"Hi hatley are you okay? are You Sure? Really are you alright"

@Hatley (163781)
Garden Grove, California
October 4, 2010 12:09pm CST
Sometimes people baffle me even when I have known them for awhile. I come walking down the hall feeling great, and leaning on my qaud' cane as I have a balance problem, probably diabetic oriented. Then I meet a friend, "Hi hatley You alright? I say, I am fine, and then " Are you sure?" I smile or laugh and say" well I would be the first to know if I wasn"t?" so okay I was standing waiting for the access bus awhile back to take me back to Gold C rest. this lady stops on the way inside to the doctor's office I presumed and she says." are you okay?{" I smile and say oh I am fine, just waiting for my ride" and she goes :Can I be of any help?" and i shook my head while thinking what if I had said oh please drive me back to Garden Grove and Dawson street? I imagine she would not have been a happy camper. This time after she went inside I checked my blood sugar, no I was not okay. really high.400 and the bus due in ten minutes. but I made it home and got my diabetes medication. but almost all the other times when I am asked this I am feeling fine.You take on this, do people ever ask you if you are okay when you are feeling really great? Does it irritate you at times? At other times I just smile and laugh it off.
10 people like this
42 responses
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
4 Oct 10
Well, since I rarely see another person during the week I don't get asked that a lot! So count your blessings that you have people concerned about you. Maybe they see a little change in your color or the way you move that concerns them but that you can't detect? Change your answer from "I'm fine" to "I'm terrific, what a lovely day! How are you doing?" and that will take the focus off you and put it somewhere else.
4 people like this
@GardenGerty (158055)
• United States
4 Oct 10
This is very good advice. It might even make them stop and think for a minute or two. Maybe they are not as okay as they think, and they are projecting it off on Hatley.
3 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
5 Oct 10
hi dragon and Garden, this last guery came from the sweetest lady wheelchair bound with the sweetest smile always. I was huffing and 'puffing as I had hurried down the hall to the elevator and we shared'it and she asked,"are you sure you are okay?" I told her it was nothing that losing fifty pounds would not cure, and we both laughed at that. I did ask her how she was doing as she really could walk only a few steps. and she came up with Oh I am fine as long it doesnt rain and the creek doesnt rise. we parted with laughter on both our parts. the bravery of some people here makes me really admire their courage.
3 people like this
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
5 Oct 10
Hatley, people like that are a joy to be around. They humble me with their bravery and grace. People like that have no reason to be cheerful and encouraging yet they are both and what an inspiration they are, what cheer they spread! Give her a smile for me next time you see her.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
4 Oct 10
Yah..are you okay? You have been a little quiet these days or I have not been too active around here and missed a lot of friends discussions. I hope you are in the pink of health and your diabetes is under control. I think some people do not have much to say when they accidentally bump into each other, so in order to sound polite they ask question that will surely get a positive answer. I have never being asked whether am okay as I always make sure that I paint myself (make-up) when ever I go out so I won't look pale. With an untouched face I will look like a sickly person.
4 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
5 Oct 10
hi zandi oh yes I am okay as long as I do not let my sweet tooth rule me. lol.I have the same problem. without some blush and some foundation my skin is very pale,white even. comes from long term anemia but I take iron every darned day still I am pale. My last blood tests were normal but if I do not take the iron I am a little low in redblood cells. I do think its all the medications I take for high blood pressure and my diabetes. but I am really feeling great as long as I keep tight control of my blood sugar. Even when I was little I always had a pale complexion.
2 people like this
• United States
5 Oct 10
One time I had been really "out of it" for a better word and had just started to be able to motivate again. We went shopping, which was not the smartest thing to do, I was standing in check out line and to be honest really felt like I was going to pass out. The cashier kept asking me if I was ok and I kept telling her I was but she must have asked me 2 or 3 times. It didn't upset me cause if I looked anything like I felt, I probley looked like I was going to pass out on her. Problem was I had been to the dr and hospitals for test and they said there was nothing wrong with me! I would assume with your blood sugar at 400 you did NOT look ok and hence the concern. Maybe you should have told her NO I am not. Please take me home! I had a manager when I was working that would always ask me if I was ok and I knew it was a prelude to work, like asking was being polite. One day I told her "NO! I am having a sinus allergy attack and I feel like crap" and she said "well, your familiar with this so you must have medicine to take. We need this cake case filled."....come to think of it she was the one that fired me! Think it was related?
3 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Oct 10
hi christmas I was really in a quandry that day as my bus was due to pick me up in fifteen minutes and if I went back into the doctors I might be in there too long and the bus will only wait for five minutes. so I just told the lady I was okay. I d o not think she would have wanted to drive me ten miles back to my retirement center. I have stayed with the doctor I have had for many years ev en though he is in T ustin and I am in Garden Grove.my bus is a small bus that takes seniors to their appointments then returns to take them home.
1 person likes this
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
4 Oct 10
Hi sweetie, how are you? Sure you are okay? Oh sorry, did i say that out loud? That is life and people sweetie. You should try and take your meds with sweetie. I don't want anything happening to you, okay. TATA.
3 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
5 Oct 10
hi saphrina I am fine tonight and am okay for sure.lol.yes people are funny and wonderful and awful and I guess I am too as I am one people lol.I am really being a good person tonight eating right and taking my meds so I will not have high blood sugar.
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
5 Oct 10
I am glad to hear that sweetie. Please take care of yourself, okay. I need you here everyday.
3 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Oct 10
hi saphrina that is sweet thanks and I am fine really.
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
5 Oct 10
Hi Hatley, Hope that you are always fine and healthy! I do find that it is warmth when other asking me "are you alright? At least I know that someone is concern about me. At many time when someone need to take their medicine, they tend to ignore it and saying that they are okay. It happen to my colleague as well where she having stone in her kidney and we can see that she is quite painful from the face. We keep asking her to go to see the doctor just in case something is not right with her. But she keep saying:"I am alright!" And we keep asking her "Are you alright?"
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Oct 10
yspmyl I had not though of that as I am one who hates to go to my doctor until I just have to and its not because I do not like him, I really like him a lot as he had been my doctor for many years and he knows my health more than any new doctor would. I just do not like doctoring mostly because I just put it off til something is wrong and I just have to go. I suppose I am my own worst enemy as if I had gone at first sight of a problem it would not be a big deal. S o yes I have been guilty of saying I am okay when I am really just so so. at least I do take my meds on time each day.
1 person likes this
@carpediem17 (1315)
• Singapore
5 Oct 10
hi Hatley - yup there are occasions when this afflict me. But I brush it aside on the assumption that although I'm quite ok internally, I may be looking a wreck externally. And these people are overly concerned or zealous in asking. I will try then to change the topic. I guess sometimes it borders on the irritation but we can't have it all, I guess.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Oct 10
hi carpediem hi I always feel like laughing out aloud and saying oh my do I look that awful as I feel great. I think that may also sort of change the subject as most women love to talk about their looks any old time. I do try not to show irritation but try to tell myself be grateful someone cares. My own son did that to me yesterday and I had to be truthful as my right knee was yelling arthritis at me. He was satisfied with my answer. lol.
1 person likes this
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
4 Oct 10
i dont mind it but what i hate is when people ask how you are doing but dont really care for your answer. i have a number of health issues, money issues, etc but how are you is such a flip question.
3 people like this
• Philippines
5 Oct 10
Hi, Hatley. Concerns are very much appreciated but sometimes their persistence, though we already said we're fine but they kept on insisting we're not, can be really irritating sometimes. I get that too whenever my ulcer attacked. I often get pale but I know what to do already and I would know if I am not okay . Just give me a some minutes to recover but then they would ask me if I am okay and if I am okay and if I am sure that I am okay. Oh, well. As much as I struggle with the little patience that I have for that moment, I try to tell them that I am okay and just leave me as it is. Though sometimes I feel a little guilt because I know they are just looking after me.
3 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Oct 10
hi totallyundecided yes its like that with me as my blood sugar goes up and down at times and that may make me look pale or flushed but I know what to do so I usually say I am okay just ate too much or I will be okay once I drink some orange juice but if the questioning goes on I just excuse myself. some who are really concerned are oddly worse off than I am which makes me feel so humble.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
4 Oct 10
I get it once in a while. I guess I'll be getting a lot more of it as I get older, huh? What irritates me is the husband constantly pushing "help" at me, and then getting annoyed or laying on the guilt when I don't want it.
3 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
5 Oct 10
hi dawn oh yes I know that one, both my hubby and my son were the type who when I just want to talk to them about a problem and am not asking at all for help, they were quick to try to fix things and then when I said I did not want you to do it for me, they would get all upset and make me feel bad for not accepting their help. I am long widowed now'but my son takes over now the same as always. Do not they see that we are intelligent and really can do for ourselves? I am not the little woman nor was I ever. lol lollol
2 people like this
@celticeagle (160530)
• Boise, Idaho
5 Oct 10
Maybe you looked flushed or something and that is why she asked. I know animals can tell if there is something wrong. Like with people who have secures. They are great animals. Have you heard of these? I saw a documentary about it on public tv a few weeks ago. It was amazing.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
5 Oct 10
hi celtic eagle yes I saw that documentary. also we now have dogs trained to tell when a person is going into low blood sugar and I think it is amazing how accurate they say these dogs are. truly amazing. Oh I was huffing and puffing having walked faster than usual down the hall to catch the elevator with the sweet lady in the wheelchair.she seemed so worried about me and I was trying my best to reassure her I w as just fine. I think a lot of very overweight huff and puff when they try to run.y es we do need to get that weight down.My ekg always comes out with the words benign condition, heart is fine. the cardiologist said that a lot of overweight people huff and puff as they are not breathing deeply enough and are likely to be mouth breathing.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Oct 10
I need to lose sixty more pounds, I did lose 25 without even knowing igt as i was cutting bac k on carbs and drinking a lot of water just to get my too high blood sugar down. this is the third time for this comment as mylot seems d etermined to make me yell at my computer for deleting my other two comments.do not wait celtic til you keel over just cut back on carb s, eat half the serving and drink more water than the manadatory 8 to 10 glasses. it worked for me so it might work for you.I need to lose 60 more pounds b ut my doctor says jut six pounds a month so this will be a slow process.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (160530)
• Boise, Idaho
11 Oct 10
So I need to get me a huge list of all that are carbs. I used to drink alot of water and did a good job of losing. That was two years ago. Can't seem to get into the right way of thinking again. Hopefully you can get that other 6o off. That'd be great!
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
4 Oct 10
gee, i wish people would ask me sometimes, but they seldom do.maybe i look ok when im not? often people think im just being cranky or giving them dirty looks if i dont feel good. its usually what my sons gf's think im doing. not realising i just dont feel good. ive taken to wearing sun glasses when i dont feel good so they wont see if im scowling. its good that people care about you dear. be happy for that. hugs, bon
3 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
5 Oct 10
me too for your sake Bunnybon. yes it really is because much as I get'irked when push came to shove. and I had very low blood sugar 'I actually did pass out and everyone was quick to get me something with quick sugar.I had to laugh later as all myfriend overdid it and my blood sugar went up to 200; its tricky to know just how much to take without having that happen.but people here do care.
2 people like this
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
4 Oct 10
Hello Hatley, Are you sure you are fine Oh,my,i hate those lines. It would make me feel not fine,honestly,it irritates me when people asks for the second time if i am fine as if they know better. I could asks help if i am not feeling fine,and why should i let myself stumble down the street before asking someone's help (ugh) Okay,i am not mad dear (hehehe) just wonder why people act like that (maybe they care too much,uhmnn,i hope so ) Have a good day always and hope you are fine now
3 people like this
@vandana7 (99234)
• India
4 Oct 10
And the same folks would not be around when things are not okay. :) Tell me about it. :)
3 people like this
@oldchem1 (8132)
4 Oct 10
I'm worried about you Hatley! Are you okay, are you sure? When I was much younger around 25 years ago, I'd go into the local shops in the village where I lived and everyone would ask'Was I better?' 'Was I okay?' - it turned out that my dear old mum was going around with her pessimistic head on saying 'I'm worried about Susan,she's not at all well!!'- I WASN'T ill and it was very infuriating, so I know where you'r coming from! But you just go and take your meds and settle down are you sure you're alright!!!!!
3 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
5 Oct 10
hi oldchem1 I can just hear your Mom as my own mom was a lot like that too and I had had town people ask me the same thing.when you live in a small town everyone knows everyone and people are really honest to the point o outspokend. lol lol. but right I must take my meds and forget I am a diabetic with a sweet tooth as that just gets me into trouble. it was the marshmallows fault. lol.
2 people like this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
5 Oct 10
Hi there Hatley, Ya, I get that all the time....all the time. I work in a store and if I'm not smiling hugely, I guarantee you that I will get someone asking me if I'm ok and then "are ya sure? Do you want to talk?" Then they will say that I'm not my usual bubbly self. Well, if the store is busy and I'm focusing on moving the line along then I may not have a smile pasted on my face and that would be because I'm not pausing to chat with the customers who make me laugh and smile...not the time to. Then along comes the concerned person and totally holds up the line with his inquiries. Geez...why?? In their concern, people sometimes say all the wrong things. I'm like you...sometimes I just laugh it off but sometimes it's just irritating. All said and done....I know they mean well.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Oct 10
hi sid oh I can well imagine and yet if they had to wait in line while you traded jokes with other customers they would be fuming. p eople are so funny at times.Like you I cannot always have a phony smile pasted on my face as maybe I really am not feeling all that great and its not physical most times but just from worry or stress. So I sort of fudge it as surely saying I am fine should be enough but with some it just does not register and I think they sense maybe I do not feel really happy. I just try to remember people usually do care.
1 person likes this
@bagumbayan (2705)
• Philippines
5 Oct 10
Maybe it is the cane that you are using that makes them worried about you. At least people worries about you. But sometimes it is irritating. Just smile and be happy at least people are thinking about you.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Oct 10
hi bagumbayan I think it is the cane as its four feet look imposing but I only use it as I have a balance problem probably caused by diabetes. Yes the ones who are my closest friends I do give them the benefit of the doubt but still it is irksome when you have just said you feel great.
1 person likes this
@Lore2009 (7378)
• United States
4 Oct 10
OH MAN, I hate those lines!! People need to worry about themselves first of all. You should tell them "I'm fine, but what's wrong with you?" Hahaha. That is now an inside joke for me and my sis because we knew a girl who always asked "ARE YOU OKAY!?" and she had major problems of her own.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
5 Oct 10
oh hi lore, wheres Data tonight? I am a startrek fan. anyway I too]just really feel odd when after saying I am fine, I am asked are you sure" well now who else would be more sure than myself. lol lol
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Oct 10
hi not fair of us. Data was one of the crew in the tv series StarTrek and Lore was his brother, they were both sort of human and robot at the same time. without having seen this series you of course would not have an inkling about what we asked. sorry.I think that after this if someone asks if I am okay I will say instead I am really fine as okay seems to leave room for doubt with people who do care about me.
@Lore2009 (7378)
• United States
6 Oct 10
Everyone always asks where Data is.. ahha, I didn't know what you guys were talking about.. anyways, exactly, you know you best. I think some trust would help us rather than doubt and worry.
1 person likes this
@gdesjardin (1918)
• United States
5 Oct 10
Most days I am smiling and laughing and can talk to anyone. However, on some days I just don't feel like "being the life of the party". When I am quiet everyone with ask me if I feel okay, or if I am sad, or mad, or whatever. It drives me crazy sometimes. Aren't I allowed a quiet day or two? Yes it does irritate me, because they ask over and over and over again. I have had people sometimes also tell me I look sick (when in fact I feel well). Usually when they say that my blood sugar is really high or has dropped really low and apparently it shows on my face before I can actually feel the effects of it yet. When that happens I am grateful because I don't want to pass out in public.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Oct 10
hi fellow diabetic gdesjardin I am also in the same state, either too high or a bit too low and it must show on our faces . Also I too had really low blood sugar right at lunch time so just took some table sugar and put it i n a little water and drank it. It went down further and the next thing I knew I was hearing like from a distance, oh she fainted, get the nurse, get orange juice. I literally had my face down on the table.For the first time in my whole life I had really fainted but just sagged over onto the table. three different people gave me orange juice. by the time lunch was over I had gone to my room and found I was now too high.So I guess I have given them r eason to be concerned but not to question me when I say I am okay as I never lie about my health.
1 person likes this
@cyrus123 (6363)
• United States
5 Oct 10
I don't think I have ever had anybody ask me if I was sure if I told them I was fine. I'm sure it would irk me, too, if they did. I'm all the time asking people how they are after I speak to them. If they are the first to ask me how I am, I'll say "Fine. How are you?" That's just what I was taught to do. I also feel like if you tell them you are fine, it's better than going on about your aches and pains. Some people just don't like to hear about your problems.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Oct 10
hi cyrus I also feel that most people do not want to stand a nd listen to me tell them about my arthritis in my knees or my high blood pressure or my diabetes as I am sure they have plenty of their own problems to d eal with. I always say I am okay or I am fine yet so many times I get that are you sure? I guess its my age and my quad cane. I use that simply because I have a sense of balance problem and do not want ever again to have a bad fall and break another shoulder bone. once was too much; I have an artificial shoulder joint.
1 person likes this
@ybong007 (6643)
• Philippines
5 Oct 10
Hi Hatley how are you? Everytime i see your discussion, you always remind me of my mother. I don't know if you still recall about a discussion about mothers but to cut the story short, i said i should call her but it didn't happen right after. I met her at the airport yesterday and saw her after seven long years. I really want to cry ( i really missed her a lot), but you know boys don't cry (especially a 35 year old one)and at the airport too , there had been major changes as far as physical appearance is concernced, she'd lost a few teeth (she said she don't want putting those dentures on, a few more wrinkles... Maybe i look older too as far as she is concerned, her youngest and only son. She will only stay until sunday since she'll go back to the province so i hope i can spend more time with her since god knows when will i'll see her again. Now i'm starting to cry .
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Oct 10
hi ybong so you too are anemic. I found out from a kidney specialist when I was sent to him because my kidney test showed abnormal. when I quit taking the ibuprofin my doctor prescribed for my arthritis pain'the tests became normal again but the specialist told me I was anemic so was put on iron which I take everyday now. Now ybong do not forget to 'eat, okay? lol.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
5 Oct 10
hi ybong its okay for guys to cry, really it is. when we lost our little girl my husband cried even more than I did. just was such a shock but to move on I am so glad you got to see your mom and have some time yet to spend with her, perhaps you will be able to find a way to see her again soon.no our grown sons always still look like our boys to us. My son was here yesterday and spent a long time with me, and at fifty one he still makes those car running sounds he made as a kid. you just cannogt take the boy out of the man when hes around his mom;lol. so do not feel bad that you cry, you are only human.I re member you telling me I reminded you of your mom. I really am okay and feeling great just pale because I have anemia but I take iron for it every day to stay in normal range. have fun with your mom and rest assured you still look young to your mom.lol lol lol.
1 person likes this
@ybong007 (6643)
• Philippines
5 Oct 10
Why is it that whenever i have this kind of discussion it seems as if my heart goes heavy . Now i have to take a pause as my tears are getting hard to control, it may fall any minute now but i have to refrain myself otherwise my colleagues would think there's something wrong with me. You're right, i will always be that little boy who used to sit in her lap and cuddle at her armpit before i fall to sleep. I still racall all the songs she used to sing when she puts me to bed, my friends even wonder why i memorize a lot of elvis's song, the beegees, nat king cole, frank sinatna all those oldies when we had those karaoke nights. I must have memorize some lines of their songs from hearing about it everyday when i was a kid. And you know what? i'm taking iron supplements too since it was found out during my recent checkup the i'm anemic, probably caused by spending too much time with mylot during lunchtime .
2 people like this