Observations From A Hospital Waiting Room.
By Jabo
@jaboUK (64346)
United Kingdom
January 7, 2016 5:28pm CST
We arrive early for my husband's hospital appointment, and make our way to the Oncology department.
The waiting room is quite crowded - an awful lot of people have cancer in one form or another. Sitting opposite us are two women, one elderly, the other middle aged. Mother and daughter? The younger one looks as if she has been crying, and the older one is trying to comfort her.
A name is called and they both get up, hug, then the older one goes in for treatment. It just shows that illness can sometimes be harder for the family than the patient.
Over in the corner a young girl is fiddling with her phone - she has no hair, poor girl. Sitting near her is a youngish man in a very smart business suit, reading a magazine, and when he turns his head I'm surprised to see that his hair is in a pony-tail. I wonder if he's here for himself, or if he's waiting for someone.
An old man in a wheelchair is pushed in, and his companion (carer? relative? friend?) checks him in at Reception, then goes off and leaves him.
My husband's name is called and he goes off for his treatment. He had an operation to remove skin cancer from his face last summer, but they didn't manage to get it all out, so he has to have a course of radiotherapy.
As I'm not allowed to go into the treatment room with him, I go to get myself some water from the dispenser. I ask a middle aged gentleman sitting near if he'd like some too, and he says yes. We start chatting and it seems he was here a lot last year with his cancer-stricken wife. She died a few months ago and now he has cancer too.
My husband's treatment doesn't take long so we are soon on our way out. The wheelchair-bound old man is still sitting there alone - I wonder what his story is.
We will have to come back eight more times before the treatment is completed, so we have to do this again tomorrow and all next week.
Do you people-watch in public places like this?
60 people like this
60 responses
@LadyDuck (502812)
• Italy
8 Jan 16
My husband goes every week to the hospital for physiotherapy and for a treatment to cure his headaches. I always go with him and wait in the waiting room observing people. Most of the time I start to chat with others, everyone has a story to share. I always feel lucky to be healthy when I come back home.
8 people like this
@jaboUK (64346)
• United Kingdom
8 Jan 16
@LadyDuck - I knew your husband has health issues too Anna, but luckily both you and I are healthy so we can look after our men.
I think I shall be rather fed up with waiting rooms by the time we've finished, even though it's interesting to observe other people.
7 people like this
@crazyhorseladycx (39503)
• United States
8 Jan 16
bless y'alls hearts 'n all the souls who're dealin' with such. i know when my dad was havin' treatments i visited with all the folks in the waitin' room. each'd their story to tell, but all remained most positive. by the time he'd the next cancer show up 'n he had to go back fer more, 'twas truly heavy'n my heart to see the same folks there...2 years later.
i keep that sweet hubs'f yers close to my heart 'n send healin' thoughts he way. big hugs to ya both!
4 people like this
@jaboUK (64346)
• United Kingdom
8 Jan 16
@crazyhorseladycx Oh my, - the same people 2 years later! I sincerely hope we never have to back after this bout of treatments. We're lucky as skin cancer is more easily treatable than most other sorts.
Thanks for the hugs, we both appreciate them
4 people like this
@crazyhorseladycx (39503)
• United States
9 Jan 16
@jaboUK yes ma'am, sadly there were others who'd had it come back to haunt 'em. yepperz, skin cancer's more treatable 'n i sure keep ya both in my heart!
2 people like this
@PainsOnSlate (21845)
• Canada
8 Jan 16
To tell you the truth I avoid hospitals but I felt the hope, fear, and unknown in your post. I hope your husbands problems are take care of quickly and for good. There is just something sad and heavy that I feel when in a hospital. Don't know why and i hope I never find out...
7 people like this
@jaboUK (64346)
• United Kingdom
8 Jan 16
@PainsOnSlate Thanks for the healing thoughts 
.
I'm lucky in that I've only needed a hospital to give birth, and last year to have my hip replaced. You had your knee replaced didn'rt you?
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I'm lucky in that I've only needed a hospital to give birth, and last year to have my hip replaced. You had your knee replaced didn'rt you?3 people like this
@jaboUK (64346)
• United Kingdom
8 Jan 16
@PainsOnSlate I don't think anyone likes hospitals, but where would we be without them? If you need them, you need them.
I am honestly more hopeful than fearful, but he is 85 so I hope he withstands the treatment ok. We had the choice of them going digging around in his face again, or the radiotherapy.
Though it means we have to go to the hospital for 9 consecutive days (Leaving out Sat and Sun), the treatment itself only lasts 5 minutes, and it causes no pain.
Thanks for your concern Marilyn, I appreciate it.
5 people like this
@PainsOnSlate (21845)
• Canada
8 Jan 16
@jaboUK I will be sending healing thoughts. His treatment sounds short and sweet and as an out patient is super. You are right, what would we do without hospitals.. In my life iVe not had a lot of experience but as I age I'm sure I will be getting to know that up close and personal.
4 people like this
@JudyEv (382555)
• Rockingham, Australia
8 Jan 16
It would be interesting to know the stories behind people we watch wouldn't it? Some of the people in Mum's aged care facility had such interesting lives - one had been a ballet-dancer, another was a doctor and one had done a lot to advance the quality of Merino sheep.
4 people like this
@andriaperry (118793)
• Anniston, Alabama
7 Jan 16
Yes I do and I noticed at the heart doctor more and more younger people, for their pwn treatment. Dealing with cancer is very hard. Tony had skin cancer and always will, he has to treat it and wait till the next three months to get another treatment.
5 people like this
@jaboUK (64346)
• United Kingdom
7 Jan 16
@andriaperry My husband's skin cancer doesn't cause him any pain or discomfort, so that's a good thing. Why will Tony always have it? I'm hoping this treatment get's rid of my husband's.
3 people like this
@jaboUK (64346)
• United Kingdom
7 Jan 16
@andriaperry Oh dear, that sounds a lot worse than my husband. He only has a smallish patch under his eye.
3 people like this
@andriaperry (118793)
• Anniston, Alabama
7 Jan 16
@jaboUK his skin is covered in pre-cancers and for them to get it all they would absolutely have to skin him. He is on the chemo cream and he can apply it to as many as he wants each time. He has had numerous surgeries and he carries around some really bad scars, although he had a plastic surgeon the last couple of times for his nose ( 4 operations to remove invasive cancer) his nose is totally different and he is self conscious of that scar, its not bad and better than cancer in my book.
6 people like this
@Juliaacv (56396)
• Canada
8 Jan 16
When I go for my cancer-recheck every fall the waiting room resembles what you describe, but on a much smaller scale. I usually have a very early morning appointment and most patients either haven't arrived as of yet or are in their individual treatment areas.
As much as we all differ, in age, in looks, in how we walk or wheel into the room, we all have the same relationship with a terrible disease, and I think that we all know the same fear that the word conjures up. I hope that your hubby does well with this round of treatment, and I know that those who have to be there must find you a comfort.
3 people like this
@jaboUK (64346)
• United Kingdom
8 Jan 16
@Juliaacv I don't know about being a comfort to anyone other than my husband. I only spoke to that one man, or listened - but perhaps that did help, who knows.
I can imagine the trepidation with which you face your check-ups, and the relief you must feel when you get the all clear.
Thanks for your good wishes - we are a lot better off than someone with any internal form of cancer.
2 people like this
@Tampa_girl7 (54739)
• United States
8 Jan 16
Yes, I am most definitely a people watcher.
3 people like this
@jaboUK (64346)
• United Kingdom
8 Jan 16
@Tampa_Girl7 It passes the time, doesn't it?
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (174707)
• United States
12 Jan 16
I do hope your hubby comes through the treatments alright, Dearheart! I had heard you mention on Bubbs that he had melanoma, but wasn't sure what to say at the time. Believe it or not, I am again at a true loss for words.
I suppose I should be grateful I never had any cancer on my face. Mine was all in places that are hidden by my clothes.
No, I don't people watch in the waiting room. I feel like that is an intrusion of their personal space when they have already lost enough to the disease(s) and some to the doctor's scalpel, as well. (I am speaking only for myself, Janet, not condemning anyone for people watching. I am just saying that is how I feel about it in those circumstances.)
I don't feel like it is an intrusion, say at the Mall, or the grocery store. I do watch people in those types of places. I am usually curious about where they come from and a bit of their life story. Occasionally, I will approach a lone man (Never a woman. I am always afraid I would scare them.) and talk to him to see whether my musings were even close to the reality. (Once in a while, I do get it right.)
I suppose I should be grateful I never had any cancer on my face. Mine was all in places that are hidden by my clothes.
No, I don't people watch in the waiting room. I feel like that is an intrusion of their personal space when they have already lost enough to the disease(s) and some to the doctor's scalpel, as well. (I am speaking only for myself, Janet, not condemning anyone for people watching. I am just saying that is how I feel about it in those circumstances.)
I don't feel like it is an intrusion, say at the Mall, or the grocery store. I do watch people in those types of places. I am usually curious about where they come from and a bit of their life story. Occasionally, I will approach a lone man (Never a woman. I am always afraid I would scare them.) and talk to him to see whether my musings were even close to the reality. (Once in a while, I do get it right.)2 people like this
@DaddyEvil (174707)
• United States
13 Jan 16
@jaboUK I was confident you wouldn't do anything to upset anyone, Janet! I also wanted to explain how/why I do things the way I do without appearing to be saying "shame on you" for anything, too...
Yeah, you definitely have the advantage over me in approaching someone to talk to. I think my size and build will still cause concern to women when I reach 53 just like you! 
2 people like this
@Morleyhunt (21741)
• Canada
8 Jan 16
I remember the hours I sat in the oncology department with my mother in law after she had a lumpectomy.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64346)
• United Kingdom
8 Jan 16
@Morleyhunt The oncology dept isn't exactly a fun place to be, is it? Fortunately my husband's actual treatment only takes 5 minutes, it's the waiting that takes the time.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64346)
• United Kingdom
8 Jan 16
@Morleyhunt Why not? I think the content at Bubblews no longer exists, so there's no reason why you can't use it.
2 people like this
@Morleyhunt (21741)
• Canada
8 Jan 16
@jaboUK we would need to allow an entire afternoon for a five minute appointment. Way back when I was a newbie on Bubblews I did a post about it....hmm, maybe I could recreate the post.
2 people like this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
8 Jan 16
when i am waiting for the result of my laboratory exams and I don't play with my phone,I also watch other people and make my own observations.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64346)
• United Kingdom
8 Jan 16
@ridingbet Observing people helps to pass the time, doesn't it?
We were very lucky today - we got there 20 minutes early and they took him in straight away. We were out of there before the original appointment time. So I didn't get much time looking at other people today.
. So I didn't get much time looking at other people today.2 people like this
@jaboUK (64346)
• United Kingdom
8 Jan 16
@ridingbet Oh my goodness, that certainly is inappropriate behaviour in church.
2 people like this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
8 Jan 16
@jaboUK it is not good at all, but I also watch church-goers. I smile when i see some who dress inappropriately and they are in church. Some play their phones while the mass is ongoing; worse is when I saw 2 men chewing gums, and removed the gums to receive Holy Communion.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64346)
• United Kingdom
8 Jan 16
@AnneEJ All cancers give cause for concern, but my husband's isn't life threatening - not at this stage anyway. We hope that this treatment will be the finish of it.
Yes, those of us that are healthy should be thankful - seeing that young girl with no hair made me feel so sorry for her, as she is so young.
@Mike197602 (15504)
• United Kingdom
8 Jan 16
I worked in a&e for a while and that's a good place to people watch.
Hope your husbands treatment goes well.
4 people like this
@jaboUK (64346)
• United Kingdom
8 Jan 16
@Mike197602 Did you really? I bet that was interesting, but it must have also been harrowing at times.
@zebra2222 (5268)
• United States
9 Jan 16
I had to deal with skin cancer on my ear and back. Fortunately, all is well with that. Hopefully, all will go well with your husband.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64346)
• United Kingdom
9 Jan 16
@zebra2222 So you know what it's like Steve - did you have to have radiotherapy? I'm glad that all is well with you, I hope for the same result with my husband. He only has a small patch on his cheek.
1 person likes this
@simone10 (54180)
• Louisville, Kentucky
8 Jan 16
I enjoy people watching but I'm sure it's a little different where you are. I would also be wondering about the people, what kind of lives they have had, what kind of cancer and for the ones alone, I would wonder where there family is. In other words, I would be curious about the story and I'm sure there would be some really interesting and heartbreaking ones.
2 people like this
@Marilynda1225 (91169)
• United States
9 Jan 16
I love to people watch. Sitting there waiting for your husband certainly gave you insight to how many people are going through cancer treatments. I would love to wake up one day and hear that they found a cure for cancer
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64346)
• United Kingdom
9 Jan 16
@Marilynda1225 Wouldn't that be great if they did find a cure? In the meantime we must be grateful for things like radiotherapy and chemotherapy.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
16 Jan 16
First of all, best of luck for your husband completing all the treatment he needs!
I HATE hospitals so much. The last time I went wasn't so bad because I didn't see any patients. The time before that, again wasn't so bad but the third last time I went was horrible! I've started getting teary eyed just from thinking about it.
Because my dad, nan and I went to visit my Uncle Danny. He was in hospital because he had acute leukaemia. We visited the part of the hospital called palliative care. At that time I actually didn't know what that meant but once I asked my dad and he told me, I don't know how to describe how I felt. Like it hit me that my Uncle was going to die. This was about 1 week in when we found out he was sick.
So while we were sitting out in the waiting room, I was watching a lot of children and adults going by who were obviously sick and it was heart breaking. Even if I wasn't dealing with a sick family member I still would have felt heart broken because it was just all very sad. The sick people I saw were lifeless, frail....and just like they had enough. Do you know what I mean? Like....ah I don't want to sound morbid. :( Just looked like they wanted it all to stop.
I don't like hospitals. Never have. Never will.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64346)
• United Kingdom
16 Jan 16
@VivaLaDani13 But just think how much worse your uncle's last days would have been if he hadn't had access to that palliative care in the hospital.
None of us like hospitals, but we'd be a lot worse off without them.
Actually when I was watching people there, (there were no children), the atmosphere was more one of hope. Sorry you had such a bad experience.
2 people like this
