All you need is love or could it be this simple?  |
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| So I'm googling around looking for marriage help and I find this: http://www.marriagebuilde... And I start reading everything that's on this site from start to finish. And what this Dr. Harley person has to say (mostly) resonates with me and feels true. And I've got Richard reading it too and so far he's excited about it. Well to summarize what I'm babbling about here as far as what on this website is striking a nerve (synopsis for Thea): Most people get married because they love the person they are marrying People start getting disenchanted because: - the other person isn't meeting their emotional needs or - the other person is doing things repetitively that bother them - they aren't spending enough quality time together - they don't communicate the problems for fear of hurting the other person, etc. - they disagree on things and go off on their own and do whatever they want How do you fix it? You get the love back by: - doing the things that do meet the other person's emotional needs - not doing the things that bother, annoy, anger, hurt, etc. the other person - communicate openly - spend time together - they both agree on what they're going to be doing or they just don't do it Assuming no abuse and assuming both people are receptive to changing, sounds so simple. I wonder if it can work? | | | | | |
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1. reeyan (934)
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3 years ago
| | Hi dawnald Very good discussion in deed. Many time we have seen that misunderstanding and communication gape is the main cause of the disenchant of the family member. The family relation is based on the emotion of the member. We should honor to each other. married life is not a contract but an emotional binding. Ans if emotion is hurt then many inconvenience may comes to the family. | | | | | | |
dawnald (24280)
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3 years ago
| | I guess it's both an emotional binding and a contract, but both can be broken. | | | |
reeyan (934)
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3 years ago
| | Hi Actually every thing can be broken ... But the beauty of life lies in how can we keep it remain unbroken. | | | |
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dawnald (24280)
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3 years ago
| | Respect is very important. You may not agree with what the other person wants, but if you can respect that it's important to them and do it anyway, it's a good start. | | | |
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3. ANTIQUELADY (16514)
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3 years ago
| | Dawn, i hope it works for y'all. Can't hurt to try it. GOOD LUCK. | | | | | | |
dawnald (24280)
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3 years ago
| | Nope, can't hurt... | | | |
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4. savypat (13320)
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3 years ago
| | It seems to me for this to work both parties must be clear as to the goals and expectations in this agreement, after all most of the problems start and end with communication. It's best to put it in writing and both to sign. Do not sign unless you totally agree with everything in the contract, work on the wording until you both are satisfied. You will be amazed on how much better you are both feeling after just doing the work to get the contract made. Blessings | | | | | | |
dawnald (24280)
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3 years ago
| | I hadn't thought to put it in writing, but clearly both parties must agree. :-) | | | |
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dawnald (24280)
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3 years ago
| | Not quite sure if I'm patient, stubborn or just afraid to leave and screw up the kids. But if he's seriously willing to work on it, I think it's worth one more go... | | | |
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6. cloudwatcher (4168)
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3 years ago
| | Dawn it all sounds very logical and "abc" to me. The main ingredient is a desire to WANT things to work out. If that is there, there is no barrier. | | | | | | |
dawnald (24280)
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3 years ago
| | Want to work things out and follow through - it's the follow through that's the important thing to me at this point. | | | |
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dawnald (24280)
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3 years ago
| | This post contains content of a mature nature. You must be Signed in or Registered to have the option to view this content. | | | |
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8. gabs8513 (23375)
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3 years ago
| | It sounds far to simple and I guess the big part is that the 2 People still love one another and are willing to refresh their Marriage I do hope it can work as it might help some Marriages to get the Marriage back together | | | | | | |
dawnald (24280)
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3 years ago
| | that the 2 People still love one another - that is the big question... | | | |
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| 9. username182 (52)
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3 years ago
| | people can change but if they have to whats the point in being together? and if they do really want to be together whats the point in leaving? stay with someone for who they are and how u feel around them | | | | | | |
dawnald (24280)
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3 years ago
| | So I should accept being with somebody for who they are no matter what they're doing that hurts me and the children? | | | |
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10. Irishfrndly65 (8534)
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3 years ago
| | Actually I think that it can, but one can't do it alone. I'm testimony to that....er...well..ONE can...but let's see how long they last. It is simple, it's called caring enough about the other person to try and love them in THEIR love language. Everyone is different....but......compromise is a beautiful thing. Love CAN be "healed" but, as you said, BOTH parties have to work at it, make it happen, care enough to do what needs doing. | | | | | | |
dawnald (24280)
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3 years ago
| | I think it can start with one person, but ultimately you're right, if the other person doesn't eventually come around and participate, it won't work. | | | |
Irishfrndly65 (8534)
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3 years ago
| | Yip...just don't go as long as I did...or...maybe you already have? I don't know...don't listen to me..what do I know? LOL! | | | |
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