Will this post be deleted?

@TheHorse (118287)
Walnut Creek, California
November 6, 2020 8:54pm CST
I know we're not allowed to post jokes here, as those are easily downloaded from the internet, like recipes. But are we allowed to post punchlines, and ask whether others can remember the joke? I've heard a lot of good jokes over the years, some kind of off-color, and some as innocent as a baby's smile. I'm going to post some punchlines, and see if the jokes I like are so obscure that nobody's heard them. If you have a punchline to a favorite joke, leave it in a comment, and let's see if some jokes are "universal." What follows are some punchlines. If you know the joke, let us know somehow. Disclaimer: Some of these jokes may be tasteless, politically incorrect, and (the horror) somewhat intellectual. Punchlines: *Bartender says, "What would you like tonight, Mr. President?" (think Trump) *To get to the other side. (think edible fowl) *Bob. (think body parts) *Finding half a worm. (think snack time) *She screams, especially when I walk in on her (think Rodney Dangerfield) *When you throw an accordion into a dumpster and it crushes two banjos (think baseball and musicians) *Bartender says, "For you, no charge." (think atoms) *Bartender says, "Are you sure?" Hydrogen atom says, "I'm positive!" (think atoms) *Bartender says, " Do you want a chaser with that?" " Rene says, "I think not." Poof. He disappears. (think famous philosophers) *"I’d love to, but you’ll have to remove that damn cat.” (think Johnny Carson comebacks that never actually occurred) *"He shot my paw!" (think "walks into a bar" jokes) *Chieftain says, "Ah, death. A noble choice. But first, chi chi!" (think missionary held captive) *"Oh, no no no! Mine says 'Welcome to Jamaica. And have a nice day!'" (think bathroom conversation) If you have some good punch lines, please post them!
14 people like this
14 responses
@1creekgirl (23217)
• United States
7 Nov
#2 Why did the chicken cross the road? Or as we say in the south: Why did the chicken cross the road? To show the possum it could be done. #4 What's worse than finding a worm in your salad? Or apple or?
4 people like this
@TheHorse (118287)
• Walnut Creek, California
7 Nov
That (#2) is brutal! And I had not heard it before.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (118287)
• Walnut Creek, California
7 Nov
We've had it happen with artichokes!
3 people like this
@DaddyEvil (30345)
• United States
8 Nov
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (312887)
• Switzerland
7 Nov
# 8 - Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, “I think I’ve lost an electron.” The other says, “Are you sure?” The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive…” I also know the one about the cat.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (118287)
• Walnut Creek, California
7 Nov
Most excellent! When I used to tell the "lost electron" joke at gigs, I was usually met with blank stares. No more!
4 people like this
@TheHorse (118287)
• Walnut Creek, California
7 Nov
I only learned yesterday that the Johnny Carson cat story was an "urban legend."
3 people like this
@LadyDuck (312887)
• Switzerland
7 Nov
3 people like this
@FourWalls (29351)
• Louisville, Kentucky
7 Nov
“$20, same as in town.”
3 people like this
@DaddyEvil (30345)
• United States
7 Nov
Uhm... are you talking about Bondi and Trump? *SMH!*
2 people like this
@TheHorse (118287)
• Walnut Creek, California
7 Nov
Ah, I hadn't heard that one! I'll start with "Eastern European walks into a Nevada pet store..."
2 people like this
@FourWalls (29351)
• Louisville, Kentucky
7 Nov
@TheHorse — yep.
2 people like this
@DocAndersen (30347)
• United States
7 Nov
My favorite is still why the long face the bartender asks. Wasn't deleted - lots of fuN!
3 people like this
@DaddyEvil (30345)
• United States
8 Nov
There are several "Why the long face?" jokes. I think my favorite is the one where the horse doesn't understand English, so poops on the floor and leaves.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (118287)
• Walnut Creek, California
8 Nov
Heh. I walk into a bar...I'd forgotten that one! I should add it to my post!
2 people like this
@TheHorse (118287)
• Walnut Creek, California
8 Nov
@DaddyEvil Oh, how does that one go? I don't think I know it!
3 people like this
@rebelann (78259)
• El Paso, Texas
7 Nov
Well, alls I kan say is I'z lost. Ain't heard these punchlines before.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (118287)
• Walnut Creek, California
7 Nov
Even "To get to the other side?" That's a classic kid joke. But I like @1creekgirl's version better!
2 people like this
@rebelann (78259)
• El Paso, Texas
7 Nov
Oh chucky darn, I done lied @TheHorse yep, I did know that one. I wish we could really tell good clean jokes on this site but hey, I get why they don't want us to.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (118287)
• Walnut Creek, California
8 Nov
@rebelann Yeah, they're too easy to pick off of the internet. We don't want MyLot to become another Bubblews.
2 people like this
@DianneN (205486)
• United States
7 Nov
I only know the chicken one. Too excited to think straight now. Biden won!!!!! It's official.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (118287)
• Walnut Creek, California
7 Nov
I saw that! I also heard that Trump gave an embarrassing "concession speech" last night. I'll have to look for that.
3 people like this
@DianneN (205486)
• United States
8 Nov
@TheHorse I don't believe he gave any concession speech, not will he ever.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (118287)
• Walnut Creek, California
8 Nov
@DianneN Ahem. I was being ironic.
2 people like this
@RasmaSandra (36976)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
7 Nov
That would be about my cat Sid and my own little joke. It goes likes this. Did you see the cat today? Yes, just a while ago he was running around like a madman with a few screw loose. What does a madman like that look like? He looks like the cat,
3 people like this
@TheHorse (118287)
• Walnut Creek, California
7 Nov
Guffaw.
3 people like this
@GardenGerty (128826)
• United States
21 Nov
How about "I am only here because I'm a typo." ? Think religious officiants.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (118287)
• Walnut Creek, California
24 Nov
Hmm.
1 person likes this
@Fleura (11635)
• United Kingdom
25 Nov
Something to do with a rabbit?
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (118287)
• Walnut Creek, California
25 Nov
@Fleura Heh. I am still thinking. You reminded of a decent punch line that I think I forgot to put in my post: "Ma'am ! Chickens???"
1 person likes this
@Fleura (11635)
• United Kingdom
21 Nov
Many years ago, when on holiday with a bunch of friends (traveling around northern France in a minibus I think) people tended to keep telling the same jokes and so we ended up with a set of half a dozen or so that were constantly repeated. Soon it got to the point where one person would say the first line of a joke and the rest of us would shout out some other random punchline, and then of course we'd all fall about laughing. For example 'Why did the chicken cross the road?' 'She went of her own accord!' You get the idea. Made us laugh anyway!
2 people like this
@Fleura (11635)
• United Kingdom
24 Nov
@TheHorse Good times eh?
2 people like this
@TheHorse (118287)
• Walnut Creek, California
24 Nov
@Fleura Yeppers. Now fond memories. Both my "hay boss" (the woman who ran the ranch) and my stacking mentor (her son) have passed on.
2 people like this
@JudyEv (228366)
• Bunbury, Australia
22 Nov
I heard the last of your punchlines just yesterday afternoon at a lunch. Very funny. lol
2 people like this
@TheHorse (118287)
• Walnut Creek, California
22 Nov
Welcome to Jamaica? I am glad that slightly off-colour (a nod to those who use too many letters) jokes are allowed there.
2 people like this
@LindaOHio (52237)
• United States
7 Nov
I definitely have heard #2 and #4.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (118287)
• Walnut Creek, California
7 Nov
Those are kid classics!
2 people like this
@DaddyEvil (30345)
• United States
7 Nov
You'll have to check your messages for my response, pony. *really grinning at you*
2 people like this
@TheHorse (118287)
• Walnut Creek, California
7 Nov
Oh Oh.
2 people like this
• India
7 Nov
Very nice
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (118287)
• Walnut Creek, California
7 Nov
???
2 people like this
@DaddyEvil (30345)
• United States
8 Nov
2 people like this
@TheHorse (118287)
• Walnut Creek, California
8 Nov
2 people like this
@Fleura (11635)
• United Kingdom
21 Nov
I'll add some punchlines - see if you know the jokes. 'I think he planted them too close together.' 'Awful' 'He lies awake at night wondering whether there is a dog' 'Because proper tea is theft' 'No, she went of her own accord'
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (118287)
• Walnut Creek, California
24 Nov
Hmm. One could be a dyslexic philosopher/rabbi/minister. Let me think about the others!
1 person likes this
@Fleura (11635)
• United Kingdom
24 Nov
@TheHorse Exactly, an insomniac dyslexic agnostic.