Child Neglect

seriously i think someone made what they saw seem like more than it was and child protection people are so geared towards finding the bad in people they seem to assume it in everyone. i think you were being a perfectly good parent and if your daughter is that responsible then she should have the right to keep an eye on her siblings. and you were keeping an eye out too so i dont know what thier issue is but they need to have an internal investigation or something because theres just something fishy about the whole thing i think. is it possible to file a complaint of wrongfull accusations i wonder?

You did what you thought was right for your children I think they have to investigate any claim of child neglect and that is good I mean its how they catch real crimes of neglect.
Personally no i think a 9 year is NOT responsible enough to look after two small children of that age BUT she is your child and only you know if she has the capabilitys.
Dont feel bad about it all any mother tries to do is their best maybe you were misguided like I say I would never allow a 9 year old to look after such young children in fact any children but that is my opinion.

I don't understand how it is that you were charged with neglect and i have lived in many apartment complexes in which children under the age of 5 run around in the parking lots and play in the play areas with no supervision and well past it getting dark outside...Your situation should have never been a blip on the radar of those looking for neglectful parents...

Hi, Shortbunny. No it doesn't sound as if you're a bad parent. Obviously you love your kids. But I do think leaving a 9 year old child in charge of two toddlers is irresponsible. Some adults can't handle two children at the same time, and you know how quick they can be, right?

I'm sure your 9 year old is a lovely child, but she's 9. A 9 year old can't even be held responsible for herself, let alone other children. If they had been in your own garden, where you could see them easily out of a window, it would be different.

I don't know if you know about the Madeleine McCann case? She was kidnapped 2 years ago while her family were on holiday in Portugal. They were 10 yards away from their apartment, and someone sneaked in and took that little girl without being seen. It takes only seconds for someone in a car to pull up alongside kids, open the door, grab them in the car, and drive away. Or even, seconds for even an adult to turn their head the other way, during which time, the toddler runs into the middle of the road just as a car tears around the corner.

I think if you were to tell the appeal process that you appreciate the danger the kids were put in, and that now you've realised that, you wouldn't do it again, they might be willing to consider it.

It certainly doesn't seem like you would deliberately harm your kids, but it does sound like potentially they could have been in harms way due to lack of thought for a short period of time. But we're all only human, and we're all learners.

Good luck.

I'm sorry you had to go through this, but while your 9-yr-old daughter may be mature and responsible for her age, your neighbors had no way of knowing that. In their eyes, they saw something that was potentially a dangerous situation and acted on it. I think that's commendable. So many people would just turn their head away. However, the effects of being investigated seem too harsh. What's the point of investigation if you're already being condemned? I think a warning would have been enough. Perhaps you can appeal this?

It sounds to me like someone was trying to make something out of nothing. As far as my children go, I let my oldest play in the front yard and even up the street with the other kids that live on our street. All of the parents in the neighborhood all keep an eye out on the children. My daughter is almost seven years old, by the way.
As far as my youngest goes, and my two nieces that I babysit, I will not let them play in the front of the house, but rather in the backyard, which is fenced in. I sometimes go out in the back yard with them and other times I will watch them from the window in my office. Our backyard has a privacy fence with a gate that latches far too high up for them to be able to reach.
I don't think that you are a bad parent, I think it is rather commendable that your oldest daughter is able to be trusted the way that she is.

It really does sound like someone just being plain mean. I think it is a good idea to start giving children responsibilties little by little because as you say it helps their self-esteem but it also teaches them valuable life lessons. It sounds as if she is very responsible, and that her younger sisters look up to her.

I am glad there were no criminal charges, but knowing that someone is being ugly like this, perhaps it just best if you are with them for the time being. I'm not saying what you did was wrong, in fact I think it very right, I'm just saying perhaps just for the time being it best to stay with them.

You also may wish to contact an attorney and find out what the state laws are and how to remove your name from the state list.

Namaste-Anora

That seems crazy. I don't see how any of that could be labeled neglect. Hopefully there is a way to get that fixed and removed.

Wow, i'm not a parent myself but i can see that that isn't child neglect. I remember I used to go outside alone when i was younger than 9! I don't see anything wrong with that.Almost a black belt in taekwondoe! She could beat me up in 2 seconds i guarantee it.Your 9 year old is more responsible than me Lol. Well whatever forget them you are a fine parent in my opinion.

Times have changed drastically. When I was young it was not uncommon for a nine year old to be watching over their little brothers and sisters. These days any report from a busybody can bring false charges.

I do not think you a bad mother. If I were raising my children now, I wonder what would happen to me and my kids. I was a single mom and my son had a great deal of responsibility. He used to have to watch his sister who was 7 years younger. He was a mature, responsible boy.

We have become so out of balance. Parents who are concerned about their children and teaching them responsibility come under attack by those who place themselves in judgment and those who really neglect and abuse remain obscured until something horrible happens.

Each child is different, at ten years old my daughter was babysitting our friends toddlers. They lived close by and she would call and check in, but she was mature and responsible and good with children.

I am sorry this happened to you and wish you well in the appeal.