"We're staying together so we can screw up the kids just as bad as we are"

You are right, this is a stupid thing to do. Kids feel when something is not right and to "stay together for the kids" is something wrong to do. Split and give the kid the possibility to leave in a place where they do not assist to arguments every day.

Equal in dumbness to the old "Our relationship is a bit rocky so we're having a baby to strengthen it". Yeah, right! One thing guaranteed to rip you apart is a bringing a baby into a relationship.

I wish my dad would understand this. Instead he wants to force his son into a toxic relationship that will end up hurting all of us simply because there is a kid involved. They can barely afford Ms gold digger as it is. How much worse if they actually get married. And the bad thing is my brother seems ready to give in.

My dad always said he and my mom didn't love each other - but it was a marriage of convenience . . . one provides, the other takes care of the house and kids. "Love" shouldn't be the basis of a marriage, he always said. And that's sad - I think my mom was hurt when he said stuff like that, but she never said anything. My parents would fight . . . my dad had the temper, and my mom would end up crying a lot . . . I hated hearing it. And I didn't like the "staying together for you guys" bit . . . I almost felt like the blame for times they were miserably together. Anyway, I grew up thinking I sure didn't want that kind of marriage/family life for myself . . . Hubby, the kids, and I have a healthier family environment - way more.

I have always believed that kids are better off in a home with one parent who loves them than with two parents who hate each other.

what I find strange is that when people mention these issues, among a lot of other contradictions, nobody says anything to them about the pot and the kettle. I did once but have given up as it never seems to sink in

I think that people say that,because they think others will think higher of them for "sacrificing" their happiness for the sake of the children. The children, in most cases, are better off with the parents splitting. My ex and I have a great relationship, our children are well adjusted. We always made better friends than husband and wife.

I have read that staying together for the sake of the children damages them more than a divorce (or a split, if there isn't a marriage involved).

It is not like that bro...single parents find it difficult to take care of the child. There are many obligations that accumulate which lead to a level of discomfort. Like my pa...when neighbors helped, it felt like an obligation. Then he put me in boarding school and hostel...pretty lonely thing at first...over a period, we accept it, and then adjusting back to a family life becomes all acting. Moreover, there are pedophiles who try to be ultra nice and parents don't believe that the person is bad.

Children learn in the environment in which they grew up, of course they will learn from their parents and teachers. If their parents are doing something improper, they will learn. For the sake of children such things cannot be justified.

yeah kids arent dumb, what you do for the kids is split and learn to be civil and never bash their other parent in front of them

You are absolutely correct @JolietJake ; nothing good comes out of it, period! It teaches kids all the 'wrong' things about relationships; both for the girls AND the boys.

I have a cousin like that. They stay together even if they fight oftent but NO OTHERS. Staying together while having boyfriends is insane.

I have always thought this way too. You're teaching your kids a bunch of wrongness. Also pretty much telling them that marriage is just a miserable union of two people. People are stupid.

People sure are weird. The poor kids have to go through hell because the parents are too lazy to do what is right.

What's the use of staying together for the sake of their children , when they see both of them always fighting and hearing accusations of cheating each other . Sad, but maybe the children would want them separated if they always fight each other .

People are weird. I didn't stay together. That wasn't great for the kids either.

I agree, teach them kids to run over whoever they get with and its okay as long as you got kids.

Nothing like kids growing up thinking this is normal behavior.

Staying together for the kids is the worse thing someone can do. I would rather have my kids have two separate homes that are filled with happiness and love than to live in one with their parents still together but it is full of hatred, lying, yelling, and fighting all the time.