would be the dumbiest thing anyone could do. She should be happy that he told her before the wedding. I wonder why he put her thru this to begin with. She wasted so many years on a guy who really was not into her. I feel so bad for her.
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
2 Nov 09
That's right my friend. What a waste of relationship. Anyway it was better she knew it before they finally get married..thanks for responding anyway...
@sharlionse (739)
• Philippines
8 Oct 09
Oh.. I think I should not marry him because I know he'll not be happy with me anymore. Moreso, I should understand his feelings. If he doesn't want to marry me, I should let him go. In the first place, he confided that secret because maybe he wanted me to free him.
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
2 Nov 09
You have an idea on this matter my friend..thanks for your share...thanks for responding...
@LetranKnight25 (33117)
• Philippines
8 Oct 09
hello mobhomeir,
We can all say things here and there yapidi-yapidiyap
. but the thing is, she's the one who should make up her mind. just to tell you some that are not complete stories here, i agree with jaiho here, there are a lot of gay who are married to women but probably not often talked about if they're in showbiz.
How ever their is a story that i want to share. in one of the shows in wowawee, about a gay who married a woman and they have two children. you know he was happy that he choose her because for him it's unstable for him if he choose a guy. they have two kids and they know their dad is gay....
well, they both have to talked about it and see how long the gay can love her. if she see's him/her having an affair with a guy then that's the straw..should break up with him immediately..like i said, it's up to her.@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
2 Nov 09
Yes. But if we would analyze and be practical of the chances I think out of five marriages that way only one or none would push through. Just be practical, what would you do? Or if someday you will know it from one of your children, you let them go? If one of five marriages succeed, maybe the homosexual one changed as their life being husband and wife go along the way...
I advised my friend not to continue no matter what..and that's also the advise of the most here...thanks for your share then my friend...I appreciate it..
@gracefuldove (1668)
• Malaysia
8 Oct 09
She has to take the risks of sharing him with male lovers. AIDS is always there to infect her. She would not be able to take this kind of pressure, for sure. As such, leave the boy. It is not worth it.No future. Kaput relationship!
1 person likes this
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
2 Nov 09
Certainly yes my friend...I got your point. Thanks for responding..
@Rite17 (773)
• United Kingdom
8 Oct 09
think its best not to marry as she wouldn't be happy sexually with him and neither wouold he.. The kids will still have a dad, just have to see him at seperate times not together with mum. AS for the whole 'coming out', I thought i had that happen with a friend... but she soon changed her status again...unsure if she was joking or really had a fling with a woman... Unsure.. lol
1 person likes this
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
2 Nov 09
Yes you're right my friend...we have the same idea..thanks for that respond..
