Married! Ten Years, No Kids! Spouse Wants a Divorce, Fight or Give Up??   

...Hi francisco1981, I would not want to have you think that this is my personal situation, because it is not. But in real life, these things do happen all the time. Counseling would be my first choice, if this did actually happen to me. If you have been with someone, say as long as you have with your girlfriend, one would hope that there is enough substance and depth in the relationship, that a couple could find reason to stay together and rekindle what they once had, if this did happen. Thank you so much for responding, take care.

...Hi Beautyfactor, I think, knowing myself and the way I have been during my life, I don't want anyone who does not want me. So if I were confronted with the situation, I would talk to him, as you would and find out why he felt the way he did, if there was something that we could do like counseling then I would be willing to give it one last shot. If he did not want to go through counseling, then the best thing to do would be to let him go. Life is much too short to try to keep someone in a relationship, when they want to leave. I agree with you. Thanks so much for your response. Take care.

...Hi there giftsandbagscom, Jiminy crickets, you have actually experienced such a thing. Thank you for telling us about it. I think that if a person falls out of love with their spouse or stops loving them, the only thing that will happen, in my opinion, if you try to stop the divorce, is that they will start to despise you. If they want out, let them go, find as you say, your better life in another place and space. Who would want someone who does not want them? I say run, don't walk, keep your self-respect. Take care and thanks again for sharing.

...Hi there ibuemma, I think that you gave a good point, Talk to your spouse to find out why they do not love you anymore, if they can or will tell you. If they really want to leave the relationship, I would say let them go and move on with your life. It is as you say, two people have to work at it, marriage takes dedication to making it a success each and every day. If the love is gone, what is going to keep you there? Thank you for your thoughtful response. Take care.

...Hi olydove, I think what you say makes good sense. If there had been no indication that he was dissatisfied with the marriage, then I would certainly want to know from him why he feels the way he did. We would talk it over, and after talking about it, if I saw that he was totally sincere about wanting a divorce and there was no love left for him to give me, then I would let him start proceedings and I would not contest it. I would get on with the rest of my life and try to find happiness where I could. Thank you for a very reasonable response. Take good care.

...Hi there Wizzywig, I would certainly agree with you. Someone once said, "when the fire has gone out, you do not need the firetruck any more." So as you say, who wants to be in a one-sided relationship? The only thing that would grow would be hostility and anger. Let the person go where they want to go and you keep walking. Time can do a lot to heal wounds. Look for happiness around another corner. Thanks so much for stopping by. Take good care.

...Hi there astonysh, I think you can see that your relationship is pretty solid. I think that most people, if they are communicating and sharing in a relationship could recognize if things were gettimg strange and would try to do something to find out what the problem is, before it gets to critical mass and the spouse asks for a divorce. But sometimes these things happen out of the blue. It takes two to keep it together and it sounds like the two of you ar doing a good job of doing just that. Thanks for your reply. Take care.

...Hi crysontherocks77, Thank you for sharing your brother's story. I have to let you know that this is purely hypothetical. If in rewality, one person has no feelings left for the other person in a relationship, I think the smart thing to do would be to have a no fault divorce if available and let it go. There is nothing more exasperating than to try to hold on to someone who wants to leave you. Move on if this happens to you in real life. Thanks so much for responding. Take care.

...Hi there sid, Hope you are doing well. That is my opinion as well. Your words are my thoughts exactly. If you try to change the person's mind, when they tell you they don't love you any more, you are underminding the individual. In essence you are trying to tell them that they don't know their own mind. That sets up a battle of wills, and for what? Let the person go, hold on to your self-respect because you are putting yourself in a begging situation, if you try to make them stay with you. Give them the divorce and look for happiness sonewhere else. Wish them well, and it is so as you say, if you love the person, you want them to be happy. Thanks for a well thought out response. Take good care.

I know how hard a break up is. it took me a while to learn that lesson but it really is not worth the battle.

...Hi there jugsjugs, Hope you are doing well. I think as you think, if they want to leave, though I would be hurt, if I still loved them, I would let them do what they wanted to do. You certainly can't keep someone by sheer force if they have lost the love they had for you. If after talking about it, perhaps counseling if both agree, they still want to leave, I say let them go. Good luck to them and God bless. Thanks so much for your reply, take care.