is love the deciding factor on whom to marry?

i think he loves her just because of financial security. though i will not say that he abuses her in any way as he truly loves her for providing a good life for him. but he once told me that he is taking this woman seriously already and will not look on other woman anymore as this woman he thinks can provide a good life for him. and so i think that he still loves her in a way. but he admits he loves more the younger woman he courted before but still too young for him and wants an older woman who is financially stable already. i think that he can learn to love her and i think it is not hard for him to love her it is just that he is not head over heels over this woman. and his philosophy in his life is head over heart. but i think that he is not going to abuse her financially in any way and just leave her off life that. he will of course take her seriously as long as the woman take him seriously.

If he can love her,then okay.But,in the future,if he can earn well and more than his expectations,will he come out of this relationship and look for some one young?Will his love for this older girl last even then?If so,this relation can be justified.Cheers!

yeah i think he sees his relationship with this woman as forever or permanent one and no longer will look for younger women. as this friend of mine seems able to forget what he feels and able to follow what he thinks is good for him. he thinks practicality is more important than love or what we feel inside. i mean he can forget his first love easily but he can't just let this opportunity of having a partner with stable life pass.

i guess marrying for stability in life is for practicality reason than by love.

yeah it is just awful i know. i guess that is how life works now for some people or many people now i think. though most people still prefer to be with people they are truly in love with.


and i don't actually blame him cause i think woman knows he only liked her because of the money and love is only secondary reason. but she doesn't mind and still she takes it for her advantage cause she knows as long as she provide for him she can be secure over the faithfulness of my friend's love . and that is all that matters to her now actually, which is for him to stay with her even if the reason was because of money.

Hi there, you have a point. But i have to disagree with you on a specific aspect. I negate your statement that its the woman who is taking advantage of your friend. As you have said she is older than him, so there is a bit of insecurity in her state. She provides for your friend with the thought in mind that she is doing it for love or to make him stay with him, whatever could be her reason is hers, it's not wrong to do that. But your friend is wrong.

i am not saying she is taking advantage of my friend it is the other way around as you mentioned. but i am just saying that she feels it is her advantage that this guy is for security and money so she feels more secure on this kind of relationship. i think that there are some women who are the ones who provide for the men because of the same reason. the man is looking for women who can provide for them. i know some of them in real life. it is really bad. but i can't blame any one of them. as long as they can remain faithful to each other i guess it is just alright. it is better than having no one to love you.

he just seems to be too happy ending up with this woman. they just started on online chat two months ago and now they are living together. the woman does not want to get out of his home and want to stay there with him now permanently . she said she just wanted to stay there to help him start a business now it seems that the woman want to start a family now and my friend is not against it cause it is alright with him as the woman has given the money to start his business already. not that big amount but for him it was already that big. actually it is just a small business. but more needed to continue with the business. he just needed the girl to give some money to start it and he is the one to find other source of capital elsewhere. anyways, he does not seem to be sorry any time soon for his decision and he may be not feel sorry at all . he just seem too happy to find a girl online who is willing enough to agree with his terms or conditions.

yeah love must be the main reason but i guess some people with the hard life now just opt to marry for stability in life.

i think love is important than anything else regardless if the person is rich or not. but if love is one way only or if the other person does not love us the way we love them then it is better to find some one who love us and can give a better life for us. finding a partner who is stable is not actually bad but as long as we are not using them it is just fine. but it sometimes is hard to say whether it is wrong or not. i too am clueless sometimes if my motive was wrong or right.

yeah i think it is really cruel too to take her as a way to have money or provide her a good life. and eve her mother is taking advantage of it too. her mom is going to borrow money from this woman to start her own business too. that is why her mom accepted this woman for him cause of the money reason too.

but i think that he loves women generally but he just prefer to be with a woman who is older and more stable as he thinks that he can control his feelings or forget the person he loves more . he just loves her less compared to his true love or to any ideal girl out there.

I hope your friend realizes that so that he will be truly happy and will not regret his decision in the future

true but I think its more important to think of what hes doing to this woman...he's using her and by doin so is preventing HER from finding true love and happiness and that just makes my skin crawl..

i just hope so too that he will be forever contented with his decision.

for the woman, i think she really loves him though she can feel that she is just being used. i don't know if she will regret this decision. since it is hard to find your true love these days, maybe that is why she opted to marry my friend cause she likes him though he is using her. maybe she finds it hard to find any one who will love her not to judge her but i had heard that she is not lucky in love or in finding man who will love her maybe she just accepted my friend though he is after money.

i just hope that he will stick with the woman even if she loses her money or not able to provide any more for him.

i just hope he realizes what he is doing is not right sooner before it is too late. i don't want my friend to be like this.