How do you deal with MyLot members who never visit your posts, no matter how often you visit theirs?
By The Horse
@TheHorse (207500)
Walnut Creek, California
August 9, 2016 12:17am CST
I remember experiencing the same thing at "the site that will not be named." Some people wrote many posts, received lots of comments, and never commented on the comments they received. Nor did they reciprocate and visit the posts of (many of) those who commented on their posts. I wrote them off as "gamers" of the site, and eventually stopped visiting their posts.
Here, it seems that gaming the system is more difficult, as interaction is king, and you make more (and have more fun) if you get involved in on-going conversations, whether they be on your posts or someone else's.
But I still notice that there are some MyLotters who never visit my posts, no matter how often I visit, and comment on, theirs. I'm torn between writing it off as coincidence and wondering what it is that they don't like about my posts. I'm also torn between treating them like anyone else and resisting the temptation to read their stuff.
I also hope I'm not "that guy" to any MyLotters. It's entirely possible that I've "neglected" some people who do read my posts.
Do you tend to favor the posts of those who read your posts? Do you react in any way when certain MyLotters stay away from your posts? I'm just curious.
67 people like this
77 responses
@LadyDuck (460371)
• Switzerland
9 Aug 16
I remember those who wrote plenty of posts on the non named sites and did not care to visit the others. Here there are several who do not visit, but at least they reply to your comments. I am making a list of "bad users", because I can accept that some do not visit my posts, but I do not accept that they do not even take the time to reply to the comments. Those are out forever.
13 people like this
@Genipher (5405)
• United States
9 Aug 16
Those are the ones that bother me. When you can clearly see that the Discussion Starter isn't bothering to reply to anyone.
No. I'm not going to help someone earn half a penny when I can plainly see they aren't interacting.
At least the people that come back and say, "Thanks for your input" are trying.
9 people like this
@sol_cee (38222)
• Philippines
9 Aug 16
@hereandthere And I'm not even wearing glasses. lol
8 people like this
@crazyhorseladycx (39515)
• United States
9 Aug 16
i reckon i ought to start payin' mind to those!3 people like this
@jaboUK (64361)
• United Kingdom
9 Aug 16
This site is a two-way thing, and if I get nothing back from someone I've made a few visits to, then I'm afraid they go on the 'ignore' list. I don't necessarily need them to respond to my posts, but if they don't bother to reply to my comments either they obviously don't find me interesting, so I don't bother with them any more.
8 people like this
@WorDazza (15830)
• Manchester, England
9 Aug 16
To some extent I think we are all "that guy" to someone on here. For me it's an issue of time. I tend to concentrate on responding to people who have commented on my posts then read some of the more recent posts of people I'm following before moving on to some of the recent posts of others in the hope of finding some previously unearthed gems. Consequently I probably inadvertently give priority to people who are around at similar times to me.
8 people like this
@WorDazza (15830)
• Manchester, England
9 Aug 16
@TheHorse I always respond to comments on my posts. I give that priority. What I can't guarantee is that I will get around to viewing the posts of everyone who comments. Quite often I will notice that I haven't viewed posts from someone for a while and make a point of popping over to see what they've been up to. But it's all (quite limited) time dependent.
4 people like this
@Mike197602 (15487)
• United Kingdom
9 Aug 16
To be honest it doesn't bother me in the slightest if I respond to someones discussions a lot and they never respond to mine.
I just respond to what I like no matter who has written it and don't bother with the response for a response thing.
If the person never comments back to me I eventually don't bother going on their discussions.
8 people like this
@teamfreak16 (43419)
• Denver, Colorado
9 Aug 16
As much music that I post, I expect it. I figure that at least I'm not posting the same exact post all day like some do, getting massive likes for doing so. Those are the ones I've stopped reading.
6 people like this
@hereandthere (45651)
• Philippines
9 Aug 16
if there's one thing that stands out about you is you're consistent and true to yourself. you do as you please here, regardless of outcome, and don't "complain" about it.
6 people like this
@TheHorse (207500)
• Walnut Creek, California
9 Aug 16
I enjoy your and @FourWalls's music posts, though my response is often, "Yikes, I haven't heard of them," or something like that.
5 people like this
@teamfreak16 (43419)
• Denver, Colorado
9 Aug 16
@hereandthere - Much appreciated.
2 people like this
@toniganzon (72279)
• Philippines
9 Aug 16
Hi! I only respond to those whose discussion I could really relate to or to those people who haven't blocked me. I don't check whether they have responded to my discussions or not since I hardly make my own. I do try to post my own discussion once a week or even sometimes it's just twice a month.
I guess I just don't care much if they visit mine or not and I don't take it against them if they don't.
4 people like this
@toniganzon (72279)
• Philippines
9 Aug 16
@Genipher I could identify only one. I have blocked three or four.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
9 Aug 16
I honestly don't do the "like for like" thing. If I enjoy a post I will respond to it and I would hope others do the same thing. I cannot possibly respond to things I really don't enjoy reading-even if that person responded to my discussion.
5 people like this
@Bluedoll (16774)
• Canada
9 Aug 16
Good observation but I think it is really difficult to know who is ignoring, being selfish or just off in la la land? The only question I ask myself is does it really matter? Like you wrote its about interaction and doesn't make a huge difference where it takes place? Or maybe it does. I'm not sure.
3 people like this
@Genipher (5405)
• United States
9 Aug 16
@FourWalls
You must've visited before! The mountains are made of caramel popcorn! 
3 people like this
@AbbyGreenhill (45496)
• United States
9 Aug 16
In my humble opinion there are several possibilities why people don't comment on the posts of others:
They don't like what people write about.
They don't have time so they pick and choose who they comment on.
They didn't get to all the notifications.
They just don't care....that's probably the real reason.
There are posts that I have no interest in reading or commenting on. I imagine we all do to some extent. Also, if someone posts one after another after another all day I top at the first one.
4 people like this
@AbbyGreenhill (45496)
• United States
9 Aug 16
@TheHorse It's also a waste of their time - if they pay attention they only get a few likes/comments on each.
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (50525)
• Centralia, Missouri
9 Aug 16
let me say it this way, I respond to comments, but I have a bad memory, I may not even notice someone who stops by a ton, like respond sure, but realize this person should be supported? Maybe and maybe not.
3 people like this
@Jessicalynnt (50525)
• Centralia, Missouri
10 Aug 16
@TheHorse I do that sometimes, and sometimes I realize I keep seeing a name and follow them back to see if they are active enough. I still dont know for sure if I'd notice everyone like I should.
2 people like this
@JESSY3236 (19057)
• United States
9 Aug 16
I only comment when I have something to say because I don't want to leave spammy comments.
3 people like this
@Daljinder (23233)
• Bangalore, India
9 Aug 16
I don't mind as long as I get the reply back. I actually like to participate in conversations on other myLot member's posts rather my own. As you said, "interaction is king whether they be on your posts or someone else's." So, it doesn't matter really.
And about the people that visit my posts, I do admit that I can't / don't visit all of them because it is kind of difficult to keep track of all of them. But I do make sure to reply back to them. Each one of them. Though I think I cover most of them when I visit the "Follows" and "Most Recent Discussions" sections. So it kind of evens out.
5 people like this
@vandana7 (99109)
• India
11 Aug 16
Honestly, I was smart enough to realize that on the serious posts that I come up with, sometimes the comments and responses are just rephrased stuff...groan...it feels terrible to be doing that...like homework...lol. I too like being on others posts more than on mine. But as Katerina mentioned...it might be unfair...since everybody may find it boring to keep on answering seriously...
1 person likes this
@rina110383 (24495)
•
9 Aug 16
I have zero discussion. What I do is only to respond to other's discussion. I don't mind if my responses are ignored ( no likes or no comments). Not a big deal for me.
5 people like this
@allknowing (130292)
• India
9 Aug 16
I have accepted this and take things in my stride. Sometimes it is possible I too may not respond to those who respond to my posts.
3 people like this
@rebelann (111423)
• El Paso, Texas
10 Aug 16
As you mentioned interacting is key and no I don't worry about who hasn't visited my discussions. Sometimes people aren't interested in my furbabies but I do interact if I read something interesting which isn't always about what the discussion originated about.
That's the beauty of threads.
2 people like this
@rebelann (111423)
• El Paso, Texas
10 Aug 16
See @TheHorse that's how it should be. We just need to remember this is not a writing site, it's a discussion site so regardless of what you write in the discussion you're creating it's the responses and the comments on them that make this site work.
2 people like this
@Vjvals (906)
• Roseville, California
9 Aug 16
If I comment on their posts and they respond that's fine or good enough. Those who do not respond at all after a couple of times I drop them. Yes, I do favor those who will visit my posts but I do not think they should always do that just because I went on theirs because I just go to those where I have something to say instead of giving a 'generic' comment.
3 people like this
@CinnamonGrl (7083)
• Santa Fe, New Mexico
9 Aug 16
Having only just come back in the last few days, I haven't noticed any patterns yet. I kinda remember from years ago when myLot first started, that there were people whose posts I always participated in, but who didn't seem to come to mine, Seems like I gradually just drifted away from them entirely. It's more fun if there's genuine interaction and interest in each other.
3 people like this
@nanette64 (20364)
• Fairfield, Texas
9 Aug 16
I do have some 'favorite' folks (you included) that I always try to read and comment upon @TheHorse . Then I go to the 'others' and depending on the title and info, I may or may not read or comment. I know, I'm bad.
2 people like this
@DaddyEvil (137142)
• United States
10 Aug 16
That is not bad, Nanette! That is called doing what you can when you can! It is a good way to be, in my honest opinion...
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (137142)
• United States
13 Aug 16
@nanette64 Yeah, like I am sometimes! LOL!
And I still don't make it to everyone's posts when I am here that long!
1 person likes this
@nanette64 (20364)
• Fairfield, Texas
10 Aug 16
@DaddyEvil Otherwise, I'd be on this site 24 hours a day.
1 person likes this
@JohnRoberts (109857)
• Los Angeles, California
9 Aug 16
You may be consistently interested in a person's post subject matter but they aren't consistently interested in your post content thus they don't comment. You can't take it personal. For example, people may be interested in my movie reviews but I have nothing to say in return over their personal posts for whatever reason. You can always read them and not comment. The danger of a prid pro quo system are comments being made no matter what the post is because they are your "friend" and you feel obligated and underpressure to reciprocate. That leads to weak comments that don't really say anything at all.
3 people like this
@JohnRoberts (109857)
• Los Angeles, California
10 Aug 16
@TheHorse I have to disagree. You can't always find a thread of common interest to make a comment. As a guy, what am I suppose to comment about a woman's review of a feminine product? That's sound like an exaggeration but I have seen similar posts in the past.
