Do you know the term "ghosted"? Have you ever been ghosted?

@TheHorse (182930)
Walnut Creek, California
March 23, 2023 12:01pm CST
I thought my flaky friend who runs the day care was ghosting me. I hadn't heard from her in several days, and her voice mail was full. She owed me $800. Yes, @Vandana7, I'm innocent about some things. I trust people too much. Oh well. (How much is $800 in rupees? I want to feel like big money is involved here.) But yesterday, I got to work with her and Harper and the rest of the kids, and she paid me $300 of the $800 she owed me. Maybe I'll see the rest some day. As I'e mentioned in previous posts, a fella from the South Bay owed me $4,000 for speaker restoration work I had done for him over several years. He ghosted me for several months. Then he died. He was a harder, and had a lot of it old tube gear that is quite valuable. A lawyer friend of his called me after his death and gave me $1,000 worth of tube gear, made by Scott in the 1960s. I use the Scott amplifier in my bedroom stereo system. A certain ex- Ms Horse would ghost me for a few days when she was mad at me or slipped into depression. Sigh. Have you ever been ghosted? Is that term common where you live? I think it's a "young people" term, but I'm not sure. I hadn't heard it until a few years ago.
27 people like this
25 responses
@Fleura (26130)
• United Kingdom
23 Mar
Yes it's quite a new term but I know what it means, and yes, one of my old school friends has just cut me off like that. We stayed in touch for years and then she just stopped and didn't reply to anything.
6 people like this
@TheHorse (182930)
• Walnut Creek, California
23 Mar
Any idea why she did that? Sometimes it's people who owe you money or a favor or two. but not always.
6 people like this
@Fleura (26130)
• United Kingdom
23 Mar
@TheHorse No idea. I keep wondering whether I offended her somehow, but it's been years now so I will never know.
4 people like this
@TheHorse (182930)
• Walnut Creek, California
23 Mar
@Fleura Sorry to hear that. Did she have a tendency toward depression? I have a bipolar friend who ghosts me for long periods of time. Then she has a manic episode and starts asking me if I've accepted Jesus as my savior.
4 people like this
@DaddyEvil (126411)
• United States
23 Mar
Yes, I have and have ghosted some people, too.
6 people like this
@DaddyEvil (126411)
• United States
23 Mar
@TheHorse Because I was angry and didn't feel like talking to them.
6 people like this
@TheHorse (182930)
• Walnut Creek, California
23 Mar
@DaddyEvil Did they owe you money?
6 people like this
@TheHorse (182930)
• Walnut Creek, California
23 Mar
Why did you ghost someone?
5 people like this
@popciclecold (32742)
• United States
23 Mar
Well. This is the first time I've ever heard it. At first I thought.you were talking about ghosts. Like one passing away.
6 people like this
• United States
23 Mar
@TheHorse It probably has been.
5 people like this
@TheHorse (182930)
• Walnut Creek, California
24 Mar
@vandana7 Um, no. I don't think that's how it happened.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (182930)
• Walnut Creek, California
23 Mar
It's a term that makes sense. I wonder why it hasn't been around for longer.
5 people like this
@vandana7 (95806)
• India
24 Mar
Do you trust me Pony ji? I wouldn't hesitate in ghosting folks who trust me....just for fun. I kinda like checking the depth of their innocence...and want to see them at breaking point...when they gonna react. I am evil incarnate. You are in bad company, when you are with me. Know that.
5 people like this
@vandana7 (95806)
• India
24 Mar
@TheHorse Aw... I wouldn't take it to breaking point with you..LOL DJ ...I have not been in touch with her for quite some time... kinda, hesitate ...she is married now, and her folks may not accept friends like me, who knows............
5 people like this
@TheHorse (182930)
• Walnut Creek, California
24 Mar
Sadly, I would just accept it and move on. But who would I exploit to help post my music videos?
5 people like this
@TheHorse (182930)
• Walnut Creek, California
24 Mar
@vandana7 I would think she'd be busy. Is she "with" yet?
5 people like this
@much2say (52273)
• Los Angeles, California
23 Mar
I know the term but I don't use it. My sister used it recently when donation peeps didn't come to pick up at a certain agreed day/time.
6 people like this
@much2say (52273)
• Los Angeles, California
23 Mar
@TheHorse I don't know . . . I tend to use the word "flaked" . . . "they flaked on me". I get how "ghosted" makes sense now, but I think of ghosted as being visited by a ghost . . . in which they did visit and did not flake .
5 people like this
@TheHorse (182930)
• Walnut Creek, California
23 Mar
Any reason you don't use it? I wonder where it came from and why it's so "new" It kind of makes sense.
6 people like this
@TheHorse (182930)
• Walnut Creek, California
23 Mar
@much2say Heh. "Flaked" is what I've used over the years as well. I suppose "shsted" is a bit longer in duration. Language can be so nuanced!
6 people like this
@RubyHawk (90469)
• Atlanta, Georgia
23 Mar
I’m not sure I know what ghosted means. A friend told me someone was ghosting me but I didn’t admit I didn’t know the meaning of the word.So I’m still in the dark.
5 people like this
@TheHorse (182930)
• Walnut Creek, California
25 Mar
@RubyHawk I get "hecka" SPAM. Happily, I think Donald Trump has finally stopped harassing me for money. But I still get plenty. I just ignore it. Or get amused by the bad English and write about it here.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (182930)
• Walnut Creek, California
25 Mar
It's easy to look up. It means "suddenly stop returning your calls, emails, etc." It often happens when someone owes you money. Apparently, "ghosting" is a relatively new term, perhaps ten years old.
1 person likes this
@RubyHawk (90469)
• Atlanta, Georgia
25 Mar
@TheHorse Then nobody was ghosting me. I didn’t have any of those problems.I do get crazy emails and spam phone calls.
@GardenGerty (151943)
• United States
23 Mar
I know the term, and I have been ghosted. Not in romance, which is where I read it often, but more like in business and finances, as you have been.
5 people like this
@TheHorse (182930)
• Walnut Creek, California
25 Mar
Yep, I have read that it often happens when someone owes you money.
@allen0187 (58143)
• Philippines
24 Mar
Quite familiar with the term. Been ghosted before being ghosted was a thing.
4 people like this
@TheHorse (182930)
• Walnut Creek, California
24 Mar
I am sure we all have. If we've been here long enough.
3 people like this
@sjvg1976 (41968)
• Delhi, India
24 Mar
Ghosting means "when someone cuts off all communication without explanation." I never was ghosted by anyone because I don't borrow money to anyone. Also, there is any other reasons for doing it. I don't lend money to everyone.
4 people like this
@sjvg1976 (41968)
• Delhi, India
24 Mar
@TheHorse I have done it in the past when I was a bachelor but now I do not like to lend my money. I just give my money to people whom I trust.
4 people like this
@TheHorse (182930)
• Walnut Creek, California
24 Mar
I have lent money to people. And labor. And kindness. I have learned to regret it. I am on my way to becoming a selfish pig.
4 people like this
@TheHorse (182930)
• Walnut Creek, California
24 Mar
@sjvg1976 I help people by donating my time and skills. But I do not lend money to people any more.
3 people like this
@rakski (114592)
• Philippines
23 Mar
it is becoming common here but I have not yet experience it
5 people like this
@rakski (114592)
• Philippines
25 Mar
@TheHorse yes, and also some others uses that in relationship they are being ghosted, they are being avoided
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (182930)
• Walnut Creek, California
25 Mar
Is it usually when someone owes someone else money?
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (182930)
• Walnut Creek, California
25 Mar
@rakski Being ghosted in a relationship would be frustrating!
1 person likes this
@akalinus (38853)
• United States
23 Mar
A friend I have known for years with adventures in two different states just picked up and vanished. She sold her house and car and I don't know where she went. I don't know if she is alive anymore. I guess that is ghosting.
5 people like this
@TheHorse (182930)
• Walnut Creek, California
25 Mar
I would say that qualifies.
1 person likes this
@akalinus (38853)
• United States
25 Mar
@TheHorse I was shocked by the suddenness of it and have never heard a word from her or about her.
• Eugene, Oregon
23 Mar
I know the term and I can't recall being ghosted, but it must have happened some time.
4 people like this
@TheHorse (182930)
• Walnut Creek, California
23 Mar
It's probably happened to most of us at some time or another.
4 people like this
@TheHorse (182930)
• Walnut Creek, California
24 Mar
@JamesHxstatic I am learning nuances here. When someone flakes, it's a one time deal, though it may be chronic. When someone ghosts you, they simply disappear for a period of time.
3 people like this
• Eugene, Oregon
23 Mar
@TheHorse No doubt it has and does.
4 people like this
@dya80dya (28562)
23 Mar
I know this term. It is not common here.
5 people like this
@TheHorse (182930)
• Walnut Creek, California
25 Mar
The term? Or the act of ghosting?
1 person likes this
@dya80dya (28562)
25 Mar
@TheHorse I know the term and the act of ghosting. It happened to me.
23 Mar
As for me, I have been ghosted several times and it is no big deal for me.
5 people like this
@TheHorse (182930)
• Walnut Creek, California
23 Mar
Of course it's a pain when someone owes you money.
4 people like this
@snowy22315 (154462)
• United States
24 Mar
I have, I ghosted somebody once, and somebody ghosted me, but I think people need to have the integrity to say what is on their mind, and not be cruel.
3 people like this
@snowy22315 (154462)
• United States
24 Mar
@TheHorse They need to try to be. It would be a better world.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (182930)
• Walnut Creek, California
24 Mar
I agree. But humans are not always that way.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (182930)
• Walnut Creek, California
24 Mar
@snowy22315 We cant punish humans for the sins of their fathers, but a lot of people who were not loved enough when they were young (or were outright abused) become abusive as they grow up.
2 people like this
@jstory07 (129580)
• Roseburg, Oregon
24 Mar
I do not think I have been ghosted by anyone. Of course I do not loan money to anyone.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (182930)
• Walnut Creek, California
24 Mar
That is wise. I have done so in the past, and it did not turn out well.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (438979)
• Switzerland
24 Mar
It is a new term but I know what it means. I do not believe I have ever been "ghosted".
3 people like this
@LadyDuck (438979)
• Switzerland
25 Mar
@TheHorse When I loan money to people, I am always ready not to see the money back. I always consider a nice surprise if I get my money back.
@TheHorse (182930)
• Walnut Creek, California
24 Mar
You are probably wise enough not to loan money to people.
3 people like this
@xander6464 (38625)
• Wapello, Iowa
24 Mar
I was ghosted on Christmas Eve. There were three of them. And they didn't have anything useful to say. It was a waste of time.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (182930)
• Walnut Creek, California
25 Mar
I feel insulted. There were really four. I played Marley's Ghost in out 5th grade rendition of A Christmas Carol.
1 person likes this
@xander6464 (38625)
• Wapello, Iowa
25 Mar
@TheHorse I didn't count that one because he was the most useless one. Don't take that the wrong way.
@wolfgirl569 (78122)
• Marion, Ohio
24 Mar
Yes I have a few times. It doesn't bother me
3 people like this
@wolfgirl569 (78122)
• Marion, Ohio
26 Mar
@TheHorse I would just write that off
@TheHorse (182930)
• Walnut Creek, California
25 Mar
Heh. It bothers me if they owe me money.
1 person likes this
@Chellezhere (7907)
• United States
24 Mar
The term seems to be less than a decade old, and people seem to mostly do it when they owe money. One of my next-door neighbors did it to me in December.
https://www.mic.com/articles/134418/where-did-the-term-ghosted-come-from-origin-of-the-web-s-favorite-term-for-abandonment
3 people like this
@TheHorse (182930)
• Walnut Creek, California
24 Mar
@Chellezhere Oh, have you mentioned her in other comments/posts? I have this image of a rather large human on the couch eating bon bons. Now (through spreading activation of neurons in my brain) I have an image of an ambulance. Does she have health problems?
3 people like this
@TheHorse (182930)
• Walnut Creek, California
24 Mar
Ah, thanks. I will check out the link. That would be hard to ghost someone who sees you coming home from the grocery store! Did you ever get your money back?
3 people like this
• United States
24 Mar
@TheHorse This is a senior complex, and not an assisted living facility or nursing home, so residents are independent, but some have limitation. This next-door neighbor spends her depressive days on the couch gearing up for her next manic episode, so I rarely see her. So far, I have received $6.00 of the $43.00 she owes me, and I have also received the clothing she had that the donor (another resident) told her to give to me if she did not want it. I'd still like the rest of the money, but I will not push for it.
3 people like this