He or She I Have the Answer

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@RubyHawk (99425)

Atlanta, Georgia

June 14, 2022 7:39pm CST

A few days ago I wrote a discussion about a maintenance person at my complex, I couldn’t tell if they were a man or woman. The person was so nice and replaced the light in my kitchen right away. The person had a very short mans hair cut, loose floppy pants, no breasts or Adam’s apple that I could see. I really appreciated the persons help but could not guess if they were man or woman. So I asked about the sex of this person and she’s a woman. The secretary told me she wouldn’t have known without seeing the lady’s information. So I wasn’t the only one who couldn’t recognize a man from a woman.

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33 responses

@kobesbuddy (74438)

• East Tawas, Michigan

15 Jun 22

And there are women who have a mannish haircut, wear masculine clothing. This is the image they want to leave. Our nephew now claims to be a girl. While a niece now says she's a male. Do I understand this? NO.

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@kobesbuddy (74438)

• East Tawas, Michigan

15 Jun 22

@RubyHawk I miss my nephew William. I miss my niece, Carlita.

4 people like this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

15 Jun 22

@kobesbuddy But they’re what they’ve always been. You just didn’t know it. They’ve told you their secret. They probably feel much better about themselves.

2 people like this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

15 Jun 22

I have no problem with cross gender people. I’d like to know so I won’t accidentally insult anyone.

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@JimBo452020 (42629)

• United Kingdom

15 Jun 22

It seems to happen a lot these days. I have often wondered what gender a person is.

5 people like this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

15 Jun 22

That was the first time for me. I didn’t know what to make of it.

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@JimBo452020 (42629)

• United Kingdom

15 Jun 22

@RubyHawk I saw this lovely girl walking down the road. Turns out it was a guy in a dress. Silly me lol Yvonne laughed

4 people like this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

15 Jun 22

@JimBo452020 Now that would be weird.

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@GardenGerty (157493)

• United States

15 Jun 22

I have seen it happen the other way as well. Guys with sweet baby faces and enough body fat they have a bit of a bust and hips.As long as they all do what they are supposed to, it is fine. I can understand your curiousity, though.

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@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

15 Jun 22

I’m sure it happens all the time. I wanted to know because I’ll see her in the complex and I didn’t want to make a boo boo.

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@wolfgirl569 (94806)

• Marion, Ohio

15 Jun 22

Keeping her hair short would help doing that job

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@wolfgirl569 (94806)

• Marion, Ohio

15 Jun 22

@RubyHawk I just wear dew rags, especially in the summer

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@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

15 Jun 22

@wolfgirl569 What are dew rags?

3 people like this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

15 Jun 22

Any kind of manual labor would likely be easier with short hair. Wouldn’t always be falling in your eyes.

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@jefferson126 (3040)

• Shenzhen, China

15 Jun 22

that person did a good job.sometimes in public place,someone dressed up oddly,would mislead others to mistake their gender.Once on train i met a preson had long hair and slim shape and wore ear ring,because she/he had back towards me,I couldn't judge gender.then i supposed the person must be a lady,however next moment when the person open mouth to speak,i got to know it's a man, how awkward.

4 people like this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

15 Jun 22

That would be awkward. You expect a person dressed like a lady to be a lady. I suppose the clothing worn by this young lady is what threw me off.

1 person likes this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

17 Jun 22

@jefferson126 That was the case with this young lady. But it could go either way.

2 people like this

@jefferson126 (3040)

• Shenzhen, China

16 Jun 22

@RubyHawk ,I expect a person's dress can clearly display gender,but sometimes it's not necessarily case.

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@Hytton03 (5454)

• Philippines

15 Jun 22

Oh sometimes it's happen to me hard to know the gender

. Sometimes I asked other people to know the gender

.

2 people like this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

15 Jun 22

I thought that was best. That’s why I asked the secretary.

1 person likes this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

15 Jun 22

@Hytton03 We do and next time I see her she might be wearing girl clothes.

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@Hytton03 (5454)

• Philippines

15 Jun 22

@RubyHawk atlis now we know the gender.

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@rebelann (111083)

• El Paso, Texas

15 Jun 22

Well, I wouldn't have thought of adams apple, sometimes the adams apple isn't very prominent.

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@rebelann (111083)

• El Paso, Texas

15 Jun 22

I think they all have one but sometimes it is not that noticeable.

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@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

15 Jun 22

@rebelann True, some are smaller.

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@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

15 Jun 22

Most if not all men have an Adam’s apple. So I noticed that.

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@jobelbojel (34729)

• Philippines

15 Jun 22

My assumption was true about she/her. She is a woman.

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@jobelbojel (34729)

• Philippines

15 Jun 22

@RubyHawk Because of your description. I suspected that because of the loose pants but looks womanly.

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@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

16 Jun 22

@jobelbojel Well, you got it right. I’m interested in how she will be dressed next time I see her.

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

15 Jun 22

Yes you were right. Why were you so certain?

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@Juliaacv (48272)

• Canada

15 Jun 22

It is difficult to ask about something like that, but it sounds like you found the right way to do it.

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@Juliaacv (48272)

• Canada

15 Jun 22

@RubyHawk Yes, we really have to tip toe on that topic, it isn't easy.

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@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

15 Jun 22

@Juliaacv Right , don’t want to insult anyone.

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@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

15 Jun 22

It is difficult because you don’t want anyone to think you’re criticizing the person. I was very careful.

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@JudyEv (325351)

• Rockingham, Australia

15 Jun 22

That's good that you now know. You won't be making any embarrassing mistakes.

2 people like this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

15 Jun 22

Right. I would never want to insult her. She was more than helpful.

1 person likes this

@paigea (35635)

• Canada

15 Jun 22

I have encountered that. Today at school I didn't know if a student was a boy or a girl and couldn't tell by the name. Luckily, another student said she

2 people like this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

15 Jun 22

I’d hate to have to ask anyone if they were man or woman. I wouldn’t want to insult anyone.

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@LindaOHio (155562)

• United States

15 Jun 22

I'm glad you now know the gender of this person.

2 people like this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

15 Jun 22

Yes, I’ll be prepared when I see her again.

1 person likes this

@Kandae11 (53679)

•

15 Jun 22

From a young age some little girls don't act the way little girls are expected to, they don't play with dolls, they might prefer to climb trees and get dirty. Some may change and become more feminine in their teen years, while others might not.

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@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

15 Jun 22

That’s true. Everyone has their own personality. We are who we are.

@ihasaquestion (8274)

•

15 Jun 22

I guess as long as the person is nice, it doesn't matter whether it is a man or a woman.

2 people like this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

15 Jun 22

It doesn’t matter at all to me. We’re all what Mother Nature made us.

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@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

15 Jun 22

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@ihasaquestion (8274)

•

15 Jun 22

@RubyHawk True..

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@betlynfrnds (4060)

• United States

15 Jun 22

Though my husband and I really don't get out a whole lot, I do occasionally run across the questionable gender.

If there is any eye contact, I simply smile and may say hello.

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@betlynfrnds (4060)

• United States

16 Jun 22

@RubyHawk There are still some very friendly people around. I always try to show kindness in a non-judgmental way.

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@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

17 Jun 22

@betlynfrnds So do I and I don’t judge anyone. We never know what others are experiencing.

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@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

15 Jun 22

That’s what I would do. I spoke to the young lady asking her to check my light and she was kind enough to take care of it. A very mannerable person.

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@much2say (53926)

• Los Angeles, California

15 Jun 22

That maintenance person did a good job . . . and that's all that really matters . . . yet for whatever reason it is sort of a relief to know, right?

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@much2say (53926)

• Los Angeles, California

16 Jun 22

@RubyHawk The thing is now "they" (which to some is the correct pronoun now) may not want to be referred to as a "she" or "he". It's all rather confusing to me, but apparently this is how it is. My friend's teen daughter dresses masculine and the mother refers to "her" as "he/him" on her FB posts.

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@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

15 Jun 22

Yes, It’s a relief , because I’ll know to address her as a woman when I see her around the complex.

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@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

17 Jun 22

@much2say I have heard that but the secretary didn’t say this girl preferred they to she. If she does maybe she’ll let me know.

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@LadyDuck (457412)

• Switzerland

15 Jun 22

Short hair is a lot better for those kind of jobs.

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@LadyDuck (457412)

• Switzerland

16 Jun 22

@RubyHawk When she shower in the morning she does not need to dry the hair with a bow dryer.

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@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

17 Jun 22

@LadyDuck No, she doesn’t. She doesn’t have enough to dry.

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@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

15 Jun 22

I think it would be. She doesn’t have hair to get in her eyes.

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@TheHorse (205277)

• Walnut Creek, California

16 Oct 22

Probably best not to ask her directly, right? Or is her "ambiguity" intentional?

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@TheHorse (205277)

• Walnut Creek, California

16 Oct 22

@RubyHawk Hmm. Maybe that's what she aspires to.

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@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

16 Oct 22

She’s a woman and a friendly helpful person but it’s hard to tell by looking at her. She looks more like an attractive young man.

1 person likes this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

16 Oct 22

@TheHorse That’s my opinion too. .

@DianneN (246334)

• United States

1 Sep 22

That reminds me of It’s Pat from Saturday Night Live. It’s awful to get it wrong and embarrass someone.

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@DianneN (246334)

• United States

1 Sep 22

@RubyHawk You’re too sweet to want to embarrass anyone. I haven’t had that problem, yet.

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@DianneN (246334)

• United States

1 Sep 22

@RubyHawk It’s difficult to know how to refer to them, too. He, she, him, her, them, they - and that’s just for one person. I would hope they would correct me.

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@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

1 Sep 22

I hope I didn’t embarrass the person , I was careful how I addressed them. I’d never had that problem before.

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Frederick Espiritu

@simplfred (20608)

• Philippines

15 Jun 22

There was this time when I thought I have seen a beautiful lady not until I have heard his husky hoarse voice by then I know...

2 people like this

@RubyHawk (99425)

• Atlanta, Georgia

15 Jun 22

It’s strange when things like that happens.

1 person likes this