Would you let people know if you were dying?

OMG! This is so-o-o weird. I was just thinking about this earlier today. I thought I would write a short note for the hubster to type in the event of my demise. Just so the few "close friends" I have found on here wouldn't feel abandoned.

Yes, I would tell them. Yes, it is very personal. You will find that someone might KEEP forcing pity on you. You have to find a way to make them stop. Even if that means stop being their friend, stop accepting messages from them, stop talking to them at all. You have the right to stop being their friend when that happens. If you have something that is causing you to contemplate your own mortality, then it IS your friend's business to know that. I know some people don't think online friends are "real" friends, but they are... or can be. IF you let them. Hiding a life-threatening illness is extremely cruel to those who care about you. Would you hide it from a friend in the real world? Online is just as much the real world as offline can be. Was suggesting this to me really necessary?

I hope that is not the case with you JJ. I wonder why you would write something like this. I have friends on here that email me that I know are dying. It is not publicly known however, so it is obvious they have chosen not to broadcast it on here or any other social media. I am not sure what I would do if I were dying.

That is a classy approach to it. I don't know how I would handle such a situation. I would probably tell a few people privately and would probably distance myself somewhat with my online friendships, but again, its hard to say when you aren't in that situation.

I've thought about this too, and feel the same as you. I certainly wouldn't want the pity. I'd even keep it from family members until it was obvious that there was something wrong.

first I would not put this on face book.But I am sure that my kids would.

I probably wouldn't say that I was dying. I would tell my closest friends and of course my family.

I think I'd tell a few mylotters I know from way back in the beginning of the site, but wouldn't announce it for everyone to know. And when I was gone they could let everyone know if anyone asked. But don't die. I command you to live.

Me, I'd definitely tell "most" people I know. I think my family would like to know. And I think my friends would want to know - and for sure word would spread from there. I wouldn't want pity either, but that's not why I would do it . . . I just think it'd be fair to have people be mentally prepared that I won't be around someday soon - perhaps for the sake of my kids who wouldn't be ready for it. Heck, I'd have to prepare for it myself. I just want everyone to have "closure". I wouldn't on Facebook though. That's too public. But myLot? I might think about it. I know there are some people who have left us here - some of it is a mystery and some are wondering what ever happened to so and so. I think I'd want to be fair and tell my friends what's going on while I can - but I wouldn't want to drone on and on about it. It'd be more about it was a pleasure knowing you all. And it truly is/was. We all think about this stuff - and we might change our minds when the time really comes. In any case, I hope things are ok with you

Hey look, I'm dying and no I'm not telling anyone .... oh wait, isn't everyone dying? Aren't we all dying from the moment we're born? Some will sooner some later, but we're all dying ... now as for a MD telling me I only have a short time to live then no I wouldn't tell anyone nor would I undergo things like chemotherapy. To me, telling family that I only have x number of hours, days, weeks or whatever to live only makes their lives miserable and I wouldn't want to do that to them. And then there is the online sites, I suppose I would probably write somewhere anonymously just to get it off my chest but certainly not here where I've made friends, it would be too cruel.

At first I was going to say that I might tell someone within the mylot community that I was dying but then I thought that they may (good naturedly) post something about it here against my wishes and I wouldn't want that. As for facebook, I can't see me posting it on there either but I have family who would post about it, again good naturedly and against my wishes. I think that I would want to think as little about it as possible so keeping mum about it would be what I'd ultimately choose to do.

I think your idea is probably best.

I don't think anybody can know what they would do until it stops being theoretical and becomes a real issue. Personally, I suspect I would tell everybody, just as I did 5.5 years ago when I got cancer. I've just finished editing a friend's book about the last year of her mother's life which focuses a lot on the strength she got from sharing her experience with others and the inspiration she gave to others, not all of whom she even knew. We're all different and each should do what works for them. There is no guide book to how to die - with or without social media.

it depends. but for now, i think for me, i will. so that my friends and old friends will be informed. I want to know also there insights about that announcement. I want to reminisce the moments we had by reading or hearing their last words for me.

So, are you telling us something? Seriously, I remember those we have lost, and feel better about the ones that I realized had a serious illness. Not that they were dying, but that there was a potential of loss. If we are honest though, in all our relationships there is a potential for loss and we should treat people like they are important to us, all the time. Dying should not be any different than living.

i wouldn't even let family know except maybe my kids. i would like to think i would be missed here or that people here would "like to know" why i suddenly disappeared, so i would do the same as you.

No. It's a personal thing and too many use it to get sympathy not to mention the ones who have scammed people by saying they are dying.

Very good question. I would obviously tell my close friends and family members the situation. As far as my online community, probably not. I wouldn't want the sympathy tears and I feel they would be somewhat fake, like they only care about me NOW that I am no longer going to be a part of this world. I know I would be scared, but having the people around me that actually matter to me is the most important. It's not for everyone to know.

I think your idea is a very sensible one. I do hope neither you nor I have to come up with such a post anytime soon.

I have already written a post and put in an envelope with the login information, so that my friends will know the day that I will not be anymore among the living. The only person I would tell before is my husband, he has the right to know. I want that my friends will treat me as usual and I know that it would not be the same if they knew.