A public service announcement (joking) about IKEA

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The first thing to do as a partner avoiding IKEA projects is well to NOT GO TO IKEA. Projects appear there as if by magic or simply by pointing, so the first rule of avoiding those projects is truly just staying away. In my case, IKEA is 26 miles away by road. But luckily, living in DC< it is between 55 minutes to more than an hour and a half by car, reducing the risk of "let's run to IKEA." The following list is best practice recommendations for avoiding IKEA and IKEA projects. 1, Make sure your new home is more than an hour from the nearest IKEA. 2. Repair furniture correctly the first time. Duct tape will result in IKEA trips. 3. Embrace stacking – you don't need IKEA furniture if you stack things properly! 4. Remember that the siren's call of IKEA is those Swedish meatballs. Practice saying the following to your partner constantly! "I love Swedish meatballs, but they give me gas for three or four days afterward." Or, the variation of that which is "sweedish meatballs make me spend more time in the bathroom." Remember to mention this at least once a week until it is set! 5. Due to the nature of IKEA, you have to walk, make sure you have a leg or foot injury that is mentioned often! Walking is fun dear partner, but my leg is killing me! 6. Long-term play – this one has to be done a few times but is a guarantee to work once complete. Put things together wrong! Every single time you are asked, make sure it is not assembled correctly! 7. If these do not work, and you are forced to go to IKEA, the next recommendation is to move fast! Please do not stop, do not pass, go, do not collect 200 dollars (as IKEA gives you money, they are a money vacuum!) 8. Failing 1-7, there is one last-ditch excuse you can use! It is the insist on eating lunch before you walk the store. Then, begin to groan as the Swedish meatballs consume you. It is a desperate ploy and will only work one time!