How much Should One Disclose?

Especially when they are eventually revealed.

@Kandae11 - I could understand that if the couple had separate jobs, they could decide to have two accounts and to keep their salaries separated. That does not means that the other had not to know.

It seems she was into real estate, owned a number of properties and had secret accounts. He did find out eventually.

@Kandae11 Well if it was that complicated then definitely it would have taken time to figure out.

@Kandae11 And there could be cases where wives are too much into spending and Husbands won't be comfortable sharing all details!

@Kandae11 I am referring to couples that have total trust in each other.

I hear some women saying they feel more secure when there is money put away that the husband doesn't know about. Seems like those women are unsure of the husband's commitment.

@Kandae11 Well that is true Kandase. I am glad I do not have that worry anymore.

In some cases, couples share then things go wrong and one party ends up with nothing.

@RebeccasFarm Sometimes its less stressful being on one's own, doing things one's own way without fear of repercussions.

There could be a joint account, but as you say, it is also necessary to have a personal stash to spend as you like.

I see what you mean. A decision should be made about who should pay which bill - each contributing to the upkeep of the household. What is left is yours to spend anyway you desire.

@Babino That would depend on the circumstances. Personally, there are some passwords l would not want to share.

@Kandae11 yeah !! I like privacy .. I'm not hiding anything you can check whenever you want but still .. some things are mine and some things are yours. What you think about couples sharing passwords and stuff ?

There shouldn't be any problem there.

@Kandae11 I think it depends in part on the length of the relationship and how well you know the person. Some people dont have a dishonest or witholding bone in their whole body.

@snowy22315 That's true.

Some want to fully trust, but there is always that little voice in one's head saying "be careful".

That is the way it should be, but some couples can be secretive about some things.

It seems she had properties he knew nothing about when they got married. - and she did not enlighten him.

@Kandae11 But things could be different in India. Often girls marry from houses where they are used to be totally away from financial matters and often they are dependent on their husbands or fathers for things like Bank Accounts, Tax filing etc. My sister is still dependent on our father for many financial matters. So was my mother and to some extent my wife too. I think women folks should themselves make efforts to be more financially aware and know how to operate things. And things could be even worse for Rural womenfolks, although there is a gradual change. Yet on another extreme was the case of one of my uncle. His wife asked about all his accounts after marriage and instructed him not to spend a single penny without her knowing about it. I won't have such extremity of Controlling as well !!

@Kandae11 Yes there are divergences and so we cannot compare two different scenarios.

If l knew about it l won't marry him either.

I think so too.

@Sojourn Yes you are right. In some cases, it can be a joint decision making process but yes often it is not joint.

I understand.

It is awful when trust is betrayed, but we can't go through life not trusting anyone.Like you say - we should live and learn.

@Kandae11 Exactly. No situation is perfect. But without trust I am skeptical.

@Kandae11 Yup basically. It falls on both of us.

I think that is the best way of handling it. You both decide how you will share the household expenses.

@Kandae11 That is perhaps true of many celebrity types - the rich and famous anyway.

It all depends on a person's mindset. For some , money is their main focus and they will do anything to get it and keep it.

@Kandae11 Women have come so far these days it's hard to remember that we basically left finances to the husbands

@Marilynda1225 True. Things have changed so much that we have stay at home dads - while mom goes out to work.

Good advice. Some couples neglect to discuss their finances before they get married. If both work and bring home a salary, then both should contribute to the upkeep of the household.. True, back in the day less women were a part of the work force and earning their own salaries.

@Kandae11 I agree. I sleep well.

Honesty is the best policy- at least you will have a clear conscience and not have to worry about any secrets being revealed.

@TheHorse Thank you .

@Kandae11 this is true, I look at the actress Dorothy dandridge. Her husband got hold of her money and she went from 2 million to 2 dollars in the bank.

I agree, money and assets acquired before the marriage should not be squabbled over. If the owner of those assets wishes to disclose them , fine, if not - they are his or hers to do with as he or she sees fit.

@Kandae11 4got to add, now that if you get a divorce then you will have to know, you have to give your wife something. Especially if she has much less money than you.

Please don't tell me your wife has to ask you for money whenever she wants to go shopping.!

@Kandae11 No. She doesn't. But, there are of course limits.