Two new worries today
@shaggin (71659)
United States
March 7, 2023 10:00pm CST
Today my husband brought in the mail and there was a wedding invitation from his cousin. It shows my husbands name, my name, the baby and my stepson but not my two children from my first marriage.
I think it’s very nice children are invited since that’s extra mouths to feed but I don’t think my children should be excluded especially when there is no father alive they would stay with while everyone else goes.
My daughter is old enough to stay home but if we go it would be a family vacation we would do at the same time since it’s such a long drive and I wouldn’t want my son being left out of that. I’d love if my daughter could go to but there wouldn’t be enough room in the truck for all of us and she wouldn’t be able to take that much time off work.
Second news of the day is my sister in law has shingles. She was not feeling well and around my baby the 26th who is not vaccinated from chicken pox. My husband isn’t worried about it and I’m feeling sick worrying about it. Not being able to talk to him about it makes it harder.
Someone’s always sick here in my house or the baby’s been around someone sick or is acting like she’s coming down with something .. or the calendar is booked with other appointments .. so I had to cancel many appointments for her vaccine and kept saying each Monday I’ll call Wednesday to get in Friday then Saturday rolls around and I’ve forgotten again. I’m going to feel so horrible if she catches it.
Photo is unrelated to the post. Just a neat vintage coffee grinder I saw recently at a thrift store.
30 people like this
31 responses
@popciclecold (35022)
• United States
8 Mar 23
That is a lot on one's plate. Take care.
8 people like this
@shaggin (71659)
• United States
8 Mar 23
@popciclecold it makes me feel like I don’t even want to be on myLot for awhile. It’s the only place I can really tell about my worries though.
4 people like this
@marguicha (215154)
• Chile
8 Mar 23
Take care, sweetie. And take it easy. Everyone of us forgets things sometimes.
5 people like this
@shaggin (71659)
• United States
8 Mar 23
@marguicha I can’t remember anything it is so frustrating.
3 people like this
@shaggin (71659)
• United States
8 Mar 23
@marguicha I remember you writing about that 
2 people like this
@marguicha (215154)
• Chile
8 Mar 23
@shaggin I lost mt garage key for 2 days. I had it in my bathrobe pocket. Up to now I can´t remember when I placed it there.
3 people like this
@Tampa_girl7 (48890)
• United States
8 Mar 23
The coffee grinder is really pretty. Try not to worry. Remember that today is the day that you worried abut yesterday and all is well.
5 people like this
@shaggin (71659)
• United States
8 Mar 23
@Tampa_girl7 she will be suffering from chicken pox unnecessarily when there is a vaccine for it. Thinking of her being so little and itchy and miserable I will feel so awful watching her go through that.
3 people like this
@DaddyEvil (137145)
• United States
8 Mar 23
If it were me, I'd call the cousin and politely tell her she forgot your son and he will be attending the wedding with you. If she kicks up a fuss, tell her never mind and your hubby will be attending alone. *shrug* Or you can tell her your hubby and his son will be attending since your part of the family wasn't invited and the baby is too young to travel that far without you.
Set an alarm on your phone for Wednesday so you don't forget the baby needs to make an appointment.
5 people like this
@shaggin (71659)
• United States
8 Mar 23
@Daddyevil my husband was on the phone with his mother whom asked if we were going as she isn’t planning to. He said we might go. I said I’d rather not. So he said to his mom I don’t know maybe me and M*** (his son) will just go down. I’d either just call and rsvp the total number attending including my son or we just won’t go at all. She is my friend on Facebook she knows I have two children. My son is the one that spends the most time with the baby so he’s in photos with her often.
I have to wait now and see if she comes down with it. It takes two weeks to be effective and if they are sick or coming down with something they aren’t supposed to get shots as it makes the vaccines less effective. If she doesn’t come down with this by the 19th I will make an appointment. I’ll write it on the calender right now to call that day.
4 people like this
@shaggin (71659)
• United States
8 Mar 23
@DaddyEvil I look at the calendar all the time so I will see it Monday and call then :)
I think either we all go or none of us go. Being married it makes me look bad not going.
3 people like this
@DaddyEvil (137145)
• United States
8 Mar 23
@shaggin Then it's odd that she'd leave your kids off the invitation. (I consider that rude. Just because they aren't your hubby's kids don't mean they aren't part of the family.) At least your hubby had the right idea for just him and his son to go...
The 19th is a Sunday. You can always set an alarm in your phone to make an appointment. (I set alarms in my phone for all kinds of things Pretty and I need to remember.)
4 people like this
@shaggin (71659)
• United States
8 Mar 23
@sallypup thank you. That’s pretty much how I was thinking I just told him I’m stressed about it and going to keep stressing about it until the incubation period is up. So he’s forwarned. My sisters boyfriend is the same way about talking about something more than the initial statement. Yet we have to hear them talk about hunting for an hour or however long 
3 people like this
@snowy22315 (169614)
• United States
8 Mar 23
The 26th was quite awhile ago. I would think she would have be showig symptoms now, if she was going to get it. Your older kids aren't babies, and I am sure they would be fine on a weekend, unless you don't trust them.
3 people like this
@shaggin (71659)
• United States
8 Mar 23
@snowy22315 I don’t think a 15 & 16 year old would be good to leave home alone for a week if we went on vacation. It wouldn’t be nice to exclude him. Plus yeah you know I don’t trust my stepson with smoking in the house etc.
It usually takes 2 weeks after exposure to come down with chicken pox but can be anywhere from 7-21 days after exposure from what I read.
3 people like this
@shaggin (71659)
• United States
8 Mar 23
@snowy22315 I’m not really sure what the plan will be if either of the boys would want to go. I think my stepson would because he would try to find a way to get drunk there and he’s very social. My oldest daughter is almost never home. My son would have to stay with my parents. We never go on family vacations I’d want him to be with us to do the fun things too. My husbands already acts like my kids aren’t important I don’t want them thinking that I’m the same.
2 people like this
@snowy22315 (169614)
• United States
8 Mar 23
@shaggin I thought the stepson was going with you ?. Also, if your older daughter is going to be there with your son it should be fine.
3 people like this
@LadyDuck (457413)
• Switzerland
8 Mar 23
It has been rude to exclude your children. If you cannot invite all the children you avoid to send an invitation.
Do not worry about the Shingles, if you do not touch the affected area you cannot get it.
This coffee grinder is pretty, I have two ceramic ones.
2 people like this
@shaggin (71659)
• United States
8 Mar 23
@LadyDuck she should have just put my husband and my name and excluded all the kids. Include all the kids or none!
I wondered that about the shingles. She has it on her. Chin and her legs. If she was holding and picking up my daughter there’s a good chance my daughter could have touched the one on her chin. Her legs would have been covered though with how cold it was.
I’d love to see the ceramic ones you have. Ours is plastic and blows air out the bottom when in use. It has to be tipped a little to get all the beans to grind. My stepson ripped it way to much this morning and now there is once again grounds all over the shelf above it, on the microwave and behind it. Once he gets home I’m making him clean it up this time as I told him would happen if he made the mess again. It’s a heavy microwave to move and I shouldn’t have to clean up after him so much.
2 people like this
@shaggin (71659)
• United States
9 Mar 23
@LadyDuck that’s good to know. I have no idea what it looked like because I wasn’t there to see it. If she was just coming down with it then I would assume it would be have been most contagious at that point. She went to the Er the following day feeling awful.
2 people like this
@Fleura (29097)
• United Kingdom
8 Mar 23
Oh dear, wedding invitations are a minefield. It would be nice if you could all go and have a little vacation as well but I can understand that it can be hard to accommodate a 'big' family. Is your husband close enough to his cousin to discuss it?
3 people like this
@shaggin (71659)
• United States
9 Mar 23
@Fleura If she couldn’t invite all of our kids she shouldn’t have invited any. Saying only biological kids of my husbands isn’t right. I don’t think he would bring it up to her. She had told us to give her a head count of who all will be attending. Although the invitation showed 4 peoples names I would say 5 are attending if we all go. It’s a school night and a 9 hour drive one way. I don’t think my son would want to go and miss the last few days of school with his friends that he misses all summer but I don’t want to exclude him either.
2 people like this
@shaggin (71659)
• United States
9 Mar 23
@Fleura it would be awful with the baby I think. I’m not going to make a big stink over it I’m going to suggest none of us go but if he wants to go with his son whatever. I do worry it will make me look bad not being there as his wife. He used to never invite me to anything and at times still doesn’t so it’s kind of a hang up I have.
2 people like this
@Fleura (29097)
• United Kingdom
8 Mar 23
As for chickenpox... vaccinations against it are available here but aren't routinely offered, many people just let their children catch it on purpose as its relatively harmless. It is unpleasant but if she does get it, it's better to get it when younger as the skin will heal easily. Older children can be left with pockmarks. Big One had it when she was about one year old and she has no sign now. Little One we paid for her to be vaccinated but she screamed and fought so hard she only ever got the first shot and never had the booster : (
2 people like this
@shaggin (71659)
• United States
9 Mar 23
@Fleura that’s interesting they aren’t offered there much. They give us h3ll here if we don’t get our kids vaccinated for it. I want her to have it done so she doesn’t have to be miserable with it. Most kids don’t get it to bad but even having it at all is unnecessary to me when we have vaccines for it. That’s just my children personally how I feel I don’t mind if others don’t vaccinate theirs. I had friends who didn’t and had chicken pox play dates instead. My little baby is terrified of doctors it’s going to be awful having to take her. I didn’t realize they need a second shot of it man that’s going to be terrible.
2 people like this
@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
9 Mar 23
Hm. What will you do about the invite. I too find it unfortunate that you other kids aren;t included.
I hope everyone stays well.
2 people like this
@shaggin (71659)
• United States
9 Mar 23
@Fayehazel it’s the end of the school year and I doubt my son will want to go and miss the last days of seeing his friends. I don’t want to go without him and it’s a 9 hour drive one way that will be tough with the baby.
2 people like this
@shaggin (71659)
• United States
10 Mar 23
@FayeHazel she didn’t come to our wedding in 2020.
2 people like this
@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
10 Mar 23
@shaggin Yikes. Yeah... that's a long day of driving. Tough choice. I think I would understand if it were my wedding....
2 people like this
@JimBo452020 (42629)
• United Kingdom
8 Mar 23
I don't think your children should be excluded either.
What will you do about it?
What would happen if you just rolled up with them in toe
2 people like this
@shaggin (71659)
• United States
8 Mar 23
@Jimbo452020 I’m just going to tell my husband that I would like us all to go or none of us. He has shown himself that he doesn’t care enough about my kids and I don’t want to make them feel that I don’t care either. We would have to let the girl know how many are attending so I would just tell her 5 and give her the names. I don’t think she would dare say my son can’t come because he isn’t biologically my husbands.
2 people like this
@shaggin (71659)
• United States
8 Mar 23
@JimBo452020 he just shows it in many ways. I started to write examples and just got upset and deleted it and don’t feel like talking more about it. My fault for marrying him.
2 people like this
@JimBo452020 (42629)
• United Kingdom
8 Mar 23
@shaggin I think you are right
All or none, I would do the same.
Why does your husband not care enough about your kids?
2 people like this
@allknowing (130067)
• India
8 Mar 23
Here the invitations just say .....&family and so one is free to take along whoever they wish to.
2 people like this
@shaggin (71659)
• United States
9 Mar 23
@allknowing I think that would have been better although I’m not sure what the etiquette of it is for a formal wedding invitation here. Maybe @DianneN knows?
3 people like this
@RebeccasFarm (86515)
• United States
8 Mar 23
Sorry your kids were not invited Shanny.
Do you think you'll go?
Oh sorry to hear of your sister in law with the shingles..thats painful.
Hope the baby won't catch it then.
I love that old coffee grinder.
You have a lot to do Shanny.
2 people like this
@shaggin (71659)
• United States
9 Mar 23
@RebeccasFarm my poor sister in law can’t catch a break with her health. It’s a 9 hour drive I don’t want to go at all. If we did a vacation that week like my husband had mentioned before that would make it doable but not without my son. It’s also a school night for the last week of school.
2 people like this
@RebeccasFarm (86515)
• United States
9 Mar 23
@shaggin So is it his side of the family this cousin that is not inviting your kids?
2 people like this
@shaggin (71659)
• United States
8 Mar 23
@DianneN she has a spot on her chin and I’m sure held her so there definitely is a chance the baby can catch it. If it was just the spots on her legs I wouldn’t be worried as it would have been covered. I never would have known if I hadn’t overheard when my mother in law and husband were talking about.
2 people like this
@DianneN (246334)
• United States
8 Mar 23
@shaggin OMG! Keep an eye on the baby and check to see if she develops a fever. Hopefully, it will be nothing. On the other hand, best to get it overwith when she is young. I caught chicken box when my younger son got it in first grade. It was so much worse as an adult.
2 people like this
@aninditasen (15719)
• Raurkela, India
8 Mar 23
I think you should avoid attending occasions or functions where all your children are not invited. This type of behaviour would affect them psychologically.
2 people like this
@shaggin (71659)
• United States
9 Mar 23
@aninditasen I agree. If we go I will want him to go with us. I would rather stay home and not do a 9 hour drive one way with a baby.
2 people like this
@shaggin (71659)
• United States
10 Mar 23
@aninditasen it’s possible and that happened when my first husband and I went on a vacation when my oldest daughter was a baby. We were 6 hours away from home. It would just be a really long time for a baby to sit in a car seat and not get miserable.
2 people like this
@aninditasen (15719)
• Raurkela, India
10 Mar 23
@shaggin You are right. A baby may fall ill after a 9hour journey.
2 people like this
@CarolDM (203454)
• Nashville, Tennessee
8 Mar 23
Love the coffee grinder, what a cool find. Too bad your children were excluded on the invitation. That happens unfortunately in life. And sorry about your SIL. My Dad used to get shingles and endured a lot of pain. I hope she is better soon.
2 people like this
@shaggin (71659)
• United States
8 Mar 23
@CarolDm it’s wrong. Either you invite all the kids or none of the kids I think.
My poor sister in law has the worst luck. My first husband had shingles when he was 20 and my mother has had them twice. I hope she gets well soon. She needs to stay in a bubble she constantly is sick one thing right after. I think due to lupus she has a hard time staying healthy.
2 people like this
@shaggin (71659)
• United States
8 Mar 23
@CarolDM I’m hoping my husband will just decide that we all won’t go. My husband told his mother he may just go down with his son when I said I’d rather not go. I meant I’d rather we all not go. It will look bad on me if he goes and I don’t. I’ll look rude and antisocial.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (28222)
•
8 Mar 23
I'm in love with the coffee grinder! I have not ever seen one like it.
It's hard to take babies to weddings, I know. I am so sorry they left your older children out. That always hurts. I feel the whole family should be included, no matter what. I hope it all works out.
2 people like this
@shaggin (71659)
• United States
10 Mar 23
@MarieCoyle yes I agree. I find it so rude.
2 people like this
@shaggin (71659)
• United States
10 Mar 23
@MarieCoyle I have never seen one like it either. I thought it was so neat! I’d love to have it on my wall but I know my husband and stepson would make the biggest mess with it. They make a big mess just with the electric one we have it drives me batty.
All the kids should have been invited or none I think. I don’t plan to go and am hoping my husband won’t either.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (28222)
•
10 Mar 23
@shaggin
I just hate it when people do not include the entire family. You are your husband's family, his cousin should realize that.
2 people like this
