Marriage Hesitancy.
By Kandase
@Kandae11 (53679)
February 7, 2022 8:56am CST
These days there is a lot of talk about vaccine hesitancy and the many reasons why some people are refusing to take the jab - but my topic today is not about vaccines.
We are in the month of February - known as the month of love, therefore my topic is about hesitating to get married.
What are some of the reasons couples hesitate to tie the knot? There could be many reasons but the strangest one l have heard so far is related to the surname.
This lady l heard about kept putting off getting married because she was uncomfortable with her suitor's surname. She was worried that their future kids would be teased at school.
If you are a woman, would you marry a man whose name is - Shufflebottom or Roach or Smellie?
As a man, how would you feel about it - if that surname was yours?
What are some of the other reasons couples hesitate to get married?
Pixaby image.
17 people like this
18 responses
@sjvg1976 (41132)
• Delhi, India
7 Feb 22
I don't know a person who refuses marriage just a girl doesn't want to change her surname after marriage.
As far as I know couple hesitate to tie a know because they dont want to take the responsibilities after marriage and they dont want to compromise on the things once they get married.
1 person likes this
@JimBo452020 (42629)
• United Kingdom
7 Feb 22
Names are not an issue with me.
Yvonne and I are not married.
We were both married before and I guess that made us a bit hesitant about getting married.
Anyway, what we have is good, marriage would not improve it.
If it's not broken dont try and fix it.
So we will remain unmarried I think.
1 person likes this
@JimBo452020 (42629)
• United Kingdom
7 Feb 22
@Kandae11
No.
I can't think of anything at all that could change which would make us decide to get married.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (53679)
•
7 Feb 22
@JimBo452020 Okay, Kurt Russell and Goldie Shawn - their relationship is among the longest in Hollywood and they are not married. Well l should check if they finally did it in their later years.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (137145)
• United States
7 Feb 22
Fear of commitment, fear of infidelity, fear of financial burdens beyond what is considered "normal", fear the love won't last (This one is a weird one, to me. Marriages here are based on "love" and there's never a guarantee it will last past the wedding. Both people need to understand that they need to work together to make the marriage fulfilling for the other person. One of them working at it doesn't work.).
Names aren't that difficult to change. And when two people get married, neither one of them have to take the last name of the other person they're marrying and the kid's name is whatever is put on the birth certificate. *shrug*
1 person likes this
@Freelanzer (10745)
• Canada
7 Feb 22
I think that overall, men are the ones who hesitate to get married. Afterall they do not have to worry about a biological clock running out.
1 person likes this
@healerWitch (417)
• Portugal
7 Feb 22
That's an absurd reason not to get married. I really don't know why anyone would hesitate if they really love the person and trust them.
I especially don't get the couples who live together for like 16 years or something before they decide to get married, and then they divorce 2 months later. I married my man 3 months after we met, knock on wood we're still together 13 years later.
I find it concerning that they decide on getting a divorce without a second thought, but they hesitate so much to get married in the first place.
1 person likes this
@healerWitch (417)
• Portugal
7 Feb 22
@Kandae11 it is puzzling, as I always thought that after you live with someone (and especially for so long) the only difference a marriage will do is you'll have a paper saying you're married to each other lol.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (169643)
• United States
7 Feb 22
In such a case, I would opt to keep my maiden name, and maybe the kids could use it too.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
9 Feb 22
believe it or not, this serial married woman (me) always thought you don't need a piece of paper and every time you marry I knew my suitors always changed for the worst, bringing out their true selves after. All except my last husband.
and by the way, I was told the last few times, I could keep my last name. Here what ever you sign the certificate with becomes your last name.
@RebeccasFarm (86520)
• United States
7 Feb 22
That is amusing.
Well as hard as it is for me to wrap my head around getting married at all, I can think of a myriad of reasons why I would not want to marry.
One of them might be criminal record.
1 person likes this
@RebeccasFarm (86520)
• United States
7 Feb 22
@Kandae11 I can believe that, if you truly are in love with someone, all the brakes are off.
1 person likes this
@jobelbojel (34729)
• Philippines
8 Feb 22
I think it is about having reason not to marry but because either party is so immature. I would tell that girlz cmon, grow up.
1 person likes this
@JESSY3236 (18885)
• United States
8 Feb 22
Nowadays you don't have to use the man's surname. But yeah that's strange reason. Some say it's that they are not financially stable yet.
1 person likes this
@mildredtabitha (16046)
• Nairobi, Kenya
7 Feb 22
It's really funny to think that someone will postpone marriage because of a surname. It's really an excuse.
If I were in that situation and we love each other then the name won't be a big deal.
Other reasons people postpone marriage is financial issues and family issues where some parents don't like your choice of partner.
@mildredtabitha (16046)
• Nairobi, Kenya
7 Feb 22
@Kandae11 Yes, that's possible too. A name is not enough to put off marriage.
@Anqaya (3033)
• United States
7 Feb 22
Well, she can just not change her surname and keep using her own. I live in India where it is our cultural rule to change the title. But even here, many don't change it, ofcourse not because of the title name but maybe they are already established in their own name.
Yes, I also find it meaningless to stay together for so many years and not get married.
1 person likes this
@rebelann (111083)
• El Paso, Texas
8 Feb 22
Many women in my country see no reason to do so. I for one would did not want to and to this day I am glad I did not.
@just4him (305561)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
8 Feb 22
Some men take the woman's surname. That would solve the problem.
Commitment issues. They want to be friends with benefits not commitments.
@ihasaquestion (8274)
•
8 Feb 22
Well, even if my intended name is as atrocious as Crap Bag, but if he is nice, smart, funny, responsible, consistent and we are mutually in love, I don't see a reason why I should hesitate to marry Crap Bag.. 
