Tears are not stopping today

@vandana7 (98106)
India
January 19, 2022 7:55am CST
I fought with my father yesterday and even this morning. He refused to take medication, and I actually felt like banging my head against the wall, hoping some blood comes out so that he feels sorry for me. I felt so unloved, unwanted and all those words when I asked him to take medicines if he loved me. He did not. I threatened to send him to mental hospital if he does not take medicines, hoping that will scare him. Nothing worked. Then I spoke to Homeopath Doctor. She said it is Parkinson's. He might at the most recover between 5 to 10 percent. He will become progressively intolerant and indifferent and incapable of doing much. You have to put up with it and be patient. Whoa...really? How long will he live, maximum 7 years, minimum three. She is so cut and dry. Has always been. You like them, and yet you wish they had some way not to be so honest. We don't have it in family madam. But he stopped taking medicines because of which his nerves have been damaged. But Madam CT Scan is not showing. True. But Neurologist has asked for MRI and prescribed medication for Parkinson's. Cannot deny that. And to tell you the truth, Cardiologist had diagnosed it to be Parkinson's almost a week ago. But I had brushed the thought aside. I wish I can take care of my parent ..well. When you pray for him, pray that I also have patience to understand his condition and am kind to him. Patience is not my best suit.
40 people like this
41 responses
@LadyDuck (450378)
• Switzerland
19 Jan 22
I am so sorry Vanny, I know he has never been nice, but right now he is so rude because the disease is affecting his brain. He will not be rude all the time, he will have some bad moments. Call his doctor and see if you can have a nurse coming to your home to give him medications.
10 people like this
@vandana7 (98106)
• India
20 Jan 22
You know Anna, symptoms are not like Parkinsons. Yet, the neurologist has prescribed. He must know better. I am depressed. I did see syndopa, and did think it has dopamine or livadopa. But I thought it may also be used to treat stroke related nerves problems. Especially because cardiologist as well as neurologist mentioned that he will recover in six to eight weeks.
3 people like this
@vandana7 (98106)
• India
21 Jan 22
@LadyDuck Dad has stiffness from right shoulder to right leg. He is able to move them, but cannot write. He also has speech issues. He had urinary incontinence and high frequency of urination from 6th to 9th. The onset is sudden which is not the case with Parkinsons - very rarely stroke can lead to Parkinsonism when the bleeding in brain is in the region of Parkinsons related cells. The walk is slow. He does not have the Parkinson's stoop. Walk is not exactly a shuffle...it is slow ..as if he is not confident that he cannot move his right leg or the leg cannot hold his weight. Standing up issues are there...but he is standing up on his own, without my help. The eyes are not glazed. Yes, he has memory issues. Today he did not know how to forward a message to me. But the other day, he helped a neighbor with his problem in operating bank account. He does have slight back ache..towards the right, but it may be because he fell in the loo. Vomiting sensation so he does not feel like eating. Just irritable. Ecosprin has helped to improve his walk. I do not know why he was given Trental earlier on. Today, there is just a tad improvement in his walking speed. I am crossing my fingers that this is lasting improvement. Since this is sudden I thought it has to be a stroke, and cardiologist though he suspected Parkinson's left it to neurologist's discretion to classify it and give medications accordingly. Till dad took ecosprin, he continued to suffer. He showed extreme resistance to take ecosprin, the post is because of that. Syndopa did not result in improvement. Ecosprin did. That is why I am still open to the idea that it is stroke not Parkinson's.
4 people like this
@LadyDuck (450378)
• Switzerland
21 Jan 22
@vandana7 Mom had a stroke, as her father had and also her brother. I know the symptoms and what you describe about your father is not stroke.
3 people like this
@just4him (299559)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
19 Jan 22
I am so sorry you are having a hard time with your father. I will pray for patience and love to come your way.
9 people like this
@vandana7 (98106)
• India
20 Jan 22
Thank you so much Valerie. He has taken some medication, but skipped a few. I guess it is tough to be taking so many medicines.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (98106)
• India
20 Jan 22
@thelme55 Thank you so much thelma. I can only hope he accepts to undergo MRI. I want to plan it for Saturday so that the reports are in my hand by Monday, and I can take him to neurologist once more. For now, he is resisting some of medication as well as going for tests.
2 people like this
@thelme55 (76159)
• Germany
19 Jan 22
I am sorry Vanny that you have to go through hardship with your father. I hope and pray that you will have more patience taking care of him.
5 people like this
@shaggin (71464)
• United States
19 Jan 22
So Parkinson’s makes them irritatable too? Very sad news. My mothers boyfriend has it. He falls a lot.
6 people like this
@shaggin (71464)
• United States
20 Jan 22
@vandana7 oh I see
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (98106)
• India
20 Jan 22
My father is basically like that because of high blood pressure, for which he avoids medication. Falling..has happened. Just once. He seems to be recovering for sometime and then again going back.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50975)
• Holiday, Florida
19 Jan 22
so sorry. I will pray for you both
7 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50975)
• Holiday, Florida
20 Jan 22
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (98106)
• India
20 Jan 22
Thank you so much for understanding and praying. I do need all prayers right now.
2 people like this
@DaddyEvil (137253)
• United States
19 Jan 22
You've shown me lots of patience... I know patience wears thin and I wish I could help you with him...
7 people like this
@vandana7 (98106)
• India
20 Jan 22
Come on DE..you are a great friend.
2 people like this
@DaddyEvil (137253)
• United States
20 Jan 22
@DeborahDiane You're welcome. I think she does know he can't help how he's acting. I've suggested several time that she should put him in a home but she won't do it. She says she's afraid the caretakers in the home will beat him for his behavior and she may well be right.
3 people like this
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Jan 22
@DaddyEvil - Thanks for telling me about this post. I know how hard this must be for Vanny. I hope she comes to realize that her father cannot help his behavior. This is hard for him, too.
3 people like this
@arunima25 (84744)
• Bangalore, India
19 Jan 22
My heart goes for you Vanny. I could feel my eyes getting moist when I read it. Take care. Keeping your dad in prayers. May Almighty give you all the strength and patience to deal with it
6 people like this
@vandana7 (98106)
• India
20 Jan 22
Arunima ..this is a tough phase. I really don't know how I will manage. He is unwilling to go for MRI and another test that neurologist has asked.
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (84744)
• Bangalore, India
26 Jan 22
@vandana7 I am so sorry Vanny. I will keep you in prayers and thoughts. Please stay strong
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (98106)
• India
26 Jan 22
@arunima25 Thank you so much. Yesterday after much of fighting crying and drama, I managed to get the MRI and other test. I can be given an Oscar. I will beat Meryl Streep hands down... because all this was so authentic.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85129)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 Jan 22
That is very, very hard. The parent becomes the child, and it's just so difficult. My heart goes out to you.
3 people like this
@vandana7 (98106)
• India
20 Jan 22
Thank you Dawny. He has taken some medicines, but not all.
1 person likes this
@dodo19 (46951)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
19 Jan 22
I'm really sorry to hear about your dad. It can't be an easy situation for you.
5 people like this
@vandana7 (98106)
• India
27 Jan 22
No it is not. I get scolded at more, told to shut up more, get glares ..get insults...and am told I am useless and stuff like that.
1 person likes this
@sabtraversa (12379)
• Italy
19 Jan 22
Sorry your father's health condition has become worse. My grandma had Parkinson's but wasn't diagnosed until it was too late. It's frustrating when a disease also affects the brain, you feel like the person you knew is no longer there. It's grim to say but it helped me with the process of mourning as I felt like my grandma had already gone. Your case will be different because your father was diagnosed earlier. Hopefully you'll find a way to make him take the meds and find alternative cures too, such as natural remedies. Every little bit helps.
4 people like this
@vandana7 (98106)
• India
29 Jan 22
Sabrina, I am sorry you went through it. My father's more of dementia and attitude. Day before, we opted for second opinion. The lady clearly said this is not Parkinson's, it is mild stroke but he does need to take some medication for almost three months for recovering completely. So she has added 2 more medications. Good news is, dad started them yesterday and today there is marked improvement in his condition. So kinda I am in better frame of mind. Finally, a right diagnosis. That, however, is not stopping him from saying he won't take ecosprin. Like hell, he won't. That is lifetime medication like that for Blood Pressure and Diabetes.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (98106)
• India
29 Jan 22
@sabtraversa At least, I find him getting up from his chair more easily and sitting more easily. Even the step seems more firm than yesterday so yes, the medication does seem to be working. Another twenty days before I can say anything.
1 person likes this
@sabtraversa (12379)
• Italy
29 Jan 22
@vandana7 Hopefully it's really something better than Parkinson's, something with more chances of recovery. Glad the new meds are working, I don't get why he doesn't want to take the other one too. I went to read your other replies, he has to take many tablets. I understand that's a little off-putting. I wonder if there's an alternative med that doesn't require as much effort.
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (91308)
• Marion, Ohio
19 Jan 22
So sorry about your dad. Its not easy but remember it is not you he is mad at. It is his health causing him to be like that. Ask if you can put his medicine in food or drink that you know he will eat. That will stop the fights. Sending you lots of hugs
4 people like this
@vandana7 (98106)
• India
29 Jan 22
@wolfgirl569 There are 11 pills some of them to be given twice or thrice a day. Impossible to do that .. so far I have managed with shouting and yelling .. brawl type. He has improved. He realizes it. This morning he was again...I will not take ecosporin. Like hell...arguments don't cease in our home. :(
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (91308)
• Marion, Ohio
29 Jan 22
@vandana7 If you can get them into something like apple sauce that would work as the smaller pills at least dont have to be busted up for that. Hopefully you can maybe get some help in. Heres more
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (91308)
• Marion, Ohio
29 Jan 22
@vandana7 Just keep at him is all you can do.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (321087)
• Rockingham, Australia
20 Jan 22
I am very sorry to hear this and will pray for you both. I don't know what the situation is there but if things become too much, you should not feel guilty about thinking about putting your father in a home, if that is a solution. In his right mind, he would never wish to be such a huge burden on you. Thanks, DE (@DaddyEvil) for suggesting this.
3 people like this
@DaddyEvil (137253)
• United States
20 Jan 22
You're very welcome.
3 people like this
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Jan 22
@JudyEv - That is good advice, Judy. A friend of mine had to put her husband of 53 years into a home after his Parkinson's left him almost catatonic. She could not lift him and do everything that needed to be done. It was very hard for her. She put him into the home just before we knew about Covid, and then she was not allowed to go visit him. It was so hard on her.
3 people like this
@JudyEv (321087)
• Rockingham, Australia
20 Jan 22
@DeborahDiane I saw tiny frail wives trying to cope with big men who had dementia and could be quite aggressive. The women were distraught that they could no longer cope. Sometimes it happens. I'm very sorry for your friend. I'm sure she felt dreadful.
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (72805)
• East Tawas, Michigan
19 Jan 22
The brain is affected by Parkinson's Disease, the mind isn't working right. Some tell family members they hate them, go away! This isn't the patient's genuine feelings!
3 people like this
@vandana7 (98106)
• India
27 Jan 22
Sounds like my father. He tells me he hates me when I place medicines before him. I cannot leave because he might throw it. So I listen to all nonsense before all the medication is down his gullet. Twice a day.
1 person likes this
@kobesbuddy (72805)
• East Tawas, Michigan
27 Jan 22
@vandana7 Yes, they are hurting on the inside. So they lash out at others closeby.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (203482)
• Nashville, Tennessee
19 Jan 22
I will keep you all in my thoughts. So sorry you are gong through this.
3 people like this
@vandana7 (98106)
• India
29 Jan 22
Thank you so much. It was a misdiagnosis. It is mild stroke. So I am cool. Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts. :)
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (203482)
• Nashville, Tennessee
29 Jan 22
@vandana7 You are very welcome. Glad to hear this update.
1 person likes this
@Faster16 (2930)
• Indonesia
20 Jan 22
so sorry,, i will pray for your father
3 people like this
@vandana7 (98106)
• India
29 Jan 22
Thank you so much. You are a nice person. It is not Parkinson's. Which is a relief, because then it would be tough. It is mild stroke. I took a second opinion from another neurologist, and she confirmed that it was mild stroke, nothing serious. Yes, there is possibility of him recovering. Thanks to your prayers. :)
1 person likes this
@Faster16 (2930)
• Indonesia
2 Feb 22
@vandana7 you're welcome
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (156229)
• United States
20 Jan 22
I am so sorry for the place you find yourself and the path you and your parent must walk.
3 people like this
@vandana7 (98106)
• India
20 Jan 22
It sure is tough. But hopefully, god will help me.
@Sreekala (34315)
• India
24 Jan 22
It is very difficult to deal with aged people especially they have some issues with nerves. My father is also not well, age related problem and has some memory issues. My brother and his family taking care of him but when brother is away he become rude and behaves like a disobedient child. When brother is around he is such a good boy. So don't know what is his problem. May be loneliness is the major problem with him as my mother passed away 15 years ago. Now in your father's case, patience is the only solution though I agree it is easy to say, have patience, but in practical is not easy deal with. Sending love and prayers to him
2 people like this
@Sreekala (34315)
• India
1 Feb 22
@vandana7 I can understand the pain. It is not easy to tackle the aged people when they are suffering memory problems. I have a suggestion. In fact it is not a suggestion but sharing some knowledge I learnt from spiritual talks. If you do meditation, please ask apology to your father while doing meditation. Never forget to thank him first then ask apology for any mistakes from your side with or without your knowledge. Please pardon his mistakes to you too. Do this regularly for 15 days and watch if there is any change in his attitude. Please do the meditation regularly with full faith. It may take some time to get results but it works if one can do it heartily.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (98106)
• India
1 Feb 22
@Sreekala I will definitely try that. Thanks. :)
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (98106)
• India
28 Jan 22
I am sorry that your father is unwell too. Same with my father, he has memory issues. He says he will tell his issues to the doctor and asks me to keep quiet. But when the doctor asks, he does not remember his issues. So when we tell he gets angry right in front of the doctor. Denies the symptoms. After returning home, he shouts at me for more than an hour. Even I get tired and definitely need peace. I sure can understand how it feels and hope I will have the guts to quit before my time. Nobody deserves to suffer this madness. I am not going to make another person suffer me like this.
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (71382)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
20 Jan 22
So sorry you are having such a tough time, I will pray for you to find a way to have the patience to got through this, Virtual hugs,
3 people like this
@vandana7 (98106)
• India
28 Jan 22
Today will go down as another day of nastiness. Thank you for prayers. They do work. It is not something that I undergo 24/7, 365 days. But some days are really bad when he cannot stop being nasty.
1 person likes this
@akalinus (39949)
• United States
25 Jan 22
I am so sorry Vanny. I have been so worried about you because I missed seeing you here and checked your profile and it was empty. I felt so sad. Praying for you and your father and the rest of your family.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (98106)
• India
26 Jan 22
Thank you so much Jo Ann. I was crying till last evening. Today has been better. Yesterday I managed to take Dad for his tests. Tomorrow neurologist's appointment. After that it will only be medication, which is also not a small task, but at least, I know I am on the right course.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (98106)
• India
27 Jan 22
@akalinus Every time I give him medications we have a brawl. Street brawl type. Me shouting at him...he shouting at me...so undignified.
1 person likes this
@akalinus (39949)
• United States
26 Jan 22
@vandana7 I really feel for you. Sometimes I wonder why life has to be so difficult.
1 person likes this
@Fleura (28465)
• United Kingdom
19 Jan 22
I am really sorry to hear this news. It is good to have an explanation for some of the difficulties you are going through, but unfortunately it means there are hard times ahead for you both.
3 people like this
@vandana7 (98106)
• India
27 Jan 22
Sometimes he is a good boy, at other times, terrible. Especially when I have to take him for tests, give medications, or take him to doctors. Today, I told him we are going for booster dose, but actually there is neurologist's appointment. Wonder what drama he will do there.
1 person likes this
• Nairobi, Kenya
19 Jan 22
Sorry about the current situation there. I hope he will take the medicine next time
2 people like this
@vandana7 (98106)
• India
28 Jan 22
We have arguments and blame game twice each day...pretty loud.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (98106)
• India
29 Jan 22
@mildredtabitha Yes he did, and he is feeling better too. Imagine! So much drama.
1 person likes this
• Nairobi, Kenya
29 Jan 22
@vandana7 did he finally take the medicine?
1 person likes this