At what point in your life did you feel the most "connected"? Or "part of a community"?
By The Horse
@TheHorse (205767)
Walnut Creek, California
February 7, 2023 11:02am CST
I just responded to an interesting post by @LouAvul. In that post she asked which decade we enjoyed the most. My favorite "pop" music comes from right around 1970, when the Grateful Dead, Crosby Stills and Nash, the early Doobie Brothers, etc. reigned. But my favorite decade from a personal standpoint was the 1980s. I was in graduate school, I had a pretty and smart girlfriend, I was on a good softball team, etc.
But leads me to a corollary question: At what point in your life did you feel the most connected, or part of a community? I have a decent life up here in the Bay Area, and I've done a decent job of "making my own community," but I still feel isolated sometimes. At the College, I teach and go. I don't "hang out" with my colleagues. Same with my other jobs. And same with my music and softball friends.
The decade I most enjoyed from a "feeling connected," or "part of a community" standpoint was the 1980s. I was on a research team in the lab of Dr. Daphne Bugental, a wonderful mentor. I helped another mentor build his house in the Santa Barbara hills. I was a part of "something bigger," and had goals I was working toward. I felt a sense of "belonging."
I suppose a sense of "community" could come from a church, a cool neighborhood, work, a marriage, and many other "sources."
At what point in your life did you feel the greatest sense of connection/community/belonging/meaning?
17 people like this
16 responses
@Fleura (29128)
• United Kingdom
7 Feb 23
For me it would be the 1990s, especially the first half. I lived in a tiny boat in a small community of about a dozen other boat-owners, it was like a little secret enclave a little bit apart from the rest of the world. And we could just call on each other any time for a chat or a drink. Parties were fairly frequent. Friends would come to stay too, even though I only had one room or else they would have to camp outside. And scuba-diving was a really big part of my life and that was also a very communal activity. And I worked with some lovely people.
3 people like this
@shaggin (71666)
• United States
7 Feb 23
Hmm I’ve always tended to be a loner I think more so the older I get. I don’t care that I don’t for in and generally never have cared. I’d say when my oldest kids were little and I was hosting playgroups that was a pretty good time where I made some good friends. Then when they were in school I started a coffee group at my home once a week for about a year. I really miss that group of ladies.
2 people like this
@much2say (53958)
• Los Angeles, California
7 Feb 23
There are 2 "eras" I think of in my life. One was when I started college (late 80s) . . . a job fell into my lap and I "blossomed" . . . I was amongst artist peers and I could feel comfortable being "me". The friendships made with co-workers were awesome - I felt "included". Even met Hubby there.
The 2nd would be my figure skating days (mid-90s). I skated at all the rinks out here and I knew a lot of people, young and old. I became pretty darn good at it . . . not that I was ever a celebrity, but I sort of felt like it. It was a very exciting time.
1 person likes this
@much2say (53958)
• Los Angeles, California
9 Feb 23
@TheHorse I could never be a pro skater . . . I started as an adult (although I knew quite a few delusional adult skaters 
). I have skated with the biggies and saw upcoming competitors develop . . . that was pretty cool. And the friendships made were amazing - I no longer skate but try to keep in touch with the skating community.
). I have skated with the biggies and saw upcoming competitors develop . . . that was pretty cool. And the friendships made were amazing - I no longer skate but try to keep in touch with the skating community.1 person likes this
@TheHorse (205767)
• Walnut Creek, California
8 Feb 23
Heh. I have enjoyed playing softball wherever I lived. I never had delusions of becoming a professional baseball player, but I have played with many who made it to the Minors, and one who almost made it to the Majors. I have made some good friends through sports.
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (73444)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
7 Feb 23
Just like I answered @LouAvul it was the 1970s. Life was great with friends in high school, we took part in high school musicals, I had my first love, and me and my friends made my mom's apartment teen central and hung out there and played our favorite music by our teen idols. It was awesome before we all went out separate ways and life got serious,
2 people like this
@RasmaSandra (73444)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
8 Feb 23
@TheHorse well if I had some friends I could hang out with now I would love to have it half and half, Some serious time and some time to just go crazy but there is no one to hang out with anymore,
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (205767)
• Walnut Creek, California
9 Feb 23
@RasmaSandra Many of my friends and mentors have "moved on."
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@marguicha (215441)
• Chile
7 Feb 23
I felt most connected from 1963 (when I got married) until 1973 (when the coup destroyed many things even the possibility of talking with certain people).
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@allknowing (130064)
• India
7 Feb 23
I would say my online activity. They come and go.
1 person likes this
@xander6464 (40883)
• Wapello, Iowa
8 Feb 23
I always feel the most connection/community/belonging/meaning at The Jiggly Room. It's the theater for a local dance company. They do high brow stuff like ballet.
1 person likes this
@xander6464 (40883)
• Wapello, Iowa
8 Feb 23
@TheHorse Me, too, but I'm glad I don't dance because I enjoy watching it so much.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (205767)
• Walnut Creek, California
8 Feb 23
@xander6464 I enjoy watching 1 1/2-year-olds dance. That's about it.
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@wolfgirl569 (95189)
• Marion, Ohio
7 Feb 23
I would have to say now. I have a good marriage and wonderful friends
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (156157)
• United States
8 Feb 23
Junior high. I had a ton of friends, worked in the school office, worked on the school newspaper, was doing well in school and had my first date. Life was good. This was in the early 60s.
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@TheHorse (205767)
• Walnut Creek, California
9 Feb 23
@LindaOHio Harder in an academic sense? Or a social sense?
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@LindaOHio (156157)
• United States
9 Feb 23
@TheHorse The only hard part was adjusting from parochial school to public school. Public was a lot harder.
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@celticeagle (159058)
• Boise, Idaho
7 Feb 23
I think it was when I worked for a non-profit. We were helping people with developmental issues in the community.
@LeaPea2417 (36442)
• Toccoa, Georgia
7 Feb 23
For me it was the 1990s. That was the decade my two sons were born. I had so much excitement tending to them and playing with them. Getting together with my parents (their grandparents) at Christmas was very memorable. The trips to the beach with them and the trips taken where the grandparents went too was very special.
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